To wage war or not to wage war.
By Rev John Sleestaxx
They have attacked me; they have created great strife and undue grief. Even now as I type this they are plotting to weave some travesty of justice against me, some terrible awful event that will throw my world into a spiral.
I know how they work, their secret meetings and their special language. The fucking rotten bastards.
I know that they mean to do me great harm, of that I am certain. I know this because I hear them whispering as I turn the corner and their fleeting foot steps as they run away, the cowards.
Stop and fight me face to face like men, like real men. You all fight like thieves by mis-direction and stealth. You have no honor, no ethics, no real substance.
You sirs are cheats. That is right; I said you are all cheats!
Heathens and malcontents, demons from hell have better manners than you. I know, I have met many a demon and they have the uprighted-ness to at least greet you before they try to steal your soul. But not you, you fucking cheats! You all lie, cheat, and steal. You all sucker punch and run.
Stand up! Do your best but at least be seen before you bring down upon me the wrath and anguish of your focused hate. This hate that so consumes you to the point that you have given up being right and resorted to being a CHEAT!
FUCKERS!
Bring it! Bring it down here bitches because you know what? I am going to wage war! I am going to bring upon you my focused hate AND rage.
I am going to do upon you AND yours, 100 fold of the tragic, horrible, misery that you have befell (yeah it is a word fucker!) upon me.
I will tear into you like a ravenous dog, a virus that feeds on your heart and your brain. I will eat you! Yes! I WILL EAT YOU MUTHER FUCKER! And I will spit you upon the ground into the dust and I will trample you and all of your family into the clay earth and I will work such violence and pain that you will relish the warm earth into which I will put you.
I will then dance and be jubilant on your corpse. I will celebrate the loss of you while there is no-one to mourn your absence. You will not be, there will be no you. The only one to speak of your existence from then on will be me and it will not be fond words, it will not be with reverence, it will not be with thoughtful silence. The mention of you will be like a curse or a foul word. I will spit your name like one person spits something bitter or sour or spoiled.
But I will only do this once a decade. I will not let you have any more than that. You filthy, lying, dirty whore, of a cheat. You disgust me with your lame attempts to befuddle me and yoke me.
I know that you think you are all clever and you have all the secrets. But you have chosen the wrong fucker to mess with. I am not old, and I am not young, nor am I weak or slow. You can not beat me because I am not those things at all. I am mean, I am determined, I am fast, and I am strong! You chose the wrong one dipshits. And now it is I who will may you cry, and whimper like the weak simpering little cheats that you are.
I am going to beat you down and I am going to do it laughing at you and your weakness.
That is right fuck-wad I am going to beat your ass and I am going to laugh at you too!
HA HA
Yeah, I will, because that is the mean-ass-muther-fucker I am. I will destroy you, I will rent, and tear and pull and rip you apart and I will enjoy it. There will be no remorse for the animal way you were bested and beaten. I will have no sadness for the savagery I displayed or the pathetic way you whimpered and cried, I will not feel any empathy for the humiliated way you went down.
You want war? Then you got war bitches! I am so going to be up in your house and I am so going to beat you down.
Fuck yeah! Fucker you are going down!
Showing posts with label fucktard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fucktard. Show all posts
Wars are messy
Wars are messy
Rev. John Sleestaxx
It had been a long time coming. The wars were taking their toll on the civilians. Many had given up on a belief that they would have a quiet life. And I do not blame them.
I mean when you have been subjected to nightly shelling from outer space for nearly 5 decades you kind of forget how things were before the war.
You forget what it was like to go to a movie with a date and not worry about the roof caving in or the siren blaring just as the best part of the movie was unfolding.
You definitely forget about how it was back in the day when you could go to the park with your date and lay in the grass and cuddle and whisper sweet things to each other. But now the shelling has made dating a life threatening proposition.
What respectable girl is going to go on a date if her life is in jeopardy? No it was date the skanks, the skezzers, the hungry, the orphans or the thrill seekers.
The good girls, the kind you want to marry, they stay in the bunkers at night and when the need to have a baby is upon them, they either marry into a harem or they buy DNA from the many government run clinics.
That is why joining the service was so appealing. In the service you are given 3 passes a week to access the government brothels, filled with girls cloned from the best sex stock, girls created to please and not breed. We all know that our DNA material is salvaged tested and used to strengthen our population. And build up our forces to battle the evil dark menace that attacks us every night.
No one knows for sure why they attack at night. Or what we did to make them so mad.
We are told that the government has the smartest minds working on the space travel problem and once we can transverse the distance to our attackers we will be victorious.
Until then we just have to be diligent and persevere.
What I needed was a target, something to focus on something for me to aim at. I was tired of practice, tired of shooting into that damn pile of dirt, "We do not know what the enemy looks like, and we do not even know if the enemy has a head. So you will fire at anything we put up in front of you." It seems like piles of dirt are pretty cheap.
One day Crazy, his name is Craig but we call him Crazy, one day Crazy decides to make fun of me in front of the brothel girls. He tells them that I talk in my sleep and that I get a boner while I sleep. Then he tells them I touch my boner in my sleep. The girls all laugh and ask if my sleeping boner is like the one I bring to them. We all laugh at this.
So today we are again shooting at the pile of dirt and I turn to Crazy and I tell him he embarrassed me last night.
He laughs.
I shoot him and my sergeant and the rest of my platoon.
Yep it is messier to shoot a person than a dirt pile.
My books make great Christmas presents
Rev. John Sleestaxx
It had been a long time coming. The wars were taking their toll on the civilians. Many had given up on a belief that they would have a quiet life. And I do not blame them.
I mean when you have been subjected to nightly shelling from outer space for nearly 5 decades you kind of forget how things were before the war.
You forget what it was like to go to a movie with a date and not worry about the roof caving in or the siren blaring just as the best part of the movie was unfolding.
You definitely forget about how it was back in the day when you could go to the park with your date and lay in the grass and cuddle and whisper sweet things to each other. But now the shelling has made dating a life threatening proposition.
What respectable girl is going to go on a date if her life is in jeopardy? No it was date the skanks, the skezzers, the hungry, the orphans or the thrill seekers.
The good girls, the kind you want to marry, they stay in the bunkers at night and when the need to have a baby is upon them, they either marry into a harem or they buy DNA from the many government run clinics.
That is why joining the service was so appealing. In the service you are given 3 passes a week to access the government brothels, filled with girls cloned from the best sex stock, girls created to please and not breed. We all know that our DNA material is salvaged tested and used to strengthen our population. And build up our forces to battle the evil dark menace that attacks us every night.
No one knows for sure why they attack at night. Or what we did to make them so mad.
We are told that the government has the smartest minds working on the space travel problem and once we can transverse the distance to our attackers we will be victorious.
Until then we just have to be diligent and persevere.
What I needed was a target, something to focus on something for me to aim at. I was tired of practice, tired of shooting into that damn pile of dirt, "We do not know what the enemy looks like, and we do not even know if the enemy has a head. So you will fire at anything we put up in front of you." It seems like piles of dirt are pretty cheap.
One day Crazy, his name is Craig but we call him Crazy, one day Crazy decides to make fun of me in front of the brothel girls. He tells them that I talk in my sleep and that I get a boner while I sleep. Then he tells them I touch my boner in my sleep. The girls all laugh and ask if my sleeping boner is like the one I bring to them. We all laugh at this.
So today we are again shooting at the pile of dirt and I turn to Crazy and I tell him he embarrassed me last night.
He laughs.
I shoot him and my sergeant and the rest of my platoon.
Yep it is messier to shoot a person than a dirt pile.
My books make great Christmas presents
My New Home
I have been in a fairly private window cube for about 13 years.
one day some boob thought hey lets move the great reverend into a more open space enviroment and stake his window away AND give him less space.
So i had to move into an area with 80 sinners and mouth breathers. i am contastantly barraged with germs and viruses and loud fuckers looking into my cube.
I had to throw so much shit away it made me nearly cry.
It has been a week and i am moved in and i feel nearly at home. the plant was a joke but i think it added the right warmth to a very anti-septic looking enviroment.
these new cubes were very instituttionalized and very cookie cutter like. but mine is like home away from home.
one day some boob thought hey lets move the great reverend into a more open space enviroment and stake his window away AND give him less space.
So i had to move into an area with 80 sinners and mouth breathers. i am contastantly barraged with germs and viruses and loud fuckers looking into my cube.
I had to throw so much shit away it made me nearly cry.
It has been a week and i am moved in and i feel nearly at home. the plant was a joke but i think it added the right warmth to a very anti-septic looking enviroment.
these new cubes were very instituttionalized and very cookie cutter like. but mine is like home away from home.
Friday is a party.
Friday is a party.
By Rev. John Sleestaxx
Friday is a party. Man you are all pumped the boys are pumped and you are all gonna play some fucking baseball.
For some of you got a buy. That means that you do not have to play Friday night. You do not have to worry if the team is distracted by the day’s lessons at school. You do not have to worry about your starters parents being late because of work. You can have a BBQ and beer in the backyard with the inner circle. You know who this is this is the core teams parents and coaches. These are the ones you started the team with these are the ones you know that when the chips are down they will be there.
For those too late for the buy this is a great time to warm up and see what the other teams are bringing to the table. You have the opportunity to get the jitters out of the boys.
Saturday is a day of many possibilities and fresh starts. Last night was not a big deal if you played well the team was tired from the day of classes and the parents stressed from the rushing to get to the field. If you got a buy then today is a day of wondrous possibilities. No team here has what you have and you are gonna show them all how great this game can be played.
Sunday is seed day. Sunday you have been seeded, you have been ranked and god and the world knows all the errors you made and runs you made. You have fought hard fro this seed and damn it things can happen your way, for once!
“Why do they have the lowest play the highest?” “Where’s the fairness of that?” “Well as long as I save my bestest boy I can win the ship.”
But you are also worried about bridges you burned to get to Sunday. The umpires you talked shit too from your magic bucket. “Man I know that was a strike I could see it from here, what the hell is he looking at?” “These are kids blue they are not major league ball players help me out.” These blind men are the same ones that will be walking on your field any minute. “Do I apologize for calling him terrible?” “Naw, they get that all the time it is part of the job.”
What parent is mad at you, what alliances are being made right now while you are trapped on that field? Are you now out of the inner circle? Is your wife listening to the chatter so you can get the scoop. Why is the dad of your ace player talking to the coach of the other team. The other team you are about to play. The team that has the highest seed. Is he romancing him? Shit you are going to have to win to keep these bastards happy.
Has the power shifted? Are you loosing the parent game while you lose the baseball game. FUCK!
How many new alliances are being created while you try to win a game.
And to make matters worse that mother fucker in gray slacks and blue shirt is just not seeing your vision like he should. Why can’t he not see that out at first, I guess that is what you call a pay back call. Shit that boy is about steal second and third and then on the over throw he will score. FUCK. Why can’t these kids play better? Why can’t they play like you when you were that age?
The sounds of despair, disappointment, depression, and down right anger drift over the fields.
