Coach pitch 7:30 game
Red vs White
Game start was 7:39
partner on plate
Top of 4th 1 out runner on second
Vistors 9
Home 3
Ball was hit hard down 3rd base line
partner calls foul coaches run the players regardless
Runner on second crosses home and partner is still calling foul.
Red coach comes running down first base line yelling and waving his arms "Who called foul?" "Who called foul?" (Coach had been hostile and challenging through out the game).
partner indicates she called foul and he yelled some more and began to get into partner’s face.
I stepped up and the coach yelled at me "How can she call foul?"
I replied “Because the ball was fielded in foul territory”
He yelled and I told him to calm down
He yelled and I told him to stop yelling at me
He yelled and I told him this was his last warning
He yelled and I told him that he was to leave the game and that he was done.
He yelled some more and then he tried to stay in the dugout and yell some more.
I told him that he was to go to the parking lot.
Ejection Report
Coach pitch 7:30 game
Red vs White
Game start was 7:39
partner on plate
Top of 4th 1 out runner on second
Vistors 9
Home 3
Ball was hit hard down 3rd base line
partner calls foul coaches run the players regardless
Runner on second crosses home and partner is still calling foul.
Red coach comes running down first base line yelling and waving his arms "Who called foul?" "Who called foul?" (Coach had been hostile and challenging through out the game).
partner indicates she called foul and he yelled some more and began to get into partner’s face.
I stepped up and the coach yelled at me "How can she call foul?"
I replied “Because the ball was fielded in foul territory”
He yelled and I told him to calm down
He yelled and I told him to stop yelling at me
He yelled and I told him this was his last warning
He yelled and I told him that he was to leave the game and that he was done.
He yelled some more and then he tried to stay in the dugout and yell some more.
I told him that he was to go to the parking lot.
Red vs White
Game start was 7:39
partner on plate
Top of 4th 1 out runner on second
Vistors 9
Home 3
Ball was hit hard down 3rd base line
partner calls foul coaches run the players regardless
Runner on second crosses home and partner is still calling foul.
Red coach comes running down first base line yelling and waving his arms "Who called foul?" "Who called foul?" (Coach had been hostile and challenging through out the game).
partner indicates she called foul and he yelled some more and began to get into partner’s face.
I stepped up and the coach yelled at me "How can she call foul?"
I replied “Because the ball was fielded in foul territory”
He yelled and I told him to calm down
He yelled and I told him to stop yelling at me
He yelled and I told him this was his last warning
He yelled and I told him that he was to leave the game and that he was done.
He yelled some more and then he tried to stay in the dugout and yell some more.
I told him that he was to go to the parking lot.
In My Neighborhood #15 Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Miley Cyrus has her lemonade stand out and Wendy and Billy idol are joging last evening this past Saturday and they have finished their 5th loop past the stand iand I guess the traffic has been slow because Miley calls to them "Hy you two must be thirsty by now you have ran past five times. How about some lemonade? On the house.
Really? Billy asks
“Yeah sure business” Miley Cyrus explains “has been slow and I have to pack it in soon and why should I waste it.”
“If you two like maybe next time you will stop and pay for some.”
So she pours two larges for them.
Wendy reaches into her sock for some cash and Miley Cyrus stops her "No ma-am I told you it was on the house."
Wendy says "Well the lemonade tastes great and I thought I would pay now for some and then later when you are out here again I can get some more.”
“No you two do not need to do that.”
“Why thank you.”
“You are sure a nice little girl.”
“Well you two sure are nice for punkers.”
Some laughter then Miley Cyrus asks, “Hey are you really punkers or are you all pretending for the image.”
Well that was it! Billy lost it. His harelip/whiplash pout jumped on his face and he began to yell "What you do not think I am punk? Well how about this?” And he pours the lemonade on Miley Cyrus’ head
Wendy just laughs and says “Hey Billy she is just a kid.”
“No man, here how about this?” And he jumps onto her table and begins to dance like in his rebel yell video.
And the table breaks.
“There now!” He says from the ground on his back "Is that punk enough for you?"
Miley begins to cry and Billy Ray Cyrus comes out and yells at Billy Idol. Billy begins to bawl about his back and Wendy starts to step in front of Mr. Cyrus and Billy Ray starts to step past Wendy and she side steps back in front and Billy Ray goes to push her, and Holy fucking Christ it was blur Wendy had Billy Ray Cyrus’ hand back and up and twisted. And then as Billy Ray Cyrus cried out, he was air borne flying backward and he hit the dirt in a big whuffff.
Now the two Bills were on the ground crying and Miley was crying and Wendy stood on Billy Ray Cyrus chest and began to yell “Get down you dumb muther fucker.”
Miley thought Wendy was talking to her and she dropped to the ground.
Everybody was crying now and Wendy was just yelling.
Johnny Cash came out to see what the noise was about and when he saw Wendy standing on Billy Ray Cyrus he ran over to the melee.
He helped little Miley Cyrus up and then he told her to go into the house
Then he stepped over to Wendy and shoved her off Billy Ray and helped Mr. Cyrus up
Then he reached down to Billy Idol and instead of helping him he grabbed the vest by the collar and brought him up to his face as he bent down at the same time. Then he said something to Billy Idol because Billy just shook his head, then he nodded his head and a dark spot showed up on his sweat pants. Billy Idol pee’d his pants. Johnny Cash scare the piss out of Billy Idol.
Miley Cyrus's mother came running out and when she made eye contact with Wendy she stopped running and walked up the mess.
John let go of Billy with a disgusted motion and strode back to his house.
Miley Cyrus pointed at Billy Idol and whispered to her mother who turned and told Miley Cyrus to go back into the house.
She went to her husband and asked him if he was alright.
Then she looked at Billy idol and Wendy and told them "It might be best if you two do not stop for lemonade any more." then she turned to her husband and said "I want to move right now"
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Really? Billy asks
“Yeah sure business” Miley Cyrus explains “has been slow and I have to pack it in soon and why should I waste it.”
“If you two like maybe next time you will stop and pay for some.”
So she pours two larges for them.
Wendy reaches into her sock for some cash and Miley Cyrus stops her "No ma-am I told you it was on the house."
Wendy says "Well the lemonade tastes great and I thought I would pay now for some and then later when you are out here again I can get some more.”
“No you two do not need to do that.”
“Why thank you.”
“You are sure a nice little girl.”
“Well you two sure are nice for punkers.”
Some laughter then Miley Cyrus asks, “Hey are you really punkers or are you all pretending for the image.”
