Showing posts with label pimps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pimps. Show all posts

A Letter To New York After Sandy



Dear Mayor Bloomberg,
 I would like to be the first in Texas to write you and extend our deepest sympathies over the tragic hurricane attack your shitty has fallen victim too. Rivalry aside, this is a terrible time for you all.

 We down in the gulf region know all too well the terrible devastation a hurricane attack can cause. Cheer up though you are a resourceful bunch, resilient in your strength and tenacious in the face of adversity and strong in your convictions. We here in Texas applaud you all and are certain that if you all stick together you can get the "Big Apple" on its feet in now time.

 I do want to say though, please do not come down here. We in Texas are still reeling from the welfare influx from Katrina the support we are still giving New Orleans is crippling and time consuming. We do not need or want your criminals mixing with the criminals from New Orleans. We do not need to be handing out any more welfare to any from your part of the United States, seriously the burden on our already hobbled budget is too taxed as it is and there are many other states that have the resources and the cash to accept your troubled citizenship. And quite frankly you all talk kinda funny.

 You all should stay up there focus on rebuilding "the city that never sleeps". Yeah that's the ticket, if you all work 24 7 like you all claim you could probably rebuild in the half the time it take New Orleans to recover (recovering).

 So um yeah that's all I really wanted to say. "Stay up there. DO NOT come down here!" and see if that fancy pants guy in the big house can send you all some help.

 Some advice though, don’t let those FEMA guys try to help they are more trouble than they are worth.



Sincerely
Rev. John Sleestaxx
 A Texas citizen.

In my neighborhood #6 By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

This morning in my neighborhood the power went out at like 6 am. Thank god I was already up because I did not want to be late to work.
 I have already shaved and brushed my teeth and was about to shower when the power went out. I showered in the dark I think I know my old fat body well enough to shower in the dark. lulz
 Anyway everyone was there to fix the power. The cops had my street blocked off. The garbage men were there as it was garbage day, the cable guys were there as they had to reroute some cables and shit. The gas man was there as they felt that maybe the gas line was in jeopardy if they had to do some digging.
 Something like 50 people crowded around the manhole cover in front of my house. Only 5 of them had orange hats the rest had white.
 Pamela had come over to ask for some candles. We talked about the power being out and how the last time this happened she went to Wendy’s door for candles and the "bitch" had handed her two sticks of dynamite. I laughed at the joke, but Pam still does not find it funny.
 Rollins was screaming about living off the grid and some stupid shit like that.
 Mc Hammer was in his pajamas drinking a cup of coffee. Or maybe he was wearing a new outfit. I have the toughest time telling the difference.
 I gave Pamela some tea candles and I closed the door. I got dressed for work and thought that maybe I could get the cops and everybody to let me out of the drive way.
 I was about to leave and there was a knock on the door. It was Johnny Cash. I opened the door and he began to babble about the inconvenience of it all.
 Just the some guy poked his head out of the hole in the ground and pointed towards my house. There was a long discussion and the supervisors turned to wards my house.
 so here I have a cop, a cable guy, a telephone repairman, a gas line supervisor and construction looking dude walking up to my house.
 I totally back grounded Johnny for a minute and he knew it and turned around.
 “Damn it!” he says There are too many people to fix this shit!”
 “What” I ask
 He says, “There are too many witnesses to stop the Village People from moving in.”
 

 



Currently reading


Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007

Seven Deadly Sins: Lust By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Today I would like to talk about lust.
Lust is the desire that wells in your soul so fiercely that it pushes the lord from your heart.
Lust is not just sex and sexual relations but also the desire and need to obtain or achieve something.
There are some whose lust is money and material things. Now although they are not thinking of fornicating bodies. They do not spend hours masturbating to images in their heads of hot naked sex. Jerking and rubbing their organs raw thinking of hard nude sweaty bodies, bodies licking and touching, tasting the perspiration and juices from one another in a twisted fleshy pile of carnal knowledge. Heaving and undulating, grinding and panting, slamming one body into another tearing one's soul from the other, screaming god's name and the names of a thousand other lovers as they climax and spill their seed onto one another.

Eze 23:11
“Her sister Oholibah watched this, but she became more corrupt in her lust than her sister
had been, and her acts of prostitution were more numerous than those of her sister.

But those fuckers are weird and twisted. They get off on money, they masturbate to pictures of dead presidents. They sold their soul to Satan so that they could have more material things. These material things and all things of this earth can not be taken into the kingdom of heaven. So they sold their soul for not.
Lust is a desire and the strongest desire is sex. God wanted his children to multiply and dominate the world so he created a strong sex drive.
This desire to have sex is lust. And lustful desires lead you to commit great tragic sins.
Whole operas are based on the twisted desires fueled by lust.
Entire 1 hour and 15 minute porno films are there to entice lustful feelings. Watching these films will cause your skin to inflame and your head drunk with desire. The feelings can become such that the air moving across your sweaty skin can drive you mad.

Eze 23:22
“Therefore, Oholibah, this is what the sovereign Lord says: Look here, I am about to stir
up against you the lovers with whom you were disgusted; I will bring them against you from every side:

Eze 23:36
The Lord said to me: “Son of man, are you willing to pronounce judgment on Oholah and
Oholibah? Then declare to them their abominable deeds!

When we are children our lust appears as a sweet tooth or a habit for junk food. Entire mega corporate empires are built on this lust. They inundate us and our children everyday with advertisements for junk food and candy.
Then when we grow hair and become adolescences and enter puberty we find that certain areas make us happy. Our lust changes to rubbing and touching these areas with other people’s areas.
The desire to rub with another becomes intense and an addiction. We get light headed, we begin to think unclear, and we begin to justify doing wrong things and sinful things to sedate this lust, this demon.

Exo 32:21
Moses said to Aaron, “What did this people do to you, that you have brought on them so
great a sin?”

Exo 32:30
The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a very serious sin, but now I will go up to the Lord – perhaps I can make atonement on behalf of your sin.”

Did you know that lust is controlled by a demon? Yes a demon! The demon’s name is Asmodeus. When you become so inflamed, so drunk with desire, you allow Asmodeus and opportunity to enter your body.
When Asmodeus enters you are no longer in control. You are now at the mercy of Satan’s harbingers of evil. Many of the children in today’s world have born because of the control of Asmodeus.
You girls here today need to watch for Asmodeus.

Exo 20:14
You shall not commit adultery.

You boys need to say no to Asmodeus.

Gen 39:10
Even though she continued to speak to Joseph day after day, he did not respond to her invitation to have sex with her.

You teenagers parking in cars need to not park in such private areas as that leaves an opportunity for Asmodeus to enter your vehicle and then you have sex!

Eze 23:8
She did not abandon the prostitution she had practiced in Egypt; for in her youth men had sex with her, fondled her virgin breasts, and ravished her.

You all are hot and dripping in sweat sex. Undulating and pressing sliding on the vinyl backseat sex. Thumping and bumping breathless panting wet sex. Grinding and pulsing nails racked across the back sex. In and out, teeth biting shoulders sex. Up and down fingers fumbling dark areas sex. Pelvic grinding pelvic like one huge fuck machine in the back seat of your daddy’s car. The two of you humping like animals with the windows fogged and the radio blaring Iron Butterfly’s “Ina-goda-da-vida”.

Col 3:5 So put to death whatever in your nature belongs to the earth: sexual immorality, impurity, shameful passion, evil desire, and greed which is idolatry.

Come to confession and confess your sins. Tell me of your sins and we will work to have you repent and have the darkness on your soul absolved.
Come to confession and tell me of you transgressions and we will work to keep Asmodeus at bay.

