By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.
Today I am going to tell a story and talk about greed.
We are under attack you and I. The rich want to get richer and they do not care about who they eat on the way. If are not rich you are in trouble.
Then he said to them, “Watch out and guard yourself from all types of greed, because one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”
Their eyes, full of adultery, never stop sinning; they entice unstable people. They have trained their hearts for greed, these cursed children!
They can not buy their way into the real estate purchase of an after-lifetime. the priceless lot you secure today will only appreciate even more. The cost was nothing but your promise to live your life for the lord. And listen to his teachings.
Woe to them! For they have traveled down Cain’s path, and because of greed have abandoned themselves to Balaam’s error; hence, they will certainly perish in Korah’s rebellion.
Last Thursday I was privileged to baptize a members supervisor. This dumb piece of shit was paying his employees just enough that the employees could barely eek out an existence but just enough that the employees did not want to loose their vested time by looking else where.
I sat this boss down and we talked about it and all it came down to was that he saw that if skimmed on 1 dollar an hour raise across the board he could see a profit of 1000 dollars an hour. That made a profit of over 3 quarters of a million dollars. The boss then
Would boats that he save the company over 800 thousand dollars.
In turn for this neat trick he receives a 2 dollar raise.
His lust for money has now become a sin for he has sacrificed the welfare of his fellow man. He has prostituted himself for some money and screwed and fed on his employees.
To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your labor pains; with pain you will give birth to children. You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you.”
We talked a bit. We debated a bit. We argued a bit. And then I pointed to him that the cost of living ate away at the employee’s income to the point that they could not longer tithe. That with out tithe the church could not perform any of the community functions and assistance programs.
He said he did not care about that and that was a church problem not a business problem.
“‘If you walk in hostility against me and are not willing to obey me, I will increase your affliction seven times according to your sins.
So I smacked him. Hard. In the face. Like a pimp would smack a whore that talked back. He cried "why did you do that?"
"Because” I bellowed "sir you have offended me and my god." and I stood,
So Moses returned to the Lord and said, “Alas, this people has committed a very serious
sin, and they have made for themselves gods of gold.
I grabbed him by the hair and dragged his fat pompous, pampered, spoiled ass to the ring and I tossed him to the ropes.
Wha.. what are you doing? Fear welling up in his eyes so fast his eyes looked like Speed Racers eyes, all anime and big.
I am going to show you to god and I am going to let god judge you and teach you a lesson.
Ba ba but I already go to a church.
When we are done you will have your pastor.... Father... very well your father come down and I will talk to him about his teachings he is giving you for you are a sinful man with not desire to repent and concern for your fellow man.
But you yourselves wrong and cheat, and you do this to your brothers and sisters!
I tossed him the 12 ounce gloves and said “you look like a fit man you work out right?”
“Ok then I will give you an edge. You get the 12 ounce gloves and I will use the 5 ounce
“No I think..”
“No I think that if you do not get in the ring you will go to hell today. I am trying to save your soul you dumb shit! Now get the god damn gloves on and get into the ring.”
“No you do not see. I will start saving your soul right here right now with my bare hands.”
He took the gloves and climbed into the ring.
He put the gloves on while I grabbed my gloves and turned on some heavy metal music.
I climbed into the ring and while I was putting the gloves on I looked down that the laces and he came up and landed one seriously square upper cut.
I went sprawling back into the ropes.
He charged and lifted his right to drill a punch into my face.
I came up with my foot and kicked him right in the crotch. [Laugh Out Loud]
You should have felt the air move when he sucked his breath in. Man alive, it was like I was in the center of a tornado.
He doubled over and he fell down to the mat.
I finished putting my gloves on.
I grabbed his head with both hands and lifted him to his feet. He looked like a new man.
He looked innocent and bewildered. It was obvious that this fuckwad had never felt pain, real pain in his life.
So the Lord, the God of Israel, spoke to me in a vision. “Take this cup from my hand. It is filled with the wine of my wrath. Take it and make the nations to whom I send you drink it.
I asked him if he could breath
I reached back for the haymaker and I let it connect to the left side of his face.
He spun and fell face down.
He laid there with his feet pointed back. But he moved. I waited for him to roll over.
I helped him to his feet and I walloped him again.
He dropped to his knees and looked up. He was not seeing me. He was seeing the good lord at that moment.
He stared up at the sky light for 3 minutes and then he nodded twice
So Hagar named the Lord who spoke to her, “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “Here I have seen one who sees me!”
He babbled something in a whisper to someone that could not be seen and I began to tear up. For I know who he spoke to.
The warmth that flowed over me was joyous and wonderful. Everyone that was in the room at that moment felt the presence of the holy ghost.
He looked down at the mat and began weeping. "It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life." Spraying blood on the mat from B's F's and S's.
He struggled with an angel and prevailed; he wept and begged for his favor. He found God at Bethel, and there he spoke with him!
He looked at me and said. "I have been shown the light and I will make amends this very day."
Good, now you must also do a couple of things. The good lord wants you to get your boss down here for some education and I want you to tell your father/priest to come see me I want to educate your clergy.
I will be talking to this cleric in the next couple of weeks in an attempt to get our denominations to become more cohesive and consistent on our teachings.
Remember that every Friday night the boys and the girls compete in the ring. Any concession and door money generated goes to assisting their ministry and building them a much larger center.
The teen minister and I have been talking about have live bands for their entertainment and maybe hosting a dance on Saturdays so that all that youthful energy can be spent someplace that can assist them in learning the right decisions.
The Knights of Acrimony are offering a special invitation to all to witness at their ceremony this Tuesday. They are inducting 3 new members into their order and this will be the only time anyone can be a part with out being a member. The ceremony is truly a blessed ceremony and always a wonderful moment when a new knight is inducted.
In the foyer the SMMR single mothers making reparations have put together a continental breakfast for everyone in appreciation and also a way to thank all the men that helped them out over the past couple months.
I give up on you all and the parking lot. I do not know what to do about all of you and your freaking attitudes. Today I want everyone to look to the person next to you on both sides and say I am sorry for the rudeness I am about to impart on you in the parking lot.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..