Well that was it! Billy lost it. His harelip/whiplash pout jumped on his face and he began to yell "What you do not think I am punk? Well how about this?” And he pours the lemonade on Miley Cyrus’ head
Wendy just laughs and says “Hey Billy she is just a kid.”
“No man, here how about this?” And he jumps onto her table and begins to dance like in his rebel yell video.
And the table breaks.
“There now!” He says from the ground on his back "Is that punk enough for you?"
Miley begins to cry and Billy Ray Cyrus comes out and yells at Billy Idol. Billy begins to bawl about his back and Wendy starts to step in front of Mr. Cyrus and Billy Ray starts to step past Wendy and she side steps back in front and Billy Ray goes to push her, and Holy fucking Christ it was blur Wendy had Billy Ray Cyrus’ hand back and up and twisted. And then as Billy Ray Cyrus cried out, he was air borne flying backward and he hit the dirt in a big whuffff.
Now the two Bills were on the ground crying and Miley was crying and Wendy stood on Billy Ray Cyrus chest and began to yell “Get down you dumb muther fucker.”
Miley thought Wendy was talking to her and she dropped to the ground.
Everybody was crying now and Wendy was just yelling.
Johnny Cash came out to see what the noise was about and when he saw Wendy standing on Billy Ray Cyrus he ran over to the melee.
He helped little Miley Cyrus up and then he told her to go into the house
Then he stepped over to Wendy and shoved her off Billy Ray and helped Mr. Cyrus up
Then he reached down to Billy Idol and instead of helping him he grabbed the vest by the collar and brought him up to his face as he bent down at the same time. Then he said something to Billy Idol because Billy just shook his head, then he nodded his head and a dark spot showed up on his sweat pants. Billy Idol pee’d his pants. Johnny Cash scare the piss out of Billy Idol.
Miley Cyrus's mother came running out and when she made eye contact with Wendy she stopped running and walked up the mess.
John let go of Billy with a disgusted motion and strode back to his house.
Miley Cyrus pointed at Billy Idol and whispered to her mother who turned and told Miley Cyrus to go back into the house.
She went to her husband and asked him if he was alright.
Then she looked at Billy idol and Wendy and told them "It might be best if you two do not stop for lemonade any more." then she turned to her husband and said "I want to move right now"
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Also reading 
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..
Baseball and internet groupies
Blue vs Yellow
Close tag play at second
Partner calls him out
The yellow coach charges the field "how can you call him out?"
My partner looks to him "first of all coach there is a live ball on the field and you need to call time, now go back and ask for time."
He goes back to the foul line calls time my partner grants the coach just yells at him about his call
partner: "now coach that will be enough there is no need to act this way.
Coach: blah blah more yelling
partner: No coach that will be enough
coach: i am not trying to argue with you but blah blah more yelling
Partner: that is enough you need to stop
Me: coach coach COACH!
Coach (now turns on me): he can not make that call he was out of...
Me: my partner said that will be enough you are not listening that will he enough
coach: He can not
Me: no that is enough
coach: i am not arguing
Me: no that is enough
coach: But
Me: No coach you are down to stopping this now or the parking lot
coach: No listen he not in position he can not
Me: No coach you are done that is enough you are to go to the parking lot
Me: no coach to the parking lot
he leaves we finish the game
i talk to the tourney director
he talks to the team
he comes back and asks did you give him a warning?
yes several
They said you did not
Well they are wrong
Yeah they usually are
The director talks to the UIC
the UIC says that a warning must contain the word warning
Crap shit fuck damn shit fucking damn fuckers.
I fucked a rule and I missed another ejection on a player yellow batter runner collided with first baseman in a malicious manner but I missed it enough to not call it and then in mental replay I should have thrown the player out.
The rule. When the pitcher steps off and wild throws it is two bases not one shit damn shit damn
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Close tag play at second
Partner calls him out
The yellow coach charges the field "how can you call him out?"
My partner looks to him "first of all coach there is a live ball on the field and you need to call time, now go back and ask for time."
He goes back to the foul line calls time my partner grants the coach just yells at him about his call
partner: "now coach that will be enough there is no need to act this way.
Coach: blah blah more yelling
partner: No coach that will be enough
coach: i am not trying to argue with you but blah blah more yelling
Partner: that is enough you need to stop
Me: coach coach COACH!
Coach (now turns on me): he can not make that call he was out of...
Me: my partner said that will be enough you are not listening that will he enough
coach: He can not
Me: no that is enough
coach: i am not arguing
Me: no that is enough
coach: But
Me: No coach you are down to stopping this now or the parking lot
coach: No listen he not in position he can not
Me: No coach you are done that is enough you are to go to the parking lot
Me: no coach to the parking lot
he leaves we finish the game
i talk to the tourney director
he talks to the team
he comes back and asks did you give him a warning?
yes several
They said you did not
Well they are wrong
Yeah they usually are
The director talks to the UIC
the UIC says that a warning must contain the word warning
Crap shit fuck damn shit fucking damn fuckers.
I fucked a rule and I missed another ejection on a player yellow batter runner collided with first baseman in a malicious manner but I missed it enough to not call it and then in mental replay I should have thrown the player out.
The rule. When the pitcher steps off and wild throws it is two bases not one shit damn shit damn
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Also reading
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..
Get In The Game Or We All Lose. By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Get In The Game Or We All Lose.
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
I would like to talk about the laziness of some and the stupidity of the rest
We all know the story of the ant and the grasshopper.
In summary;
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
But the whining bleeding hearts have brought about a change of the worst kind. The Katrina victims have brought light onto a new type of citizen, a new type of drag on society, another leak in the damn that is the American economy and thus created a new version of the story.
I can not take credit for this as I received the story in an e-mail with out an author.
So here how the new story goes,
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.
Jer 12:1
Lord, you have always been fair whenever I have complained to you. However, I would like to speak with you about the disposition of justice. Why are wicked people successful? Why do all dishonest people have such easy lives?
Pro 1:19
Such are the ways of all who gain profit unjustly; it takes away the life of those who obtain it!
Pro 10:2
Treasures gained by wickedness do not profit, but righteousness delivers from mortal danger.
Pro 11:4
Wealth does not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from mortal danger.
Pro 14:23
In all hard work there is profit, but merely talking about it only brings poverty.
They are successful because they fight and they cheat. You can be successful without cheating but you have to get in there and fight for what is yours.
Yes that is right another “get in the game sermon.”
