In my neighborhood #20

I have to post 20 before 21.

In my neighborhood #20
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Dear HOA Management Company,
I was on my way to work this morn and as I passed the corner lot at the entrance I see Sid and Nancy passed out on the lawn AGAIN.
Now this has to be the 17th time I have found these two face down on a Monday morning in the grass.
I know I have been by on numerous occasions while on neighborhood patrol and they have been in full blown fist fight mode over McDonald cheese burgers, Starbuck ice coffee drinks, and other really stupid stupid things.
I want you to do the job that was contracted to you and that is to write a letter demanding that they begin to act more human and less animal. That they think about their actions and remind them that the value they set for their house, they also set for the rest of their neighbors.
Heaven forbid I decide to sell and have a potential buyer drive by see these two rutting in the front yard like some animals in heat or passed out in the sun like homeless bums.
This shit has to stop. You have to finally address this eyesore. I commend the HOA in their enforcing of the "No Lawn Art restriction". I applaud the restriction you have imposed on the Poison house. They were really going to burn down the whole neighborhood with the smoke and flash pots.
The Lesbian orgies behind my house are still going on but I know that there is only so much you can do. But this drug induced comas in the front yard are avoidable. they are in the front yard after all for god and everyone to see.
There is a bus stop right in front of their house. What if Sid ties one on and passes out with his pants down during the regular school season? I strenuously impress upon you the urgency at which this must be addressed.
If this is allowed to continue much longer they maybe able to pull the precedent and rock star card out in a court battle and then we are all fucked!
Get it right! Get it done and get it out NOW!

HOA president
Rev. John Sleestaxx

No comments: