Movie: Battleship
Format: On Demand
Running time: 131
Rating: **
Value: **
(Keep the money; I just want the time from my life back)
I wondered
how they were going to turn a board game into a movie. Thank god they used
computer graphics! But the story was weak and the acting was poor. Not a single
good acting job in over two hours. Not even the Japanese speaking actors, (Tadanobu
Asano) Captain Yugi Nagata, were believable. I know I could not understand
everything they said but at least when I watch Godzilla I BELIEVE that the
monster is coming. Not so in this film.
We discover an earth like planet close to our own and we
like idiots try to make contact.
Aliens answer our phone call and we welcome them with
bullets and mortar shells. I think the only reason they (the aliens) tried so
hard to phone home was to tell their friends what a bunch of incompetent idiots
our navy was.
Typical bad boy brother (Taylor Kitsch) Lieutenant Alex
Hopper is forced to live in his
brother’s shadow and prove himself to himself, his crew mates and his girlfriend
(Brooklyn Decker) Sam Shane’s(??) father
(Liam Neeson) Admiral Shane. All while facing the loss of his brother (Alexander
Skarsgård) Commander Stone Hopper (ha ha Stone Hopper) and “bad ass” aliens.
Liam must have owed a favor. Be careful Liam Burt Reynolds lost himself
returning favors.
Rhianna’s debut
appearance as Petty Officer Cora 'Weps' Raikes, was weak and unbelievable. Her acting was flat and she played into the
“what she would be like in real life”. And, no, there is no scene of her
sunbathing on the deck of the destroyer.
The film hired a few handicapped and retired vets who did
not know how to act, but grand kudos for getting up there and doing their best
like they did when they protected our country.
209 million dollars spent. 302 million made in the box
office and I am still out 2 hours of my life. That’s fine I would have spent
that touching my penis.
Put down the remote and go outside it would be better spent.
I wasted the time so you would not have to.