I know that I have spoken three other times but these are the ones that I am asked to bring to my speaking engagements and my pos-mo sermons.
You all need to get in the goddamn game.
Psa 38:9
O Lord, you understand my heart’s desire; my groaning is not hidden from you.
Psa 51:6
Look, you desire integrity in the inner man; you want me to possess wisdom.
Psa 51:12
Let me again experience the joy of your deliverance! Sustain me by giving me the desire to obey!
You all need to get in the goddamn game.
Psa 73:25
Whom do I have in heaven but you? I desire no one but you on earth.
Psa 95:10
For forty years I was continually disgusted with that generation, and I said, ‘These people desire to go astray; they do not obey my commands.’
I see many of you at the food line too many times. Are you all playing video games instead of looking for a job??
What the fuck are you all doing?
Psa 75:5
Do not be so certain you have won! Do not speak with your head held so high!
I know that we have a job board in the lobby that is filled with many jobs that do not require any special training.
Get off your damn asses and get to fucking work!
Make money!
Provide for your family!
Take pride in your life!
Tithe to the church!
Do not be the slothful grasshopper and not prepare for leaner times.
Do not be a hobo or hippy that does not need money. Money is what makes the world go around.
Be a provider! Set an example to your family on how to get in and compete.
With out competition there will be no finish line there will be no end. You must race to finish.
Eze 33:5
He heard the sound of the trumpet but did not heed the warning, so he is responsible for himself. If he had heeded the warning, he would have saved his life.
Be proud that you live a life of ass kicking. Be proud that you live a life of self sufficiency. Revel in the fact that what you put on the table is what you brought home not something that someone gave you.
Stop being a drag on the rest of us and be one that helps build not tear down. Help bring the First Execration Church of Odium Anathema to the place that rivals any other church both in community and in family.
The lord has spoken to me and has told me that if my community does not pick it there will be hell to pay.
[Yell and bang on podium]That is right! [Yell and bang on podium] Hell to pay.
So for now on –if you want to get a hand out at the food bank you have to come down to the church 2 days a week and box with me for 10 minutes before you can get a box of groceries.
That is right you will now have to work for the hand out.
If you do not like that then you can try to leech off the First Baptist Church down the street but be advised I have already spoken to the rest of the food banks and distributed pictures and outlines to the rest that you are a dead beat and a loser. If you do not like this then move to the next town.
The Knights of Acrimony will be more than happy to drive you with the rest of the fucking homeless losers they run out of town every week.
The times of free hand outs is over the times of coasting and getting by has hurt this country dearly and now we are all paying for the mistakes of generations before us.
Get off your asses and get in the game.
Finish the race right and just. Finish with a sense of pride and build a better community now and for the future.
The more of you deadbeats the harder it is for us the longer you all drag the harder it is for the rest of us.
One day they will say you know what you can just give up your freedoms and your choices. We are going to take care of everything and there you will not get to make any choices as we can make better ones for you all.
Mat 23:36
I tell you the truth, this generation will be held responsible for all these things!
Then two generations later after that they say you know this is not worki9ng so now you have to work will we tell you work and no you do not get any choices in return you are still unable to think for yourselves and there we have the perfect government controlled society.
Jer 5:28
That is how they have grown fat and sleek. There is no limit to the evil things they do. They do not plead the cause of the fatherless in such a way as to win it. They do not defend the rights of the poor.
They will pump the porn to your home to keep you inside and they will pump the television with government propaganda so the rest will be afraid to go out side and since you all lost the will to fight or care you all doomed us to an Orwellian society. And we all suffer and die a controlled death and are miserable.
1Co 9:24
Do you not know that all the runners in a stadium compete, but only one receives the prize? So run to win.
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get on the ball!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get on the stick!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Just do it!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get over it!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get it together!
Fucking wake yup you pathetic bunch of lazy bastards.
[Bang on the podium and yell]FUCK!
Do not let the sinners win.
Do not let the cheaters walk away with the prize
Do not just roll over and whimper!
Scream kick and punch the crap out of the heathens until the relinquish that which is yours.
Now go and fight for that cookie.
Fight for that cup of coffee.
Fight for that place in traffic.
Kick some ass and see me next week.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
I would like to talk about the laziness of some and the stupidity of the rest
We all know the story of the ant and the grasshopper.
In summary;
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
But the whining bleeding hearts have brought about a change of the worst kind. The Katrina victims have brought light onto a new type of citizen, a new type of drag on society, another leak in the damn that is the American economy and thus created a new version of the story.
I can not take credit for this as I received the story in an e-mail with out an author.
So here how the new story goes,
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.
Jer 12:1
Lord, you have always been fair whenever I have complained to you. However, I would like to speak with you about the disposition of justice. Why are wicked people successful? Why do all dishonest people have such easy lives?
Pro 1:19
Such are the ways of all who gain profit unjustly; it takes away the life of those who obtain it!
Pro 10:2
Treasures gained by wickedness do not profit, but righteousness delivers from mortal danger.
Pro 11:4
Wealth does not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from mortal danger.
Pro 14:23
In all hard work there is profit, but merely talking about it only brings poverty.
They are successful because they fight and they cheat. You can be successful without cheating but you have to get in there and fight for what is yours.
Yes that is right another “get in the game sermon.”
I know that I have spoken three other times but these are the ones that I am asked to bring to my speaking engagements and my pos-mo sermons.
You all need to get in the goddamn game.
Psa 38:9
O Lord, you understand my heart’s desire; my groaning is not hidden from you.
Psa 51:6
Look, you desire integrity in the inner man; you want me to possess wisdom.
Psa 51:12
Let me again experience the joy of your deliverance! Sustain me by giving me the desire to obey!
You all need to get in the goddamn game.
Psa 73:25
Whom do I have in heaven but you? I desire no one but you on earth.
Psa 95:10
For forty years I was continually disgusted with that generation, and I said, ‘These people desire to go astray; they do not obey my commands.’
I see many of you at the food line too many times. Are you all playing video games instead of looking for a job??
What the fuck are you all doing?
Psa 75:5
Do not be so certain you have won! Do not speak with your head held so high!
I know that we have a job board in the lobby that is filled with many jobs that do not require any special training.
Get off your damn asses and get to fucking work!
Make money!
Provide for your family!
Take pride in your life!
Tithe to the church!
Do not be the slothful grasshopper and not prepare for leaner times.
Do not be a hobo or hippy that does not need money. Money is what makes the world go around.
Be a provider! Set an example to your family on how to get in and compete.