You imagine some poor bastard is having a bad game like you. You wonder that maybe the best players from his team and the best from your team could really make a phenomenal team. Your wife is now standing way down the right field fence near the parking lot. THAT IS NOT GOOD! That means that you made a mistake and the parents are talking shit about you. But it is not your mistake, you did not schedule the umpires you can not get the right umpires.
The wailing and blasphemous curses are sharp and pointed. Are all the umpires blind? Shit.
This is it men, the fate of the free world rests on the shoulders of not men but boys, boys that are playing game of baseball.
The winner of this game is the king of the universe and gets to control the gas prices for the next 7 to 14 days. Now damn it blue get the call right!
Shit 6 minutes left and home is up to bat. And they are taking their time to get to the plate. Those fuckers, they are burning the clock! How bush league! Yeah I would do it too but only when I …. Aww fuck it!
By Rev. John Sleestaxx
Friday is a party. Man you are all pumped the boys are pumped and you are all gonna play some fucking baseball.
For some of you got a buy. That means that you do not have to play Friday night. You do not have to worry if the team is distracted by the day’s lessons at school. You do not have to worry about your starters parents being late because of work. You can have a BBQ and beer in the backyard with the inner circle. You know who this is this is the core teams parents and coaches. These are the ones you started the team with these are the ones you know that when the chips are down they will be there.
For those too late for the buy this is a great time to warm up and see what the other teams are bringing to the table. You have the opportunity to get the jitters out of the boys.
Saturday is a day of many possibilities and fresh starts. Last night was not a big deal if you played well the team was tired from the day of classes and the parents stressed from the rushing to get to the field. If you got a buy then today is a day of wondrous possibilities. No team here has what you have and you are gonna show them all how great this game can be played.
Sunday is seed day. Sunday you have been seeded, you have been ranked and god and the world knows all the errors you made and runs you made. You have fought hard fro this seed and damn it things can happen your way, for once!
“Why do they have the lowest play the highest?” “Where’s the fairness of that?” “Well as long as I save my bestest boy I can win the ship.”
But you are also worried about bridges you burned to get to Sunday. The umpires you talked shit too from your magic bucket. “Man I know that was a strike I could see it from here, what the hell is he looking at?” “These are kids blue they are not major league ball players help me out.” These blind men are the same ones that will be walking on your field any minute. “Do I apologize for calling him terrible?” “Naw, they get that all the time it is part of the job.”
What parent is mad at you, what alliances are being made right now while you are trapped on that field? Are you now out of the inner circle? Is your wife listening to the chatter so you can get the scoop. Why is the dad of your ace player talking to the coach of the other team. The other team you are about to play. The team that has the highest seed. Is he romancing him? Shit you are going to have to win to keep these bastards happy.
Has the power shifted? Are you loosing the parent game while you lose the baseball game. FUCK!
How many new alliances are being created while you try to win a game.
And to make matters worse that mother fucker in gray slacks and blue shirt is just not seeing your vision like he should. Why can’t he not see that out at first, I guess that is what you call a pay back call. Shit that boy is about steal second and third and then on the over throw he will score. FUCK. Why can’t these kids play better? Why can’t they play like you when you were that age?
The sounds of despair, disappointment, depression, and down right anger drift over the fields.
You imagine some poor bastard is having a bad game like you. You wonder that maybe the best players from his team and the best from your team could really make a phenomenal team. Your wife is now standing way down the right field fence near the parking lot. THAT IS NOT GOOD! That means that you made a mistake and the parents are talking shit about you. But it is not your mistake, you did not schedule the umpires you can not get the right umpires.
The wailing and blasphemous curses are sharp and pointed. Are all the umpires blind? Shit.
This is it men, the fate of the free world rests on the shoulders of not men but boys, boys that are playing game of baseball.
The winner of this game is the king of the universe and gets to control the gas prices for the next 7 to 14 days. Now damn it blue get the call right!
Shit 6 minutes left and home is up to bat. And they are taking their time to get to the plate. Those fuckers, they are burning the clock! How bush league! Yeah I would do it too but only when I …. Aww fuck it!
ATL-OAK-SFO-DEN-CYS
ATL-OAK-SFO-DEN-CYS
Falcons @ Raiders to BAR @ SFO to BAR @ DEN
Airline personnel: "Sir have you been drinking?"
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "You just watched me walk out of the bar to here. What do you think I was doing?"
Airline personnel: "Sir I think that you may have had too much to drink"
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "Why do you say that?
Airline personnel: "well uh you look as though"
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "as though I hate to travel?"
Airline personnel: "no you ..."
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "listen did you just hear that great sss sound? Just let me on the plane to CYS and I will be a happy man."
Airline personnel: "but you may have had too much to drink."
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "Am I loud? Am I rude? Did I stumble out of the bar? How about?? Did I stagger up to the boarding counter? Do I appear to be a threat?"
Airline personnel: I can not let you on the plane if you have had too much to drink.
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "What are your qualifications to make that assessment? Are you a doctor? Are you a licensed officer of the law? Have you had too much school? I think you are either green or you decided that you did not like me and you want to harass me. Listen through this entire interaction I have not raised my voice and I have clearly made a logical argument with you. And the fact that you have not called security and you still have not said that I am drunk and I can not fly means you really do not believe yourself. Just let me on the plane so I can sleep and forget how miserably painful humanity is."
DEN to CYS then TAXI @ CYS to HOME. Hello BED
Falcons @ Raiders to BAR @ SFO to BAR @ DEN
Airline personnel: "Sir have you been drinking?"
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "You just watched me walk out of the bar to here. What do you think I was doing?"
Airline personnel: "Sir I think that you may have had too much to drink"
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "Why do you say that?
Airline personnel: "well uh you look as though"
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "as though I hate to travel?"
Airline personnel: "no you ..."
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "listen did you just hear that great sss sound? Just let me on the plane to CYS and I will be a happy man."
Airline personnel: "but you may have had too much to drink."
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "Am I loud? Am I rude? Did I stumble out of the bar? How about?? Did I stagger up to the boarding counter? Do I appear to be a threat?"
Airline personnel: I can not let you on the plane if you have had too much to drink.
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "What are your qualifications to make that assessment? Are you a doctor? Are you a licensed officer of the law? Have you had too much school? I think you are either green or you decided that you did not like me and you want to harass me. Listen through this entire interaction I have not raised my voice and I have clearly made a logical argument with you. And the fact that you have not called security and you still have not said that I am drunk and I can not fly means you really do not believe yourself. Just let me on the plane so I can sleep and forget how miserably painful humanity is."
DEN to CYS then TAXI @ CYS to HOME. Hello BED
We need to be competitive
We need to be competitive and we need to make some changes
By Rev J. Sleestaxx
This was thought out as a video lampooning some CEO of some company but I was worried my CEO would think I am lampooning him, I wanted to keep my job and because of safety reasons I have to still maintain some anomitity (a couple more deaths to go.) so let us look at this like a cult talking about individual competition.
We need to get more competitive.
So my plan is to stream line our interests so we will lose weight.
We have lost 10% and that is great can you all feel the new found agility. I know that the process to lose weight created some hardship but the reward is a trimmer, fitter ready-for-competition us.
All though we still need to make some changes. We have been developing some relationships with outside people to help us be more competitive. And since our partners can make stuff and we are right handed we will cut off just our left hand. We can make things with just right hand and I know it can be difficult but we need to adapt to be competitive.
We have made it through the change and it has been great. I know I understand and I appreciate the work that is being done. But since we have we cut off the left hand we will now remove the left arm. The arm served its purpose but these are new faster exciting competitive times. But we are now a one handed community.
We can and do build with just one hand but our partners have two and they can build and make more efficiently than us leaving us to be mobile and able to focus more on being competitive. So we will remove our right hand and from past experience we know that the right arm is not used without the right hand so rather than go through the removal of the hand and then the removal of the arm we will leverage from past experience and remove the arm and hand at the same time.
Well done. Well done! We are now able to focus on being competitive and mobile. We can still think and talk, we can interface well AND be mobile.
Ok we have done much to be competitive, but the challenges ahead are great so we have reviewed our plan and found that there are areas that we do not fit. So, for us to fit in more areas, to be more competitive we have decided to cut off the feet. We will still be mobile and since it was decided to do both feet we will get ahead of the curve.
Good, good fantastic numbers and the move to cut off our feet has help us realize an area that has little competition so that means that the removal of our legs will put us in a better position competitively. We can open partnerships that are more competitive in the overly competitive area of mobility. We will still be able to think and communicate therefore we can still compete in other areas with the help of our alliances and partnerships. This may be difficult but I know we have the ability to persevere and overcome.
Fantastic I told you all this was a good decision. We are now in a whole new field and we are very competitive. I think you all know the next logical step.
It makes sense and it will off load the burden of thinking and communicating that we do and put that on to our partners leaving us to focus on our core we will be the only ones so there will be no competition which is the goal of any competition and that is to win.
By Rev J. Sleestaxx
This was thought out as a video lampooning some CEO of some company but I was worried my CEO would think I am lampooning him, I wanted to keep my job and because of safety reasons I have to still maintain some anomitity (a couple more deaths to go.) so let us look at this like a cult talking about individual competition.
We need to get more competitive.
So my plan is to stream line our interests so we will lose weight.
We have lost 10% and that is great can you all feel the new found agility. I know that the process to lose weight created some hardship but the reward is a trimmer, fitter ready-for-competition us.
All though we still need to make some changes. We have been developing some relationships with outside people to help us be more competitive. And since our partners can make stuff and we are right handed we will cut off just our left hand. We can make things with just right hand and I know it can be difficult but we need to adapt to be competitive.
We have made it through the change and it has been great. I know I understand and I appreciate the work that is being done. But since we have we cut off the left hand we will now remove the left arm. The arm served its purpose but these are new faster exciting competitive times. But we are now a one handed community.
We can and do build with just one hand but our partners have two and they can build and make more efficiently than us leaving us to be mobile and able to focus more on being competitive. So we will remove our right hand and from past experience we know that the right arm is not used without the right hand so rather than go through the removal of the hand and then the removal of the arm we will leverage from past experience and remove the arm and hand at the same time.
Well done. Well done! We are now able to focus on being competitive and mobile. We can still think and talk, we can interface well AND be mobile.
Ok we have done much to be competitive, but the challenges ahead are great so we have reviewed our plan and found that there are areas that we do not fit. So, for us to fit in more areas, to be more competitive we have decided to cut off the feet. We will still be mobile and since it was decided to do both feet we will get ahead of the curve.
Good, good fantastic numbers and the move to cut off our feet has help us realize an area that has little competition so that means that the removal of our legs will put us in a better position competitively. We can open partnerships that are more competitive in the overly competitive area of mobility. We will still be able to think and communicate therefore we can still compete in other areas with the help of our alliances and partnerships. This may be difficult but I know we have the ability to persevere and overcome.
Fantastic I told you all this was a good decision. We are now in a whole new field and we are very competitive. I think you all know the next logical step.
It makes sense and it will off load the burden of thinking and communicating that we do and put that on to our partners leaving us to focus on our core we will be the only ones so there will be no competition which is the goal of any competition and that is to win.
