(TWT)First Blog

I started a blog when my wife became ill. I thought it was a way to keep everyone informed. But the computer at the hospital was crap and my sister in-law could not grasp the blog thing at the time.
I just took her letters and posted them. Here is the first one:


Dear family and friends,

Most of you have already been made well aware of our situation, but for those who have not, Ill start from the beginning. my wife became suddenly and very seriously ill last Sunday. She was admitted into the Regional Hospital on Monday with a diagnosis of atypical pneumonia. On Wednesday morning, after not responding to any of the therapies, she was heavily sedated and put on life support. That afternoon we were given the diagnosis of ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome). I can't tell you why or how this developed because her doctors are still in the dark themselves, in fact they say we may never really know. I guess that’s neither here nor there, however, as it doesn’t change the diagnosis. ARDS is very serious and she is in critical condition. I don’t fully understand ARDS, and I hope this is correct, but from what I have learned over the past few days, ARDS is severe damage to the lungs that affects the lungs ability to oxygenate the blood. There is no magic pill that will instantly cure her. The doctors goals at this time are to keep her stable and to keep everything working long enough for her lungs to heal. A few things that you should know with ARDS...first that recovery is like a roller coaster. There are MANY ups and downs. Secondly, progress is made in tiny baby steps. We have had some steps forward and some steps back, but all in all I think we are a little bit ahead.
For the past 3 days we have been experiencing that roller coaster. She is still sedated and she hasn’t woken up since Wednesday morning. We asked for a second opinion yesterday morning, not because we thought the diagnosis would change, but because we wanted to explore treatment options that her doctor wasn’t willing to try. We got our second opinion Friday night and the new doctor made a few changes. He switched her from volume controlled ventilation to pressure controlled ventilation, and he turned her onto her stomach for 12 hours. This morning (Saturday) her numbers were looking a little better. Today her blood work has come back improved, and the pneumonia is gone. Her ventilator was down to 60% (from 100%) and she was holding steady. By the way, our ventilator goal is 21%, and you will be seeing these numbers a lot as I update you all. Halfway through the day we were given the option of having my wife transported to another hospital, one with more treatment options. She was stable enough today to make the trip. The Regional is a good hospital but we were at the limit as to what they could offer her. We made the decision to have her transferred by helicopter to Methodist Hospital in the Medical Center. Since her arrival this afternoon at Methodist she has undergone more tests and procedures, she hates being "mucked" with, and all the activity has set her back a bit, however she was looking pretty stable when I left the hospital at 10 pm. The ventilator was pushed back up to 100%, but she is back down to 70% now and her vital signs are improving. They have brought in a special bed that seems to have good results with ARDS patients. She is being tilted to a 90 degree angle, back and forth, all the time. She was put on Nitric Oxide (sp?) tonight also, another treatment that they have found helpful in some ARDS patients, however they just called me and said that the nighttime doctor just came in and took her off saying that she doesn’t fit the criteria. We will have to wait until tomorrow morning to talk to her doctor about this. We were really feeling good about Nitric Oxide, as the ARDS research we have done shows this to be one of the better treatments available. The availability of it was also one of the reasons we had her transferred.
Her doctor at Methodist told me tonight that the best thing we could all do at this time is to have faith, be optimistic and pray. So I am asking you all for your prayers for my wife.
I will update everyone as often as I can. You are all still welcome to call also. We have to turn our cell phones off in the ICU and I apologize that I have missed so many calls.
Thank you for the prayers and the support! I know that when my wife pulls out of this she will be grateful for it all! If I have left anyone out, or you have questions please feel free to email me back. I tried to think of everyone, but my brain isn’t functioning perfectly right now. You can also forward this email to anyone I missed. I figure the more people praying the louder we will be and God will hear us!


_______________________
Out of respect for my wife I will tell you that she is better and I took her name out.
Now the second opinion was because my brother in law was being a shit head and talking disrespectful about the hospital and staff. he said he would not bring his dog to this hospital and here I had my wife.
I was under the impression that at some time I may have a fight with my wife's family about my care of my wife so I asked for a second opinion.
After the doctor flipped her and she got a little better a "bird" came into the room and said that i should maybe consider moving her to another hospital.
She was under for two weeks and if you do nay research on ARDS you will find it both scary because it seems everybody dies or everybody is disabled and then
you will find it amazing that she got better and is not in need of an O2 tank (my sister in law was planning the funeral before she was dead).

I read this post and the others I cry. Hell i cry every time we have a fight and i think about the time almost lost her. She does not see me cry but I do. This had to have been the scariest time of my life.

________________________
I have taken that blog down because I wanted to keep it up but the sadness kills me. and the thought of losing her weakens me so I try not to touch those feelings too often.
________________________
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The Weakness of Other Gods By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

I was at the downtown outdoor mall that is on MLK Blvd. I was walking by the old movie theater that is now just a burnt out shell of a build that probably smells of urine and cooking heroin.
When by chance I walked by a soapbox preacher, I, being one that enjoys a good evangelizing stopped and listened to this man prophesize and posture in the name of the lord.
He had maybe 3 bums tottering on the brink of passing out face down on the concrete and an empty guitar box open exposing the worn red velvet. I believe was expecting hand outs for the passersby but they all wanted to stay clear of the one toothless bum that looked like he was about to puke into the case.

Deu 32:26
“I said, ‘I want to cut them in pieces. I want to make people forget they ever existed.

He spoke of the END OF THE WORLD and how the end times were upon us. Screaming to passersby, asking if they were prepared for the great rapture.
He wailed about how the anti-Christ is among us right now in their very city. Just two blocks away.
Now this was good stuff. I wanted to know who the anti-Christ was maybe I could make an appointment with him and whoop his ass once before the end of the world came.

Deu 32:27
But I fear the reaction of their enemies, for their adversaries would misunderstand and say, “Our power is great, and the Lord has not done all this!”’

Deu 32:28
They are a nation devoid of wisdom, and there is no understanding among them.

As that would be the match of the all eternity. Reverend John Sleestaxx whoops the ass of the Satan's son. He has already made Satan cry numerous times on the ball field. Why not his son?
The preacher then rambled on about the quotes in the bible on tithe and taxes, and tributes to the lord.
And there it was a hand full of change dropped into the case by a smartly dressed business man in a hurry.
The bums seemed to break out of their trance just as the coin hit the velvet, like a victim wakes when the hypnotist snaps his fingers.
They looked around and at the preacher as he just looked up at the benefactor to thank him.
The bums reached down and started to steal the money. I was about to step up when the preacher kicked out his foot and connected with the head of one of the hobos.
The hobo yelped and cried out and the other two ran like school girls.
The money still in the case and the smelly hobos gone he turned his attention to me.

Deu 32:29
I wish that they were wise and could understand this, and that they could comprehend what will happen to them.”

Deu 32:30
How can one man chase a thousand of them and two pursue ten thousand; unless their Rock had delivered them up, and the Lord had handed them over?

He looked at me and said, "You there, are you not going to pay your tithe?"
I stepped closer and said "Why tithe to your case when I have a whole flock that tithes to me?"
Tell me the name of the anti-Christ and I shall help your cause.
As I got close for a real conversation I realized I did not want to get too close.
He is an alien from space and he hides in the capitol building, protected by the government.
Shit I thought he had something there for a minute.

Deu 32:31
For our enemies’ rock is not like our Rock, as even our enemies concede.

Deu 32:32
For their vine is from the stock of Sodom, and from the fields of Gomorrah. Their grapes contain venom, their clusters of grapes are bitter.

He smelled of thunderbird and rotten teeth. He had fleas in his beard.
He grabbed me and told me I was going to hell.
I laughed and said no I am not going to hell and that you sir are crazy and smelly. Get away from me.

Deu 32:33
Their wine is snakes’ poison, the deadly venom of cobras.

Deu 32:34
“Is this not stored up with me?” says the Lord “Is it not sealed up in my storehouses?

He said that I was a sinner and that I had to repent on the evilness of my ways.
I smacked him flat upside the head with my pimp hand and bible.
He staggered and fell to his knees.
I did not see it but he reached into his waist band and pulled out a knife and charged me.

Deu 32:35
I will get revenge and pay them back at the time their foot slips; for the day of their disaster is near, and the impending judgment is rushing upon them!”

Deu 32:36
The Lord will judge his people, and will change his plans concerning his servants; when he sees that their power has disappeared, and that no one is left, whether confined or set free.

My reaction when I saw the silver glint in his hand was to bring up my bible in two hands. Just in time the bible intercepted the blade and flesh connection and the blade plunged all the way through the book and stopped with 1 inch of the Pakistani metal tip sticking out.
I looked and saw that this fuck had ruined another bible. He had cut the word of the lord while trying to cut the speaker of the lord’s word.

Deu 32:37
He will say, “Where are their gods, the rock in whom they sought security,

Deu 32:38
who ate the best of their sacrifices, and drank the wine of their drink offerings? Let them rise and help you; let them be your refuge!