With out competition there will be no finish line there will be no end. You must race to finish.
Eze 33:5
He heard the sound of the trumpet but did not heed the warning, so he is responsible for himself. If he had heeded the warning, he would have saved his life.
Be proud that you live a life of ass kicking. Be proud that you live a life of self sufficiency. Revel in the fact that what you put on the table is what you brought home not something that someone gave you.
Stop being a drag on the rest of us and be one that helps build not tear down. Help bring the First Execration Church of Odium Anathema to the place that rivals any other church both in community and in family.
The lord has spoken to me and has told me that if my community does not pick it there will be hell to pay.
[Yell and bang on podium]That is right! [Yell and bang on podium] Hell to pay.
So for now on –if you want to get a hand out at the food bank you have to come down to the church 2 days a week and box with me for 10 minutes before you can get a box of groceries.
That is right you will now have to work for the hand out.
If you do not like that then you can try to leech off the First Baptist Church down the street but be advised I have already spoken to the rest of the food banks and distributed pictures and outlines to the rest that you are a dead beat and a loser. If you do not like this then move to the next town.
The Knights of Acrimony will be more than happy to drive you with the rest of the fucking homeless losers they run out of town every week.
The times of free hand outs is over the times of coasting and getting by has hurt this country dearly and now we are all paying for the mistakes of generations before us.
Get off your asses and get in the game.
Finish the race right and just. Finish with a sense of pride and build a better community now and for the future.
The more of you deadbeats the harder it is for us the longer you all drag the harder it is for the rest of us.
One day they will say you know what you can just give up your freedoms and your choices. We are going to take care of everything and there you will not get to make any choices as we can make better ones for you all.
Mat 23:36
I tell you the truth, this generation will be held responsible for all these things!
Then two generations later after that they say you know this is not worki9ng so now you have to work will we tell you work and no you do not get any choices in return you are still unable to think for yourselves and there we have the perfect government controlled society.
Jer 5:28
That is how they have grown fat and sleek. There is no limit to the evil things they do. They do not plead the cause of the fatherless in such a way as to win it. They do not defend the rights of the poor.
They will pump the porn to your home to keep you inside and they will pump the television with government propaganda so the rest will be afraid to go out side and since you all lost the will to fight or care you all doomed us to an Orwellian society. And we all suffer and die a controlled death and are miserable.
1Co 9:24
Do you not know that all the runners in a stadium compete, but only one receives the prize? So run to win.
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get on the ball!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get on the stick!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Just do it!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get over it!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get it together!
Fucking wake yup you pathetic bunch of lazy bastards.
[Bang on the podium and yell]FUCK!
Do not let the sinners win.
Do not let the cheaters walk away with the prize
Do not just roll over and whimper!
Scream kick and punch the crap out of the heathens until the relinquish that which is yours.
Now go and fight for that cookie.
Fight for that cup of coffee.
Fight for that place in traffic.
Kick some ass and see me next week.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Also reading
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..
I have a condition
So I have a story to tell you all.
I was a bad kid when I was younger. I did things that no one can understand unless they have been there. And those that have been there are usually dead or they will not talk about it. And so not to do those things I did different things.
And I am not going to talk about any of it except that I am going to say that one day a terrible terrible tragedy befell me and I was in a predicament that one talks to god in all earnest. And these stories are told all the time if the person experiencing them lives to tell the tale and witness.
So today I am going to witness
I was staring down the barrel of a gun one day and I knew I was going to die I knew this because I was going to pull the trigger. I was going to me my killer. I was going to right many injustices. This was not suicide nothing even close to it. I was going to be my judge jury and executioner. I had done some things that people are killed for and I was not going to do them any more.
I was there looking into the black hole that is the barrel of the shotgun and I was going over my crimes. all of them every single one because I carry them around with me and every day I wake I sit on the edge of my bed and I first go over my crimes and then I go over my list of hated people. This list is short because if I am to go over this list I do not want to go over much.
The list of crimes range from felonies to misdemeanors to crimes against nature and my fellow man.
That day I was putting my self on trial.
And I had no defense except I was just trying to survive.
So I had finished the case and I decided that I should be put down. And I pleaded with god to please stop this and let me live and god spoke to me. He said that the fact I was talking to him and that I was about to try myself for my crimes meant that I was repentant and that he forgave me.
He told me to become a witness and to spread the word through my ministry in my way. And then he touched my hands.
So every year about this time in April I have these markings on my hands they last about three days and they are gone.
I do not know and I do not talk about it with anyone.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
I was a bad kid when I was younger. I did things that no one can understand unless they have been there. And those that have been there are usually dead or they will not talk about it. And so not to do those things I did different things.
And I am not going to talk about any of it except that I am going to say that one day a terrible terrible tragedy befell me and I was in a predicament that one talks to god in all earnest. And these stories are told all the time if the person experiencing them lives to tell the tale and witness.
So today I am going to witness
I was staring down the barrel of a gun one day and I knew I was going to die I knew this because I was going to pull the trigger. I was going to me my killer. I was going to right many injustices. This was not suicide nothing even close to it. I was going to be my judge jury and executioner. I had done some things that people are killed for and I was not going to do them any more.
I was there looking into the black hole that is the barrel of the shotgun and I was going over my crimes. all of them every single one because I carry them around with me and every day I wake I sit on the edge of my bed and I first go over my crimes and then I go over my list of hated people. This list is short because if I am to go over this list I do not want to go over much.
The list of crimes range from felonies to misdemeanors to crimes against nature and my fellow man.
That day I was putting my self on trial.
And I had no defense except I was just trying to survive.
So I had finished the case and I decided that I should be put down. And I pleaded with god to please stop this and let me live and god spoke to me. He said that the fact I was talking to him and that I was about to try myself for my crimes meant that I was repentant and that he forgave me.
He told me to become a witness and to spread the word through my ministry in my way. And then he touched my hands.
So every year about this time in April I have these markings on my hands they last about three days and they are gone.
I do not know and I do not talk about it with anyone.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Also reading
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..
The madness continues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFCSXr6qnv4
This is so disturbing that i have wept a river of tears and i can not even look at my own blog
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Also reading
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..
Thieving, adultery and the game of life. By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Thieving, adultery and the game of life.
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
It seems that there are some busy bodies in the congregation. Some nosey gossipy old women. I keep finding pieces of paper under the door, notes being slipped under the crack for me to find so that I may source and correct these tragic failures of righteous living. They tell tales of wickedness and deceit.