Take no shit
This weekend I umpired a state tournament. No this was not a World Series but the winner received a berth to a world series and no again, it would not be a world series that would be on ESPN.
I started the weekend by doing 9s. Aaaahh nine year olds so focused so attentive so unable to stop the ball before it hits the umpire. Dads in the back with radar guns and talking about curves and sliders and changeups.
If I have, one more dad tell me to hang with the curve I swear I will eat him with red beans and rice and wash the entire meal down with the blood of a badger.
Therefore, I have done this tourney a few times in the past few years and I know this is life and death, the winner of every game gets to decide the gas prices, someone's grandmother is held captive by ninjas and her life and the life of 500 virgins hang on the balance of this game. However, I also know that the shit has to be stopped before it gets out of hand.
I decide to approach it differently then in the past. In the past, I wait until I can no longer take the insults the jabs the drive bys and I warn a coach and then I never ever get to eject him because I keep re-drawing the line. Therefore, this year I am drawing the line at the top and hold it fast.
First chirp gets a "we are not going there today. We are not going there do I make myself clear?" I start the plate meeting with a personable pleasant attitude and humor but when they chirp I jerk the lease tight and hard. This seemed to be very effective.
My son said that he was embarrassed at one point because I came out too fast on one dad but when I asked my son if he thought the game was more enjoyable after the dad was told to keep quite. He admitted that I was right.
I did 18 games in three days I will not talk about all 18 as many went with no issue.
Game one 9s
Red vs. white
I on bases and newbie [not my son] on plate.
No one on
Screamer up third base line
I pivot but I peek at the ball as it passes third (it is foul but I hear no indication)
[I now that if I do not hear foul I am going to have a shit storm on my hands]
I watch the runner cross first and go to second I hear the shit storm thunder "what's the call blue?.....you have to make a call blue!" now there is no way to convey the anger and rage that is in this voice but trust me when I turned I expected to see this coach holding my 16 year old partner by the throat.
Runner stops I turn to handle the shit storm and there is my partner doe eyed and in full panic mode. The coach is screaming and he is not telling the coach a thing. I call time and the coach starts to come out to me. I hold the umpire hand out to him and tell him to stay there he keeps coming "No coach you will go to the dug out right now!" he stops. I offer the umpire a chance to come talk to me.
"What’s the call?"
I do not know
It is either fair or foul
What do you think?
First, I was not supposed to look, I should not make that call from first base line. You had the angle it was your ball.
Yeah I know but I do not know what to call it.
Well in this case ... what is the count?
Two Two
OK if you call it foul everybody gets to go back and the batters count does not change.
I peeked at the drive and I can say that it was foul but do not plan on that rather help all the time be ready to make a call.
OK I will call it foul.
He calls it foul and not a soul complains not one chirp.
Later in the same, there is contact and although I did not see it as I watched my play, I know it was malicious. The world is screaming at the kid the pitcher is 8 feet from the plate and the runner is trotting back to the dug out. I call time the coach again wants to yell at me I hold him at bay and I talk to my partner.
The runner is out
No pitcher dropped the ball
No the runner is out for contact
You have to decide was the contact malicious.
No, it was not
Are you sure, because my back was turned on another potential play.
Yes, it was not malicious.
Turn around and call the runner out for contact he did not exercise one of his four options.
He turns, calls the runner, the coach comes out to me you cannot turn his call over.
No, I cannot
However, you just did
No, I did not
He changed his call
However, you told him to
no I did not we discussed the rule and clearly your player failed to slide, your player failed to stop, your player failed to go around, and he clearly failed to go back, so the only discussion we had was to eject him and you or just call him out.
Is he ejected?
Are you still in this game talking to me?
He turns and goes back to the dug out.
I explain the conditions to the other coach. He wants malicious contact I tell him I cannot give him that because I did not see the play.
Why not?
Because you might have wanted that out at second too.
We did not get one at second but you might have and I would have missed it if I were watching the play at home.
OK you are right.
Thanks coach.
Game 3 nine
Me on bases
Newbie [not my son] on plate (you have to do it at some point)
He gets a fucked up convoluted play at the plate and I would have made the same call as him but the coach wants to yell and intimidate the young man. He yells, "That is horrible that is terrible that is totally UN acceptable"
I call time and I make the coach walk all the way to me at first base. I tell him that his attitude is horrible that it is a terrible example and that it is unacceptable and if he is to lose his cool one more time, I do not care the reason and how much time is left on the clock I will send him to the parking lot and then my report will ensure that he is out for the rest of the tournament.
He says that I am right and that he is sorry
I tell him that he needs to apologize to the players not me.
Game 13
White vs. blue nine
98ºF 88%H
High shoulder pitch for the third ball in a row at the top of the first half (third pitch of the game) white moans and says something.
I turn and say We Will Not Go There Today. No, we will not. Am I clear?
Five heads nod yes
An out later runner steals third catcher throws and beats the runner but the fielder is too slow to swipe a proper tag my son calls the runner safe.
A coach screams BULLSHIT!
I did not hear it
My son did and he turned and in three steps crossed from third to first base line and says to the white team "there will be no profanity on the fields at any time". The five coaches all look like whip lash victims. Here is a 16-year-old telling 30-year-old gansta/MS13 looking men to stop swearing and he does so with all the authority of a grown man. I tell you I was never so proud at that moment.
Not a word fro the rest of the inning.
At the half-blue coach comes down to warm the pitcher. “I am going to call you the no nonsense umpires"
It is too hot to deal with anything other than just baseball.
He agrees.
My son arrives at the plate
I say to him "a warning for profanity?" man that coach owes you a steak dinner." he has no idea that he should be in his car right now.
My son says he did not know which coach said it.
I said if you had tossed the manger, he would have ponies the man up right quick
Yeah you are right
Wow, he is lucky I did not hear the profanity.
The white coach walks up, apologizes, and says that he has the situation under control.
My son says I hope so because it will not be tolerated around these young men.
You are right blue I am sorry
((You know what? My son fucking rocks!))(At 16 he gets it, he has the maturity to do the things it takes to be a man. I did not I was still trying to live and stay alive)
Game 16
Green vs. Blue 13s
me at the dish
3 minutes left of playtime losing team at the plate
Coach complains about a narrow escape at home.
I hear something from his side about picking sides
In addition, he has just said, "you have to call that pitch for both sides blue"
I stop the game.
"Coach, I know that there is 3 minutes left to play and I do not care if there is 30 seconds left to play if I hear one more remark that questions my integrity of my sportsmanship I will toss you to the parking lot and then call ball game.
Do not ever question my honesty I am not here to pick a winner I am here to make the decisions the two coaches cannot.
Yes blue I am sorry.
Game 18
Championship 12s
Yellow vs. white
This game was a tightly played well-pitched game that resembled two boxers in the ring trading punches. Honest to god the first two innings had no more than 13 pitches thrown.
No runner advanced past third base, we played for 3 hours something like 8 innings, and the game ended 7-0.
How you might asked.
White’s #12 was on the mound and the coach told me he was going to sub him in this half as he only had one out left in his allowable count for the tournament, but he was going to let him pitch while his number 2 boys was warming up.
Are you?
Yes.
Yellow coach says hey coach you now he has only one out right.
Yeah I am going to leave him in for it. Thanks for reminding me.
No problem.
I start the game. The pitcher clearly walks the first batter to burn sometime.
I look to white coach to see if he wants time.
I let the yellow batter in the box and he sees three balls and then the pitcher lets one drop into the zone just enough and the batter hits it to third. Third scoops and throws to second. OUT! In addition, the second turns and throws to first for a banger. OUT!
The play could have gone the other excessively. The white coach drops to his knees. The yellow coach is calmly walking up to me. The players and the parents have no clue what just happened except a double play was made and on a bang bang. The umpire on the field has no idea either because he is going back to his position.
Yellow coach goes to me and says the pitcher has pitched too many outs. Yes, I think you may be right, get the tourney director.
The white coach is now explaining to his side what just happened. My partner hears and he just smiles.
The tourney director confirms that the double was too many outs and the white has to forfeit the game.
I told my partner that this is the first time in history that a defensive coach is pissed that an umpire called a double play.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
I started the weekend by doing 9s. Aaaahh nine year olds so focused so attentive so unable to stop the ball before it hits the umpire. Dads in the back with radar guns and talking about curves and sliders and changeups.
If I have, one more dad tell me to hang with the curve I swear I will eat him with red beans and rice and wash the entire meal down with the blood of a badger.
Therefore, I have done this tourney a few times in the past few years and I know this is life and death, the winner of every game gets to decide the gas prices, someone's grandmother is held captive by ninjas and her life and the life of 500 virgins hang on the balance of this game. However, I also know that the shit has to be stopped before it gets out of hand.
I decide to approach it differently then in the past. In the past, I wait until I can no longer take the insults the jabs the drive bys and I warn a coach and then I never ever get to eject him because I keep re-drawing the line. Therefore, this year I am drawing the line at the top and hold it fast.
First chirp gets a "we are not going there today. We are not going there do I make myself clear?" I start the plate meeting with a personable pleasant attitude and humor but when they chirp I jerk the lease tight and hard. This seemed to be very effective.
My son said that he was embarrassed at one point because I came out too fast on one dad but when I asked my son if he thought the game was more enjoyable after the dad was told to keep quite. He admitted that I was right.
I did 18 games in three days I will not talk about all 18 as many went with no issue.
Game one 9s
Red vs. white
I on bases and newbie [not my son] on plate.
No one on
Screamer up third base line
I pivot but I peek at the ball as it passes third (it is foul but I hear no indication)
[I now that if I do not hear foul I am going to have a shit storm on my hands]
I watch the runner cross first and go to second I hear the shit storm thunder "what's the call blue?.....you have to make a call blue!" now there is no way to convey the anger and rage that is in this voice but trust me when I turned I expected to see this coach holding my 16 year old partner by the throat.
Runner stops I turn to handle the shit storm and there is my partner doe eyed and in full panic mode. The coach is screaming and he is not telling the coach a thing. I call time and the coach starts to come out to me. I hold the umpire hand out to him and tell him to stay there he keeps coming "No coach you will go to the dug out right now!" he stops. I offer the umpire a chance to come talk to me.
"What’s the call?"
I do not know
It is either fair or foul
What do you think?
First, I was not supposed to look, I should not make that call from first base line. You had the angle it was your ball.
Yeah I know but I do not know what to call it.
Well in this case ... what is the count?
Two Two
OK if you call it foul everybody gets to go back and the batters count does not change.
I peeked at the drive and I can say that it was foul but do not plan on that rather help all the time be ready to make a call.
OK I will call it foul.
He calls it foul and not a soul complains not one chirp.
Later in the same, there is contact and although I did not see it as I watched my play, I know it was malicious. The world is screaming at the kid the pitcher is 8 feet from the plate and the runner is trotting back to the dug out. I call time the coach again wants to yell at me I hold him at bay and I talk to my partner.
The runner is out
No pitcher dropped the ball
No the runner is out for contact
You have to decide was the contact malicious.
No, it was not
Are you sure, because my back was turned on another potential play.