I twisted the good book and the knife came free of his hand. I brought my right back across his face and he cried out in pain.
I pulled the knife from the bible and let it fall to the ground and I began to beat the preacher on top of the head with the spine of my King James Bible.
Over and over I brought the good word down upon his head screaming for him to repent and pray for salvation. He dropped to his knees some more and fell silent.
I began to kick him in the ribs until I heard on crack.
The man was not going to give in.
Finally as my foot began to hurt he said oh lord why, why have you forsaken me?
I said that is the wrong god you are worshiping, a lesser lord and cheap imitation of the true lord our god.
You must now see the real god and I lift him to his feet. He reached out and grabbed my hand.
And bit me!
The fucker bit me.
Man I must have beat on his ass for another 10 minutes before he began to plead for the lord to save him.
My arms were tired

Isa 57:10
Because of the long distance you must travel, you get tired, but you do not say, ‘I give up.’ You get renewed energy, so you don’t collapse.

But they were not too tired to take him up into my arms and welcome him to the lord's light, the lord's love.
He wept on my shoulder and wailed that he was not worthy of the love that was bestowed upon him for he had worshiped the wrong gods. He had listened to prophesies of the weaker gods and now realized that he had been preaching the wrong words to the people everyday at lunch.
He realized the error of his ways and immediately began to plan his atonement.
he was to begin telling everyone the truth. He was going to tell everyone the lord that he saw and that the end times are not the concern and that the righteous must know the true and stronger god that he has now found.
He was to tell every one of the prophet that was Sleestaxx and the great brutal teachings that I bestowed upon him.
He was going to tell everyone that I have a message for everyone that everyone must see me.
I have a message for all of humanity.
You are all evil. God knows you are evil. You know you are evil. You will always be evil if you do not listen to the messages that I bring to you. The lord has chosen me to communicate the message. He has heaped upon my shoulders the most laborious and heaviest of burdens. That is the burden of saving your evil souls. It is my responsibility to bring you all out of the darkness. Protect you from evil and lead you to greener pastures.
And you all just do not help. You do not listen. You think that Thursdays and Sundays are all you have to do. But you need to help me help you. I need you all evangelize. if you can not evangelize then I need you to point them to me. Promote me. Buy my book for yourself and a friend. Tell everyone you meet to get in the game, step up to the plate, play to win.
The Doughnuts and coffee are courtesy of the old ladies that sit around the chapel all week ling to listen to the gossip and the prayers of the rest of you.
Kill each other in the parking lot for all I care because you all act like fucking children at this time of the day.
Fuck off and amen.




Currently reading


Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007

(TWT)Myspace Addicted

Myspace addicted???
Hell no !!!
That would be the denial phase I started Sunday morn when i began to think about it,
Then later while showering I was wondering if Amber Adrianna and Betty had finally moved to my town.
I wondered did they find someone else to hang with? Is that why they have not called me?
I had gone out to their web page and looked at their pictures that they tried to upload but had trouble??? LOL. I know why they had trouble they were naykid.
Then I thought about how at street lights I wonder if the light will stay red long enough for me to find a hot spot, connect to the network, configure the browser and login to myspace.
Damn! Why do I have to use my whole e-mail address? Do not honk!
The browser on my phone is to light and not render all the pages and all the comments.
so I get a water down version of myspace.
Like china white too stepped on with baby formula. But I hit it anyways. And the rush to know that I have 35 subscribers.. Wait I had 36.. Oh damn that last post about how god told me to kick the ass of some homeless guy because he said the end of the world had come made someone pissed off.
Or maybe it was the one that Henry Rollins is a whinny baby and needs to get over himself.
Oh no what do I do??
I see that the friend requests had diminished oh no maybe I have dated myself or maybe my content is not fresh any more.
FUCK! what am I going to do.
I really want to break 400 by the new year and have 666 by my birthday.
I HAVE TO HAVE A SUBSDCRIBER BASE at 100 by Feb. or I am going to DIE!!!!!!
No I am not addicted but I think that maybe I think too much about what everyone else is thinking about me and how can I make people I do not know like me.
this is so against my nature that just putting it down here scares the bejezzus out of me.
I heard my family talking about an intervention. Maybe I am addicted but right now I have it completely under control.
_______________________________________________________________________
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Currently

reading
:

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007

Our World Is Going To Hell In A Hand Basket By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

The Basket Is Labeled MTV



Our society is under siege. Our defenses are tuned to the wrong enemy. While we fight for our country and our security and what we hold near and dear our future is being attacked.
The enemy is right inside of our houses and the center point of many of our lives.
I am talking about the television and the content that is on the television. Our future is our children and they are under attack every minute of every day while they are watching television. I see it everyday when I am plagued with nightmares. I see it everyday when I turn on the television just to get the news of the day and the weather.
I see it when I see 12 year old girls dressed like hookers and whores and the boys dressed like they live in the ghetto. Mind you these clothes look like ghetto but they are clean and expensive name brands but none the less they wear the shit baggy and loose and they strut like the shit heads that rap.
The kids do nothing but look for things that make them happy. The kids today think they are the most important thing and their happiness is more important.

2Ti 3:4
treacherous, reckless, conceited, loving pleasure rather than loving God.

Eze 11:2
The Lord said to me, “Son of man, these are the men who plot evil and give wicked advice in this city.

I would like to talk about the sinners at MTV. The pretentious sinners of MTV. The perpetrators of sin propaganda and brainwashers of our youth. The world is going to hell in a hand basket and the basket is labeled MTV. MTV displays near nudity and alternative life styles. As if these are normal things in the world. The broadcast station purports that loose sexual morals are cool, hip, and that only the smart cool kids are having sex. And to be right in the universe and to be accepted is to have sex with as many people as possible and as often as you can.

Jer 23:14
But I see the prophets of Jerusalem doing something just as shocking. They are unfaithful to me and continually prophesy lies. So they give encouragement to people who are doing evil, with the result that they do not stop their evildoing. I consider all of them as bad as the people of Sodom and the citizens of Jerusalem as bad as the people of Gomorrah.

MTV and the rest of television content for that matter is teaching every one of our young people, you know the ones that will be in charge of our world very shortly, that everyone is gay and everyone wants to be gay and that being gay is ok.

1Co 6:9
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! The sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, passive homosexual partners, practicing homosexuals,


They say that you should live in a strange city, with very dysfunctional people, and have your dysfunctional life and personal drama splayed out for the world to see. You should have sex with you house mates and that is ok. you should drink to the point of poisoning and throw up and then fight with your housemates. MTV shows videos that purports that is cool to be a pimp or a girl with loose morals. It is the way of the world to be a criminal and carry a gun.

1Ti 1:10
sexually immoral people, practicing homosexuals, kidnappers, liars, perjurers – in fact, for any who live contrary to sound teaching.

Why just last week I saw a teenager in my neighborhood walking the street like he was a gangster in the city. He had a paper bag in his hand and this bag was not like a bag he had just got from shopping at the gas station, this bag was well worn and the object inside was too small to be a porno mag like when I was young.
I knew where he lived as I had cut his lawn for many summers and watched this spoiled middle class punk grow up. I had spoken to father and mother many times. I knew they worked hard to keep their young from being exposed to bad influences.
I stopped got out of my truck. I asked him what was in the bag and where did he live.
Yes I was confronting a middle class gangster wanna be.
He took the posture of a rap singer posing for a CD cover.
He told me "That is none of your business old man". "I do not have to tell you anything."
I stepped to him and I said, “Son tell me what you are doing on this middle class street pretending to be a gang member.”
“I ain't pretending you old fart.”

Ecc 7:10
Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these days?” for it is not wise to ask that.

“Yeah ok your parents are filing a 1040a with a combined income of 80k or better and you want to tell me know about oppression and being poor?"
“Just tell me you ain't got a gun in bag and I will not tell your daddy what a moron you are.”
He gets very agitated and says "you think I got a gun in here man? is that it? Well you better step before I put you under."
I stepped closer
I was now in striking distance
I reached out, and bitch slapped his ass and he staggers back. I do not think he has ever been hit in his life. he just stood there and looked at me in total shock. Trying to comprehend the last moment.

Num 22:29
And Balaam said to the donkey, “You have made me look stupid; I wish there were a sword in my hand, for I would kill you right now.”

I reached down took the bag from him.
Yeah there was the .38 pistol fully loaded. This stupid middle class spoiled punk was holding a gun in a bag on a quiet suburban street.
I smacked him again "What are you doing? Are you protecting your turf from the Chinese mafia?? What?” I yelled into his face, “Are you worried that your hoes were going to get the wandering eye?"
“Are you dealing heron, smack, horse, china white and you are worried about some crazy strung out junkie jumping you for your stash??”
I smacked him again and he held his face and began to cry. Clearly this dumb piece of shit had never been hit in his life.
"Go tell your daddy I have his gun and to come see me."
Stupid fucking kids.

Jer 51:17
All idolaters will prove to be stupid and ignorant. Every goldsmith will be disgraced by the idol he made. For the image he forges is merely a sham. There is no breath in any of those idols.

MTV's shows have young adults in various stages of undress touching and gyrating and simulating sex. They have fat over the hill singers stumbling over stage. They have plastic Jews telling stupid moronic jokes to propped up drunken slobs from the entertainment industry.
They portray the life of young Americans as nothing but a fucking party. It is no wonder that foreigners hate us and talk about us like we are idiots. if it is wet stick it in and worry not about any consequences. "Just Do It."
There was no fucking party when I grew up! And I know there was not fucking party when you grew up either.

Neh 6:9
All of them were wanting to scare us, supposing, “Their hands will grow slack from the work, and it won’t get done.” So now, strengthen my hands!