These are truly wondrous stories of adultery and clandestine meetings in cheap Motor Inns. Fantastic tales and romantic stories of embezzlement, corporate espionage, and insider trading that would make many authors weep and drool fro story lines as terrific as these.
I had one that was two pages front and back about how one member of the community felt that his wife was cheating on him and asking me to intervene with a sermon or a visit to this member’s home. He stated that he was about to take matters into his own hands and file for divorce.
I do not normally cow toe to the pleadings of others but this has been a slow week and I have been too busy with my tour to find another subject to talk to you about but hey this is important also.
Lev 19:18
You must not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the children of your people, but you must love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.
Lev 26:25
I will bring on you an avenging sword, a covenant vengeance. Although you will gather together into your cities, I will send pestilence among you and you will be given into enemy hands.
Now I come from a broken home and I see the evil and stress that an act like this can create, but I also know that one must do what one must do.
To the members of this community that are committing adulterous acts, STOP [BANG on Podium] Stop right now. File for divorce and cut the cancer that is destroying your mate's life. Yes [Yelling] YOU are the cancer. Get right! Come down and see me. I will beat you back to the path of the lord and a happy marriage.
Or just cut the ties that bind you from living a life of deceit and decadent pleasures. You are destroying a bond, a union that was created ion heaven by god and in gods witness you promised to honor your mate. Let this be the last loving act you perform for this spouse. Divorce and be done with you and your evil ways.
If you think I am cruel and I maybe wrong then bring your happy ass down and bring that lecherous buffoon that is your clandestine lover. You and them can both enter he ring and plead your case on why you are right and god is wrong. And I will beat both your asses into the fucking ground because you know that I am right [bang on the podium] and that god is on my side!
1 John 3:7 Little children, let no one deceive you: The one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as Jesus is righteous. 3:8 The one who practices sin is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was revealed: to destroy the works of the devil.
It will not be me who really beats you to with in an inch of your life it will be god who beats you. It is always god that does the beatings. He beats the shit out of everyone through me. He fills me with the Holy Spirit like you all but instead of tongues and healings I am giving the gift of possession and I beat the shit out of you sinners. You weak sons of bitches that can not follow simple fucking instructions. Jesus h Christ guys how fucking hard is it to follow 10 simple rules and avoid seven fucking sins.
Christ what a bunch of freaking losers!
Num 22:23
And the ass saw the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn in his hand, so the ass turned aside from the road and went into the field. But Balaam beat the ass, to make her turn back to the road.
You are all the ass that runs from god every chance you get. I am here to beat you back to the path of righteousness.
Your kids are looking at you and seeing how you all act and when you act the fool your kids will act the fool and the world will act the fool and you all will cause great harm to the rest of us who are trying to live as god wanted us to. If you all cause the apocalypse during my time I will be very pissed off.
2Sa 22:39
I wipe them out and beat them to death; they cannot get up; they fall at my feet.
Psa 18:38
I beat them to death; they fall at my feet.
Psa 18:42
I grind them as fine windblown dust; I beat them underfoot like clay in the streets.
Yes you can bring the apocalypse down upon us. And you should not have to think about your tally sheet. You should have confidence that your tally sheet is positive.
Do not wait until your end times and look out on the acts within your play and say yeah I have enough good. You should know with thinking that you are positive because there may not be a reflective time. The lord may call you home right now! [Snap fingers]
1thes 4:17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be suddenly caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will always be with the Lord. 4:18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.
The stories of stealing from work, the store, the bank, [Yelling] Your church is freaking horrendous and a criminal shame. How laughable it is that you would all steal from the one place that gives you peace and salvation.
I am speaking directly to you. Stop this thieving now! The thieving of monetary material things does not help you and does not help your neighbor. Now I want you to turn to your neighbor and tell them you are sorry.
Now if your neighbor said they were sorry I want you to beat the shit out of them now.
Hos 4:2
There is only cursing, lying, murder, stealing, and adultery. They resort to violence and bloodshed.
Rom 2:21
therefore you who teach someone else, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal?
Why would one steal from the church? I would like to know. Is it not the church that has shown you the way to the light?
Is it not the church that has put food on your table when needed? Weren’t most of you lost when I beat the crap out of you and you saw the light?
Actually I know that no one is stealing front he church because I have a mathematical equation that tells me based on the number in the congregation and the income of you all how much I should expect to see in the plate and the numbers are always very close.
But to steal from work?
You are going to lose your job. If you feel that work owes you more then ask for it. If they do not give it to you then leave. The best way to take what is yours is to take the very thing that makes that company what that company is and that is you and your talent.
Get paid but do not cheat.
Get right but do not sin.
Get love but do not commit adultery.
Get yours but do not steal.
Get them before they get you.
Jer 13:27
People of Jerusalem, I have seen your adulterous worship, your shameless prostitution to, and your lustful pursuit of, other gods. I have seen your disgusting acts of worship on the hills throughout the countryside. You are doomed to destruction! How long will you continue to be unclean?’”
Phi 3:2
Beware of the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of those who mutilate the flesh! For we are the circumcision, the ones who worship by the Spirit of God, exult in Christ Jesus, and do not rely on human credentials
There are many out there to take advantage of you. If you let them, then it is your fault. Make them pay for what is yours.
There are many traps and pitfalls on the road to the lord. Stay the straight and narrow and do not sin but make them pay for what is yours.
Find a mate who supports you and support that mate back. Between the two of you, you can make them pay for what is yours.
If you think it belongs to you then it does. If it turns out that t belongs to someone else get a reward for the return but do not take from another, do not steal. But by all means beat the shit out of any thief you find!
The game of life is a competition, do not be mistaken. From the time of the cave man we have had to compete for food, shelter, fire, and a mate to carry our genes on.
Part of competing is resource gathering, another part of competing is making the competition lose. You can not have a winner with out a loser. Do not be the loser be the winner. Get them before they get you. Make them the loser and make you the winner.
Beat them into the ground. And when you receive your prize TAKE IT! And when you take the prize make the competition your podium by standing on their backs, their heads, and their necks, and when you receive the prize look down at the loser and thank them for being the loser for with out them you would have just been a thief.
Please please remember that you are not to steal ever!
Remember that not only is god watching you but some poor lonely bored slob here at church.
And if you are the poor lonely slob maybe you should spend more time in game competing then whining about how the game is played.
Lives is not a spectator sport either play or die!
Now get out there and fight.