Yes, it was not malicious.
Turn around and call the runner out for contact he did not exercise one of his four options.
He turns, calls the runner, the coach comes out to me you cannot turn his call over.
No, I cannot
However, you just did
No, I did not
He changed his call
However, you told him to
no I did not we discussed the rule and clearly your player failed to slide, your player failed to stop, your player failed to go around, and he clearly failed to go back, so the only discussion we had was to eject him and you or just call him out.
Is he ejected?
Are you still in this game talking to me?
He turns and goes back to the dug out.
I explain the conditions to the other coach. He wants malicious contact I tell him I cannot give him that because I did not see the play.
Why not?
Because you might have wanted that out at second too.
We did not get one at second but you might have and I would have missed it if I were watching the play at home.
OK you are right.
Thanks coach.
Game 3 nine
Me on bases
Newbie [not my son] on plate (you have to do it at some point)
He gets a fucked up convoluted play at the plate and I would have made the same call as him but the coach wants to yell and intimidate the young man. He yells, "That is horrible that is terrible that is totally UN acceptable"
I call time and I make the coach walk all the way to me at first base. I tell him that his attitude is horrible that it is a terrible example and that it is unacceptable and if he is to lose his cool one more time, I do not care the reason and how much time is left on the clock I will send him to the parking lot and then my report will ensure that he is out for the rest of the tournament.
He says that I am right and that he is sorry
I tell him that he needs to apologize to the players not me.
Game 13
White vs. blue nine
98ºF 88%H
High shoulder pitch for the third ball in a row at the top of the first half (third pitch of the game) white moans and says something.
I turn and say We Will Not Go There Today. No, we will not. Am I clear?
Five heads nod yes
An out later runner steals third catcher throws and beats the runner but the fielder is too slow to swipe a proper tag my son calls the runner safe.
A coach screams BULLSHIT!
I did not hear it
My son did and he turned and in three steps crossed from third to first base line and says to the white team "there will be no profanity on the fields at any time". The five coaches all look like whip lash victims. Here is a 16-year-old telling 30-year-old gansta/MS13 looking men to stop swearing and he does so with all the authority of a grown man. I tell you I was never so proud at that moment.
Not a word fro the rest of the inning.
At the half-blue coach comes down to warm the pitcher. “I am going to call you the no nonsense umpires"
It is too hot to deal with anything other than just baseball.
He agrees.
My son arrives at the plate
I say to him "a warning for profanity?" man that coach owes you a steak dinner." he has no idea that he should be in his car right now.
My son says he did not know which coach said it.
I said if you had tossed the manger, he would have ponies the man up right quick
Yeah you are right
Wow, he is lucky I did not hear the profanity.
The white coach walks up, apologizes, and says that he has the situation under control.
My son says I hope so because it will not be tolerated around these young men.
You are right blue I am sorry
((You know what? My son fucking rocks!))(At 16 he gets it, he has the maturity to do the things it takes to be a man. I did not I was still trying to live and stay alive)
Game 16
Green vs. Blue 13s
me at the dish
3 minutes left of playtime losing team at the plate
Coach complains about a narrow escape at home.
I hear something from his side about picking sides
In addition, he has just said, "you have to call that pitch for both sides blue"
I stop the game.
"Coach, I know that there is 3 minutes left to play and I do not care if there is 30 seconds left to play if I hear one more remark that questions my integrity of my sportsmanship I will toss you to the parking lot and then call ball game.
Do not ever question my honesty I am not here to pick a winner I am here to make the decisions the two coaches cannot.
Yes blue I am sorry.
Game 18
Championship 12s
Yellow vs. white
This game was a tightly played well-pitched game that resembled two boxers in the ring trading punches. Honest to god the first two innings had no more than 13 pitches thrown.
No runner advanced past third base, we played for 3 hours something like 8 innings, and the game ended 7-0.
How you might asked.
White’s #12 was on the mound and the coach told me he was going to sub him in this half as he only had one out left in his allowable count for the tournament, but he was going to let him pitch while his number 2 boys was warming up.
Are you?
Yes.
Yellow coach says hey coach you now he has only one out right.
Yeah I am going to leave him in for it. Thanks for reminding me.
No problem.
I start the game. The pitcher clearly walks the first batter to burn sometime.
I look to white coach to see if he wants time.
I let the yellow batter in the box and he sees three balls and then the pitcher lets one drop into the zone just enough and the batter hits it to third. Third scoops and throws to second. OUT! In addition, the second turns and throws to first for a banger. OUT!
The play could have gone the other excessively. The white coach drops to his knees. The yellow coach is calmly walking up to me. The players and the parents have no clue what just happened except a double play was made and on a bang bang. The umpire on the field has no idea either because he is going back to his position.
Yellow coach goes to me and says the pitcher has pitched too many outs. Yes, I think you may be right, get the tourney director.
The white coach is now explaining to his side what just happened. My partner hears and he just smiles.
The tourney director confirms that the double was too many outs and the white has to forfeit the game.
I told my partner that this is the first time in history that a defensive coach is pissed that an umpire called a double play.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Also reading 
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..
Seven Deadly Sins: Greed By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Seven Deadly Sins: Greed
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Mar 7:22
adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.
Today I am going to tell a story and talk about greed.
We are under attack you and I. The rich want to get richer and they do not care about who they eat on the way. If are not rich you are in trouble.
Luk 12:15
Then he said to them, “Watch out and guard yourself from all types of greed, because one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”
2Pe 2:14
Their eyes, full of adultery, never stop sinning; they entice unstable people. They have trained their hearts for greed, these cursed children!
They can not buy their way into the real estate purchase of an after-lifetime. the priceless lot you secure today will only appreciate even more. The cost was nothing but your promise to live your life for the lord. And listen to his teachings.
Jud 1:11
Woe to them! For they have traveled down Cain’s path, and because of greed have abandoned themselves to Balaam’s error; hence, they will certainly perish in Korah’s rebellion.
Last Thursday I was privileged to baptize a members supervisor. This dumb piece of shit was paying his employees just enough that the employees could barely eek out an existence but just enough that the employees did not want to loose their vested time by looking else where.
I sat this boss down and we talked about it and all it came down to was that he saw that if skimmed on 1 dollar an hour raise across the board he could see a profit of 1000 dollars an hour. That made a profit of over 3 quarters of a million dollars. The boss then
Would boats that he save the company over 800 thousand dollars.
In turn for this neat trick he receives a 2 dollar raise.
His lust for money has now become a sin for he has sacrificed the welfare of his fellow man. He has prostituted himself for some money and screwed and fed on his employees.
Gen 3:16
To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your labor pains; with pain you will give birth to children. You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you.”
We talked a bit. We debated a bit. We argued a bit. And then I pointed to him that the cost of living ate away at the employee’s income to the point that they could not longer tithe. That with out tithe the church could not perform any of the community functions and assistance programs.
He said he did not care about that and that was a church problem not a business problem.
Lev 26:21
“‘If you walk in hostility against me and are not willing to obey me, I will increase your affliction seven times according to your sins.
So I smacked him. Hard. In the face. Like a pimp would smack a whore that talked back. He cried "why did you do that?"
"Because” I bellowed "sir you have offended me and my god." and I stood,
Exo 32:31
So Moses returned to the Lord and said, “Alas, this people has committed a very serious
sin, and they have made for themselves gods of gold.
I grabbed him by the hair and dragged his fat pompous, pampered, spoiled ass to the ring and I tossed him to the ropes.
Wha.. what are you doing? Fear welling up in his eyes so fast his eyes looked like Speed Racers eyes, all anime and big.
I am going to show you to god and I am going to let god judge you and teach you a lesson.
Ba ba but I already go to a church.
When we are done you will have your pastor.... Father... very well your father come down and I will talk to him about his teachings he is giving you for you are a sinful man with not desire to repent and concern for your fellow man.
1Co 6:8
But you yourselves wrong and cheat, and you do this to your brothers and sisters!
I tossed him the 12 ounce gloves and said “you look like a fit man you work out right?”
“Yeah”
“Ok then I will give you an edge. You get the 12 ounce gloves and I will use the 5 ounce
gloves.”
“No I think..”
“No I think that if you do not get in the ring you will go to hell today. I am trying to save your soul you dumb shit! Now get the god damn gloves on and get into the ring.”
“But....”
“No you do not see. I will start saving your soul right here right now with my bare hands.”
He took the gloves and climbed into the ring.
He put the gloves on while I grabbed my gloves and turned on some heavy metal music.
I climbed into the ring and while I was putting the gloves on I looked down that the laces and he came up and landed one seriously square upper cut.
I went sprawling back into the ropes.
He charged and lifted his right to drill a punch into my face.
I came up with my foot and kicked him right in the crotch. [Laugh Out Loud]
You should have felt the air move when he sucked his breath in. Man alive, it was like I was in the center of a tornado.
He doubled over and he fell down to the mat.
I finished putting my gloves on.
I grabbed his head with both hands and lifted him to his feet. He looked like a new man.
He looked innocent and bewildered. It was obvious that this fuckwad had never felt pain, real pain in his life.
Jer 25:15
So the Lord, the God of Israel, spoke to me in a vision. “Take this cup from my hand. It is filled with the wine of my wrath. Take it and make the nations to whom I send you drink it.
I asked him if he could breath
He nodded
I reached back for the haymaker and I let it connect to the left side of his face.
He spun and fell face down.
He laid there with his feet pointed back. But he moved. I waited for him to roll over.
I helped him to his feet and I walloped him again.
He dropped to his knees and looked up. He was not seeing me. He was seeing the good lord at that moment.
He stared up at the sky light for 3 minutes and then he nodded twice
Gen 16:13
So Hagar named the Lord who spoke to her, “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “Here I have seen one who sees me!”
He babbled something in a whisper to someone that could not be seen and I began to tear up. For I know who he spoke to.
The warmth that flowed over me was joyous and wonderful. Everyone that was in the room at that moment felt the presence of the holy ghost.
He looked down at the mat and began weeping. "It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life." Spraying blood on the mat from B's F's and S's.
Hos 12:4
He struggled with an angel and prevailed; he wept and begged for his favor. He found God at Bethel, and there he spoke with him!
He looked at me and said. "I have been shown the light and I will make amends this very day."
Good, now you must also do a couple of things. The good lord wants you to get your boss down here for some education and I want you to tell your father/priest to come see me I want to educate your clergy.
I will be talking to this cleric in the next couple of weeks in an attempt to get our denominations to become more cohesive and consistent on our teachings.
Remember that every Friday night the boys and the girls compete in the ring. Any concession and door money generated goes to assisting their ministry and building them a much larger center.
The teen minister and I have been talking about have live bands for their entertainment and maybe hosting a dance on Saturdays so that all that youthful energy can be spent someplace that can assist them in learning the right decisions.
The Knights of Acrimony are offering a special invitation to all to witness at their ceremony this Tuesday. They are inducting 3 new members into their order and this will be the only time anyone can be a part with out being a member. The ceremony is truly a blessed ceremony and always a wonderful moment when a new knight is inducted.