Every real life problem can be distilled and solved in 30 mins from drug addiction to sex addition. It takes a life time to crawl from the gutter to the sidewalk to a house. It takes a life time to realize that your mother does not love you. It takes a life time to come to terms with the evil that has been thrusted on you.
Sometimes it takes longer. There are people that I know from long ago that are still in the mess they call life. It can not be taken care with a few well placed jokes and catch phrases.

Hos 10:13
But you have plowed wickedness; you have reaped injustice; you have eaten the fruit of deception. Because you have depended on your chariots; you have relied on your many warriors.


[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU MTV!
[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU!

Jer 5:27
Like a cage filled with the birds that have been caught, their houses are filled with the gains of their fraud and deceit. That is how they have gotten so rich and powerful.


[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU Entertainment tonight!
[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU Music industry!
[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU Hollywood
[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU Real Life!
Nothing fucking real about that show other than the stupidity and moronic actions of the youth that are being exploited.
MTV reports that everybody is in need of surgical perfection regardless of the danger. That you are not right until you have had half a dozen surgeries to correct the perfection that god made.


2Th 2:10
and with every kind of evil deception directed against those who are perishing, because they found no place in their hearts for the truth so as to be saved.

People die everyday from surgery and everyday someone watches television and decide they could look better if they had surgery. People die everyday pimping, dealing, whoring, and being a gangster but everyday MTV tells our youth that it is cool to do these things
I would like to hear tales of how the dogs of the south and the hounds of hell descended and copulated with the dead bodies of MTV producers, writers and directors.

Jer 22:17
But you are always thinking and looking for ways to increase your wealth by dishonest means. Your eyes and your heart are set on killing some innocent person and committing fraud and oppression.

I would like to see MTV setup up a reality show following a few junkies and whores around the city trying to scrape a living and an existence. Maybe follow a drug dealer to a turf war and watch his body twitch and jerk as his blood ran onto the street.
How about following a couple of runaways and see the twisted ways they are made to keep alive on the street.

Pro 12:24
The diligent person will rule, but the slothful will become a slave.

I want to thank everyone who has helped in the building of the youth center. I want to thank everyone for the wonderful donations to furnish the center. I want to thank the single mothers group for the house cleaning they provide the rectory and the church.
I want to thank the women’s auxiliary for the coffee and donuts that are waiting for us in the foyer.
I would like to thank the choir for the lovely singing they provided today.
And I would like to thank Demarini for the baseball bat sponsorship.
Please honk in the parking lot so that I may test my new bats.


Go in peace and love they neighbor


Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

We Played Pranks By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

On warm nights when school was out for the summer my friends and I would play pranks on the neighborhood.
Sometimes we dressed a straw man up to look like a kid. and placed the straw man on the road side with one of our bicycles. People would screech to a stop and the women would cry "oh my lord that poor baby" and then the man would get out and walk over to find it was made of straw. And the men would curse. Not loud because they did not want the women to hear. They would turn to the lady passenger and tell them it was prank and the women would get so mad.
The women would holler into the night "The devil you kids, the devil. You will be sorry one day for the pranks you play."
We would laugh and laugh and laugh. One time Billy fell out of the tree we was hiding in because he was laughing so hard.
Broke both his legs and he was never ever allowed to come out any more on account he had to use crutches and his legs were in braces.
We would run past his house and holler late at night. Sometimes we would go to his window with our straw man and tell him about the people that stopped. He laughed at the stories, we all thought that it made him happy but I think he cried allot after we left.
One time we found a car on the road in front of an old house that was forever vacant. The keys were in the ignition. We had all driven our daddies’ trucks on country roads and the house was suppose to be empty, we thought they were up to no good and we would just barrow the car for a few hours maybe even bring the car back. Maybe they would never know.
So we got into the car and let out the gear and brake and pushed the car down the road.
When we thought we were safe we all got in and started the car up. Man the car backfired and we jumped. Jimmy jammed down on the gas peddle and we took off like a mule that had been stung.
We road around town, we took turns driving. We pretended to be big deal football players after the Friday night game. We waved at some girls and we almost stopped at the drive in. But bobby's brother was there. Bobby ducked and we sped past the drive in.
It was getting late and we thought we should be getting back home. We talked about dropping the car off. Johnny said that we could turn the car off and coast to the house and jump out before anybody was the wiser.
We turned off FM1960 onto jack rabbit road just as we passed coyote corner the car
Sputtered and jerked like when I had the influenza last year and threw up. The car darn near threw us out.
Jimmy looked at the dash and said "damn!" we looked at him and he said "we are out of gas" we laughed and laughed because jimmy's dad is the preacher. And it is always funny to hear jimmy blaspheme.
We got out and started to walk back home. We got about three feet from the car and a pair of headlights cut the night and then a third cut through right on us and we knew it was Sheriff Thompson. Man I was glad it was not sheriff Jones 'cause Jones was real mean to the kids. Bobby's brother said he had to be mean just because he was just out of high school and allot of us folks knew him as a kid so he had to "set the tone".
Hey what are you boys doing?
Nothing sir we were just walking home from the drive in.
Really I did not see you all there.
Yes sir
We all had shakes didn't we guys
We all nodded.
Sheriff gets out of his car, hey what is that back there. Do you boys know anything about that car?
“Ah well you see”, He touches the hood and says "well the engine is hot, not warm so I would say the car was just turned off" "What do you know about this car boys?"
We just barrowed it Jimmy said honest.
It was parked at old Gunther farm house and we just barrowed it.
Gunther’s house??
Yes sir
Get in the car boys
We all got into the police car and sheriff drove us to the Gunther house road.
he let us out and he radioed Tommy Jones. "Tom I need you to get here to the old Gunther house road now"
“Yes sir” crackled Tommy’s voice
Sheriff looked to us and said, “You boys get home. It is late I know your parents are looking for you all.
What is up sheriff?
Are there bank robbers down there?
No Timmy you just go home. Or I will tell you daddy's how we all got together to night.
We said ok sheriff and we left running down the dirt road towards home.
Once we were out of the light of the moon and in the shade of the big oak we stopped.
Do you think they are going to arrest some gangsters?
“Maybe the sheriff knows the car is stolen.” we looked at bobby, “No stolen before us and it was used in a bank heist.”
With out saying a word we turned into the field and headed to old Gunther's house.
We got there to the back side just in time to see two men yelling at each other and shining flash lights around the side of the house.
At first we did not see it but there was another man and a woman on the back stoop looking into the night. I thought for sure they had seen our shadows in the field from the darn moon. But they said nothing.
We heard the two sheriffs’ cars rolling down the road but the two men with flash lights were making too much noise yelling to hear or see the cars.
They just yelled and cursed then one of the cars ran over a branch and the crack was huge.
Everybody stopped and looked at the road now they saw the cars and they ran to the house.
The two cars turned on their head lights and spot light and gunned the black and white cars down the road. The sheriff cars slid to a stop the dust being shown in the lights like brown fog.
Sherriff Thompson jumped out of his car and lifted the mike to his mouth, "you in the house come out with your hands up." booms out of the front grill of his cruiser.
Tommy had his gun out and was pointing it towards the house. A front window broke and then a flash and then a gun shot rang and one of Tommy’s headlights goes out.
Tommy is flat on the ground
Sherriff drops behind his door.
Two men come out the back door and run around the side of the house.
Tommy pokes his head up and begins to fire his pistol at the house.
There is more flashed from the window. And all but one head light is now broken
Sheriff Thompson fires his gun and Tommy unlocks his shotgun from the dash.
The two men out side step around the corner and begin to fire on the cops and the cops fire back.
Sheriff Thompson falls down and so does one of the two men. Tommy screams “Sheriff you all right?”
No answer and the lone gunman begins to fire on Tommy and Tommy shoots the man with the shotgun. The man just sort of totters there like when Bobby's mom drinks too much cider. And then falls.
Tommy runs in a crouch to the sheriff’s car and bends over the sheriff. Tommy puts the mike to his mouth.
Come out with your hands up.
And two figures come out of the front door with their hands up.
One has a rifle over his head.
The woman is behind the man with the rifle.
Tommy gets up with the shotgun and starts to walk to the couple.
About 10 feet away from each other they both jump and fire at each other and the women is still standing. Then the woman falls and the man hits the ground at the same time Tommy hits the ground.
Neither one of the three gets up or moves. Then we see Tommy start to roll around.
We look and see no-one else moving. Tommy starts to drag himself to the sheriffs’ car.
We come out of the bushes and run to Tommy.
What are you boys ding here??
We heard the gun shots and we got curious.
Help me get to sheriff Thompson’s car.
We helped him up. In the near light I could see the wet spot on Tommy’s leg and shoulder.
He leaned on Timmy as we went to Sheriff Thompson’s car.
Sherriff Thompson was laying back with his mouth open and a wet spot on his forehead and a bunch of wet spots on his chest.
Tommy grabbed the mike and turned some knobs and spoke into the mike
This is deputy Springfield. I am at the old Gunther's house. Sherriff Thompson is dead and I have been shot. I need an ambulance right way"
State troopers asked us again and again why we were there and asked Tommy how they knew the Tennant gang was hold up in the house.
Tommy said he did not know it was the Tennant that sheriff Thompson found a car up on Jackrabbit road and told him to come with him to old Gunther’s house.
They showed up and everybody started shooting.
If it wasn't for these boys he would probably be dead.
The troopers thanked us and gave us ride s to our houses. They told our parents what had happened.
Later that month the mayor had a parade and thanked us for being heroes.
We did not feel like heroes but we said, “Thank you sir” anyway.
Tommy gave up sheriffing and got himself a job milking cows at the Johnson dairy.
We still played pranks on our neighbors. And we still enjoyed the rest of our summers.
One of our neighbors was blind. He was an old black man who played the harmonica all day.
He would sit on the porch and play and play. At sometimes at night on a dare we would sneak onto his porch and knock. When he answered the door we would just stand there as quite as a mouse.
He would say “who is there?” and “Hello”. The sternly announce, “I know you are there.”
“Is this funny to you?”
Oh yeah it was.
And then he would go back inside and another of us would do it again.
We would all take turns until one of us made a noise or we had completed the mission.
Often Bobby would chicken out and run away when the old man swung his cane about the porch looking for the person that knocked on his door.
One day I was at the store buying a Coke and the old black man stepped in line behind me. He sniffed and he sniffed.
Finally as I moved forward towards the cashier he said “Stop coming by my house.”
I said nothing. He said “That’s right, you chicken bastard, just shut your mouth and not ever set your foot on my porch again. I know what each of you smell like and I swear I am going to make you pay for your pranks.”
Well that sounded like a dare to me. So that night me, Bobby, Timmy, and Jimmy all went over to the old man’s house.
We played rock paper scissors to decide who would be first. Jimmy lost. He went up to the porch and as his foot touched the second step the old man burst out the door screaming and swing an axe.
“You kids have to leave me alone!”
The axe swung past Jimmy’s face. And he wet his pants. I swear to god his pants were wet and pee ran down his leg into his Keds.
He ducked and ran away and the old man just screamed after him, “That’s right you chicken bastard run!”
Finally the old man turned to go back into the house and Bobby broke for home. The old man heard the foot steps beating down the road.
He started to laugh a crazy laugh. He dropped the axe he laughed so hard.
He yelled a challenge to me and Timmy
“You want some of this old man then come on up here. Other wise I will get my gun and start shooting.”
There ain’t nothing scarier than a blind man with a gun.
We never bothered old ray again after that.
Yeah we played pranks but didn’t everybody?









