Diapers and revenge

 When my children were potty training they would yell from the bathroom “I am done. Come wipe my butt.”

 My wife and I would play rock paper scissors to elect the butt wiper. When I would lose she would smile. And when I won I would smile. It was love pure and simple.

 Now as I get older I now realize that there will be a time when I will be in need of bathroom assistance.

 I do not look forward to the day that I have to yell, “I am done come wipe my butt.” But will they smile?

American Forces In iRAQ: Making America Safer or Less Safer

Some rants that I started and was interrupted too many times to finish and lost the momentums.



American Forces In iRAQ: Making America Safer or Less Safer

No! And I tell you why.

Humans as a race of animals are just that, animals.

Oh sure we clean up nice and we pretend to have compassion, but when we close our eyes at night we are thinking how can I get what’s mine, how can I get more I need more.

We are inherently evil we make rules to control the competition but the winners are the

Ones that ignore the rules. We have war'ed from the time we crawled out of the sea to just one minute ago. From the zombie soccer moms that cut me off to the leaders of mulit-national corporations playing Pepsi (a dice gambling game popular in high school 5 6 years ago) with the pension fund.

The leaders of the corporate world are all about preparing their retirement. It is not about innovation and focuses on the core business it is about the share holder and share holder value because they are the share holder they care about the most.

It is a club and they are all about taking care them selves and their frat buddies and piss on he rest of the fucking world.

How do I get what is mine and how do I get what is yours with out getting caught.

Currently reading Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007

Panhandling the lord By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

I was in the corner store to buy some beer and chips. While I was in the store a bum had walked in. The bum looked at me and said hey father help brother out. I looked him in the eye and “If I was your father I could not be your brother unless I had incestuous relations with my mother"

Deu 27:22
‘Cursed is the one who has sexual relations with his sister, the daughter of either his father or mother.’ Then all the people will say, ‘Amen!’

There are many of you all that know that just could not be possible given the ill will and hatred that my mother brings out
No no padre that is not what I meant.
Hey you get out of my store. The clerk jabbered at the bum I told you to stay away. You have no money and you are just looking to steal from me.
I looked at the bum and I asked, “Is that true?”
Do you steal from this man??
The bum looked at me with embarrassment and nodded.

Jer 7:9
You steal. You murder. You commit adultery. You lie when you swear on oath. You sacrifice to the god Baal. You pay allegiance to other gods whom you have not previously known.

Oba 1:5
“If thieves came to rob you during the night, they would steal only as much as they wanted! If grape pickers came to harvest your vineyards, they would leave some behind for the poor! But you will be totally destroyed!

“Sir do not steal from this man any more. Are you a citizen of this country??”
He nodded
I said, “Then good come by the church tonight and every night for the next week and we will feed you.”
“But father it is not food or shelter that I steal it is liquor.

Hos 4:18
They consume their alcohol, then engage in cult prostitution; they dearly love their shameful behavior.

“Sir I can not help you with your liquor problem. Only you and god can conquer.
You have to want to quit to quit.”
He straightened up and began yell at me about how he was a vet and how he served our country and bla bla bla.
I hit him in the eye and he stopped. He stepped to me and I hit him again.
Abdul began to yell and scream, “No John do not do this in here again.”
The other people looked at the clerk and then looked at me.
The bum stepped up and I clocked him so hard he fell back. I stepped up and thumped him again with the spine of my bible across the bridge of his nose he fell out the doors and the clerk was just yelling and yelling.
The lady at the counter to buy the lotto tickets started screaming for Abdul to make a call to the police and he looked at her then me and just put up his hands.
The lady grabbed her cell and I leapt back at her, took the phone and said, “There is no need for the police as I am a man of the cloth and I answer to a higher law that what the donut moochers represent.”

Exo 24:12
1 The Lord said to Moses, “Come up to me to the mountain and remain there, and I will give you the stone tablets with the law and the commandments that I have written, so that you may teach them.”