Exo 32:32
But now, if you will forgive their sin…, but if not, wipe me out from your book that you
have written.”

Do not let the sin of lust seal your fate. Do not get thrown into the lake of fire. For the burn you will feel from the lake will be mightier and more painful that the burn lust puts on your flesh. These lustful thoughts and feelings can be stopped. You can beat Asmodeus, you can whoop Satan’s ass just as I do everyday. But the first step is to get control of your head, your heart, and happy places.

Exo 32:34
So now go, lead the people to the place I have spoken to you about. See, my angel will go before you. But on the day that I punish, I will indeed punish them for their sin.”

There is time! [Bang On The Podium]
Now today! [Bang On The Podium]
Right this very moment stand and say “No I will not let my lust get the better of me.”
[Bang On The Podium] DO IT NOW!!!
I want every one of you all standing right now to see me, TODAY, and tell me of every moment that lust has been in control of your decisions and in control of your life. We will go over every detail and work through this together.

Rom 13:13
Let us live decently as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in discord and jealousy.

I do not care how vile, or how hot, or how perverted your tales are. We will work this out. We may have to meet more than once if your tales are long or many. But we will do this and we will get to the end. We will get relief from Asmodeus. We will vanquish the lust demon together. You do not have to do this alone.

Gen 18:20
So the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so
blatant

You know which one of you needs to stand this moment. You know you have been lustful and you have been rubbing your body with another.
Even you who has been rubbing yourself in the dark under the covers, head back silently screaming with ecstasy. Your fingers wrinkled from the wetness of you perspiration and spit. Rubbing and sliding over the same nervous areas that excite you. Up and down biting your lip as you think those evil thoughts. Gasping and panting while you play those hot images in the porno theatre of your mind.

Deu 13:6
Suppose your own full brother, your son, your daughter, your beloved wife, or your
closest friend should seduce you secretly and encourage you to go and serve other gods that neither you nor your ancestors have previously known,

Torturing that spot with little slippery circles while run scenarios of hot flesh rubbing yours. You think of the taste of flesh in your mouth. You recall the tastes of your salty lovers skin on your tongue. Like your mind recalls the images of the last time your failed to restrain yourself and how the sliding of their flesh on yours raised the hairs on your neck. Your fingers move faster as the images are played faster. Your breath quickens and you kick the covers off because the heat in the sheets is too much and your skin is aflame with desire for relief. Relief is coming, you know it is coming, but you want to wait just a little longer as your brain boil with images of naked people melting into more naked people. Your lust is mounting and you can no longer hold the tide. Your body shakes as waves of lustful pleasure roll over you.
Yeah you know who you are. You too need to come see me. We need to talk.

Exo 32:30
The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a very serious sin, but now I will go up to the Lord – perhaps I can make atonement on behalf of your sin.”

I want you all to think about how any times you invite Asmodeus into your lives. How many times does the television invite Asmodeus into your lives? What foods and what images are the ones that trigger the lustful thoughts. I know of a man that literately looses all control when he sees his wife vacuum. Seems simple enough but think about how many days there are and how many rooms there are in a house. Now think about how many times Asmodeus can get his wife to vacuum. Yeah that is what I am talking about. Asmodeus is a powerful demon but I know with confession and counseling we can turn this demon back and send him back to hell!

Gen 20:9
Abimelech summoned Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? What sin did I commit against you that would cause you to bring such great guilt on me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should not be done!”

I am here to hear your sins. I am here to counsel your transgressions. I am here.
The teen center is near completion but Satan himself must have a hold on the contractor because that fucker has held up construct for the past two weeks. I would like the knights and the men under 30 to go visit this shit head at the construction shack tomorrow morning. Now I am not saying that you should beat the shit out of him but I think that if he knew the force I command beside god’s he may step up the pace.
Now let us turn to our neighbor and shake their hand. Tell them that you are not worthy to be nest to them because you are going to go out into the parking lot and act the ass.

Amen