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Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007

Mr. Rollins Thanks You By John Sleestaxx

Mr. Rollins thanks you

Dear Mr. Sleestaxx,

Henry is very busy and he can not visit your myspace page.
Mr. Rollins appreciates that you have been impacted by his work and although he likes fan fiction.
He would like to remind you that his name and likeness is his brand and he would like to remind you that any negative fiction should not be published.

Hymen, Heflin, or some other girly German Nazi name

Oh now let me tell you something about this whole Henry Rollins neighbor fiction thingy.
I see him online "Oh fuck bush this" and "fuck bush that" and "blah blah blah."
"Oh the end is near."
"Commercialism is eating our souls alive."
"Buy my album"
"Oh love me define me."
"Where's my dog? I want water. Bring me water! Oh I look fat don't I? Oh please somebody bring me some damn water. Do I still have it?"
"Oh I want you to like me."
"Oh I want to like you too but you are not in my zip code."
HENRY! I bought your goddamn albums 12+ dollars apiece.
Back then I had to work at a vet cleaning dog shit at min wage of 3.35 hour so your album was 4 hours of cleaning dog shit from sick dogs!
And then I would risk getting killed by rockers going downtown to see you live at the profilatica 2000. And then I risked getting killed by skinheads that followed you around.
The whole time being told corporate America is bad.
Corporate America is a war machine and has to be stopped.
Corporate America is killing our free speech.
We hear Henry does not do drugs or drinks and I say well if that is good for Henry then that has to be the way to go, he is so versed on the world and everything.
Then you exercise your free speech and you do a commercial for a clothing store.
A store that sells the clothes for the enemy, cookie cutter, kill individuality, same as the guy next to me clothes.
You do a commercial for the enemy.
You sold out to the other side.
Oh the despair I was flung into.
The depression that my mind sunk into
The maddening fever of betrayal that burned in my mind and caused so much self loathing that I wanted to die.
I had wasted so many years of my life.
I began to drink and do coke. I had to make up for lost time. 5 years I spent on my coke fueled binge.
The places I would wake up.
The depraved memories that would haunt me all day, until I could get fucked up again, would be oh animals and fruit of the loom underwear, things that Robert Downey Jr. could never ever have portrayed.
Oh man (LOL) the women I would find on my flop house mattress.
The sick and depraved things I did to get the money to get high. I no longer cleaned dog shit I ate dog shit!
I ATE SHIT IN A FUCKING SIDESHOW!
I ate shit in a freak sideshow held in the basement of a night club on Castro Street.
I was known as "Bubo The Dog Shit Eating Monkey Boy" three demeaning shows a night 7 nights a week.
Hook worms, round worms, whip worms. Dysentery, depression, dystopia, and distemper.
I had it all man yeah I was a fucking nut case then.
But I got better.
I found the way out of the depths of hell that was cocaine and drinking.
I learned about hate and rage and I learned that I was responsible for my self.
Then I get this E-mail today.

Mr. Sleestaxx,

Although the gap is always looking for fresh topical celebrities to promote our brand we have to admit that the demographic that would identify with "Bubo The Dog Shit Eating Monkey Boy" is too small to be of interest to us.

Thank you
Some buttmuncher whose has no clue of what is cool and what is not.

Man I hope one legged Pete is still in the same projects he was 10 years ago.

In my neighborhood #4 By John Sleestaxx

In my neighborhood #4
By John Sleestaxx

Did you know that MC-Hammer is a preacher?? And he lives in my neighborhood.
MC Hammer lives on the street next to Wendy on her left.
Saturday he was having a Christmas/church/office party.
The whole church was there. And there were ponies and carts for rides up and down the street but none of the grownups were riding as they were all dressed in white suits and wide brimmed hats.
Have you ever seen horse hair on a white suit it is despicable.
Any way they were all milling around in the front yard and back yard drinking Hennessey and Gold Monkey watching the kids play in the pool and ride the ponies.
There were cars all parked up and down the street. Lincolns and Cadillac, Excursions and Lexus’s, there were Hummers coming pout of my ass.
I was asked twice if I would park their car for them.
Hey 10 bucks is 10 bucks why the fuck not.
When MC-Hammer has a party it is once a year and there is nothing but entertainment. He does it like the rappers in the 80s did it, BIG.
He had midgets and clowns in little cars running around like fire men.
The ladies were all in their best like in church.
But some moron parked their car in my driveway and then another bone head parked their car in front of Wendy’s drive way. She was pissed. She yelled at me and I shrugged and stepped closer to my front door, Just in case, ‘cause I remember that one time when I told her they were having a sale at home depot on electrical tape. Hey I thought it was funny, so yeah I give Wendy a wide berth when she is mad.
She stomped over to Hammer’s house and there was some yelling as I could hear it over the disc jockey.
“Get it together Hammer. Come on Hammer it is time to move the car. Move the damn car Hammer.
Then the music stops, a record scratch comes through the air from his backyard and then a 12 inch vinyl record comes sailing over the fence and a man screams.
Some of the ladies come out of the backyard like chickens when the gate is left open and here comes Wendy and she is wound up now.
I run over to get Henry but he is out and I turn to Kidd’s house and Pam and him are just pulling in from the grocery store.
They both jump out and stand on my lawn with me.
We all just smile at each other. When Kidd looks away I take in Pam in all her Baywatch one piece glory, I see her catch me and she smiles, the slut. I flush red from my nipples to my ears and I break a small sweat.
Kidd does not notice as he is watching Wendy come out of her house with a portable cutting saw, one just like the rescue workers use in car accidents.
She hops on the car and just starts slicing through the roof.
Now Hammers guests start to run and yell.
Hammer comes out of the backyard and is screaming at Wendy " you stupid bitch what are you doing."
Wendy stops and sets the saw down.
I yell "don't hurt him Wendy". It is a joke and Hammer shoots me a sideways look. And Wendy kicks Hammer in the crotch but never connects with his testes because the pants are those hammer pants we know and secretly loved.
His crowd all starts to chant HAMMMER! HAMMEER!
And he pulls back and hits Wendy and they just go down from there into a huge boxing match.
HAMMER! HAMMER!
HAMMER! HAMMER!
HAMMER! HAMMER!
They box for another minute until the midgets dressed like the keystone cops come in and break up the two trading punches.
Wendy goes in to her house crying and hammer is helped back to his house by the crowd that gathered.
The garage door begins to open slowly and I hope and pray I see it.
And I do.
Just as I begin to see the black bumper contrasted against the yellow paint. Hammer and his crew turn.
They hear the diesel engine roar and the black smoke billow out of the garage and they know it is all over and they run for the hills.
Kidd and Pam grab my shoulders but I try to stay in the yard but they are stronger together than me and I fall back dragging on my heels.
The door fully rolls back and the school bus lurches out of the garage.
There is a guitar tearing the air from somewhere.
I am about inside Kidd's house and just as the bus collided with the car, an orange fire ball erupts and Pam slams the door.

