Barking spiders

 The little gnome opened the door. He had two bowls in his hand. One with last nights stew and another with water.

 He was greeted by a hoard of little creatures. Alll of them jumping up and down clammering for his attention, or was it the food?

 Aww he knew this venture was a gold mine. Why the humans all kept talking about these little creatures.

 Why not breed them and sell them. He asked his gnome wife.

 Who is going to want barking spiders? Was her only reply.

 She did not stay the smell was too much for her.

Old Zombies Come Back To Haunt Me

For some time my son has been harassed on FB about my where a bouts and my health

To you all I have written an open letter;

You know I was a nice guy back when. I was always agreeable. Then the scene started to hit critical mass and there was 
fractioning and cliques and little drama wars.

 Then I realized, I guess I always knew, that this was no-where’s-ville this was not a sustainable life style. 

 I remember the Tales of Terror coming back from the slavery tour and being different. I remember many friends being swallowed by their

vices and addictions. I remember going to Bedrock Bill’s funeral, you all remember that? Remember how he was found and how sad and

pathetic his family looked during the viewing and the evil “kill you where stand” looks from his mother.

 I was already starting to distance myself from it all, but I think that was the clincher. That look from his mom was a monstrous weight

heaped upon me.

 I knew my mother was insane, but I also knew I did not what her to go through that.

 I left. I kept in touch with many and lost touch with many more. I became a terrible friend to all of you eventually, but it was for the

sake and sanity of me and my future family.

 I took my family to Texas without ever telling my mother where we were. That should tell you something about my privacy and protection of

my family.

 We are different from when we were then and there is a reason we lost touch. We changed and now when we are all 40+ and staring at the

horizon of our lives we try to go back, but we cannot rewind time.

 I have changed I am a mean mother fucker I hate just about every human on this god forsaken rock spiraling into the sun.

 I have come to realize humans are evil simple fact. it is amazing that we ever evolved past the fish on the beach. By all accounts we

should have eaten each other there on the beach and had been god's failed experiment.

 That said I have a couple of things to point out;

 Jeff said, “Have to say.... John was a jerk...and a pig... with his silly rotting catbones, plus the fucker chipped my tooth... could 

say more but why bother...”

Jeff:
 You did not rule shit you acted like to the poser fag you will always be.

 I vaguely remember you talking some shit 25 years ago about some chipped tooth and I kind of remember I was not responsible but then

again I cannot clearly state I remember the whole sorted crybaby saga but I am sure you were doing something stupid to get me to do

something to chip your tooth, but then again that is the youth and the culture of today, isn’t it? It is never your fault it is the fault

of someone else.

"It was not my fault I was arrested for drinking beer in the park, it was the fault of the Chinese guy at the liquor store or the old guy

who called the cops but clearly it is not my fault for trespassing and violating ord 3.1.5.2 of the city penal code. No way, not mine, boo

fucking hoo"

 So Jeff, maybe in your little world with pink skies and purple grass, you are somebody.

 Maybe in your little world where all of your furniture is made of the scrotum skin of young men, you are important.

 You might be king shit where the maggots go to worship, you might be a prophet to the little turds in the sewer.

 But in my world you are an open festering sore on a dog’s ass. You are nothing and you do not even require a name.

 You are just simply shit, not king shit bubba douche bag. Not even bubba douche bag.

Malcom

 It was Stiv Bators not Iggy Pop that served us whiskey and as far as the penis thing well I remember hearing about you touching Iggy’s

dick while I was in jail, you cheating bastard!.

Randy:

 It was not Rats Ass, Boots and John. First of all Geoff hated the nick name boots. Second it was Rick W. myself  and Sam C. that got

arrested in the back of the club for damaging the ceiling and we three were taken off to the station.

 During our incarceration someone else fell through the ceiling onto the stage and another dip shit punter broke through the ceiling and

stole the ticket money thus corroborating our story that two others had fallen through and got away.

 If I offended some of you all, well I guess I did. If some wonder if I hate them, then I probably do, and if you want my e-mail then 
Y3d0c3RyYXlkb2dAeWFob28uY29t

 But really you zombies need to leave my son alone; he does not need friends like you I should know.

 Burn in hell, you sinners, you evil tools of satan. For one day the lord will come and you all will be cast into hell and I will be there

in all my glory kicking dirt into the hole and laughing and pointing at your misery and dismay. It will be a glorious day then too for the

lord has come to take all his children home.