Now get out there and win
GET OUT THERE AND BEAT SOME GOD INTO SOMEBODY!
Get out of here and have some damn cookies and coffee.
Get out of here and help a single mother with a chore.
Get out of here and make some fucking money and bring it back.
Get out of here and buy my damn book (that goes on sale December 1st through LULU.com)
Go in peace AMEN.
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
It seems that there are some busy bodies in the congregation. Some nosey gossipy old women. I keep finding pieces of paper under the door, notes being slipped under the crack for me to find so that I may source and correct these tragic failures of righteous living. They tell tales of wickedness and deceit.
These are truly wondrous stories of adultery and clandestine meetings in cheap Motor Inns. Fantastic tales and romantic stories of embezzlement, corporate espionage, and insider trading that would make many authors weep and drool fro story lines as terrific as these.
I had one that was two pages front and back about how one member of the community felt that his wife was cheating on him and asking me to intervene with a sermon or a visit to this member’s home. He stated that he was about to take matters into his own hands and file for divorce.
I do not normally cow toe to the pleadings of others but this has been a slow week and I have been too busy with my tour to find another subject to talk to you about but hey this is important also.
Lev 19:18
You must not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the children of your people, but you must love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.
Lev 26:25
I will bring on you an avenging sword, a covenant vengeance. Although you will gather together into your cities, I will send pestilence among you and you will be given into enemy hands.
Now I come from a broken home and I see the evil and stress that an act like this can create, but I also know that one must do what one must do.
To the members of this community that are committing adulterous acts, STOP [BANG on Podium] Stop right now. File for divorce and cut the cancer that is destroying your mate's life. Yes [Yelling] YOU are the cancer. Get right! Come down and see me. I will beat you back to the path of the lord and a happy marriage.
Or just cut the ties that bind you from living a life of deceit and decadent pleasures. You are destroying a bond, a union that was created ion heaven by god and in gods witness you promised to honor your mate. Let this be the last loving act you perform for this spouse. Divorce and be done with you and your evil ways.
If you think I am cruel and I maybe wrong then bring your happy ass down and bring that lecherous buffoon that is your clandestine lover. You and them can both enter he ring and plead your case on why you are right and god is wrong. And I will beat both your asses into the fucking ground because you know that I am right [bang on the podium] and that god is on my side!
1 John 3:7 Little children, let no one deceive you: The one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as Jesus is righteous. 3:8 The one who practices sin is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was revealed: to destroy the works of the devil.
It will not be me who really beats you to with in an inch of your life it will be god who beats you. It is always god that does the beatings. He beats the shit out of everyone through me. He fills me with the Holy Spirit like you all but instead of tongues and healings I am giving the gift of possession and I beat the shit out of you sinners. You weak sons of bitches that can not follow simple fucking instructions. Jesus h Christ guys how fucking hard is it to follow 10 simple rules and avoid seven fucking sins.
Christ what a bunch of freaking losers!
Num 22:23
And the ass saw the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn in his hand, so the ass turned aside from the road and went into the field. But Balaam beat the ass, to make her turn back to the road.
You are all the ass that runs from god every chance you get. I am here to beat you back to the path of righteousness.
Your kids are looking at you and seeing how you all act and when you act the fool your kids will act the fool and the world will act the fool and you all will cause great harm to the rest of us who are trying to live as god wanted us to. If you all cause the apocalypse during my time I will be very pissed off.
2Sa 22:39
I wipe them out and beat them to death; they cannot get up; they fall at my feet.
Psa 18:38
I beat them to death; they fall at my feet.
Psa 18:42
I grind them as fine windblown dust; I beat them underfoot like clay in the streets.
Yes you can bring the apocalypse down upon us. And you should not have to think about your tally sheet. You should have confidence that your tally sheet is positive.
Do not wait until your end times and look out on the acts within your play and say yeah I have enough good. You should know with thinking that you are positive because there may not be a reflective time. The lord may call you home right now! [Snap fingers]
1thes 4:17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be suddenly caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will always be with the Lord. 4:18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.
The stories of stealing from work, the store, the bank, [Yelling] Your church is freaking horrendous and a criminal shame. How laughable it is that you would all steal from the one place that gives you peace and salvation.
I am speaking directly to you. Stop this thieving now! The thieving of monetary material things does not help you and does not help your neighbor. Now I want you to turn to your neighbor and tell them you are sorry.
Now if your neighbor said they were sorry I want you to beat the shit out of them now.
Hos 4:2
There is only cursing, lying, murder, stealing, and adultery. They resort to violence and bloodshed.
Rom 2:21
therefore you who teach someone else, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal?
Why would one steal from the church? I would like to know. Is it not the church that has shown you the way to the light?
Is it not the church that has put food on your table when needed? Weren’t most of you lost when I beat the crap out of you and you saw the light?
Actually I know that no one is stealing front he church because I have a mathematical equation that tells me based on the number in the congregation and the income of you all how much I should expect to see in the plate and the numbers are always very close.
But to steal from work?
You are going to lose your job. If you feel that work owes you more then ask for it. If they do not give it to you then leave. The best way to take what is yours is to take the very thing that makes that company what that company is and that is you and your talent.
Get paid but do not cheat.
Get right but do not sin.
Get love but do not commit adultery.
Get yours but do not steal.
Get them before they get you.
Jer 13:27
People of Jerusalem, I have seen your adulterous worship, your shameless prostitution to, and your lustful pursuit of, other gods. I have seen your disgusting acts of worship on the hills throughout the countryside. You are doomed to destruction! How long will you continue to be unclean?’”
Phi 3:2
Beware of the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of those who mutilate the flesh! For we are the circumcision, the ones who worship by the Spirit of God, exult in Christ Jesus, and do not rely on human credentials
There are many out there to take advantage of you. If you let them, then it is your fault. Make them pay for what is yours.
There are many traps and pitfalls on the road to the lord. Stay the straight and narrow and do not sin but make them pay for what is yours.
Find a mate who supports you and support that mate back. Between the two of you, you can make them pay for what is yours.
If you think it belongs to you then it does. If it turns out that t belongs to someone else get a reward for the return but do not take from another, do not steal. But by all means beat the shit out of any thief you find!
The game of life is a competition, do not be mistaken. From the time of the cave man we have had to compete for food, shelter, fire, and a mate to carry our genes on.
Part of competing is resource gathering, another part of competing is making the competition lose. You can not have a winner with out a loser. Do not be the loser be the winner. Get them before they get you. Make them the loser and make you the winner.