Our Town (TWT)

Our town
Our town is a community and like any community our town has bums and trouble makers.
Our town also has celebrities and non-descript people too.
In our town we had a parade to display these people. These bums, troublemakers, celebrities and non-descript people. During the parade some ninja warriors from the next town over descended on the square where the parade begins its big turn to exit the city limits.
The warriors brandished swords and those cheap throwing stars that they sell at the druggie shop. The ninjas began running around slicing and dicing the parade watchers and the parade participants. The children who were just seconds ago exited to see the ninjas now they were just scared shitless. And ran screaming into the day hiding and taking cover.
These ninjas from the other town were here in retaliation for the letter from a French town accepting our offer to become their gay lover town. Which is like a sister town but since we already had a sister town in Russia and a brother town on the east coast. We needed another town in the mix.
The council voted on gay lover town. The choices were gay lover, straight lover (of course), co-worker, organ donor, and minority town. During the debate many lines were drawn and many sides were taken. But what we did not know was that the other town was our stalker lover town and that we had made them jealous.
The stalker lover town decided that it was not the French towns fault but we were just dirty whores, with no regard for anybody else but our selves. So they trained in the ninja way and traveled to our town for retribution and revenge for being used and discarded like so much trash.
_______________________________________________________________________
This blog is a part of Typing With Tina. If you would like to play.
Here are the details - cut and paste.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=45911685&blogID=338186189&Mytoken=90417E4A-F50F-4808-811A0D1376FD731F79061220

Seven Deadly Sins: Envy By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Mar 7:22 adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today I am going to tell a story and talk about envy.

Jam 3:14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfishness in your hearts, do not boast and tell lies against the truth.

Envy is like greed as they are the wanton desire for something. Greed is just the desire to have material things, but envy is the desire to have something that someone has because the person feels inadequate without the item.
Wars are started over this and the other sins. One nation looks to the east and sees that his neighbor gets to see the sun before he does and he thinks that makes his neighbor more prosperous and the idiot masses an army and they march east to fight for the rising sun. How fucking retarded is that? The can not own the sun and they will always have someone who sees the sun before they do.
Some countries may not go to war but they will artificially drag down the economy of another so that the difference between the companies is not so grand.

Pro 6:18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift to run to evil,

The Texas mom who wanted to have her daughter on the cheerleading squad killed the mother of another so that her baby could break an ankle and show her panties to the entire football team and spectators.
Bizarre shit for envy I tell you.

2Co 12:20 For I am afraid that somehow when I come I will not find you what I wish, and you will find me not what you wish. I am afraid that somehow there may be quarreling, jealousy, intense anger, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder.

Families are torn asunder over envy.
Someone came to me last month and told me "my family wants to keep up with the neighbors. They ridicule me and say that I am a failure because I can not proived liek their friends do"
How said is that?? I have had that family in for special counseling sessions and trust me when I tell you that the worst to convert was the daughter. She needed the certain cell phone and the certain car and the certain clothing label.
In the end I told that church member to shave the daughter's head. Her envious ways would change as she would just desire a normal hair cut. And every time she said I need what so-in-so has to beat her and shave her head.
I need not name any names but we can just look around and see whom I speak of. Hey baby how are you today.

Pro 6:19 a false witness who pours out lies,

The thugs on the street want to keep up with the famous rappers that came from good homes but pretend to be from crime.
They are envious of the pretend life of money women and things that are portrayed on television in the rap videos. They do not understand that these things are just things and mostly things that are rented for the production of the movie. The big busted girls in bikinis are actresses paid to be in the video. None of the players in the video knew each other the day before the shooting started.

Lucifer's desire to be like god, and to control humans is what got his ass kicked out of heaven. Lucifer was envious of gods power and tried top usurp it. God got sick of Lucifer’s shit and cast him down from heaven.

In sports we see it all time Bond's desire to be like the other baseball greats. Caused him to maybe partake of some synthetic body modifications so that he could be like the greats and now he may end in the book as the greatest failure of all. Anything he accomplishes now is diminished by the perception that he cheated. What a dumb twit. But well there is another example of how stupid one becomes when gripped by the sinful emotion of jealousy.

At work we all know the guy that is jealous of the other successful employee and in his envious ways he sabotages the work of the other. This not only hurts the company but also both of the employees.

Another church was envious of our church and caused the construction of the main hall to stop. They sent parishners in the night to strip parts off equipment and to cause bank and government approvals to slow. One parishners was caught redoing work so that the building inspection would fail or the church would collapse.
I finally confronted the priest and we hashed out the problem and he found that he was infected with the sin of envy and he was very apologetic.
He then talked his parishners in assisting our contractor in any capacity possible.

Pro 49:18 He pronounces this blessing on himself while he is alive: “May men praise you, for you have done well!”

We as older folk need to be sure that our envy-ness of the young does not precipitate in discrimination and wrongful judging of the youth. Because the youth is young and pretty does not mean that they are better than us the older folk. We are older and smarter and wiser as we have made the mistakes and the youth do not listen to our wisdom. Let us sit back and enjoy the fact we have more to offer than the youth. The youth should be envious of us and that is the truth.

Gal 5:20 idolatry, sorcery, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish rivalries, dissensions, factions,

Women and men are envious of each other. Men envious that women are perceived as having an easier time in life as they are women and they have the pooty but the truth is that because they have the pooty and most men are envious they have a harder time.
Women are envious of a man's penis. The penis, no matter how ugly it is a sign of strength and power. The penis looks like a sword for a reason. Gods wanted men to be strong and in control of the environment.
But even though women are not expected to be fighter’s and to go to war they are still envious of the penis.
I was umpiring a softball game one summer night and there was a female coach on a team and you could tell that she did not like men. Her attitude was all about you disgust me, you are invading what I perceive to be a girl’s sport and no men should be allowed to participate.
Well during the game there was a banger on third. My female partner rings the player out. I saw the whole play my angle was no better and no worse than anybody else’s and I thought good call. I also thought man I am glad I did not have to make that call because holy shit there is going to be a pissed off coach no matter how the call goes.
The male coach comes out and approaches me.

Gal 5:26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, being jealous of one another.

Did you see the call? What the hell is she thinking? That runner was safe by a mile. Aren’t you going to do something?
Yes coach I am. I am going to tell you to talk to the official that made the call AFTER you ask for time and she gives you time. Until then get back to your dugout.
What?
Yes now either turn to go back to the dug out or turn to leave the field you have two places to go.
He went to the dug asked for time I looked to my partner she said "time".
The coach now walks all the way to the umpire and starts to yell. My partner says "coach you need to stop yelling".
The coach still yells.
She turns and starts to walk away.
This is my queue to step up and make the coach leave. He did not proceed correctly. And now he was dangerously in bad territory.
I get about half the distance and he sees me and he turns and starts to his dugout and now the female coach says "I knew he did not have the balls to keep going".
Holy shit the other coach turned and charges the female coach. He comes up and stops short in her face and starts to yell about how she needs to mind her own business and how all the dykes stick together.
At that the female coach reaches up and pokes him in the eye with her fist. And before the coach can get his hand to his eye, a knee is jammed into his crotch and he drops.

Gal 5:21 envying, murder, drunkenness, carousing, and similar things. I am warning you, as I had warned you before: Those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God!

I get there and step in between the two my partner bends to the coach to help him up and as he is getting up my partner whispers that’s what you get for having a prick you dick!
I thought I was going to burst.
The coach looked at me and asked, "Did you hear that?"
Yeah I heard her ask if you were ok which I thought was very nice of her since you were so rude.
Now get off the field or forfeit
And I turned to the female coach and she just nodded because she knew that she was gone also.
We finished a 4 ITB game and the coaches stood next one another in the parking lot watching the game.
The point is the demon Leviathan will sweep in fast and make you stupid before you know it and then holy crap you are stuck with a sack of shit and a stupid look.
The little league has asked me to tell every one that they are having their annual umpire clinic this January and February and anybody wanting to umpire and maybe make a little extra cash should contact them for specific dates.
I would also like t thank all of the regular attendees and subscribers.
I also would like to mention that my second book “With A Mouth Full Of Razorblades” is to be released January 15th in three languages English, German, and French. As always purchases through my Blog will get the book delivered directly from me with an autograph saying just about anything you want.
There are a few copies of “Like A Monkey With A Handgun” left and the same goes for purchases through the Blog.
Cake and coffee is in the foyer. Go get some! And go in peace!

I do charity some times

So I do charity events damn near all weekend. (Umpire for free)
Friday a fundraiser for the high school fun and nothing really to mention
Saturday was pay at the plate and that was nice 110 for 5hours
Sunday was a toy for tots drive. The teams all bring toys and they get to playa tourney.

Saturday 14 girls fast pitch. I was awesome.
I covered third and my partner was slow to get to home almost blew it.
I pooched a first base safe call and knew it. First was bobbling the ball as the runner crossed the bag. I came up to fast with the call and I knew it.
They asked for the appeal and I gave it to them my partner knew I needed the bail. I changed my call
I lost count once and I missed 3 pitches total for the whole game.