Anger Management

We need to celebrate anger, wallow in anger, and be angry. Somebody or some people made us angry why do we need to control this. It was their fault they need to figure out the whys and the hows.

"My anger management"

God made us in his image. God is an angry vengeful God.

Deu 29:23
The whole land will be covered with brimstone, salt, and burning debris; it will not be planted nor will it sprout or produce grass. It will resemble the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Admah and Zeboiim, which the Lord destroyed in his intense anger.

Holy crap! Brimstone! Salt!, Burning debris! Nothing will fucking grow!
Yes I would say that God is an angry Vengeful God. Why is my anger wrong then and why do I have to manage my anger? God does not attend group therapy. He smites those that have offended him!

Lev 26:21
If you walk in hostility against me and are not willing to obey me, I will increase your affliction seven times according to your sins.

Shit! Seven times according to your sins.
He states that we are to smite those that offend us or have taken a position against him! How can one smite another without anger?

Judges 15:6
So the Philistines went up and burned her and her father. Samson said to them, “Because you did this, I will get revenge against you before I quit fighting.” He struck them down and defeated them.

He later whoop their asses with just the jaw bone of a donkey. But mind you he was pissed they had killed his best girl and her father. They had offended him. No one said 'hey Samson, Dude, I can empathize with your feelings and I can see where you are coming from but this anger is not good. You should learn to control your anger, manage it.'
Yeah fucking right! God said here you should beat them down, whoop their girly asses with a bone, just a freakin’ bone. And that is exactly what Samson did! God gave him the strength to do so.
So why am I told that I have to control, quell and stop an emotion that is so close to God, so revered by God so encouraged by God? Because it is God's enemies that want me to be pacified, pussified, whimpified. The enemies of God want me controllable. Because, if I am controllable then they can control me. And that is what all this anger management shit is about.
I...nay we should not try to stop our anger or control our anger, we should wallow in it bath in the wondrous power of the felling of anger. We should celebrate the anger with parties and beatings and make total festivals for anger.
That is anger management! That is what we should do.

Let me share another passage with you...
Isa 5:25
So the Lord is furious with his people; he lifts his hand and strikes them. The mountains shake, and corpses lie like manure in the middle of the streets. Despite all this, his anger does not subside, and his hand is ready to strike again.

If we act on our righteous God given anger it will become stronger and better attuned. This is the anger management that God would want. This is the type of anger that God has. And we all know that the premise of worship and learning is to be more like God and the way that God wants us to be. So to better own the anger you should act on it, encourage it, train it to be there for you. This is anger management that is right with God and in Gods way.

Isa 9:17
So the sovereign master was not pleased with their young men, he took no pity on their orphans and widows; for the whole nation was godless and did wicked things, every mouth was speaking disgraceful words. Despite all this, his anger does not subside, and his hand is ready to strike again.

Again another example of God's anger being there when it was needed. We all know that our God is an angry God and a vengeful God. The bible has many lessons for us to read and take to heart.

Isa 13:9
Look, the Lord’s Day of judgment is coming; it is a day of cruelty and savage, raging anger, destroying the earth and annihilating its sinners.

"Annihilating its sinners." WOW! No seriously WOW! He is coming to kick their asses. And it is our duty to help the Lord when ever possible. But if we let them and their "anger management" and their "politically correctness" control our lives and the way we feel then we will not be ready to purge the earth of the unholy, unwashed, evil hordes that are the enemies of God. And this is their plan with the propaganda and the "oh we have to LOVE everybody" "We need to be more compassionate to our neighbors, especially our neighbors to the south."

NO! [HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] If the have offended me I do not have to be compassionate, I do not have to provide them health care when I can not provide health care to myself.

NO! [HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] If someone has pissed me off then I have the right to express that anger.
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] It is my anger. I own that anger
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] God gave me that anger
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] It is mine to do with what I want
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] Stop fucking telling me to manage it!
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] fucking manage this bitch! [Show the middle finger]
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] this is my right [hold the finger up again] and you will not take it from me!
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] you want to control something control your desire to control me
I will not be your patsy, I will not be your hey boy, I will not be your bitch!
I will make them pay for what they have done. Just as the Lord makes all sinners pay. Because it is my God given right.
Do not think that I am a man who will give up my fucking rights with out a fight. God would be very disappointed in me No all of us if we did not stand up for ourselves.
Think about it! If child is being bullied would you want him to let the bully own him or would you be proud of your child standing up for himself??
DAMN Skippy! You want him to be assertive, you want him to take what is his, it belongs to him he should have it!
God feels the same about us. We are his children and he wants us to succeed. We can not succeed if we are taken out of the game by weird rules, rules that the winners do not follow. Why do they not follow because the rules are only there to keep the competition down?
Get off your asses and compete. Get off your asses and find that middle finger and let that finger be seen. Show that you have a back bone. Use the jaw bone a donkey. That is what your middle finger is it is your donkey jaw bone. Beat their asses and take what is yours. Celebrate in your anger and be free from the evil that tries to bind.

