Every once in while I wake up forget where I am think "Oh what a beautiful day.
Gee today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am going to make something of it!
“Yeah! Wahoo. Good morning Mr. blue bird! What a great day!
And then I am sent a video that I actually watch and I think yep I am back on planet earth alright.
Because there can be no other place in the god forsaken universe that this shit can happen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGcAzX9E3qU
This tough guy better be sucking dick in prison.
I want to go to prison just to beat on this fuckers head.
I want to put this fucker in my garage and beat him daily.
Pull his fucking teeth out one at a time.
Pull his nails out after I put paper cuts on his finger webs.
This mother fuck should be fed to dogs.
What to do with Vick's dogs?? Use them as teaching instruments.
If this fucker can live for 7 days with these dogs retrained to eat him then,
Yeah he can have his 37 years sucking dick in prison.
How can I implore upon anybody the hate I feel right now? There is no know measurement known to the human race
I am so full of hate I think I may have a stroke. I am a crucible of hate and anger.
This piece of shit stink has no right to be allowed on the same planetary surface as me.
I would suspend this fucker by his ankles and whip his skin until he was raw.
I would then cover his body with sugar and let the fire ants have their way him.
This is too close to home for me.
I need a day off and some serious medications to forget this video.
Now why do I need the medications?
He is the one with the problem. Why is he still alive??
Oh god in heaven here the voice of your humble servant John Sleestaxx.
Why is this man alive oh lord?
I know you can not have a lesson for me here.
Why do I need a reminder of these horrors lord? Do I not deserve a night without the
Nightmares.
Yes I have nightmares.
I have zombie nightmares. About 5-6 a month.
I have people I know from the past chasing me and my family
And I am always trying to protect my family from the zombies
And I wake up in real sweats seriously dripping in water.
Two quarts of water is what is needed to quench the thirst. And for days I can't shake the
Feeling of loss, the feeling of dread every night.
The fear that I will not escape these nightmares is distracting and gets in my waking way
The next day. Then the feelings dissipate and I begin to get normal and then POW! BIFF!
WHAM! I get blind sided by some person I have known in the past, who is undead and wants to......
What are they trying to do to my family and me??
Maybe they are trying to get just me?
Maybe I have guilt.....LOL.... for past actions and the past is what I am trying
To get away from and I fear that I can not escape my past.
Hell I can believe most of this but this does not sound like it is fixable.
I would rather have the feelings everyday then to have them go away and come back.
Like every Sunday have the zombie dream get geared and ready for the week and then taper off for the weekend
Ah fucket this is my hell and I have made it and I have to live with it.
But the fucker seriously needs a 3 times daily ass whooping.
No 4 times daily, let us not forget the fourth meal. Crunchy, squishy, howling in pain, and dripping in his own blood, vomit, and shit.
FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck fuck fuck
Damn him and the fucking video
I would have been so much better not having seen this travesty.
Sleestaxx
Good gift Ideas are always cherished
Some sage advice for all the players out there who have a special lady.
Check out this video: SNL Digital Short A Special Christmas Box
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Check out this video: SNL Digital Short A Special Christmas Box
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A couple games last night
You know when I umpire I looked like an asshole. I do not mean to look like an asshole. But there you go I am an asshole on the field that is just because if look like the nice guy I am the coaches all get outta hand real quick.
In my plate meeting I finish with;
"If there is a play on the field and you want to talk about the play, let the play finish wait for the call, ask for time, wait for time to be granted, approach the official that made the call and we can have a positive discussion. I expect sportsmanship from both sides. Any questions"
We started with some jokes about some other umpires being bad and that they maybe friends of mine and I said since I becomes an umpire I have no friends. Do not feel bad for me though this is good. I save allot of money on alcohol and food when I have people over for a party.
I told them I was alone on the field and that I would be making all the calls tonight. They said that was ok.
I said well because we all have no choice in the matter (I am an asshole).
Game is good second batter up makes a close double into a close triple causing me to run the field.
I look good I am in position at all times.
Boy tryst to steal second, good idea with on umpire, the catcher gets the ball there first and the runner slides into the tag. The glove with the ball is under the knees of the runner.