She looked at me and the will of god just washed over her and she wet herself right there.
I turned back the vagabond and he was just starting to come around and walk to the door. I kicked the doors with such force that the swung wide into the hobo's face and the glass shattered
The bum began to cry and whimper but not in an apologetic way just a frustrated little kid way.
“Sir, do you repent and ask the lord to fill your heart with his love and to take the desire to drink away from you?”
“Why are you hitting me?”
And I brought the bible down on his head.
“Sir, do you not see the errors of your ways and the path to the gift of everlasting life? are you not at the cross roads yet?”
“I just wanted some money for a bottle of wine.”
“No sir that is not the way to go and I brought my foot to his thigh.”

Eze 26:10
He will cover you with the dust kicked up by his many horses. Your walls will shake from the noise of the horsemen, wheels, and chariots when he enters your gates like those who invade through a city’s broken walls.

“He yelped and asked for a drink.”
There was a young man also in the store and he came out and placed his hand on my shoulder.
“Reverend you need to stop.”
“Young man if you know anything about how the real world works, you know that this man is in trouble and I am trying to reach him.”

Exo 7:4
Pharaoh will not listen to you. I will reach into Egypt and bring out my regiments, my people the Israelites, from the land of Egypt with great acts of judgment.

Deu 4:28
There you will worship gods made by human hands – wood and stone that can neither see, hear, eat, nor smell.

“His god is his drink. It is the drink that he worships and it is a false idol that he needs to let look away from.”
“He must,” and I kicked him two more times, but he just sat there like a child throwing a fit. “Give up the drink” I told the young man and I brought the bible down on the top of his head.

Deu 5:27
You go near so that you can hear everything the Lord our God is saying and then you can tell us whatever he says to you; then we will pay attention and do it.”

“I must help him now” and the you man grabbed my arm I brought the bible spine across his nose and he stepped back.
The hobo was crying now and asking for god to help him
You see I said loudly he is beginning to see the path to righteousness.
“Man are you willing to give up the drink and accept the churches help?”
“Yes father yes please do not beat me anymore.”

Deu 13:17
You must not take for yourself anything that has been placed under judgment. Then the Lord will relent from his intense anger, show you compassion, have mercy on you, and multiply you as he promised your ancestors.

Jer 12:15
But after I have uprooted the people of those nations, I will relent and have pity on them. I will restore the people of each of those nations to their own lands and to their own country.

“Then get thee to the church down the street and tell them the reverend Sleestaxx sent you. They will take care of you.”
The young man looked horrified at me. He was still holding his nose.
“For a priest you sure are a fucker!”
“What do you mean kid?”
“You did not have to beat that man.”
“No I did”
“He was stealing and he was worshiping the drink and he forgot his way.”
“I had to show him back the right path. I had to get past the drink and the years of self loathing so that he could hear the words of the lord.”

Num 12:6
The Lord said, “Hear now my words: If there is a prophet among you, I the Lord will make myself known to him in a vision; I will speak with him in a dream.

“No you are a bully and you shoved your religion down his throat.”
“No he asked for help.”

Exo 22:23
If you afflict them in any way and they cry to me, I will surely hear their cry,

“I gave it to him. He said help a brother out.”
“That is not what he meant.”
“No that is exactly what he meant. If he wanted what you say he wanted he would have asked you or the nice lady in there instead.”
“The lord put him in the store at that time for him to meet me. The lord has plans for that man. I know because the god speaks to me even now.”

Exo 19:9
The Lord said to Moses, “I am going to come to you in a dense cloud, so that the people may hear when I speak with you and so that they will always believe in you.” And Moses told the words of the people to the Lord.

“No you are wrong.”
“Ok young man, are you asking for the lord to talk to you also?”
“Oh like you could get me to see your god.”
“I brought the bible down on the top of his young head.”
“He is your god too young man do you not hear and see him yet?”
“What the fuck?”
“Wrong answer” and I brought the bible down again and he dropped to his knees and began to cover up.

Zec 3:5
Then I spoke up, “Let a clean turban be put on his head.” So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him, while the angel of the Lord stood nearby.