In the foyer the SMMR single mothers making reparations have put together a continental breakfast for everyone in appreciation and also a way to thank all the men that helped them out over the past couple months.
I give up on you all and the parking lot. I do not know what to do about all of you and your freaking attitudes. Today I want everyone to look to the person next to you on both sides and say I am sorry for the rudeness I am about to impart on you in the parking lot.
Amen
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Mar 7:22
adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.
Today I am going to tell a story and talk about greed.
We are under attack you and I. The rich want to get richer and they do not care about who they eat on the way. If are not rich you are in trouble.
Luk 12:15
Then he said to them, “Watch out and guard yourself from all types of greed, because one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”
2Pe 2:14
Their eyes, full of adultery, never stop sinning; they entice unstable people. They have trained their hearts for greed, these cursed children!
They can not buy their way into the real estate purchase of an after-lifetime. the priceless lot you secure today will only appreciate even more. The cost was nothing but your promise to live your life for the lord. And listen to his teachings.
Jud 1:11
Woe to them! For they have traveled down Cain’s path, and because of greed have abandoned themselves to Balaam’s error; hence, they will certainly perish in Korah’s rebellion.
Last Thursday I was privileged to baptize a members supervisor. This dumb piece of shit was paying his employees just enough that the employees could barely eek out an existence but just enough that the employees did not want to loose their vested time by looking else where.
I sat this boss down and we talked about it and all it came down to was that he saw that if skimmed on 1 dollar an hour raise across the board he could see a profit of 1000 dollars an hour. That made a profit of over 3 quarters of a million dollars. The boss then
Would boats that he save the company over 800 thousand dollars.
In turn for this neat trick he receives a 2 dollar raise.
His lust for money has now become a sin for he has sacrificed the welfare of his fellow man. He has prostituted himself for some money and screwed and fed on his employees.
Gen 3:16
To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your labor pains; with pain you will give birth to children. You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you.”
We talked a bit. We debated a bit. We argued a bit. And then I pointed to him that the cost of living ate away at the employee’s income to the point that they could not longer tithe. That with out tithe the church could not perform any of the community functions and assistance programs.
He said he did not care about that and that was a church problem not a business problem.
Lev 26:21
“‘If you walk in hostility against me and are not willing to obey me, I will increase your affliction seven times according to your sins.
So I smacked him. Hard. In the face. Like a pimp would smack a whore that talked back. He cried "why did you do that?"
"Because” I bellowed "sir you have offended me and my god." and I stood,
Exo 32:31
So Moses returned to the Lord and said, “Alas, this people has committed a very serious
sin, and they have made for themselves gods of gold.
I grabbed him by the hair and dragged his fat pompous, pampered, spoiled ass to the ring and I tossed him to the ropes.
Wha.. what are you doing? Fear welling up in his eyes so fast his eyes looked like Speed Racers eyes, all anime and big.
I am going to show you to god and I am going to let god judge you and teach you a lesson.
Ba ba but I already go to a church.
When we are done you will have your pastor.... Father... very well your father come down and I will talk to him about his teachings he is giving you for you are a sinful man with not desire to repent and concern for your fellow man.
1Co 6:8
But you yourselves wrong and cheat, and you do this to your brothers and sisters!
I tossed him the 12 ounce gloves and said “you look like a fit man you work out right?”
“Yeah”
“Ok then I will give you an edge. You get the 12 ounce gloves and I will use the 5 ounce
gloves.”
“No I think..”
“No I think that if you do not get in the ring you will go to hell today. I am trying to save your soul you dumb shit! Now get the god damn gloves on and get into the ring.”
“But....”
“No you do not see. I will start saving your soul right here right now with my bare hands.”
He took the gloves and climbed into the ring.
He put the gloves on while I grabbed my gloves and turned on some heavy metal music.
I climbed into the ring and while I was putting the gloves on I looked down that the laces and he came up and landed one seriously square upper cut.
I went sprawling back into the ropes.
He charged and lifted his right to drill a punch into my face.
I came up with my foot and kicked him right in the crotch. [Laugh Out Loud]
You should have felt the air move when he sucked his breath in. Man alive, it was like I was in the center of a tornado.
He doubled over and he fell down to the mat.
I finished putting my gloves on.
I grabbed his head with both hands and lifted him to his feet. He looked like a new man.
He looked innocent and bewildered. It was obvious that this fuckwad had never felt pain, real pain in his life.
Jer 25:15
So the Lord, the God of Israel, spoke to me in a vision. “Take this cup from my hand. It is filled with the wine of my wrath. Take it and make the nations to whom I send you drink it.
I asked him if he could breath
He nodded
I reached back for the haymaker and I let it connect to the left side of his face.
He spun and fell face down.
He laid there with his feet pointed back. But he moved. I waited for him to roll over.
I helped him to his feet and I walloped him again.
He dropped to his knees and looked up. He was not seeing me. He was seeing the good lord at that moment.
He stared up at the sky light for 3 minutes and then he nodded twice
Gen 16:13
So Hagar named the Lord who spoke to her, “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “Here I have seen one who sees me!”
He babbled something in a whisper to someone that could not be seen and I began to tear up. For I know who he spoke to.
The warmth that flowed over me was joyous and wonderful. Everyone that was in the room at that moment felt the presence of the holy ghost.
He looked down at the mat and began weeping. "It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life." Spraying blood on the mat from B's F's and S's.
Hos 12:4
He struggled with an angel and prevailed; he wept and begged for his favor. He found God at Bethel, and there he spoke with him!
He looked at me and said. "I have been shown the light and I will make amends this very day."
Good, now you must also do a couple of things. The good lord wants you to get your boss down here for some education and I want you to tell your father/priest to come see me I want to educate your clergy.
I will be talking to this cleric in the next couple of weeks in an attempt to get our denominations to become more cohesive and consistent on our teachings.
Remember that every Friday night the boys and the girls compete in the ring. Any concession and door money generated goes to assisting their ministry and building them a much larger center.
The teen minister and I have been talking about have live bands for their entertainment and maybe hosting a dance on Saturdays so that all that youthful energy can be spent someplace that can assist them in learning the right decisions.
The Knights of Acrimony are offering a special invitation to all to witness at their ceremony this Tuesday. They are inducting 3 new members into their order and this will be the only time anyone can be a part with out being a member. The ceremony is truly a blessed ceremony and always a wonderful moment when a new knight is inducted.
In the foyer the SMMR single mothers making reparations have put together a continental breakfast for everyone in appreciation and also a way to thank all the men that helped them out over the past couple months.
I give up on you all and the parking lot. I do not know what to do about all of you and your freaking attitudes. Today I want everyone to look to the person next to you on both sides and say I am sorry for the rudeness I am about to impart on you in the parking lot.
Amen
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Also reading
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..
I have a condition
So I have a story to tell you all.
I was a bad kid when I was younger. I did things that no one can understand unless they have been there. And those that have been there are usually dead or they will not talk about it. And so not to do those things I did different things.
And I am not going to talk about any of it except that I am going to say that one day a terrible terrible tragedy befell me and I was in a predicament that one talks to god in all earnest. And these stories are told all the time if the person experiencing them lives to tell the tale and witness.
So today I am going to witness
I was staring down the barrel of a gun one day and I knew I was going to die I knew this because I was going to pull the trigger. I was going to me my killer. I was going to right many injustices. This was not suicide nothing even close to it. I was going to be my judge jury and executioner. I had done some things that people are killed for and I was not going to do them any more.
I was there looking into the black hole that is the barrel of the shotgun and I was going over my crimes. all of them every single one because I carry them around with me and every day I wake I sit on the edge of my bed and I first go over my crimes and then I go over my list of hated people. This list is short because if I am to go over this list I do not want to go over much.
The list of crimes range from felonies to misdemeanors to crimes against nature and my fellow man.
That day I was putting my self on trial.
And I had no defense except I was just trying to survive.
So I had finished the case and I decided that I should be put down. And I pleaded with god to please stop this and let me live and god spoke to me. He said that the fact I was talking to him and that I was about to try myself for my crimes meant that I was repentant and that he forgave me.
He told me to become a witness and to spread the word through my ministry in my way. And then he touched my hands.
So every year about this time in April I have these markings on my hands they last about three days and they are gone.
I do not know and I do not talk about it with anyone.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
I was a bad kid when I was younger. I did things that no one can understand unless they have been there. And those that have been there are usually dead or they will not talk about it. And so not to do those things I did different things.
And I am not going to talk about any of it except that I am going to say that one day a terrible terrible tragedy befell me and I was in a predicament that one talks to god in all earnest. And these stories are told all the time if the person experiencing them lives to tell the tale and witness.
So today I am going to witness
I was staring down the barrel of a gun one day and I knew I was going to die I knew this because I was going to pull the trigger. I was going to me my killer. I was going to right many injustices. This was not suicide nothing even close to it. I was going to be my judge jury and executioner. I had done some things that people are killed for and I was not going to do them any more.
I was there looking into the black hole that is the barrel of the shotgun and I was going over my crimes. all of them every single one because I carry them around with me and every day I wake I sit on the edge of my bed and I first go over my crimes and then I go over my list of hated people. This list is short because if I am to go over this list I do not want to go over much.
The list of crimes range from felonies to misdemeanors to crimes against nature and my fellow man.
That day I was putting my self on trial.
And I had no defense except I was just trying to survive.
So I had finished the case and I decided that I should be put down. And I pleaded with god to please stop this and let me live and god spoke to me. He said that the fact I was talking to him and that I was about to try myself for my crimes meant that I was repentant and that he forgave me.
He told me to become a witness and to spread the word through my ministry in my way. And then he touched my hands.
So every year about this time in April I have these markings on my hands they last about three days and they are gone.
I do not know and I do not talk about it with anyone.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Also reading
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..
10 albums to fuck your head up to
Mr. Jones challenged my self to list 10 albums
Here they are in no order and probably fucked up anyways
Rob Zombie - Hellbilly Deluxe i do not know why i listen but i do and i listen at max volume in the can and i find my self screaming the lyrics at the light.
Black Flag - Jealous again. angry fucking angry, fast because thats what gets us off and short because that is how long the inspiration lasts
CRASS - Christ The Album. experimental, communal, nearly a religious experience for me at the time but now i think my hearing loss has increased because i can not see it any more
Bozo Porno Circus - Sins Of The New Flesh DVD some very weird fucking odd shit happens here and i all i can saw is that i would have never explored this genre had it not be by accident at textamerica.com
Motorhead - Ace of Spades You know i was born to lose and gambling's for fools but thats the way i like it you can not live for ever
Lewd - American Wino i had the biggest crush on the bass player and tried many time to be a groupie but always always failed to make the hookup.
Beastie Boys - Time To Get Ill. WTF can be said sharp witty funny and the best anthem to ever be written
ACDC - Back In Black although at the release of this album i hated the band and anything to do with these guys because their followers were always trying to run me down beat me up or they were just fucking with me too much of the time.
Tales Of Terror - Tales Of Terror although I was not in the band but this was a very strong influence on my life. I realized on their return from a US tour that things have changed and that drugs were a very very bad thing to fuck with.
