My Speech To The Class Of 2013

Hello Class of 2013. As I look out on your young and beautiful faces I see hope, I see promise, and I see the future. I also see panic, fright and I see utter despair and failure. 

For today you all enter into the last chapter of your lives. Because tomorrow you will no longer be high school students, you are ALL going to be adults. You are entering into the world as fresh meat for the world to consume. And I say this with genuine admiration and prayer for you all. Because I have been in your very seat and now I have been into the grinder and I know what you all face and I admire the naiveté with which you all have, as you plunge into this great journey. And I pray for each and every one of your souls, because soon you will be faced with decisions that will compromise your innocence, morals and ethics. You will eat or be eaten. You will destroy and rebuild. You will die and be reborn.

And unfortunately no matter your choice you will shed some of your youth, you will make connections and loose connections. You are going to break your hymen of childhood on the jagged, rough edges of adulthood.

Every once in a while I think back...I think about how it seemed so difficult at the time. But then again, youth built on drama, youth is fueled by tragic moments that when strung together will be the sum of your lives.

I am now 48 plus some days and over 200 pounds and every morning I get up and puke and then on my "kill or be killed" commute to a pathetic foot race with corporate whore mongers, pirates and thieves, I think back to my youth. And I think ‘man that was difficult’, trying to figure out if my mother was going to be with a drunkard or a boxer or fucking worse yet, a drunk angry boxer. And I think this fucking rat race I am in is SOOOOO much easier. I know the rules I know the boundaries and I know that as long as I do not talk too much no one knows what a fucking mess I am.

I fucking hated those times that you are all in right now and am so glad I am beyond that, and then fucktards with some weird ass hair up their ass seems that they want to re-capture those times by trying to contact me. Why?

We were stupid, we knew nothing of how the world worked or existed beyond our poor pathetic sociopathic world. We talked about how we were cool and everyone was not because they were not individuals. We were the future and we were going to make a difference. We looked down on those that looked down on us, and for what? The same reasons they looked down on us. 

And don't start me on the whole kum-bi-ya, group hippy love hug shit, that we all accepted those not like us and embraced those that were different like us. Yeah fucking right! We had cliques and we defended those cliques with fury, hatred and broken bottles. We were just as guilty of snobbery as our educators and protectors. We did, on a smaller scale, the same evil shit that we said we were rallying against. We learned from masters of evil and deception. We copied them but disguised it in youth exuberance. How fucking ignorant were we?

I look back at those times with venom, hatred, uneasiness, and a mounting debt of therapy bills and a hand full of prescribed medications. Yeah I remember everyone single one of them and Jesus H Christ why do they all want to make me touch those things again? Why do they all want to touch those things again?

We were all outcasts but so was everyone else our age and so IS every one of you! We hid in their group and peer structure just as you do. We were rude and cold to everyone that was new that showed up. We were dickheads and twats to the world. We walked around spouting the world owed us and [raising voice] you want to know what? [full on top of lungs yell] the world don’t owe us shit!

And my karma is destroyed by my decisions just as every single one of my generation.

You are not special, you did not earn a single trophy that is in your room right now. You have been coddled, swaddled, and protected from what you are all about to endure.

Life!

Yep, that’s fucking right life is going to eat your mutherfucking lunch if you think you are going to make this world a better place. The world does not want to a better place. The world likes it just the way it is. Cheaters will always win. Liars will always prosper and the thieves will pocket everything you have.

Congratulations class of 2013 you are now in the race and you are not even aware the that there is a pack of wolves already closing in.

[Middle finger] Good fucking luck! And don’t get in my way or I will bite your neck and claw your back to get what is mine.

You Are All Doomed!

Ejection Report 04-29-2013

Ejection Report

Angels vs. Ranger (?)

Red vs. blue

There is some back story to the attitude and behavior of the red coach.

13 mins before the game time I was at the backstop looking across the field for My Partner. And I was approached by the blue coach asking if we were going to get the game in based on weather (?).

I was explaining that I am sure we would get started and that I was just waiting for My Partner.