I brought the bible down again and he cried out "oh my god" "Oh my god"
“There you are beginning to see now aren't you punk.”
And I began to just drop the bible down on his head over and over again.
He asked me to stop and I did.
There son, do you see the light?
“Yes father I do see.” He sobbed, “How could I have missed this for so long?”
“The lord has us out here for a reason.”

Mat 10:8
Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give.

“I will see you in church on Sunday young man.”
“Yes father, you will.”
“On Thursday you can try to have a rematch you want.”
“Will you be using the bible?”
“No just the boxing gloves”
“Then it is a date old man.”
I helped him to his feet. And I already showed him the way.
I went back to the store where the older lady was standing there with her mouth open.
“Ma'am do you know the lord?”
She nodded and I gave back her cell phone.
She left and I looked to Abdul.
“John, what about my door? It is broken.”
“Abdul you know I will fix the door I have always fixed the door in past right?”
“Yes.”
“John your-no er ah.... god is very powerful, isn't he?”
“Abdul I know you do not believe in the same messiah. But until you ask for help in finding the way I can not help you. You may find the way on another path that does not need my counsel.”
“Abdul call the glass people and tell them to bill the church they know the routine and so do you. I am tired and I want to go home.”

Deu 25:18
How they met you along the way and cut off all your stragglers in the rear of the march when you were exhausted and tired; they were unafraid of God.

2Sa 17:29
Honey, curds, flocks, and cheese. For they said, “The people are no doubt hungry, tired, and thirsty there in the desert.”

“Everyone I would like you all too welcome Scott and Patrick.”
“Come on let have a big hello and round of applause. I want them to feel welcomed and at home.”
Scott will be helping the single mothers group with their chores and Patrick will be in need of constant counseling until he is dry and confident.
The parking lot was a joy to see last weekend every one taking their time to leave and not honking or yelling. There were no accidents.
Please let us do that again this weekend and every week end from now one.
I will have Patrick work the parking lot detail. he will have the same authority as me and the same baseball bat.
Please stop in the foyer for coffee and cookies. Please congratulate the girls champion again and make sure to stop by the boys and point and laugh as they lost again last Friday night.
I understand it was close....NOT....
Two rounds and the boys' champion taps out. What is that?

Keep your pimp hand strong and go in peace.

Amen

Los payasos comieron a mi esposa y los demonios comieron a mi hijo.

Pro 30:33

For as the churning of milk produces butter and as punching the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.

Do not honk at me. I can not stand it when some poor sumbitch is in such a hurry that if my car is not moving forward the nanosecond the light thought about turning green he honks his horn at me. Are you in a hurry? Where are you in such a hurry to be? To do what, golf? To have coffee with the rest of the neighborhood hens, getting the kids to soccer, baseball, to go home and fuck the gardener or baby sitter. Seriously what is so important that you do not even have a siren?
Nothing pisses me off more than honking at me. Now that is the quickest was to ruin my day. It will piss me off to the point that my anger becomes a literal high. I get a buzz from the stress level. There are those that get off on pain, there are those that get off on causing pain and then there is me, I get drunk on anger. My head begins to swell and get light and my vision gets sort of fuzzy at the edges.
So there I was on a Wednesday morning going to work for the bastards that well never mind. I am at the light. The light turns green I look to be sure that some other fucker is not running late and then this bitch honks her horn.
Seriously, green light, 1 second, horn, 2second just like that. I hit my break I slam into park and I pop my hood. She is too close to go around and she waves her hands at me I smile and shrug and point at the hood. I go over and lift the hood and bend in like I am looking at something I wiggle a pretend wire and then I go around to the door and I open the door and she honks again I look at her and I yell, “My car is too old to be scared, so stop honking”. And I see her mouth “mother fucker” as the light turns red again. I pop the trunk and I get out a golf club. And beat on the car with one of my golf clubs. I do not play golf but I do own golf clubs. I see her lift her cell phone to her ear. I charge to the driver side and punch the window. Now I know that some of you all know that punch. I reached into the car and grabbed the cell and said, “No calls right now we have an appointment.”
I looked around to see if anybody else was looking or starting to use their cells and the car next to me was so I leaned in and smashed my head through the window and grabbed the cell from the little teenage girl telling her, “It is OK, I am speaking for God himself.” and that she need not call anybody because I am the most important person right now.
Across the intersection there was another cell going into use.
OK I have got a good 5 maybe 7 minutes.
I ripped off my shirt to the morning sun and jumped on the hood of the bitch’s Lexus sux2bu suburban assault vehicle and I proclaimed.
You all need to slow the fuck down!