Wire - Pink Flag odd weird and rough and raw loved the album so much i stole it from someone
Eater - The Album you know i saw this in my collection. i do not own a turntable so i can not listen any more so i sold it. This was one of the few that went out that i kind of regret even though i can not recall a single audio memory. Note - fire up Google tonight and look for some mp3s
Tank - Filth Hounds of Hades What can I say "Hated you for far too long, you're just so damn polite"
The Damned - Damned Damned Damned. With headphones on many hours listening to this so that the memories of how horrible my life was drowned out.
Here they are in no order and probably fucked up anyways
Rob Zombie - Hellbilly Deluxe i do not know why i listen but i do and i listen at max volume in the can and i find my self screaming the lyrics at the light.
Black Flag - Jealous again. angry fucking angry, fast because thats what gets us off and short because that is how long the inspiration lasts
CRASS - Christ The Album. experimental, communal, nearly a religious experience for me at the time but now i think my hearing loss has increased because i can not see it any more
Bozo Porno Circus - Sins Of The New Flesh DVD some very weird fucking odd shit happens here and i all i can saw is that i would have never explored this genre had it not be by accident at textamerica.com
Motorhead - Ace of Spades You know i was born to lose and gambling's for fools but thats the way i like it you can not live for ever
Lewd - American Wino i had the biggest crush on the bass player and tried many time to be a groupie but always always failed to make the hookup.
Beastie Boys - Time To Get Ill. WTF can be said sharp witty funny and the best anthem to ever be written
ACDC - Back In Black although at the release of this album i hated the band and anything to do with these guys because their followers were always trying to run me down beat me up or they were just fucking with me too much of the time.
Tales Of Terror - Tales Of Terror although I was not in the band but this was a very strong influence on my life. I realized on their return from a US tour that things have changed and that drugs were a very very bad thing to fuck with.
Wire - Pink Flag odd weird and rough and raw loved the album so much i stole it from someone
Eater - The Album you know i saw this in my collection. i do not own a turntable so i can not listen any more so i sold it. This was one of the few that went out that i kind of regret even though i can not recall a single audio memory. Note - fire up Google tonight and look for some mp3s
Tank - Filth Hounds of Hades What can I say "Hated you for far too long, you're just so damn polite"
The Damned - Damned Damned Damned. With headphones on many hours listening to this so that the memories of how horrible my life was drowned out.
| Currently reading Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007 |
Memories and darker places
I was touching bad memories and evoking disturbing emotions the other day and thought that hey this ruined my Sunday how about I ruin everybody’s Tuesday. I am sorry but this is a bit of therapy for me and I now think I can start putting this to down I a tangable format.
I remember lying in bed at night praying that I would get to sleep before they got home. She would be too drunk to occupy him and once she fell asleep and he found me awake....well never mind that horror show. But I remember lying in bed thinking that there has to be a better place than this. Some place that did not hurt. Some place that was warm and nothing was threatening.
I used to think that I could remember a time when that was true. That if I squinted just right and pulled on the edges of my young memory I could see my real dad and my mom smiling and the sun out and there is a fish on the end of my line on my bamboo pole.
I remember laughing at my mom running from the fish as I pulled it out of the water too fast. I remember my dad, my real dad and how brave he was grabbing the squirming flopping fish without hesitation and pulling the hook out of the mouth that made the OH but never spoke.
Another time
I remember the principle coming to my house. I felt so proud when I opened the door and he was there. Man he seemed tall in the door way.
I remember the smile he greeted me with. I remember my mother asking if I was in trouble and him laughing and saying "John? Heavens no."
Then my square headed “Frankenstein” step dad coming in from the back yard and grumbling "who is this"
And my principle introduced him self.
My mother asking if he would like a drink or something. And he said that would not be necessary.
I got embarrassed then because principles do not eat or drink anything, and this must be a special occasion for him to leave school. Man, Mom you had to have known that!
My step father demanding to know why he was here.
He said 'he was here to talk about john'
I was told to go to my room.
I heard the principle say that last week there was test and
The dip shit failed...
No..... I shut the door.
There was murmuring and laughter
Then I heard my step father yelling and then I heard a slap
Then I heard my name being called
And I came out and I was asked what my name was and I told him “John Sleestaxx”.
My mother just sat there with her hand on her cheek and the principle sat there uncomfortable looking at his shoes.
Then my step father said, "there you go he's a Sleestaxx and there is no way a Sleestaxx is smart his real daddy is stupid and he is too.
You made a mistake and I want you all at the school to forget it. There will be no more tests for him and you will leave him in the class he is in." Leave me in my class? Man I must have really failed bad. They wanted to put me back into third grade.
I was glad about that because Miss Meyers was pretty and I liked being in her class.
Mom just sat there as the principle got up, looked at me and smiled, and said that he was sorry for intruding. He shook my hand and I remember my hand just disappearing in his.
And then my step father said that he had overstayed his welcome.
The principle said that he was sorry again and left.
The door closed and I wondered what had happened
I asked my mom as she got up to make dinner "why did Mr. Steiner come over?"
But she said that it was mistake and my stepfather said, "You know Johnny you are just a Sleestaxx and if you were special your daddy would have you at his house with his new wife and kids."
At that moment I knew my step father was right. If I was special I would be with my father, he would have kept me. I would not be here.
But that is as far too happy or proud as I ever get.
I can not recall anything happy about my child hood from that point on.
Just dodging the drunk and the angry mom.
I remember lying in bed at night praying that I would get to sleep before they got home. She would be too drunk to occupy him and once she fell asleep and he found me awake....well never mind that horror show. But I remember lying in bed thinking that there has to be a better place than this. Some place that did not hurt. Some place that was warm and nothing was threatening.
I used to think that I could remember a time when that was true. That if I squinted just right and pulled on the edges of my young memory I could see my real dad and my mom smiling and the sun out and there is a fish on the end of my line on my bamboo pole.
I remember laughing at my mom running from the fish as I pulled it out of the water too fast. I remember my dad, my real dad and how brave he was grabbing the squirming flopping fish without hesitation and pulling the hook out of the mouth that made the OH but never spoke.
Another time
I remember the principle coming to my house. I felt so proud when I opened the door and he was there. Man he seemed tall in the door way.
I remember the smile he greeted me with. I remember my mother asking if I was in trouble and him laughing and saying "John? Heavens no."
Then my square headed “Frankenstein” step dad coming in from the back yard and grumbling "who is this"
And my principle introduced him self.
My mother asking if he would like a drink or something. And he said that would not be necessary.
I got embarrassed then because principles do not eat or drink anything, and this must be a special occasion for him to leave school. Man, Mom you had to have known that!
My step father demanding to know why he was here.
He said 'he was here to talk about john'
I was told to go to my room.
I heard the principle say that last week there was test and
The dip shit failed...
No..... I shut the door.
There was murmuring and laughter
Then I heard my step father yelling and then I heard a slap
Then I heard my name being called
And I came out and I was asked what my name was and I told him “John Sleestaxx”.
My mother just sat there with her hand on her cheek and the principle sat there uncomfortable looking at his shoes.
Then my step father said, "there you go he's a Sleestaxx and there is no way a Sleestaxx is smart his real daddy is stupid and he is too.
You made a mistake and I want you all at the school to forget it. There will be no more tests for him and you will leave him in the class he is in." Leave me in my class? Man I must have really failed bad. They wanted to put me back into third grade.
I was glad about that because Miss Meyers was pretty and I liked being in her class.
Mom just sat there as the principle got up, looked at me and smiled, and said that he was sorry for intruding. He shook my hand and I remember my hand just disappearing in his.
And then my step father said that he had overstayed his welcome.
The principle said that he was sorry again and left.
The door closed and I wondered what had happened
I asked my mom as she got up to make dinner "why did Mr. Steiner come over?"
But she said that it was mistake and my stepfather said, "You know Johnny you are just a Sleestaxx and if you were special your daddy would have you at his house with his new wife and kids."
At that moment I knew my step father was right. If I was special I would be with my father, he would have kept me. I would not be here.
But that is as far too happy or proud as I ever get.
I can not recall anything happy about my child hood from that point on.
Just dodging the drunk and the angry mom.
Anger Management
We need to celebrate anger, wallow in anger, and be angry. Somebody or some people made us angry why do we need to control this. It was their fault they need to figure out the whys and the hows.
"My anger management"
God made us in his image. God is an angry vengeful God.
Deu 29:23
The whole land will be covered with brimstone, salt, and burning debris; it will not be planted nor will it sprout or produce grass. It will resemble the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Admah and Zeboiim, which the Lord destroyed in his intense anger.
Holy crap! Brimstone! Salt!, Burning debris! Nothing will fucking grow!
Yes I would say that God is an angry Vengeful God. Why is my anger wrong then and why do I have to manage my anger? God does not attend group therapy. He smites those that have offended him!
Lev 26:21
If you walk in hostility against me and are not willing to obey me, I will increase your affliction seven times according to your sins.
Shit! Seven times according to your sins.
He states that we are to smite those that offend us or have taken a position against him! How can one smite another without anger?
Judges 15:6
So the Philistines went up and burned her and her father. Samson said to them, “Because you did this, I will get revenge against you before I quit fighting.” He struck them down and defeated them.
He later whoop their asses with just the jaw bone of a donkey. But mind you he was pissed they had killed his best girl and her father. They had offended him. No one said 'hey Samson, Dude, I can empathize with your feelings and I can see where you are coming from but this anger is not good. You should learn to control your anger, manage it.'
Yeah fucking right! God said here you should beat them down, whoop their girly asses with a bone, just a freakin’ bone. And that is exactly what Samson did! God gave him the strength to do so.
So why am I told that I have to control, quell and stop an emotion that is so close to God, so revered by God so encouraged by God? Because it is God's enemies that want me to be pacified, pussified, whimpified. The enemies of God want me controllable. Because, if I am controllable then they can control me. And that is what all this anger management shit is about.
I...nay we should not try to stop our anger or control our anger, we should wallow in it bath in the wondrous power of the felling of anger. We should celebrate the anger with parties and beatings and make total festivals for anger.
That is anger management! That is what we should do.
Let me share another passage with you...
Isa 5:25
So the Lord is furious with his people; he lifts his hand and strikes them. The mountains shake, and corpses lie like manure in the middle of the streets. Despite all this, his anger does not subside, and his hand is ready to strike again.
If we act on our righteous God given anger it will become stronger and better attuned. This is the anger management that God would want. This is the type of anger that God has. And we all know that the premise of worship and learning is to be more like God and the way that God wants us to be. So to better own the anger you should act on it, encourage it, train it to be there for you. This is anger management that is right with God and in Gods way.
Isa 9:17
So the sovereign master was not pleased with their young men, he took no pity on their orphans and widows; for the whole nation was godless and did wicked things, every mouth was speaking disgraceful words. Despite all this, his anger does not subside, and his hand is ready to strike again.
Again another example of God's anger being there when it was needed. We all know that our God is an angry God and a vengeful God. The bible has many lessons for us to read and take to heart.