Gen 20:9
Abimelech summoned Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? What sin did I commit against you that would cause you to bring such great guilt on me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should not be done!”

So I want to leave you with some things to think about. If you make someone angry realize that this is their feeling and you should ask for forgiveness, if they do not want to forgive you then that are just tough shit. You forked up and well what your back. If someone makes you mad then let them know they made you mad and that they should watch their back.
It is your feeling and they mad you feel it is their fucking fault.

Some items that need to be passed along.
Thursday baptismal beatings are still very popular and we are starting to have to reschedule some of the converts to another night. We will now hold the ring open earlier on Thursday no-one should have to wait to be right with the lord.
The teen’s club is beginning to flourish and become quite the place to be instead of cruzing, making babies, and doing drugs. The girls have their champion in the ring and she may have shot at taking the title from the boys. The girls keep trying every Friday night but they just need that little extra upmph.
The food bank is actually overflowing so if you are aware of any legal citizens, not H1B visas either I mean Real Americans have them contact Judy McFugly for assistance.
Now lets us turn to our neighbor and show them the finger. HA HA ha

Pink Is Sick!!!

This found on "Pinkspage.com"..

"Release Regarding P!nk's Canceled Athens Show
Hot Beez would like to address the audience regarding the reason for Pink’s cancellation at the Fly BEEyond Festival. Even though she was in Greece, she was not able to perform due to health reasons. She was visited by a doctor at her hotel, and was diagnosed with Gastroenteritis. Her situation got progressively worse during the day, and the show in Athens was canceled just hours before Pink was set to go on stage per her doctor’s orders to not perform. Hot Beez would like to inform the ticket holders that they will be able to cash their tickets by showing the ticket fragment that they hold, from Monday 23 of July until Thursday 31 of August from ticketnet’s office (46 Kifisias avenue – Ampelokipi, 11526, 1st floor. Telephone numbers +30 211 10 86 060). The ticket holders will be served from 9:00 until 21:00 during the period of 07/23/07 to 07/27/07 and from 10:00 to 20:00 during the period of 07/28/07 to 08/31/07. For further information, visit HotBeez.com or call Ticketnet at 211 10 86 060."

Wikipedia.org says this.......

"Gastroenteritis is a general term referring to inflammation or infection of the gastrointestinal tract, primarily the stomach and intestines. It can be caused by infection with bacteria, viruses, or other parasites, or less commonly reactions to new foods or medications. It often involves stomach pain (sometimes to the point of being crippling), diarrhea and/or vomiting, with noninflammatory infection of the upper small bowel, or inflammatory infections of the colon."

diarrhea.....heh heh

diarrhea.....LOL

diarrhea.....heh heh

diarrhea.....Snicker Snicker


I hope she is ok... LOL

And this......
"Globally, gastroenteritis caused 4.6 million deaths in children in 1980 alone, most of these in the developing world."

I hate Mondays

I hate Mondays.

I was just having a bad Monday.
Money troubles, this weekend I had some of those “Let’s fuck with the umpire cock suckers.”
I had some Starbucks zombie try to talk on the cell phone while trying to navigate a behemoth of a urban assault vehicle, all while trying to bend the laws of physics. The dumb twit tried to occupy the same location as me in the universe at the same time.
I was passed on some training that I felt I should have been given but was not because my supervisor does not think that hourly employees are of any use or benefit.
I was just in one of those “FUCK!!, FUCKING!!!, FUCK!@!!!” moods.
I decided to go to a “Ross Dress for less” store to cheer myself up.
Why Ross?? I like the smell of the fabrics, to see what’s on sale and stuff. Also they have my picture behind the counter at ‘Vicky’s’ (Victoria’s secret). Seriously, I know because I was forced to let them take it and I made them let me autograph it.
Any ways I am in the parking lot and I see front row parking, so I slam the Ranger into the parking spot and jump out.
As I get out I see a fairly decent looking older woman and she honks at me, I wave, smile and turn to go in the store.
While I am in the back of the store touching the bras and panties, this lady starts bitching about some driving and parking spots and some other bullshit. I turn and yell’ “What?? Oh Yeah? Fuck you. You fucking cunt!”
She stops mid sentence and looks like I slapped her. Everybody in the store looks at us. So I say, “Oh I am sorry that was wrong. Let us try that again. Here, you start with being a rude fucking bitch.” Pause , “ and I will tell you how to lick my balls.” I laugh and I turn to leave before the manager comes to take my picture. Because the bras and panties are in a great location, sort of tucked in the back behind some tall racks of cotton summer dresses, and I would like to come back later next week.