Beat them into the ground. And when you receive your prize TAKE IT! And when you take the prize make the competition your podium by standing on their backs, their heads, and their necks, and when you receive the prize look down at the loser and thank them for being the loser for with out them you would have just been a thief.
Please please remember that you are not to steal ever!
Remember that not only is god watching you but some poor lonely bored slob here at church.
And if you are the poor lonely slob maybe you should spend more time in game competing then whining about how the game is played.
Lives is not a spectator sport either play or die!
Now get out there and fight.
Now get out there and win
GET OUT THERE AND BEAT SOME GOD INTO SOMEBODY!
Get out of here and have some damn cookies and coffee.
Get out of here and help a single mother with a chore.
Get out of here and make some fucking money and bring it back.
Get out of here and buy my damn book (that goes on sale December 1st through LULU.com)
Go in peace AMEN.
| Currently reading Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007 | | Also reading With A Mouthful Of Razorblades By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 6 February, 2007 |
random propaganda
These links came to me as i was doing my taxes.
My AIM popped up and told me to enlighten myself
i did not recognize the screen name so
me: who the fuck is this and what the fuck do you fucking want
them: they said to just watch
me: do i know you?
them: yes we ar efriends
me: i do not know the name and i do not click links from fucking morons
them: just click the link
me: what is it going to tell me how to increase my penis size?
me: or just drop a back door bot on my HD
them: just watch the fucking clip
me: you are not getting any fucking points talking to me like that asswipe
them: we know each other from pimpwar.com
them: and maybe fantasy football
me: i do not play fantasy football but i do play pimpwar
me: you masshole?
them: no he is a dick
me: now see you almost had me and then you dropped the dick word
them: lol
I copy and paste the link
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vuBo4E77ZXo&feature=related
me: This is what i have been preaching about in sermons and blogs http://cwtstraydog.blogspot.com/ and http://revjohnsleestaxx.blogspot.com/ and http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=49655310
Them: i have 30 people watching the clip and you are the only person talking to me.
me: they are sheep and they are not watching the clip. they are lieing to you they are all lying to you.
them: you really a priest?
me: yes i am an ordained minister so i am a preacher or reverend
them: i have a question
me: i have to do my fucking taxes
them: just go to this link and cue to 8:25 in the movie and watch for 15 minutes
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/
me: wtf??
them: just go there
I go there and the premise is that all religion is false and all religions tell the very same story, 12 dispiles born on the 25th of December and was killed and came back to life.
me: the video locked up at 10 minutes what did you want to know
them: is it true?
me: what?
them: the video part about religion
me: no they pencil whipped some data and stretched some false hoods and then they took much more out of context. if you are worried about this propaganda then you should sit down down with your clergy
them: i am roman catholic
me: you are fucked
me: they freak when you ask questions but they have become more progressive and will talk to you about these things.
them: thanks
me: np
My AIM popped up and told me to enlighten myself
i did not recognize the screen name so
me: who the fuck is this and what the fuck do you fucking want
them: they said to just watch
me: do i know you?
them: yes we ar efriends
me: i do not know the name and i do not click links from fucking morons
them: just click the link
me: what is it going to tell me how to increase my penis size?
me: or just drop a back door bot on my HD
them: just watch the fucking clip
me: you are not getting any fucking points talking to me like that asswipe
them: we know each other from pimpwar.com
them: and maybe fantasy football
me: i do not play fantasy football but i do play pimpwar
me: you masshole?
them: no he is a dick
me: now see you almost had me and then you dropped the dick word
them: lol
I copy and paste the link
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vuBo4E77ZXo&feature=related
me: This is what i have been preaching about in sermons and blogs http://cwtstraydog.blogspot.com/ and http://revjohnsleestaxx.blogspot.com/ and http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=49655310
Them: i have 30 people watching the clip and you are the only person talking to me.
me: they are sheep and they are not watching the clip. they are lieing to you they are all lying to you.
them: you really a priest?
me: yes i am an ordained minister so i am a preacher or reverend
them: i have a question
me: i have to do my fucking taxes
them: just go to this link and cue to 8:25 in the movie and watch for 15 minutes
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/
me: wtf??
them: just go there
I go there and the premise is that all religion is false and all religions tell the very same story, 12 dispiles born on the 25th of December and was killed and came back to life.
me: the video locked up at 10 minutes what did you want to know
them: is it true?
me: what?
them: the video part about religion
me: no they pencil whipped some data and stretched some false hoods and then they took much more out of context. if you are worried about this propaganda then you should sit down down with your clergy
them: i am roman catholic
me: you are fucked
me: they freak when you ask questions but they have become more progressive and will talk to you about these things.
them: thanks
me: np
In my neighborhood #13 By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
In my neighborhood #13
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Lars Ulrich from Metallica wants to get access to my house. He and the Scientologist lawyers expect full access anytime, anywhere to be sure that my house is not a copy of Lars Ulrich's.
The neighborhood was two developers with 3 models each and each model had three elevations and Lars Ulrich seems to think that just because I have a house that I have a copy of his house and he wants to be sure that I some how do not enjoy home ownership as much as him. Like he some how invented home ownership. The whiny bitch.
So here they are at my door demanding entrance and waving reams of paper saying things like due ownership and proper channel purchasing with accountability and proper book keeping.
I know nothing of this I know that the lord speaks to me from time to time and today he is yelling at me to beat this pussy musician into the ground.
God said that I should beat the weapons of Satan down and the lawyers are the worst tools of Satan as they have perverted the common laws of man into the yokes and bridles of all mankind.
The lord says that this bastard fucks kittens and goats and thinks that he can sue the right hand of god with impudence.
All of a sudden I was overwhelmed by the presence of the Holy Spirit and the good lord spoke in my ear and my heart and he said "set this mother fucker lawyer on fire."
I pulled out a book of matches and began to flick lighted matches at the fat fuck with the papers and he cried and whipped out his cell phone like it was a six shooter and began to babble lawyer tongues into the phone.
Then next thing to happen was both strange and funny, the lawyer on the phone, squinted his face and you heard swappp wapp wapp like that of thin lumber slapping and then there was the stench of poo.
Lars Ulrich looked at his lawyers and they all had shit their pants. The good lord hand touched them all. AH HA!
They, the lawyers, left real fast and there was Lars Ulrich just standing there with his entourage of homosexual groupies (not that there is anything wrong with that) and bi-sexual (not that there is anything wrong with that) roadies, demanding still to be let into my house. I thought they were going to charge when Joe strummer pulled up in his Escalade with 30" spinner rims. Affixed to the purple paint job was the magnetic "neighborhood watch" sign with the stupid eye ball logo.