Isa 13:9
Look, the Lord’s Day of judgment is coming; it is a day of cruelty and savage, raging anger, destroying the earth and annihilating its sinners.
"Annihilating its sinners." WOW! No seriously WOW! He is coming to kick their asses. And it is our duty to help the Lord when ever possible. But if we let them and their "anger management" and their "politically correctness" control our lives and the way we feel then we will not be ready to purge the earth of the unholy, unwashed, evil hordes that are the enemies of God. And this is their plan with the propaganda and the "oh we have to LOVE everybody" "We need to be more compassionate to our neighbors, especially our neighbors to the south."
NO! [HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] If the have offended me I do not have to be compassionate, I do not have to provide them health care when I can not provide health care to myself.
NO! [HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] If someone has pissed me off then I have the right to express that anger.
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] It is my anger. I own that anger
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] God gave me that anger
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] It is mine to do with what I want
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] Stop fucking telling me to manage it!
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] fucking manage this bitch! [Show the middle finger]
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] this is my right [hold the finger up again] and you will not take it from me!
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] you want to control something control your desire to control me
I will not be your patsy, I will not be your hey boy, I will not be your bitch!
I will make them pay for what they have done. Just as the Lord makes all sinners pay. Because it is my God given right.
Do not think that I am a man who will give up my fucking rights with out a fight. God would be very disappointed in me No all of us if we did not stand up for ourselves.
Think about it! If child is being bullied would you want him to let the bully own him or would you be proud of your child standing up for himself??
DAMN Skippy! You want him to be assertive, you want him to take what is his, it belongs to him he should have it!
God feels the same about us. We are his children and he wants us to succeed. We can not succeed if we are taken out of the game by weird rules, rules that the winners do not follow. Why do they not follow because the rules are only there to keep the competition down?
Get off your asses and compete. Get off your asses and find that middle finger and let that finger be seen. Show that you have a back bone. Use the jaw bone a donkey. That is what your middle finger is it is your donkey jaw bone. Beat their asses and take what is yours. Celebrate in your anger and be free from the evil that tries to bind.
Gen 20:9
Abimelech summoned Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? What sin did I commit against you that would cause you to bring such great guilt on me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should not be done!”
So I want to leave you with some things to think about. If you make someone angry realize that this is their feeling and you should ask for forgiveness, if they do not want to forgive you then that are just tough shit. You forked up and well what your back. If someone makes you mad then let them know they made you mad and that they should watch their back.
It is your feeling and they mad you feel it is their fucking fault.
Some items that need to be passed along.
Thursday baptismal beatings are still very popular and we are starting to have to reschedule some of the converts to another night. We will now hold the ring open earlier on Thursday no-one should have to wait to be right with the lord.
The teen’s club is beginning to flourish and become quite the place to be instead of cruzing, making babies, and doing drugs. The girls have their champion in the ring and she may have shot at taking the title from the boys. The girls keep trying every Friday night but they just need that little extra upmph.
The food bank is actually overflowing so if you are aware of any legal citizens, not H1B visas either I mean Real Americans have them contact Judy McFugly for assistance.
Now lets us turn to our neighbor and show them the finger. HA HA ha
"My anger management"
God made us in his image. God is an angry vengeful God.
Deu 29:23
The whole land will be covered with brimstone, salt, and burning debris; it will not be planted nor will it sprout or produce grass. It will resemble the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Admah and Zeboiim, which the Lord destroyed in his intense anger.
Holy crap! Brimstone! Salt!, Burning debris! Nothing will fucking grow!
Yes I would say that God is an angry Vengeful God. Why is my anger wrong then and why do I have to manage my anger? God does not attend group therapy. He smites those that have offended him!
Lev 26:21
If you walk in hostility against me and are not willing to obey me, I will increase your affliction seven times according to your sins.
Shit! Seven times according to your sins.
He states that we are to smite those that offend us or have taken a position against him! How can one smite another without anger?
Judges 15:6
So the Philistines went up and burned her and her father. Samson said to them, “Because you did this, I will get revenge against you before I quit fighting.” He struck them down and defeated them.
He later whoop their asses with just the jaw bone of a donkey. But mind you he was pissed they had killed his best girl and her father. They had offended him. No one said 'hey Samson, Dude, I can empathize with your feelings and I can see where you are coming from but this anger is not good. You should learn to control your anger, manage it.'
Yeah fucking right! God said here you should beat them down, whoop their girly asses with a bone, just a freakin’ bone. And that is exactly what Samson did! God gave him the strength to do so.
So why am I told that I have to control, quell and stop an emotion that is so close to God, so revered by God so encouraged by God? Because it is God's enemies that want me to be pacified, pussified, whimpified. The enemies of God want me controllable. Because, if I am controllable then they can control me. And that is what all this anger management shit is about.
I...nay we should not try to stop our anger or control our anger, we should wallow in it bath in the wondrous power of the felling of anger. We should celebrate the anger with parties and beatings and make total festivals for anger.
That is anger management! That is what we should do.
Let me share another passage with you...
Isa 5:25
So the Lord is furious with his people; he lifts his hand and strikes them. The mountains shake, and corpses lie like manure in the middle of the streets. Despite all this, his anger does not subside, and his hand is ready to strike again.
If we act on our righteous God given anger it will become stronger and better attuned. This is the anger management that God would want. This is the type of anger that God has. And we all know that the premise of worship and learning is to be more like God and the way that God wants us to be. So to better own the anger you should act on it, encourage it, train it to be there for you. This is anger management that is right with God and in Gods way.
Isa 9:17
So the sovereign master was not pleased with their young men, he took no pity on their orphans and widows; for the whole nation was godless and did wicked things, every mouth was speaking disgraceful words. Despite all this, his anger does not subside, and his hand is ready to strike again.
Again another example of God's anger being there when it was needed. We all know that our God is an angry God and a vengeful God. The bible has many lessons for us to read and take to heart.
Isa 13:9
Look, the Lord’s Day of judgment is coming; it is a day of cruelty and savage, raging anger, destroying the earth and annihilating its sinners.
"Annihilating its sinners." WOW! No seriously WOW! He is coming to kick their asses. And it is our duty to help the Lord when ever possible. But if we let them and their "anger management" and their "politically correctness" control our lives and the way we feel then we will not be ready to purge the earth of the unholy, unwashed, evil hordes that are the enemies of God. And this is their plan with the propaganda and the "oh we have to LOVE everybody" "We need to be more compassionate to our neighbors, especially our neighbors to the south."
NO! [HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] If the have offended me I do not have to be compassionate, I do not have to provide them health care when I can not provide health care to myself.
NO! [HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] If someone has pissed me off then I have the right to express that anger.
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] It is my anger. I own that anger
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] God gave me that anger
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] It is mine to do with what I want
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] Stop fucking telling me to manage it!
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] fucking manage this bitch! [Show the middle finger]
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] this is my right [hold the finger up again] and you will not take it from me!
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] you want to control something control your desire to control me
I will not be your patsy, I will not be your hey boy, I will not be your bitch!
I will make them pay for what they have done. Just as the Lord makes all sinners pay. Because it is my God given right.
Do not think that I am a man who will give up my fucking rights with out a fight. God would be very disappointed in me No all of us if we did not stand up for ourselves.
Think about it! If child is being bullied would you want him to let the bully own him or would you be proud of your child standing up for himself??
DAMN Skippy! You want him to be assertive, you want him to take what is his, it belongs to him he should have it!
God feels the same about us. We are his children and he wants us to succeed. We can not succeed if we are taken out of the game by weird rules, rules that the winners do not follow. Why do they not follow because the rules are only there to keep the competition down?
Get off your asses and compete. Get off your asses and find that middle finger and let that finger be seen. Show that you have a back bone. Use the jaw bone a donkey. That is what your middle finger is it is your donkey jaw bone. Beat their asses and take what is yours. Celebrate in your anger and be free from the evil that tries to bind.
Gen 20:9
Abimelech summoned Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? What sin did I commit against you that would cause you to bring such great guilt on me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should not be done!”
So I want to leave you with some things to think about. If you make someone angry realize that this is their feeling and you should ask for forgiveness, if they do not want to forgive you then that are just tough shit. You forked up and well what your back. If someone makes you mad then let them know they made you mad and that they should watch their back.
It is your feeling and they mad you feel it is their fucking fault.
Some items that need to be passed along.
Thursday baptismal beatings are still very popular and we are starting to have to reschedule some of the converts to another night. We will now hold the ring open earlier on Thursday no-one should have to wait to be right with the lord.
The teen’s club is beginning to flourish and become quite the place to be instead of cruzing, making babies, and doing drugs. The girls have their champion in the ring and she may have shot at taking the title from the boys. The girls keep trying every Friday night but they just need that little extra upmph.
The food bank is actually overflowing so if you are aware of any legal citizens, not H1B visas either I mean Real Americans have them contact Judy McFugly for assistance.
Now lets us turn to our neighbor and show them the finger. HA HA ha
Pink You Ignorant Slut!
This is total liberal celebrity crap. Let me ask you bitch what do you do for the fucking homeless?? What do you do to support the troops? What are you doing to help make the world a better place?? Yeah that is what I fucking thought! you are out to get what you can for pink and you will use what ever you can to get it! You use your celeb status to take a few fucking shots at a job that is always ridiculed by everybody. I would like to your pansy pampered ass do the job. Making the tough decisions that need to be made, I would like to see you make the decision to storm another country and disrupt their economy and then find that the old wood administration had dropped the fucking ball and you made a mistake. He admitted that there was a mistake we all know that he made the best decision based on the best data he had at the time.
What would you have done when the fuckers dropped the towers?? ' now that is not right you guys you all should stop that rough play before more people get hurt.' yeah fucking right! How about when you were given the information that some crazy person had dangerous weapons and was know to attack other countries?? 'Now Saddam you really need to find the inner child and learn to love everybody.'
Why don't you stick to making bubble gum records, and trying to look hardcore. And leave the politics to the rest of the world that really cares. You do not care, your real concern is, am I getting paid? Who is stealing from me? And when do I get to eat? when did you wake up and say 'you know what I have the cash to help out 1000+ people by donating to habitat for humanity and I will swing a hammer for a week to build a few homes.' No you meet with some people and you eat lunch and you talk shit about some people.
Now I know you worked hard to get where you are and to do the things you do and want to do. But the president asked to have the job of running the country, asked to make the toughest decisions in the country and in the worlds best interest, and we as a group said yeah go ahead. Now when the decisions are made there are the pussies that want to complain, and cash in on his job right or wrong better or worse. why don't you take your fucking pop album divide it up by the number of songs and take the "GROSS" percentage of that one song and donate that to a charity that will help the homeless, the war displaced, the hungry children of the single mothers who made bad decisions and had babies that they should have not had yet. then you and your record company can then split the remainder for the costs and royalties.....
Yeah I thought not, you fucking, greedy, bitch fucker, spit in your face, whore, duce bag, fake, wanna be human!
kasdbfpiqwbfiyqwisjbdefash aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Bring Your Best Game Bitch
Moron Coaches
Game 7
No real close plays but may be one or two.
