In My Neighborhood I have Pink and Britney as neighbors

Dear Home Owners Association,
I am lodging a formal complaint about my neighbors and the inability to preserve the value of my home.
I have lesbian couple behind me although they are not flag flying box-tearers or sign carrying carpet munchers they are gay.
I am speaking of the neighbor right behind my house Britney Spears and Pink. Now although they are not out of the closet they chose to live together and every weekend they have a lesbo parties and get drunk and have lesbian sex.
Huge writhing naked lady pool parties all fucking weekend. They are naked women making out in the pool, blaring music from the stereos and lots of orgasmic screaming. It is just a huge orgy of naked women getting drunk and having gay sex on the lawn. There is nothing but gay girl on girl action from 8:00am Friday to 10:00pm Sunday.
The weather is always nice and the Pink-Brit pair has outdoor bedroom furniture in the back yard. There are two big king-size beds on the patio pads in the backyard clearly out of bounds of the deed restrictions. Do you realize how much naked gay girl sex can happen on a king size bed?? No you don't because on the porn you look at on the internet is hotel doubles that barely hold the four that you are use to seeing. A king-size bed can fit 8 to 10 naked girl bodies, all licking and poking and rubbing and grinding and sliding in and out, in and out, up and down, up and down, back and forth.
Boobs touching boobs butts touching butts, tongues out and licking and tasting the forbidden areas of another woman.
The pool filled with the naked lesbo flesh of a hundred women. It is a pool of boobs, nothing but boobs. Boobs are everywhere, from big to perky and dark to pale. Large pencil erasure sized nipples and hard as a rock to small as pencil point and you can cut diamonds with these. Every goddamn weekend I have this spectacle behind my house.
I think the HOA likes having the lesbians in the neighborhood because it makes them all feel cosmopolitan and progressive. But you all do not loose sleep over the hot nasty lesbian sex spectacle that goes on every weekend. The HOA does not know what the sight does to a man. You apparently have no clue how damaged one gets of sitting at the knot hole of your fence for 60 hours straight. How the air is unbearably hot and how your skin is on fire when you know that there is a feast of lesbian flesh 25 feet away. When you know that the hedonistic pleasures that are underway will riddle your sane mind like Swiss cheese. Every time I close my eyes I see nothing but lesbo tasting lesbo, girl skin on girl skin, boobs bouncing and bodies writhing in ecstasy as they all mount the orgasmic wave and ride the pounding tide of pleasure over and over again. They are screaming their orgasmic pleasures in twelve languages all day and all night.
You can not imagine how the sight of girl on girl for 60 hours can tear you brain apart and set your soul on fire. The sight of fingers entering wet fleshy orifices of pleasure, while lips and tongues slipping and sucking probing and exploring the vast unknown and mysterious areas that are the lesbo body.
I am amazed at the resiliency of the skin on my penis every weekend
Henry Rollins and Kidd Rock are always at my door on the weekends they want to use my knot hole in my fence.
I let them sometimes because you can only watch hot lesbo action for so many hours a day until you start to dehydrate and need to drink water.
I put the hose right by the chair after i passed out in the middle of Saturday and woke up Sunday night.
They are a bad influence on the whole neighborhood. I see many of the wives and women of the neighborhood over there time after time. Every once in awhile Pam will be over there for the drinks and lesbo sex, apparently Pam loves to digit dip in the pool just as all the ladies in my neighborhood. They play strip poker, bunko, and beer pong. They have pillow fights in their underwear all the time. It is like a pillow fight marathon all weekend. Giggling and fighting and tickling.
Once a month they have wresting matches in kiddies pools, sometimes they have instant potatoes and some times they have oatmeal. Once they filled the pool with chicken nuggets and BBQ sauce (that was the weekend I passed out).
They are nothing but trouble and a nuisance. The hot lesbo sex has to be toned down ASAP a man can not get any work done during the week because he is thinking about last weekend and what next week end will bring.
Do you realize that I can not sell my house when there is a a party going on behind my house every weekend. no person in his right mind wants to buy a house next to party animals.
I understand that we are in a new era and new up to date times and that we are suppose to be open minded and tolerant but a man's home is not only his castle but also his investment.
Please protect my investment and make Britney and Pink stop the parties.

Thank you
John Sleestaxx

1 comment:

Malfic said...

Chicken Nuggets and BBQ sauce in a Kiddie pool with hot naked lesbians wrestling in it. Not so sure its my kink but it strikes a damn fine image.