The red coach approached us and began to voice complaints that the blue coach had a catcher without head gear and a short stop on the field without a hat.

I looked over and saw no catcher and explained the same to the red coach and he said the boy was out there on the field without a hat. I said the game had not started but I am sure that if the player had a hat that he would wear the hat during the game. He began to talk about some other game in which the blue coach 'got him about the sunglasses and he was going to be sure that he was going to get the coach for the hat. I told the red coach that the game had not started yet. He said that was fine that us two could politic all we wanted and he walked away again stating that we were politicking. I asked the coach not to do that or to say such things.

5 mins before the game time My Partner arrived and we began the plate meeting. I covered the ground rules asked if everyone was properly and legally equipped. They both stated affirmative and then the blue coach said that he had a player whose hat was broken (the back tensioner part). I explained that I was in contact with The League and that we could not think of a  Baseball Association rule that would prevent a player from playing without a hat and that since the hat was broken and the league knew about the broken hat That I was sure there should be no problem and that if the blue coach had an extra player on the bench that the boy should borrow a hat.

Top of the second inning 1 out with a runner on first the blue team’s pitcher made a pickoff move and the runner on first was tagged out. The red coach became irate and began to jump up and down and yell at My Partner and pantomime the tag. My Partner talked with the coach for a moment and then went to his position.

At the beginning of the bottom of the second the red coach was talking a long time to get his players on the field. I asked the coach for a pitcher and a catcher. He stated that the boys had diarrhea and he was trying to fix it. I asked again for a pitcher and a catcher. He said that catcher was getting ready; I stated that a coach should then warm up the pitcher he ignored me and continued his group huddle. A pitcher and a coach did come out to warm up. The catcher arrived and I asked the catcher to "call balls in".

At the top of the third, runner on first (unknown outs) the pitcher attempted a pick off to first and the runner was tagged out. The red coach ripped off his hat and began to jump and stomp about yelling at My Partner. The red coach then looked at me and yelled that that was "2 missed calls". I asked the batter to step out of the box and I called time. I walked up first base line towards the red coach and asked him to talk to me.

I explained that his actions were not sportsman like and that he was to stop. He said he was allowed to take his hat off because his head itched, I started to explain that he knows what he did and that everyone knows what he did and to not do that anymore. He started to walk away, I told him that we were not done talking and that I was giving him his last warning on sportsmen like conduct and any more behavior like that would put him in the parking lot.

We started to part and he yelled at me to "get down there and call strikes!" this was irrecusable and I turned and told him he was done and he was out of the game. I turned and walked back to the plate.

I observed him stand at the bleachers and he was coaching the players on the field, but since he was neither commenting on the game nor talking about past plays I was not going to keep him from watching his boy play.

The red coach approached the dark side of my vehicle and attempted to talk to me. I backed away from him while I told him we had nothing to discuss. He would not leave nor did he come around towards the back of my vehicle I again told him we had nothing to discuss and that would he please step away from my vehicle after a long awkward pause in the dark he walked away and stated I was a male private part. A mother asked my name, I gave her my full name.

There was no incident after that point

Go eat a sandwich

There are evil men among us.

That’s right we have evil men here right here this very moment. They are here to question my authority.

Question my sincerity. They all ask themselves, ‘why does he get to say the things he says?’’

Tell them, ‘Because he wants to!’

That’s right bitches I want to, I do the bible research, I chose to go out and open my life and my heart in front of God and everyone.

Now you may not like some of what I have to say.

And some may not like any of what I have to say.

But damn it I have it to say!

I want to say it!

And I will not hold back because some hypersensitive Pee See whiner is going to complain.

We have been driven into a position of caring too much about how something is being said instead of what is being said.

Some things can not be prettied up. They are ugly, offensive, and not nice.

But they are the truths none the less.

If you do not like what is being said then do not listen. Make an argument against what is said. But DO NOT THINK THAT YOU CAN SHUT ME UP WITH A, “My feelings are hurt by what you said.”

Do you think that anybody cared about my feelings when my step father beat me.

Do you think that my mother mad him stop when he was caught with his pants down?