Sunday
I do 10s behind the mound. The strike zone is weird from back there. And when the sun is in your eyes it is worse.
At the start I was told that a kid has to fall off the mound to get a balk.
This is a good time for the coaches to pitch the other boys.
So there was some balks but I did not call them ( I was told they have to drop the ball of fall off the mound to get a balk).
My last game was 12s behind the mound. They thanked me for my time and they thanked me for wearing the Santa hat and they thought that was a nice touch.
White vs. blue.
The sun was in the batters eyes so I tightened the zone a bit.
Whites pitcher was throwing inside 2 balls wide and I would call a ball. then the pitcher would mutter under his breath "come on blue".
The bitching started and a dad yells “that was a curve ball blue haven’t you seen a curve ball before.”
I yell “the ball still has to cross the plate to work.”
More retarded comments form both sides and then the half.
I stand on the offensive side and curve ball dad says "you got to hang with the curve" meaning that he felt I was giving up on the pitch too soon.
“No sir I am here as a volunteer and if you think you are better then maybe you should get out here in my stead.”
“I would love to.”
“Then you should not be so rude and disrespectful.”
He does not move and then says “you got to help the pitcher out some.
You got to hang with the curve ball.”
“No I have had enough of your mouth you sir are done no more you are rude and disrespectful”
“But I was....”
I turn to a coach from his team and tell the coach,
“I have had enough of his rude mouth. any more at all you and him will be in the parking lot charity or not and there is still an hour 10 minutes left to play. “
“do we understand?”
“yes “
Now I was loud enough for everyone to here and everyone knew I had enough
Blue coach said we are just joking with you, you know for fun, keeps you on your toes.
No sir that is not right. I get paid for the abuse and I am not getting paid today.
The white coach later apologizes and says he realizes that I am volunteering and he is sorry for the dad.
“No that is fine the issue is behind us now and the warning stands.”
The score is now blue 8 white 1 bottom of five with 6 minutes left to go.
Two outs and Flair to left gets a boy from blue on base.
Boy steals to second then to third.
Pitcher is trying to hold the boy on but the boy is too quick back to the bag.
The pitch steps to set and starts his motion and I see his foot 13 inches off the rubber.
“That’s a balk“
I balked the winning run into home to finish the game 3 minutes early.

In my neighborhood #3

In my neighborhood #3
By John Sleestaxx


It is funny and it is not.
Marilyn Manson moved into the house on Wendy’s left it is the first house on the left hen you turn onto the cul-de-sac and across from him is Johnny Cash.
Marilyn was very neighborly that day. After humping all of his furniture he moved it in side.
Then he came out to greet us and offer us cookies and introduce himself. I picked a cookie from the plate and he then offered to Kidd, Wendy and Henry. Kidd and Wendy took one and then Henry said he was not eating any refined sugar because of the terrible tragic exploited things that we do to the Hawaiians in the past.
I smirked as Marilyn explained that the cookies were a special recipe that did not use any refined sugars and as I lifted the cookie to my mouth I got a whiff of shit.
Yes poop, fecal matter.
I furrowed my brow and looked sideways to Kidd who was eating his and Wendy who was smiling at me and shifting her eyes to Kidd.
“Oh I get it” and in palmed the cookie and slid it into my back pocket,
Wendy winked and we smiled at Kidd.
We welcomed Marilyn and I was already thinking that I had to get rid of this freak cause he was really going to ruin the house value now. Now do not get me wrong, I like MM’s music and persona but I do not need that crap across the street from me and ruining my house value.
The market is already volatile and shaky already I do not need to have trouble selling when I need to pull the equity out and retire or upgrade. I mean, I could maybe hide the lesbos Britney and Pink, but this freak, holy shit I was doomed.
Maybe I would not have to worry.
Johnny was out of town when Marilyn moved in so we all kind of wanted to see how Johnny reacted to having Marilyn across the street.
Johnny came home later Sunday afternoon. He was in bike shorts and his chest waders were hanging on the ladder rack of his beat up ford pick up so we all knew he was fishing and he was going to be in a foul mood.
"You know you are not going to catch anything" we all say "but you go anyways".
"Yeah but I get to get out and breathe and think and talk to nature."
"But you are in a foul mood for weeks later"
"Maybe I do not like what nature ahs to say" he would joke.
It was perfect timing when john came home because Marilyn was out in the yard planting some flowers in the front flower bed.
He was dressed in that plastic boob shirt thingy and a wide brimmed straw hat. No pants and rubber boots.
John turned to me and waved. Then he saw that the rest of us were out also.
He looked puzzled and perplexed. He looked at us and Lemmy who lives next to Kidd nodded towards Manson.
John followed his nod and saw Manson’s ass in the air as he dug another hole for another daisy plant.
John's shoulders slumped and his head dropped.
He reached into the back of the truck and pulled out a shovel and crossed the street.
Marilyn caught the sight of Mr. Cash and stood.
He must have saw the shovel and thought John was going to be a nice neighbor, cause he smiled and began to say "hey thanks but.." John raised the shovel and brought down on Manson’s head. There was a movie style twang and Manson dropped like a rag doll.
John is a great neighbor. He took care of the shit that floated in across the street.
John brought the shovel up and down four more times on Manson’s head and then began to dig a hole in the front flower bed.
We all turned our backs and went inside.
Later it rained and the flower bed looked normal and I am sure that later when the stink begins we will not talk of this EVER!

Exhaling a big hit of pot

Dude check it out



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This will be really cool. Here take another hit man and listen.
I will get my mom's car and we will go down to the Wal-Mart parking lot and here lemme have another pull.......

OMG Make It Stop!

Make It Fucking Stop!!!!








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I imagine this would be good to remove the fecal matter from your nose.
You know.. When you kiss allot of ass you will have a tendency to get some shit in your nose.

In My Neighborhood I have Pink and Britney as neighbors

Dear Home Owners Association,
I am lodging a formal complaint about my neighbors and the inability to preserve the value of my home.
I have lesbian couple behind me although they are not flag flying box-tearers or sign carrying carpet munchers they are gay.
I am speaking of the neighbor right behind my house Britney Spears and Pink. Now although they are not out of the closet they chose to live together and every weekend they have a lesbo parties and get drunk and have lesbian sex.
Huge writhing naked lady pool parties all fucking weekend. They are naked women making out in the pool, blaring music from the stereos and lots of orgasmic screaming. It is just a huge orgy of naked women getting drunk and having gay sex on the lawn. There is nothing but gay girl on girl action from 8:00am Friday to 10:00pm Sunday.
The weather is always nice and the Pink-Brit pair has outdoor bedroom furniture in the back yard. There are two big king-size beds on the patio pads in the backyard clearly out of bounds of the deed restrictions. Do you realize how much naked gay girl sex can happen on a king size bed?? No you don't because on the porn you look at on the internet is hotel doubles that barely hold the four that you are use to seeing. A king-size bed can fit 8 to 10 naked girl bodies, all licking and poking and rubbing and grinding and sliding in and out, in and out, up and down, up and down, back and forth.
Boobs touching boobs butts touching butts, tongues out and licking and tasting the forbidden areas of another woman.
The pool filled with the naked lesbo flesh of a hundred women. It is a pool of boobs, nothing but boobs. Boobs are everywhere, from big to perky and dark to pale. Large pencil erasure sized nipples and hard as a rock to small as pencil point and you can cut diamonds with these. Every goddamn weekend I have this spectacle behind my house.
I think the HOA likes having the lesbians in the neighborhood because it makes them all feel cosmopolitan and progressive. But you all do not loose sleep over the hot nasty lesbian sex spectacle that goes on every weekend. The HOA does not know what the sight does to a man. You apparently have no clue how damaged one gets of sitting at the knot hole of your fence for 60 hours straight. How the air is unbearably hot and how your skin is on fire when you know that there is a feast of lesbian flesh 25 feet away. When you know that the hedonistic pleasures that are underway will riddle your sane mind like Swiss cheese. Every time I close my eyes I see nothing but lesbo tasting lesbo, girl skin on girl skin, boobs bouncing and bodies writhing in ecstasy as they all mount the orgasmic wave and ride the pounding tide of pleasure over and over again. They are screaming their orgasmic pleasures in twelve languages all day and all night.
You can not imagine how the sight of girl on girl for 60 hours can tear you brain apart and set your soul on fire. The sight of fingers entering wet fleshy orifices of pleasure, while lips and tongues slipping and sucking probing and exploring the vast unknown and mysterious areas that are the lesbo body.
I am amazed at the resiliency of the skin on my penis every weekend
Henry Rollins and Kidd Rock are always at my door on the weekends they want to use my knot hole in my fence.
I let them sometimes because you can only watch hot lesbo action for so many hours a day until you start to dehydrate and need to drink water.
I put the hose right by the chair after i passed out in the middle of Saturday and woke up Sunday night.
They are a bad influence on the whole neighborhood. I see many of the wives and women of the neighborhood over there time after time. Every once in awhile Pam will be over there for the drinks and lesbo sex, apparently Pam loves to digit dip in the pool just as all the ladies in my neighborhood. They play strip poker, bunko, and beer pong. They have pillow fights in their underwear all the time. It is like a pillow fight marathon all weekend. Giggling and fighting and tickling.
Once a month they have wresting matches in kiddies pools, sometimes they have instant potatoes and some times they have oatmeal. Once they filled the pool with chicken nuggets and BBQ sauce (that was the weekend I passed out).
They are nothing but trouble and a nuisance. The hot lesbo sex has to be toned down ASAP a man can not get any work done during the week because he is thinking about last weekend and what next week end will bring.
Do you realize that I can not sell my house when there is a a party going on behind my house every weekend. no person in his right mind wants to buy a house next to party animals.
I understand that we are in a new era and new up to date times and that we are suppose to be open minded and tolerant but a man's home is not only his castle but also his investment.
Please protect my investment and make Britney and Pink stop the parties.