I have found the cause of racism

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Moron Coaches

Game 7
No real close plays but may be one or two.
My partner was spot on an all of his calls. He was taking his time to make the call. In fact he was making a point to be slow to ensure the calls were right.
After the game the first base coach came up to us on the way out and said to my partner.
You know I have also umpired and I know how hard it is to do the job right. By you really were not in position to make many of the calls. You should......"
"Coach" I say "if you were an umpire in the past then you know how foolish you are sounding to us right now at this moment."
And we exit the field
One statement made under his breath
"That was very rude."
I turned and said "No COACH that was not rude that was some free advice from one umpire to another." and I smiled very friendly/crazy and we turned.

A boy with Down syndrome is at the park with his father. They walk by a baseball field and the boy stops to watch the other boys play a close game of baseball. The boy is speaking to his father about how he would like to play and his father is explaining that the game had already started and that the game was too close to have him join in. The boys playing over hear dad and ask the boy to join in the game.
The score is still very close and the boy is on the "on deck circle". The boy sees the cleats on the boy that just struck out, making the outs two with a tie score.
The boy begins to scream that he wants the spiky shoes too. Left field offers to let the boy borrow his and he'll play bare foot for the last out.
The pitcher lobs the ball across the plate for the boy to hit. The boy drills one into the pitchers ball side wrist shattering every bone and piece of cartilage. Short stop fields the ball cleanly and takes his time to throw the ball to first. As he does the throw goes errant, a little over the first baseman's head. First base then stretches and leans back to reach for the ball and as the first baseman misses the ball the boy stomps on first baseman's right ankle snapping it at the joint.
Right field, who has always thought he should be allowed to play third, notices at that instant that there is a fuzzy caterpillar in the grass at his feet, and holy cow look 7 lady bugs all in one place. How weird is that?
The boy rounds towards second as the catcher picks up the overthrown ball and throws towards second who is still looking at the first baseman's right angle ankle. The ball hits the second baseman in the temple and he drops like a sack of laundry.
The runner now touches second and begins to head to third as the short stop retrieves the ball and throws to third who is preparing for a tag. Third moves into the tag position and receives the ball and starts to throw the tag as the boy drops into a slide. The boy raises a foot and slams it into the third baseman’s groin rupturing his left testicle causing him to drop the ball.
The boy pops up and begins toward home as short again retrieves the ball and throws to home.
The catcher closes the gate as the ball and boy converge at the plate. The boys drops into a text book figure four slide and collides with the catcher's shins, hyper extending both of the catchers knees, tearing the meniscus and ACL of both of his young joints. The catcher falls back like a 300 foot redwood.
The boy touches home, gets up, kicks clay into the crying eyes of the catcher and yells to the field, "You have just been schooled by a retard."
The first baseman who is now permanently crippled sues the city and wins.
The father of the second baseman begins to drink heavily and one night drives his car into a house. The family that lived in the house wins a multi-million dollar lawsuit over the death of a cat, two gold fish, and a hamster. The depressed and despondent mother testifies as a vice president of a large tobacco company, that the tobacco industry has known forever about the cancer and addiction and still produced dangerous products to the public with malice. The attorneys receive 100 billion dollars and the rest of everyone who felt they were injured by cigarettes and tobacco received coupons for free tobacco products and plenty of public service announcements every 13 minutes.
The family of the third baseman started a foundation for the children of one nutted third basemen. The boy was made president and now receives 500,000 dollar yearly salary.
The catcher is a mechanic in service station in a small town in Arizona
The short stop lives in the Dallas-Fort worth area and can be regularly seen on johntv.com with prostitutes.

81162-070821-728752-51

© 2007 All Rights Reserved.

KUCF-WTFH-WTF-Holy Crap

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