Eat the dog

The chant was so unison it was almost one voice.

 It was his first band camp.

 He wanted to make new alliances, this was to be his year, he was going to be the man, he was going to get a girlfriend AND kiss her.

 And then his parents sent him to this camp.

 Now he’s in the circle, with the whole camp chanting and watching him.

 What's this going to accomplish?

 It's a team building exercise. Now you will share in their strength and share a bond that can not be broken.

 Now it’s simple, just Eat The Dog

You gonna let’em call you that?

“That’ll be seven sixty seven buddy.” Said the clerk.

The guy behind me said. "Buddy? Last I heard a buddy was a bump on a dog's ass. Don’t let him call you that?"

He was right. No Mother Fucken human should be allowed to call anybody "buddy" that’s just too disrespectful to let slide. So I took my Slurpee and beef jerky out to my car and got my gun. I went back in and shot the bastard in the knee.

 I told him, while he was crying like a little girl, that he better think about calling people names.

A Stinky Contraption

 The shoes were a stinky contraption of leather, rubber and canvas held together by man made threads. The logo design was no longer important because they just hung on the wire. On the wire the shoes told everybody that a bad man lived here and to stay away.

Everyday they were a constant reminder to him that he let a banger take his shoes. Shoes his daddy bought for him, just before he left. His momma was so mad when he came home that she beat him.

 And now he hides under the porch smoking pot barefooted in the mud.

Anger and Malice a Sermon

Anger and malice

Or

Malice and Anger

“Then the anger of the Lord will erupt against you and he will close up the sky so that it does not rain. The land will not yield its produce, and you will soon be removed from the good land that the Lord 4 is about to give you”

Deu 11:17

“For I was terrified at the Lord’s intense anger that threatened to destroy you. But he listened to me this time as well”

Deu 9:19

“Dear Lord forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.”

Lord’s prayer

My friends I carry much anger over the care of our fellow man. Meaning what we do to our neighbors, what we inflict on our brothers deeply and profoundly troubles me.

Let me tell you the story of two panhandlers

I wanted to know why one man makes more than another man. I mean we are both men, we are both created in God's image, getting it down to brass tacks we both have the same mother and father.

“For Adam was formed first and then Eve”

1Ti 2:13

But everyone expects one to work and the other not to work.

This has to be wrong, so I decided to test the theory. I asked one race to panhandle with me ( I explained I would double any money he collected). We picked a street corner and took one side while I took the other.

During the course of the day I was yelled at, spit at, and basically treated as trash, no more than a piece of human garbage. While the other guy made 350 dollars.

This was ridiculous!

I was expected to work and I was not entitled to any help or handout because I was white and clean, and my eyes did not have the dumb look of drugs or alcohol, while the other panhandler made 350 dollars, for doing nothing but standing there with his hand out.

But a spirit empowered Amasai, the leader of the thirty warriors, and he said: “We are yours, O David! We support you, O son of Jesse! May you greatly prosper! May those who help you prosper! Indeed your God helps you!” So David accepted them and made them leaders of raiding bands.

1Ch 12:18

Did I double his money?

Hell No!

He needs nothing from me, he makes more from handouts than I do for hard work! Fuck That!

I bust my hump every day and make less while he hangs out for a few hours and makes more money. And then goes and buys drugs, alcohol, and cheap sleazy women.

What do you think I did? That's right! I kicked his ass and took the money.

Now that Is Malice.

Now there maybe some of you that are a little upset by this, There maybe some of you that may be offended.

And well that is fine, you are entitled to your own opinion and you are welcome to come down after the sermon to get your ass kicked by me.

I hold baptismal beatings every Thursday night in the rectory boxing ring.

Why do we call them baptismal beatings?

Because the beatings do not stop until you are screaming in tongues "oh God stop oh God Make it stop!"

Some parishioners think that maybe I am a bit to harsh, but you know what? I am this way because this is the life I was dealt and it has made me this way.

All the years of being some fuck heads bitch and not getting the break I kept getting told I was due.

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."

Mat 5:5

My congregation is mostly made up of many individuals that realize that they are back sliders stubborn sinners that need an ass whoopin' to get set straight.

And that is where I come in, old or young man or woman. I kick their ass until they see the light.

They are allowed to fight back I expect them to but you see God has made me strong.

"Then I said, “Lord, you give me strength and protect me. You are the one I can run to for safety when I am in trouble. Nations from all over the earth will come to you and say, ‘Our ancestors had nothing but false gods – worthless idols that could not help them at all."

Jer 16:19

This is my calling.

"Let all their wickedness come before you; and afflict them just as they have afflicted me. Because of all their acts of rebellion. For my groans are many, and my heart is sick with sorrow."

Lam 1:22

God has told me to kick your ass.

“I will wipe them out and beat them to death, they will not get up, and they will fall at my feet.”

Sam 22:39