Thank you
John Sleestaxx

Satan came to m y door today

I answered the door and there was Satan. He wanted to talk to the lady of the house about her choice of laundry detergent.
I told him that she was not home and that he should not come back.
He then stated that the laminated card clipped to his breast pocket allowed him the opportunity to harass and manipulate the fine citizens of my neighborhood.
I said really? Hold on one second fucktard.
and I went to the closet to get my chainsaw, (What where do you keep yours?)
I began to step in his direction and told him that this two stroke, 5 horse power cutting device allows me the opportunity to cut his pecker off and that I was going to put his cut off pecker in my family bible.
Whoa hold on Mr. Sleestaxx.
That is Reverend To you Satan.
OK Rev. But I still need to talk to your wife.
No sir you need to step the fuck off my porch before I cut your penis off with this here chainsaw.
Look Rev. I am just trying to sell some cleaner door to door
I too sell cleaners. I sell cleaners for the soul. I clean sins from souls.
I beat the dirt from the minds of the sinners and mortals of this earth. and I do not need any of what you are selling Satan now go.
Satan began to cry. He complained that he was just missed understood and that he was just being manipulated by god and that the good lord was using him as a scape goat for all the bad things in life.
I said, "cry me a river bitch" and I sent him next door and told him talk to my neighbor Henry Rollins.
Henry is a fucker. and Satan will not see it coming!

My Book Is Now Published and For Sale



Like A Monkey With A Handgun
by Rev. J. Sleestaxx

With a mouthful of razorblades Reverend John Sleestaxx tells a tale of a marginalized white

male in america.

146 pages of anger and hate in a perfectly bound book.
plenty of unpublished material.
Purchased now through here and i will sign the book.










Or you can download the book here for 2.50

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Behold! I Have Come To Kick Your Ass! By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was fully God. 1:2 The Word was with God in the beginning. 1:3 All things were created by him, and apart from him not one thing was created that has been created. 1:4 In him was life, and the life was the light of mankind. 1:5 And the light shines on in the darkness, but the darkness has not mastered it.

A year ago I was asked to step into this church and speak. The congregation was 20 at most and they were mostly older women and a old man or two that has since passed on.
I began my first sermon using the sermon from John Edwards "Sinners in the hands of an angry god".
I spoke with passion and fervor. I woke some people up in the middle when I began to stomp and bang when I wanted to make a point.
Then the word started to spread. I began to tell about how I knew what it was like in the real world and the tests that put to you all. I spoke about how god did not want you all to be weak he wanted you to stand up and be men or women, but regardless stand up for yourselves. Take what is yours be assertive because the world is changing.
I had an old woman or two tell me that they were scared to leave their house because of the drug dealers. But now they were more scared of me and not showing up then they were of the thugs on their street.

John 1:6 A man came, sent from God, whose name was John. 1:7 He came as a witness to testify about the light, so that everyone might believe through him. 1:8 He himself was not the light, but he came to testify about the light. 1:9 The true light, who gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. 1:10 He was in the world, and the world was created by him, but the world did not recognize him. 1:11 He came to what was his own, but his own people did not receive him. 1:12 But to all who have received him – those who believe in his name – he has given the right to become God’s children 1:13 – children not born by human parents or by human desire or a husband’s decision, but by God.

I went to their houses and I beat the pimps and the drug dealers into believing they were going to hell. They began to come to church and the church helped them to find honest work. The church helped when the church needed to and when the church could.
The women began to tell of how much nicer the neighborhoods became when the lord took the evil off the street.
The evil that did not see the light did not stay around very long.
I heard one say they had never seen a man be so lucky that did not carry a gun.

Deu 32:26
“I said, ‘I want to cut them in pieces. I want to make people forget they ever existed.

Deu 32:27
But I fear the reaction of their enemies, for their adversaries would misunderstand and say, “Our power is great, and the Lord has not done all this!”’

Deu 32:28
They are a nation devoid of wisdom, and there is no understanding among them.

Deu 32:29
I wish that they were wise and could understand this, and that they could comprehend what will happen to them.”

Rodney "The Rod" Smith
You all remember him right??
Yeah he was the one that came to church to challenge me and he brought that Mac 10.
Do you all remember how he began to fire at me during one of my sermons and how every single bullet just disappeared the moment it left the barrel?

Deu 32:30
How can one man chase a thousand of them, and two pursue ten thousand; unless their Rock had delivered them up, and the Lord had handed them over?

Deu 32:31
For our enemies’ rock is not like our Rock, as even our enemies concede.

Do you remember the fear in his eyes when realized that the bullets were disappearing and I was coming down from the dais toward him? His posse began to shoot too and they just made noise as their bullets vaporized.
Man that was classic, he stood there locked kneed staring at me as the bullets never touched me.
And when I struck the gun from his hand with my bible, the gun made of hardened steel and carbon fiber, shattered into a million pieces.
And then I brought the bible down on his head and he fell back wailing in tongues.
His boys all fell to their knees screaming ‘how they were sorry and that’ “oh please god forgive us.”
Our congregation double that day and has increased by 10 people every Sunday since.
The crime rate in the neighbor hood has dropped and the word on the street is that god is looking over this 40 block area himself.

Deu 32:32
For their vine is from the stock of Sodom, and from the fields of Gomorrah. Their grapes contain venom, their clusters of grapes are bitter.

Deu 32:33
Their wine is snakes’ poison, the deadly venom of cobras.

Deu 32:34
“Is this not stored up with me?” says the Lord, “Is it not sealed up in my storehouses?

These thugs, pimps, and crooked policemen, and players are all worshiping false gods and false idols. They have not seen what real power can do. they can not see the lord for they are too blinded by the lies and deceit that is the drugs they do and the money they hoard.
They are too busy worrying about how to hold their place and get more, then to see the damage they are causing to the neighborhood.
The whores all believe they are innocents and their crime is a victimless crime but they do not see the rage that is god’s anger from their misdeeds. The thugs, crooked cops and Politian’s all want to be in power. They fight and kill and cheat and rob to gain power but only god can give them true power.
Just as god gave me the power walk through Rodney's bullets he gives you all the power to stand up for what is yours.
Just as he gave me the power to thump the word of god into the two cops that ran the drug rings right in front of the church. He gives you al the power to say no to the heathens that want to take what is yours away from you.
Those cops were dealing drugs right out of their squad car.
Those two tried to arrest me when I beat their runner with my bible when I caught him stealing from the basket that one Sunday.

Yeah DO NOT FUCKING STEAL FROM THE CHURCH AS I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!
They rolled up on me began to push me around and say they were going have to take me down town for questioning. I beat the shit out of them, before they could even bring out their taser. They said they were sorry and that they would no longer be dealing drugs.
I even made them clean up their own blood.
The lord wants you to stand up for yourself. Take what is yours, do not let some heathen take something from you. Do not let an opportunity pass that you could have thumped some Jesus into some sinner.

Deu 32:35
I will get revenge and pay them back at the time their foot slips; for the day of their disaster is near, and the impending judgment is rushing upon them!”

Deu 32:36
The Lord will judge his people, and will change his plans concerning his servants; when he sees that their power has disappeared, and that no one is left, whether confined or set free.

Deu 32:37
He will say, “Where are their gods, the rock in whom they sought security,

After the beatings ask them where is their god? And why did their god fail them? Tell them that their god is a pussy and their god is no match for your god and that any time anywhere your god will go toe to toe with their fucked up watered down version of a god.
Tell them God kicked Satan’s ass, god kicked your ass. And ask, “Who’s god has the better kung fu bitch?”
Yeah that is right!
Now remember sometimes the beatings must be done a couple times as the poor soul you are saving could be too blinded from the lies and deceit but eventually they will come around and they will see the light that is god's word and god's love.

Deu 32:38
who ate the best of their sacrifices, and drank the wine of their drink offerings? Let them

Deu 6:5
You must love the Lord your God with your whole mind, your whole being, and all your strength. rise and help you; let them be your refuge!

I beat therefore I am. I whip your ass in the name of god. I beat the sinners down and tattoo the word "Holy Bible" into the foreheads of the unwashed and the filthy sinners of our time.
Just as each generation of insect becomes immune to pesticide so does the sinner to god’s word. God’s word needs to be stronger every day. There is no limit to the strength and love that god has for all of his children.
Remember that and you will be better at beating the shit out of and the word into all of the sinners of the world the more you love god and the more you love and stand up for your self.
I believe that if we all bring this to our work and we bring this to the voting booths and we let the godless bastards that are our bosses know that we will no longer be meek and we will no longer be sheep shepherded by wolves. That we will now fight back and take what is ours we will have a better chance of surviving the rough and tough roads that lay ahead.
I hear that some of the married men may be taking the assistance of the single mothers too far. I am sure that this is not the case and I am sure that the married women that think this will realize their mistakes.
But should this rumor turn out to be true believe me there will be some serious ass kicking happening.
The sewing circle is holding crotchet classes fro the teen girls. they say all girls should know how to mend and sew and crotchet before they are to be married. So girls I think that you can give up one night of training to learn a more feminine skill.
I would like to say that the drug tests came back as well as the chromosome tests came back.
It appears that the girls champion is in deed a girl and has been beating the shit out of the boys for many weeks.
But I have it on good authority that this Friday will be the turning point for the boys as they have a secret weapon that has been training in secret and is ready to rumble. Come out Friday to see the boys lose or the boys take back the trophy.
No cookies, no coffee, no fucking dunking donuts, as you all can not behave in the parking lot.
Go home and think of a way to apologize to me and your neighbor.