Prov 25:16
When you find honey, eat only what is sufficient for you, lest you become stuffed with it and vomit it up.

The proverb means that anything overindulged in can become sickening. The lord teaches you through the verse that moderation is wise in the pleasures of life. And he fucking means it, slow down, your race to the end times is at an insane pace.

"Do not honk at me. Los payasos comieron a mi esposa y los demonios comieron a mi hijo"

Luke 4:9:13

Then the devil brought him (Jesus) to Jerusalem, had him stand on the highest point of the temple, and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here, for it is written, ‘He will command his angels concerning you, to protect you,’ and ‘with their hands they will lift you up, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’” Jesus answered him, “It is said, ‘You are not to put the Lord your God to the test.’” So when the devil had completed every temptation, he departed from him until a more opportune time.

Now you see there slow down stop trying to test God and the Lord by being in such a fucking hurry that you have to honk at me. You will get the end times soon enough.

Rev 14:11

And the smoke from their torture will go up forever and ever, and those who worship the beast and his image will have no rest day or night, along with anyone who receives the mark of his name.”

Deu 23:8

Children of the lord may enter the assembly of the Lord.

Some of you should have your kids give up soccer. Face it your kid is too fat to play they are probably doing more damage then good and they are happier sitting around in the AC playing video games.

Isa 35:10

those whom the Lord has ransomed will return that way. They will enter Zion with a happy shout. Unending joy will crown them, happiness and joy will overwhelm them; grief and suffering will disappear.

Be happy, enjoy life, slow down, but above all stop with the blowing of the horns. Do not torture yourself to the point that you are invading in my space and my world.

Mat 6:16
“When you fast, do not look sullen like the hypocrites, for they make their faces unattractive so that people will see them fasting. I tell you the truth, they have their reward.


The lord wants us happy.

Isa 51:3

Certainly the Lord will console Zion; he will console all her ruins. He will make her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the Garden of the Lord. Happiness and joy will be restored to her, thanksgiving and the sound of music.

Est 8:17

Throughout every province and throughout every city where the king’s edict and his law arrived, the Jews experienced happiness and joy, banquets and holidays. Many of the resident peoples pretended to be Jews, because the fear of the Jews had overcome them.

Stop killing yourselves to get there. Either leave earlier or accept the fact you are late but if you all honk at me I will exercise my God given power and talent. Because God has ordained me and he has infused his power and will within me. He granted me the rights to beat you or kill you as I see fit.

Luk 12:5

But I will warn you whom you should fear: Fear the one who, after the killing, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him!

At this point I heard sirens approaching and I knew that my sermon must end. I jumped down closed my hood, and roared off in a cloud of noxious blue smoke.
My friends I am here to tell you to slow down. Pace yourself, you have a long happy full life ahead of you. If you are traveling at light speed and hit a wall it will not hurt, it will kill you. If you need to be somewhere that requires the guy in front of you to be psychic and know when the light is changing then you need a siren or you need to slow the fuck down.
I know that contract prevents me from delivering sermons to other than the congregation but I do not think that was so much a sermon as counseling and anger management.
And if you all want to get pissy I believe that my attorney will prove in court that I was sun worshiping and talking to myself.
I will remind everyone that my door is always open and I enjoy nothing more than counseling and discussing current events.
Baptismal beatings are now an all day event on Thursdays. Christenings are still Sunday afternoons and no I do not beat up babies.
I was asked that by a new couple that recently joined. And I explained to them that babies are innocent and only become corrupt after being left I the care of grownups. The beatings are to help those that make the wrong decisions on purpose. The beatings are part of the learning process.
Cookies and coffee are sponsored by the Silver Sword and Purple Shield. Please stay long enough to meet two new people and remember to slow down.