Do you think anybody cared when I ran away.

Where were the fucking whiners when the pot growing hippy in the commune started to do the same things my step father did? I DO NOT THINK THAT WAS WHAT WAS MEANT WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT THE DECADE OF FUCKING LOVE!

And where was the caring and sharing love we all must have when that fat fucker in San Francisco said he had a place for me, and turned out to be a place for those that chose to walk the street for him. Yeah the only fuckers that cared about the feelings of a 14year old boy were the salesman too fucking weak to admit they were gay and hated themselves for it too. The only feelings they wanted to take care of, was to create my own self loathing and beat me for their own fucking weakness.

Fuck them all and fuck you all with your whiner fucking ‘oh poor me and my sensibilities.’ You do not like what is said move the fuck on and fuck yourself while you’re at it!

I have learned long ago. They will not change the rules for you. They will change them for themselves. But they do not care about you. These whiners, these censors, these pussies, they do not care about my anger, they do not care about why I am angry, they only care about themselves and how they fucking feel.

If your fucking feelings are hurt and you have the right to bitch then I have the right to say what I want. You have the ability to move on. You have the ability to change how you feel. I fucking did.

So your feelings are hurt.

What about my childhood. My childhood hurts you gonna fix that?? Yeah I fucking thought so.

You know what? You all with your ‘everybody needs to be included and nobody should be offended’ attitude is way outta control. You want to muzzle my feelings and suppress my hurt for the good of yourself?

FUCK YOU!!

Come get some bitch. I will show you how to make your bones. And get even with your step father at the same time.

I will look into your pussy eyes and see you hurt and I promise it will not be nearly the same as mine every god damn day.

Every god damn fucking day.

Every fucking day the alarm clock wakes me up and the pain of my life comes crashing in on me. The thought that today I have to get up and chase that goddamn dollar again and there are literally hundreds of thousands of fuckwads that want to separate me from my money.

I get no reward from turning my life around.

I get no relief from the pain and guilt of my life.

I get no break from the race I am in.

I get e-mails from fucking whinny ass strangers who say that I can not say what I have to say.

You know what? You do what I have done in my life and say that you can tell me that.

You suck for a buck and then see how normal your fucking rants are.

You find a way out of the hell you are in at 15 with no fucking tools and make it to where I am today and then tell me what to fucking say and what to fucking do.

I may not be any place that is all that great but compared to where I was and what I have done with the shit that was handed to me I have done pretty fucking good for myself

You do what I have done start to finish and then you can even think that you can talk to me.

Cause right now you are just fucking noise.

Buzz buzz buzz. What an annoying fucking sound and what annoying fucking sound you make when you want to talk about somebody else to me. Fuck off

Fuck off

Eat shit and fucking die you god damn whiny little school girl.

Go make your bones, go make a life outta shit go fuck off.

Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you

My Teeth Are Sharp For A Reason By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Anti meat eaters
I understand that you may not like the texture of meat. I understand that you may not like the feeling of chewing meat.
But to propagandize the fairness in eating non-human animals is too much!
God gave us all sharp teeth when he designed us.
We are meat eaters it was so divined in the beginning of time and space. From the moment the bacteria evolved into something then into us it was decided that we were to eat meat.
God meant us to be dominating of all the animals that is why he made us in his image

Gen 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness, so they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move on the earth.”

Gen 1:27 God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.

We are at the top of the food chain. Now I will admit that god's design did not account for fossil fuels and the like but hey at some point the design of the earth will kick in and we will be culled to a more manageable level. There is nothing that we need to do about that. It will take of itself.
But this site irks me.'
They speak of fairness to animas that if you smacked on the head would forget about it two minutes later. They were design to be food for us and the rest of the planet.
Here you go.
If humans eating animals is wrong then why do other animals eat other animals and why is that not wrong.
Simple.
Answer that and I may put my burger down.

I am so filled with hate that....