My partner was spot on an all of his calls. He was taking his time to make the call. In fact he was making a point to be slow to ensure the calls were right.
After the game the first base coach came up to us on the way out and said to my partner.
You know I have also umpired and I know how hard it is to do the job right. By you really were not in position to make many of the calls. You should......"
"Coach" I say "if you were an umpire in the past then you know how foolish you are sounding to us right now at this moment."
And we exit the field
One statement made under his breath
"That was very rude."
I turned and said "No COACH that was not rude that was some free advice from one umpire to another." and I smiled very friendly/crazy and we turned.
No real close plays but may be one or two.
My partner was spot on an all of his calls. He was taking his time to make the call. In fact he was making a point to be slow to ensure the calls were right.
After the game the first base coach came up to us on the way out and said to my partner.
You know I have also umpired and I know how hard it is to do the job right. By you really were not in position to make many of the calls. You should......"
"Coach" I say "if you were an umpire in the past then you know how foolish you are sounding to us right now at this moment."
And we exit the field
One statement made under his breath
"That was very rude."
I turned and said "No COACH that was not rude that was some free advice from one umpire to another." and I smiled very friendly/crazy and we turned.
Humasn are evil
I umpire youth baseball. If you have ever doubted the human race, do that (umpire) for a few games. Every time I think the human race is a decent species I end up with a team that reminds me that we as a species are inherently evil and there can be no doubt about the fact that we killed the missing link and ate their remains. We would eat the children of our neighbors if we thought no one was looking.
Trust me, your co-worker is right now plotting your death, and the guy in the car next to you on the way home tonight is imagining what it would be like to bath in your blood and rape your entire family line.
Fuck them all.
Human race is not civilized at all. We are able to use verbal indicators to convince ourselves that we care about everyone else.
We do not care about anyone else; we only want to find a way to take what does not belong to us. "Fuck everyone else man, it is all about what I can do for myself."
here let me piss in your mouth and tell you its
medicine.
You all who think that if you do the right thing and stay the straight and narrow, toe the company line that you will be rewarded. Did you not hear about the Enron fuckers. Jesus they raped the entire market, they raped the entire work force, and they get way. They fake their death and live in Brazil. fuck fuck fuck fuck you fucking spit in your mouth and stick you in the ribs with a plastic butter Knife. ahhhhhhhhhhhhrhrrrrrrrrgggggggg
ja;jklebnsfaJKLQBWF'[UIOQHAJIOSBHDF;AJBSDABNSDIPUGAS;KFNDPAISUBF;IASEDF
DAMN IT AND DAMN YOU ALL FUCK YOU FUCK YOU ALL hahahahahahahah YOU are all fucking yourselves and you all do not care.
One day a terrible rain will come and wash all the trash, dirt, and shit from the streets. Then the world will be made clean and righteous, just as God intended. The meek will not be there though as they will have been eaten and shat out as so much refuse and waste.
Trust me, your co-worker is right now plotting your death, and the guy in the car next to you on the way home tonight is imagining what it would be like to bath in your blood and rape your entire family line.
Fuck them all.
Human race is not civilized at all. We are able to use verbal indicators to convince ourselves that we care about everyone else.
We do not care about anyone else; we only want to find a way to take what does not belong to us. "Fuck everyone else man, it is all about what I can do for myself."
here let me piss in your mouth and tell you its
medicine.
You all who think that if you do the right thing and stay the straight and narrow, toe the company line that you will be rewarded. Did you not hear about the Enron fuckers. Jesus they raped the entire market, they raped the entire work force, and they get way. They fake their death and live in Brazil. fuck fuck fuck fuck you fucking spit in your mouth and stick you in the ribs with a plastic butter Knife. ahhhhhhhhhhhhrhrrrrrrrrgggggggg
ja;jklebnsfaJKLQBWF'[UIOQHAJIOSBHDF;AJBSDABNSDIPUGAS;KFNDPAISUBF;IASEDF
DAMN IT AND DAMN YOU ALL FUCK YOU FUCK YOU ALL hahahahahahahah YOU are all fucking yourselves and you all do not care.
One day a terrible rain will come and wash all the trash, dirt, and shit from the streets. Then the world will be made clean and righteous, just as God intended. The meek will not be there though as they will have been eaten and shat out as so much refuse and waste.
A boy with Down syndrome is at the park with his father. They walk by a baseball field and the boy stops to watch the other boys play a close game of baseball. The boy is speaking to his father about how he would like to play and his father is explaining that the game had already started and that the game was too close to have him join in. The boys playing over hear dad and ask the boy to join in the game.
The score is still very close and the boy is on the "on deck circle". The boy sees the cleats on the boy that just struck out, making the outs two with a tie score.
The boy begins to scream that he wants the spiky shoes too. Left field offers to let the boy borrow his and he'll play bare foot for the last out.
The pitcher lobs the ball across the plate for the boy to hit. The boy drills one into the pitchers ball side wrist shattering every bone and piece of cartilage. Short stop fields the ball cleanly and takes his time to throw the ball to first. As he does the throw goes errant, a little over the first baseman's head. First base then stretches and leans back to reach for the ball and as the first baseman misses the ball the boy stomps on first baseman's right ankle snapping it at the joint.
Right field, who has always thought he should be allowed to play third, notices at that instant that there is a fuzzy caterpillar in the grass at his feet, and holy cow look 7 lady bugs all in one place. How weird is that?
The boy rounds towards second as the catcher picks up the overthrown ball and throws towards second who is still looking at the first baseman's right angle ankle. The ball hits the second baseman in the temple and he drops like a sack of laundry.
The runner now touches second and begins to head to third as the short stop retrieves the ball and throws to third who is preparing for a tag. Third moves into the tag position and receives the ball and starts to throw the tag as the boy drops into a slide. The boy raises a foot and slams it into the third baseman’s groin rupturing his left testicle causing him to drop the ball.
The boy pops up and begins toward home as short again retrieves the ball and throws to home.
The catcher closes the gate as the ball and boy converge at the plate. The boys drops into a text book figure four slide and collides with the catcher's shins, hyper extending both of the catchers knees, tearing the meniscus and ACL of both of his young joints. The catcher falls back like a 300 foot redwood.
The boy touches home, gets up, kicks clay into the crying eyes of the catcher and yells to the field, "You have just been schooled by a retard."
The first baseman who is now permanently crippled sues the city and wins.
The father of the second baseman begins to drink heavily and one night drives his car into a house. The family that lived in the house wins a multi-million dollar lawsuit over the death of a cat, two gold fish, and a hamster. The depressed and despondent mother testifies as a vice president of a large tobacco company, that the tobacco industry has known forever about the cancer and addiction and still produced dangerous products to the public with malice. The attorneys receive 100 billion dollars and the rest of everyone who felt they were injured by cigarettes and tobacco received coupons for free tobacco products and plenty of public service announcements every 13 minutes.
The family of the third baseman started a foundation for the children of one nutted third basemen. The boy was made president and now receives 500,000 dollar yearly salary.
The catcher is a mechanic in service station in a small town in Arizona
The short stop lives in the Dallas-Fort worth area and can be regularly seen on johntv.com with prostitutes.
The score is still very close and the boy is on the "on deck circle". The boy sees the cleats on the boy that just struck out, making the outs two with a tie score.
The boy begins to scream that he wants the spiky shoes too. Left field offers to let the boy borrow his and he'll play bare foot for the last out.
The pitcher lobs the ball across the plate for the boy to hit. The boy drills one into the pitchers ball side wrist shattering every bone and piece of cartilage. Short stop fields the ball cleanly and takes his time to throw the ball to first. As he does the throw goes errant, a little over the first baseman's head. First base then stretches and leans back to reach for the ball and as the first baseman misses the ball the boy stomps on first baseman's right ankle snapping it at the joint.
Right field, who has always thought he should be allowed to play third, notices at that instant that there is a fuzzy caterpillar in the grass at his feet, and holy cow look 7 lady bugs all in one place. How weird is that?
The boy rounds towards second as the catcher picks up the overthrown ball and throws towards second who is still looking at the first baseman's right angle ankle. The ball hits the second baseman in the temple and he drops like a sack of laundry.
The runner now touches second and begins to head to third as the short stop retrieves the ball and throws to third who is preparing for a tag. Third moves into the tag position and receives the ball and starts to throw the tag as the boy drops into a slide. The boy raises a foot and slams it into the third baseman’s groin rupturing his left testicle causing him to drop the ball.
The boy pops up and begins toward home as short again retrieves the ball and throws to home.
The catcher closes the gate as the ball and boy converge at the plate. The boys drops into a text book figure four slide and collides with the catcher's shins, hyper extending both of the catchers knees, tearing the meniscus and ACL of both of his young joints. The catcher falls back like a 300 foot redwood.
The boy touches home, gets up, kicks clay into the crying eyes of the catcher and yells to the field, "You have just been schooled by a retard."
The first baseman who is now permanently crippled sues the city and wins.
The father of the second baseman begins to drink heavily and one night drives his car into a house. The family that lived in the house wins a multi-million dollar lawsuit over the death of a cat, two gold fish, and a hamster. The depressed and despondent mother testifies as a vice president of a large tobacco company, that the tobacco industry has known forever about the cancer and addiction and still produced dangerous products to the public with malice. The attorneys receive 100 billion dollars and the rest of everyone who felt they were injured by cigarettes and tobacco received coupons for free tobacco products and plenty of public service announcements every 13 minutes.
The family of the third baseman started a foundation for the children of one nutted third basemen. The boy was made president and now receives 500,000 dollar yearly salary.
The catcher is a mechanic in service station in a small town in Arizona
The short stop lives in the Dallas-Fort worth area and can be regularly seen on johntv.com with prostitutes.
81162-070821-728752-51
© 2007 All Rights Reserved.
Chrome not good enough for products ......
Since we are not allowed to use chromium ON our products lets have everybody eat it so that the chromium market can stay afloat.
See you in hell Rev. Falwell
I am surprised that this pinheads death did not generate a response sooner from me. I know I have busy with other fucked up things in my poor miserable outhouse of a life that I could have not even noticed that this puissant died
Libertystudent arrested with homemade bombs
Ha HA what do you expect, this man was a fucktard on TV he pissed off many with his pussy soap box antics. He shafted the Bakers and then was found to cavorting with prostitutes and drugs. He was rumored to be a pornographer for the mob. It has been said that his 700 club that he stole from Jim and Tammy Baker was a laundry mat for drug money both stateside and foreign. I would not doubt he was involved with the Iran contra shit either. This was a hypocritical man, that, well, is not fit to feed the worms and now we have a large group of like minded individuals in the same place, which believed his whinny bullshit crap about 911 being the fault of fucking gays. Yeah uh o k sure Jerry what ever you say you dumb turd. His Evangelical communist propaganda was border line fascism. If you do not believe in MY GOD then you are the enemy. And as the enemy I will crush you with lies and brut force blackmail and then take every fucking thing you own. Spit spit fuck you Jerry what’s the fucking weather like down there you cunt! Farewell Falwell see you in hell. BITCH! Ha look at that kid, he has gay written all over his psychotic face.
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