Moron Coaches

Game 7
No real close plays but may be one or two.
My partner was spot on an all of his calls. He was taking his time to make the call. In fact he was making a point to be slow to ensure the calls were right.
After the game the first base coach came up to us on the way out and said to my partner.
You know I have also umpired and I know how hard it is to do the job right. By you really were not in position to make many of the calls. You should......"
"Coach" I say "if you were an umpire in the past then you know how foolish you are sounding to us right now at this moment."
And we exit the field
One statement made under his breath
"That was very rude."
I turned and said "No COACH that was not rude that was some free advice from one umpire to another." and I smiled very friendly/crazy and we turned.

Fucken A

I grew up a poor punk rocker. I did not find anything that identified my feelings about life better than fast hard 3 chord punk. I did how ever like KISS. This one rock and roll band caused many hours of chiding and teasing from the other punkers in my circle. Then came the band redkross they did KISS cover tunes in their set and then KISS became cool.
Then when I was back at home I started to hang with a couple of head bangers as they were just about as outcast as my self but with longer hair and well I started to find other hard bands to listen to Motorhead, Girls School, and hey I found a vein of music that was new and just as energy filled as my old stuff.
Now fast forward thirty years later I find that Motorhead still gets me Into the mood of using my car as a weapon and I feel that I have hand enough shit sandwiches and well fuck you all. I also find that the band ACDC is actually good and they make me want to tell most of anyone to fuck off.
But the classics still tell me that everyone is lying to me and that they will never fulfill any promise.
I realized today that the price of gas has eaten my first raise In 3 years. So now any Increase from now until the next fucken raise will put me in the fucking hole even more. Since there was no raise for 3 years and the cost of living and the cost of capital to operate my life in a safe manner has proven to be greater than all the raises and bonuses since 1999.
That is what education will do for you.... You get a little bit of knowledge and you apply the knowledge and then you find that every mother fucker is really out to fuck you and get what ever they want for them selves and they really do not care about the environment, the ........ Nevermind I am getting into a point of information that can get me into trouble.


I LOVE THE WORLD and I AM SORRY FOR BEING A CONSUMER... can I have another cup of kool aid???

Katrina losers get ANOTHER helping hand

Housing aid for Katrina victims extended until 2009

Here



fucking bastards
2004 to 2008 4 years free living expense for some wind and rain. Hurricane lottery! What a fucking joke. These fuckers need to get a fucking job, They need to go the fuck home and be a burden on their fucking states welfare program. they need to stop whining about how they lost everything. Fuck that your shit has been replaced. you have been given more money that i made when i got married and moved to the great state. eat shit and stop fucking whining man do they make pussies in Louisiana or what? get your head in the fucking game and get your shit stowed right. get to work, keep up, build yourself a future and pay me back some of my goddamn tax money. Get that faggot mayor to pay the feds back for the dome rebuild because he used his voters for an excuse for a rebuild. he was not out to make a safe shelter he knew that dome was not meant to house refugees and he also knew you fuckers would trash the place and the storm would be a reason to have tax money to rebuild.
Fuck that and fuck you all.
Go back to eating bugs and shrimp. what a fucking waste of human skin. what drag on the forward progress of our country. fuck this is why god is going to kill us all with frogs and boils. This is why the fucking Chinese are going to own the world and we are all going to be their slaves. fuck fuck fuck
get a fucking clue you dip shits!
ahh fuck it!
it all does not matter i am the only one that is sane and sees the shit going on. everyone else is yeah ok fuck me in ass some more please. i do not even know i am getting screwed oh what a lovely day hey i am going to go to walmart and perpetuate the support of the Chinese global conquest.
Fuck it gimme that damn cup of kool-aid. maybe if i drink enough i can get high like the rest of the fucking world and not care any more.

Bla bla bla bla