I am so filled with Hate, Anger, confusion and misery that i can not tie my shoes.
If i was to bend over now the world would be set aflame from the burning desire that is in me to just fucking lash out at all the rest of the fucking humans on this god's foreskin piece of dirt that is floating in goddamn nothingness.
Does any mother f(*&*ker even realize this?
We are on a rock in nothing revoling and falling into a huge fucking ball of fire but we think that we matter and we deserve to fu(k and screw everybody over at the first goddamn chance we get.
What the hell is wrong with all of you all??? why???? what is the point???
aw fukett i 'm in wake me up when it is my turn then you all will see how the game is played.
Go Team Anger!
Time!
I have to tie my shoe.

Memories and darker places

I was touching bad memories and evoking disturbing emotions the other day and thought that hey this ruined my Sunday how about I ruin everybody’s Tuesday. I am sorry but this is a bit of therapy for me and I now think I can start putting this to down I a tangable format.

I remember lying in bed at night praying that I would get to sleep before they got home. She would be too drunk to occupy him and once she fell asleep and he found me awake....well never mind that horror show. But I remember lying in bed thinking that there has to be a better place than this. Some place that did not hurt. Some place that was warm and nothing was threatening.
I used to think that I could remember a time when that was true. That if I squinted just right and pulled on the edges of my young memory I could see my real dad and my mom smiling and the sun out and there is a fish on the end of my line on my bamboo pole.
I remember laughing at my mom running from the fish as I pulled it out of the water too fast. I remember my dad, my real dad and how brave he was grabbing the squirming flopping fish without hesitation and pulling the hook out of the mouth that made the OH but never spoke.
Another time
I remember the principle coming to my house. I felt so proud when I opened the door and he was there. Man he seemed tall in the door way.
I remember the smile he greeted me with. I remember my mother asking if I was in trouble and him laughing and saying "John? Heavens no."
Then my square headed “Frankenstein” step dad coming in from the back yard and grumbling "who is this"
And my principle introduced him self.
My mother asking if he would like a drink or something. And he said that would not be necessary.
I got embarrassed then because principles do not eat or drink anything, and this must be a special occasion for him to leave school. Man, Mom you had to have known that!
My step father demanding to know why he was here.
He said 'he was here to talk about john'
I was told to go to my room.
I heard the principle say that last week there was test and
The dip shit failed...
No..... I shut the door.
There was murmuring and laughter
Then I heard my step father yelling and then I heard a slap
Then I heard my name being called
And I came out and I was asked what my name was and I told him “John Sleestaxx”.
My mother just sat there with her hand on her cheek and the principle sat there uncomfortable looking at his shoes.
Then my step father said, "there you go he's a Sleestaxx and there is no way a Sleestaxx is smart his real daddy is stupid and he is too.
You made a mistake and I want you all at the school to forget it. There will be no more tests for him and you will leave him in the class he is in." Leave me in my class? Man I must have really failed bad. They wanted to put me back into third grade.
I was glad about that because Miss Meyers was pretty and I liked being in her class.
Mom just sat there as the principle got up, looked at me and smiled, and said that he was sorry for intruding. He shook my hand and I remember my hand just disappearing in his.
And then my step father said that he had overstayed his welcome.
The principle said that he was sorry again and left.
The door closed and I wondered what had happened
I asked my mom as she got up to make dinner "why did Mr. Steiner come over?"
But she said that it was mistake and my stepfather said, "You know Johnny you are just a Sleestaxx and if you were special your daddy would have you at his house with his new wife and kids."
At that moment I knew my step father was right. If I was special I would be with my father, he would have kept me. I would not be here.
But that is as far too happy or proud as I ever get.
I can not recall anything happy about my child hood from that point on.
Just dodging the drunk and the angry mom.

Still Pissed Off

You all want to know what ??
I am still fucking pissed off.

If you do not like here move the fuck on.
No I am not going to give the pussies a moment on my board, on my stand, at my podium.
Henry Rollins does not. Pink does not. Dixie (traitor) Chicks do not offer a opposing view point when they decide to rant and rant and piss and moan.
Why would I let one of you whinny babies an opportunity.
Go fuck yourselves.
LOL
fuck yourselves
ROFLMAO
That is just what you need for perspective and good fucking from yourself.
Try having a couple of those against your will
and then a couple more just to survive
and then fuck yourself some more
and then have a nice day.

