White trash zombies.

 There was a ruckus coming from the single wide trailer next door. Edgar said, “Shit Betty they're at it again.”

 “Yeah? Well don't talk to me abut it, I am busy, Jerry's on!”

  Edgar mumbled something as he looked out the window at the single next door.  He could see the shadows of movement and the noise was just getting worse.

 This kind of crap happens when the checks get in. The whole park gets loud on the 1st and 15th of every month.

 Everybody gets liquored up and gets rowdy.

But the zombies next door just creped him out.

War bunnies

 They were tired of the ridicule. They were tired of the explotation.

 To not look conspicuous in the beginning they just gathered in small groups.

 But their best brains had given them a number. A population count that would assure their victory and they had reached it.

 It was time to fight, it was time for war.

 The hares, rabbits and bunnies armed themselves and gathered. They were going to take over the world.

 They gathered outside the edge of a small town on the back forty of Mr. Wilsons farm.

They attacked.

 Where were you when the revolution started?

Eat the dog

The chant was so unison it was almost one voice.

 It was his first band camp.

 He wanted to make new alliances, this was to be his year, he was going to be the man, he was going to get a girlfriend AND kiss her.

 And then his parents sent him to this camp.

 Now he’s in the circle, with the whole camp chanting and watching him.

 What's this going to accomplish?

 It's a team building exercise. Now you will share in their strength and share a bond that can not be broken.

 Now it’s simple, just Eat The Dog

You gonna let’em call you that?

“That’ll be seven sixty seven buddy.” Said the clerk.

The guy behind me said. "Buddy? Last I heard a buddy was a bump on a dog's ass. Don’t let him call you that?"

He was right. No Mother Fucken human should be allowed to call anybody "buddy" that’s just too disrespectful to let slide. So I took my Slurpee and beef jerky out to my car and got my gun. I went back in and shot the bastard in the knee.

 I told him, while he was crying like a little girl, that he better think about calling people names.

Barking spiders

 The little gnome opened the door. He had two bowls in his hand. One with last nights stew and another with water.

 He was greeted by a hoard of little creatures. Alll of them jumping up and down clammering for his attention, or was it the food?

 Aww he knew this venture was a gold mine. Why the humans all kept talking about these little creatures.

 Why not breed them and sell them. He asked his gnome wife.

 Who is going to want barking spiders? Was her only reply.

 She did not stay the smell was too much for her.

Hour glass sand

 The last grain of her sand dropped into the bottom bell and she drew in her last breath and expired.

 At her side was her lover.  At her end, he wailed and cried. He angrily shook his fists at god. And he yelled never again do you hear me? NEVER!