Amen

My Teeth Are Sharp For A Reason By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Anti meat eaters
I understand that you may not like the texture of meat. I understand that you may not like the feeling of chewing meat.
But to propagandize the fairness in eating non-human animals is too much!
God gave us all sharp teeth when he designed us.
We are meat eaters it was so divined in the beginning of time and space. From the moment the bacteria evolved into something then into us it was decided that we were to eat meat.
God meant us to be dominating of all the animals that is why he made us in his image

Gen 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness, so they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move on the earth.”

Gen 1:27 God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.

We are at the top of the food chain. Now I will admit that god's design did not account for fossil fuels and the like but hey at some point the design of the earth will kick in and we will be culled to a more manageable level. There is nothing that we need to do about that. It will take of itself.
But this site irks me.'
They speak of fairness to animas that if you smacked on the head would forget about it two minutes later. They were design to be food for us and the rest of the planet.
Here you go.
If humans eating animals is wrong then why do other animals eat other animals and why is that not wrong.
Simple.
Answer that and I may put my burger down.

Seven Deadly Sins: Lust By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Today I would like to talk about lust.
Lust is the desire that wells in your soul so fiercely that it pushes the lord from your heart.
Lust is not just sex and sexual relations but also the desire and need to obtain or achieve something.
There are some whose lust is money and material things. Now although they are not thinking of fornicating bodies. They do not spend hours masturbating to images in their heads of hot naked sex. Jerking and rubbing their organs raw thinking of hard nude sweaty bodies, bodies licking and touching, tasting the perspiration and juices from one another in a twisted fleshy pile of carnal knowledge. Heaving and undulating, grinding and panting, slamming one body into another tearing one's soul from the other, screaming god's name and the names of a thousand other lovers as they climax and spill their seed onto one another.

Eze 23:11
“Her sister Oholibah watched this, but she became more corrupt in her lust than her sister
had been, and her acts of prostitution were more numerous than those of her sister.

But those fuckers are weird and twisted. They get off on money, they masturbate to pictures of dead presidents. They sold their soul to Satan so that they could have more material things. These material things and all things of this earth can not be taken into the kingdom of heaven. So they sold their soul for not.
Lust is a desire and the strongest desire is sex. God wanted his children to multiply and dominate the world so he created a strong sex drive.
This desire to have sex is lust. And lustful desires lead you to commit great tragic sins.
Whole operas are based on the twisted desires fueled by lust.
Entire 1 hour and 15 minute porno films are there to entice lustful feelings. Watching these films will cause your skin to inflame and your head drunk with desire. The feelings can become such that the air moving across your sweaty skin can drive you mad.

Eze 23:22
“Therefore, Oholibah, this is what the sovereign Lord says: Look here, I am about to stir
up against you the lovers with whom you were disgusted; I will bring them against you from every side:

Eze 23:36
The Lord said to me: “Son of man, are you willing to pronounce judgment on Oholah and
Oholibah? Then declare to them their abominable deeds!

When we are children our lust appears as a sweet tooth or a habit for junk food. Entire mega corporate empires are built on this lust. They inundate us and our children everyday with advertisements for junk food and candy.
Then when we grow hair and become adolescences and enter puberty we find that certain areas make us happy. Our lust changes to rubbing and touching these areas with other people’s areas.
The desire to rub with another becomes intense and an addiction. We get light headed, we begin to think unclear, and we begin to justify doing wrong things and sinful things to sedate this lust, this demon.

Exo 32:21
Moses said to Aaron, “What did this people do to you, that you have brought on them so
great a sin?”

Exo 32:30
The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a very serious sin, but now I will go up to the Lord – perhaps I can make atonement on behalf of your sin.”

Did you know that lust is controlled by a demon? Yes a demon! The demon’s name is Asmodeus. When you become so inflamed, so drunk with desire, you allow Asmodeus and opportunity to enter your body.
When Asmodeus enters you are no longer in control. You are now at the mercy of Satan’s harbingers of evil. Many of the children in today’s world have born because of the control of Asmodeus.
You girls here today need to watch for Asmodeus.

Exo 20:14
You shall not commit adultery.

You boys need to say no to Asmodeus.

Gen 39:10
Even though she continued to speak to Joseph day after day, he did not respond to her invitation to have sex with her.

You teenagers parking in cars need to not park in such private areas as that leaves an opportunity for Asmodeus to enter your vehicle and then you have sex!

Eze 23:8
She did not abandon the prostitution she had practiced in Egypt; for in her youth men had sex with her, fondled her virgin breasts, and ravished her.

You all are hot and dripping in sweat sex. Undulating and pressing sliding on the vinyl backseat sex. Thumping and bumping breathless panting wet sex. Grinding and pulsing nails racked across the back sex. In and out, teeth biting shoulders sex. Up and down fingers fumbling dark areas sex. Pelvic grinding pelvic like one huge fuck machine in the back seat of your daddy’s car. The two of you humping like animals with the windows fogged and the radio blaring Iron Butterfly’s “Ina-goda-da-vida”.

Col 3:5 So put to death whatever in your nature belongs to the earth: sexual immorality, impurity, shameful passion, evil desire, and greed which is idolatry.

Come to confession and confess your sins. Tell me of your sins and we will work to have you repent and have the darkness on your soul absolved.
Come to confession and tell me of you transgressions and we will work to keep Asmodeus at bay.

Exo 32:32
But now, if you will forgive their sin…, but if not, wipe me out from your book that you
have written.”

Do not let the sin of lust seal your fate. Do not get thrown into the lake of fire. For the burn you will feel from the lake will be mightier and more painful that the burn lust puts on your flesh. These lustful thoughts and feelings can be stopped. You can beat Asmodeus, you can whoop Satan’s ass just as I do everyday. But the first step is to get control of your head, your heart, and happy places.

Exo 32:34
So now go, lead the people to the place I have spoken to you about. See, my angel will go before you. But on the day that I punish, I will indeed punish them for their sin.”

There is time! [Bang On The Podium]
Now today! [Bang On The Podium]
Right this very moment stand and say “No I will not let my lust get the better of me.”
[Bang On The Podium] DO IT NOW!!!
I want every one of you all standing right now to see me, TODAY, and tell me of every moment that lust has been in control of your decisions and in control of your life. We will go over every detail and work through this together.

Rom 13:13
Let us live decently as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in discord and jealousy.

I do not care how vile, or how hot, or how perverted your tales are. We will work this out. We may have to meet more than once if your tales are long or many. But we will do this and we will get to the end. We will get relief from Asmodeus. We will vanquish the lust demon together. You do not have to do this alone.

Gen 18:20
So the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so
blatant

You know which one of you needs to stand this moment. You know you have been lustful and you have been rubbing your body with another.
Even you who has been rubbing yourself in the dark under the covers, head back silently screaming with ecstasy. Your fingers wrinkled from the wetness of you perspiration and spit. Rubbing and sliding over the same nervous areas that excite you. Up and down biting your lip as you think those evil thoughts. Gasping and panting while you play those hot images in the porno theatre of your mind.

Deu 13:6
Suppose your own full brother, your son, your daughter, your beloved wife, or your
closest friend should seduce you secretly and encourage you to go and serve other gods that neither you nor your ancestors have previously known,

Torturing that spot with little slippery circles while run scenarios of hot flesh rubbing yours. You think of the taste of flesh in your mouth. You recall the tastes of your salty lovers skin on your tongue. Like your mind recalls the images of the last time your failed to restrain yourself and how the sliding of their flesh on yours raised the hairs on your neck. Your fingers move faster as the images are played faster. Your breath quickens and you kick the covers off because the heat in the sheets is too much and your skin is aflame with desire for relief. Relief is coming, you know it is coming, but you want to wait just a little longer as your brain boil with images of naked people melting into more naked people. Your lust is mounting and you can no longer hold the tide. Your body shakes as waves of lustful pleasure roll over you.
Yeah you know who you are. You too need to come see me. We need to talk.

Exo 32:30
The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a very serious sin, but now I will go up to the Lord – perhaps I can make atonement on behalf of your sin.”

I want you all to think about how any times you invite Asmodeus into your lives. How many times does the television invite Asmodeus into your lives? What foods and what images are the ones that trigger the lustful thoughts. I know of a man that literately looses all control when he sees his wife vacuum. Seems simple enough but think about how many days there are and how many rooms there are in a house. Now think about how many times Asmodeus can get his wife to vacuum. Yeah that is what I am talking about. Asmodeus is a powerful demon but I know with confession and counseling we can turn this demon back and send him back to hell!

Gen 20:9
Abimelech summoned Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? What sin did I commit against you that would cause you to bring such great guilt on me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should not be done!”

I am here to hear your sins. I am here to counsel your transgressions. I am here.
The teen center is near completion but Satan himself must have a hold on the contractor because that fucker has held up construct for the past two weeks. I would like the knights and the men under 30 to go visit this shit head at the construction shack tomorrow morning. Now I am not saying that you should beat the shit out of him but I think that if he knew the force I command beside god’s he may step up the pace.
Now let us turn to our neighbor and shake their hand. Tell them that you are not worthy to be nest to them because you are going to go out into the parking lot and act the ass.

Amen