6350-070820-923485-710

© 2007 All Rights Reserved.

Go eat a sandwich

There are evil men among us.
That’s right we have evil men here right here this very moment. They are here to question my authority. Question my sincerity. They all ask themselves, ‘why does he get to say the things he says?’’
Tell them, ‘Because he wants to!’
That’s right bitches I want to, I do the bible research, I chose to go out and open my life and my heart in front of God and everyone.
Now you may not like some of what I have to say.
And some may not like any of what I have to say.
But damn it I have it to say!
I want to say it!
And I will not hold back because some hypersensitive Pee See whiner is going to complain.
We have been driven into a position of caring too much about how something is being said instead of what is being said.
Some things can not be prettied up. They are ugly, offensive, and not nice.
But they are the truths none the less.
If you do not like what is being said then do not listen. Make an argument against what is said. But DO NOT THINK THAT YOU CAN SHUT ME UP WITH A, “My feelings are hurt by what you said.”
Do you think that anybody cared about my feelings when my step father beat me.
Do you think that my mother mad him stop when he was caught with his pants down?
Do you think anybody cared when I ran away.
Where were the fucking whiners when the pot growing hippy in the commune started to do the same things my step father did? I DO NOT THINK THAT WAS WHAT WAS MEANT WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT THE DECADE OF FUCKING LOVE!
And where was the caring and sharing love we all must have when that fat fucker in San Francisco said he had a place for me, and turned out to be a place for those that chose to walk the street for him. Yeah the only fuckers that cared about the feelings of a 14year old boy were the salesman too fucking weak to admit they were gay and hated themselves for it too. The only feelings they wanted to take care of, was to create my own self loathing and beat me for their own fucking weakness.
Fuck them all and fuck you all with your whiner fucking ‘oh poor me and my sensibilities.’ You do not like what is said move the fuck on and fuck yourself while you’re at it!
I have learned long ago. They will not change the rules for you. They will change them for themselves. But they do not care about you. These whiners, these censors, these pussies, they do not care about my anger, they do not care about why I am angry, they only care about themselves and how they fucking feel.
If your fucking feelings are hurt and you have the right to bitch then I have the right to say what I want. You have the ability to move on. You have the ability to change how you feel. I fucking did.
So your feelings are hurt.
What about my childhood. My childhood hurts you gonna fix that?? Yeah I fucking thought so.
You know what? You all with your ‘everybody needs to be included and nobody should be offended’ attitude is way outta control. You want to muzzle my feelings and suppress my hurt for the good of yourself?
FUCK YOU!!
Come get some bitch. I will show you how to make your bones. And get even with your step father at the same time.
I will look into your pussy eyes and see you hurt and I promise it will not be nearly the same as mine every god damn day.
Every god damn fucking day.
Every fucking day the alarm clock wakes me up and the pain of my life comes crashing in on me. The thought that today I have to get up and chase that goddamn dollar again and there are literally hundreds of thousands of fuckwads that want to separate me from my money.
I get no reward from turning my life around.
I get no relief from the pain and guilt of my life.
I get no break from the race I am in.
I get e-mails from fucking whinny ass strangers who say that I can not say what I have to say.
You know what? You do what I have done in my life and say that you can tell me that.
You suck for a buck and then see how normal your fucking rants are.
You find a way out of the hell you are in at 15 with no fucking tools and make it to where I am today and then tell me what to fucking say and what to fucking do.
I may not be any place that is all that great but compared to where I was and what I have done with the shit that was handed to me I have done pretty fucking good for myself
You do what I have done start to finish and then you can even think that you can talk to me.
Cause right now you are just fucking noise.
Buzz buzz buzz. What an annoying fucking sound and what annoying fucking sound you make when you want to talk about somebody else to me. Fuck off
Fuck off
Eat shit and fucking die you god damn whiny little school girl.
Go make your bones, go make a life outta shit go fuck off.
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you

72690-070820-644035-43

© 2007 All Rights Reserved.