"What seems to be the trouble here preacher" Joe said as he stepped out of his car.
Well Joe these guys....
"We have every right to ensure that our property is not copied", Lars Ulrich interrupted, "And to be sure, we think that we are due compensation for each and every copy."
“Well”, Joe started, “that would be right if your house looked like the good preacher's and also if you were sure that copies were being made of copies because don't copies have to be made from originals at some point?"
Lars Ulrich started to talk, but Joe cut him off, “You do not even live here and you do not even know if John here likes your tastes in furniture, because looking at your entourage I can tell you that John does not care to have Homosexuals and Bisexuals on his front yard, (not that there is anything wrong with that), let alone tracking cooties and poser heavy metal vibes through out his house.”
“Why don't you just take your pussy, fan hating, fat ass, on out of here before I start to beat you down. Because when the preacher beats you he is saving your soul, but when I beat you, well you are just getting beat. Now git!”
Lars Ulrich and the 12 man posse walked back to their cars and drove off.
Wendy went back into the house disappointed.
Henry came out and asked “Hey man what is going on?”
“Henry you are always late and a dollar short.”
“No need to pick on my height Joe, you are not much taller than me.”
“Yeah uh ok Henry whateva.” Joe said making the ‘What ever’ hand sign.
“John you just give me a call anytime that piece of flaming metal poser shows up ok?”
“Yeah Joe no problem thanks for the help.”
Joe jumped into the escalade and Henry began preaching about the environment and carbon emissions and foreign oil dependence when Joe’s escalade roared to life and lurched forward towards Henry’s yard and stopped short of the curb.
Henry held up a hand like he could part the sea or something and then Joe goosed it a second time the car jumped the curb Henry screamed and ran away.
Joe gunned the monstrous engine and the back wheels began to chew up yard exposing the brown dirt under the manicured lawn.
Joe cut the wheel to the right and back wheels began to break loose and slid as well as cut into the grass.
Joe was able to cut 2 360ยบ circles into Henry’s lawn before pulling off of the drive way.
Henry just dropped to his knees and cried, weeping like a girl about the damage done to the earth worm habitat and the cinch bugs environment and bla bla bla.
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Lars Ulrich from Metallica wants to get access to my house. He and the Scientologist lawyers expect full access anytime, anywhere to be sure that my house is not a copy of Lars Ulrich's.
The neighborhood was two developers with 3 models each and each model had three elevations and Lars Ulrich seems to think that just because I have a house that I have a copy of his house and he wants to be sure that I some how do not enjoy home ownership as much as him. Like he some how invented home ownership. The whiny bitch.
So here they are at my door demanding entrance and waving reams of paper saying things like due ownership and proper channel purchasing with accountability and proper book keeping.
I know nothing of this I know that the lord speaks to me from time to time and today he is yelling at me to beat this pussy musician into the ground.
God said that I should beat the weapons of Satan down and the lawyers are the worst tools of Satan as they have perverted the common laws of man into the yokes and bridles of all mankind.
The lord says that this bastard fucks kittens and goats and thinks that he can sue the right hand of god with impudence.
All of a sudden I was overwhelmed by the presence of the Holy Spirit and the good lord spoke in my ear and my heart and he said "set this mother fucker lawyer on fire."
I pulled out a book of matches and began to flick lighted matches at the fat fuck with the papers and he cried and whipped out his cell phone like it was a six shooter and began to babble lawyer tongues into the phone.
Then next thing to happen was both strange and funny, the lawyer on the phone, squinted his face and you heard swappp wapp wapp like that of thin lumber slapping and then there was the stench of poo.
Lars Ulrich looked at his lawyers and they all had shit their pants. The good lord hand touched them all. AH HA!
They, the lawyers, left real fast and there was Lars Ulrich just standing there with his entourage of homosexual groupies (not that there is anything wrong with that) and bi-sexual (not that there is anything wrong with that) roadies, demanding still to be let into my house. I thought they were going to charge when Joe strummer pulled up in his Escalade with 30" spinner rims. Affixed to the purple paint job was the magnetic "neighborhood watch" sign with the stupid eye ball logo.
"What seems to be the trouble here preacher" Joe said as he stepped out of his car.
Well Joe these guys....
"We have every right to ensure that our property is not copied", Lars Ulrich interrupted, "And to be sure, we think that we are due compensation for each and every copy."
“Well”, Joe started, “that would be right if your house looked like the good preacher's and also if you were sure that copies were being made of copies because don't copies have to be made from originals at some point?"
Lars Ulrich started to talk, but Joe cut him off, “You do not even live here and you do not even know if John here likes your tastes in furniture, because looking at your entourage I can tell you that John does not care to have Homosexuals and Bisexuals on his front yard, (not that there is anything wrong with that), let alone tracking cooties and poser heavy metal vibes through out his house.”
“Why don't you just take your pussy, fan hating, fat ass, on out of here before I start to beat you down. Because when the preacher beats you he is saving your soul, but when I beat you, well you are just getting beat. Now git!”
Lars Ulrich and the 12 man posse walked back to their cars and drove off.
Wendy went back into the house disappointed.
Henry came out and asked “Hey man what is going on?”
“Henry you are always late and a dollar short.”
“No need to pick on my height Joe, you are not much taller than me.”
“Yeah uh ok Henry whateva.” Joe said making the ‘What ever’ hand sign.
“John you just give me a call anytime that piece of flaming metal poser shows up ok?”
“Yeah Joe no problem thanks for the help.”
Joe jumped into the escalade and Henry began preaching about the environment and carbon emissions and foreign oil dependence when Joe’s escalade roared to life and lurched forward towards Henry’s yard and stopped short of the curb.
Henry held up a hand like he could part the sea or something and then Joe goosed it a second time the car jumped the curb Henry screamed and ran away.
Joe gunned the monstrous engine and the back wheels began to chew up yard exposing the brown dirt under the manicured lawn.
Joe cut the wheel to the right and back wheels began to break loose and slid as well as cut into the grass.
Joe was able to cut 2 360ยบ circles into Henry’s lawn before pulling off of the drive way.
Henry just dropped to his knees and cried, weeping like a girl about the damage done to the earth worm habitat and the cinch bugs environment and bla bla bla.
| Currently reading Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007 | | Also reading With A Mouthful Of Razorblades By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 6 February, 2007 |
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