I call "show me the ball" the short stop pulls the glove out and the ball flees outta his mitt. "Safe"
The usual chirping about the balls and strikes actually the balls the strikes were quite.
At the bottom of the 4th the batter chips the ball into the ground in front of the plate.
It is now like a bunt and barely rolls up the third base side with a loose runner on third.
The ball spins on the line -ON THE LINE- a 2 and half inch ball is spinning like a top on a 2 inch line. Catcher and pitcher hover. Ball stops and they look at me. My right arm shoots out pitcher picks the ball up looks back and throws to the base but the batter is on base by 3 steps. Runner on third comes in on the throw to first and scores.
Coach calls time.
I expect a talk about the line.
He says "the ball came off the batters toe when he was in the box"
"No it did not"
"Uh YES it did" like duh big red truck tone.
"No it did not"
"Yes it did"
"No coach the call is mine not yours the ball did not touch the batter"
"Yes it did"
"I did not see contact therefore contact did not occur"
"Yes it did”
"You know what this conversation is over"
"You said we would have a positive conversation"
"And the conversation was positive until you said I was wrong"
"I never raised my voice"
"Neither have I yet"
"Now again this conversation is over and this is your warning."
"My warning there was contact and ..."
"Now coach I have stated that this conversation is over AND I have given you your warning
This is your second and last."
He walks away and mutters.
What should have occurred was "coach what the hell you want me to do? Appeal? Come on I 1 umpire doing 1 man mechanics and you want to try and bust my balls on a bullshit call like that fuck you! And tell that loud mouth fucking mom to shut the hell up. She can not see the fucking plate from there so can not tell little Donny that the pitch was a strike. Fuck off and here let me help you to the dugout with a swift kick to the ass."
I remember a time when I liked the game of baseball
The smell of wet grass, the throwing the ball with my son, the "anything can happen" feeling, the thought of how happy and proud my son is when he completes a well played game. Man the great life lessons he is learning.
I was probably the only parent that rooted for the team until the umpire called ball game.
I remember coaching and I remember the umpires and I never argued with the umpires. I knew they were not there to get me but to get the game right. Today coaches watch the sports highlights and think that the umpires are there to abuse. The kids learn that the umpires are blind, stupid, they suck and they are worthless. They could not make a call to save their lives, and the team must not only beat the other team but they must beat the umpires too.
Man these fucking parents and coaches are way the fuck outta control.
FUCK YOU!
The second game was good until a coach asked for time and then asked about my strike zone. I told him that the strike zone is not up for discussion, but are they outside?
You know what coach I will give you a free one. They are outside just as I have motioned through out the game.
But...
No coach a free one does not mean that you can ask another question.
He moves his catcher and wow strike. the kid already has a smoking fast ball and the other team is basically a rec team he could finish the game with 9 pitch innings and we could go home early but know you and that loudmouth bitchy mom gotta play like it is the world fucking series.
BLA BLA BLA BLA
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
In my plate meeting I finish with;
"If there is a play on the field and you want to talk about the play, let the play finish wait for the call, ask for time, wait for time to be granted, approach the official that made the call and we can have a positive discussion. I expect sportsmanship from both sides. Any questions"
We started with some jokes about some other umpires being bad and that they maybe friends of mine and I said since I becomes an umpire I have no friends. Do not feel bad for me though this is good. I save allot of money on alcohol and food when I have people over for a party.
I told them I was alone on the field and that I would be making all the calls tonight. They said that was ok.
I said well because we all have no choice in the matter (I am an asshole).
Game is good second batter up makes a close double into a close triple causing me to run the field.
I look good I am in position at all times.
Boy tryst to steal second, good idea with on umpire, the catcher gets the ball there first and the runner slides into the tag. The glove with the ball is under the knees of the runner.
I call "show me the ball" the short stop pulls the glove out and the ball flees outta his mitt. "Safe"
The usual chirping about the balls and strikes actually the balls the strikes were quite.
At the bottom of the 4th the batter chips the ball into the ground in front of the plate.
It is now like a bunt and barely rolls up the third base side with a loose runner on third.
The ball spins on the line -ON THE LINE- a 2 and half inch ball is spinning like a top on a 2 inch line. Catcher and pitcher hover. Ball stops and they look at me. My right arm shoots out pitcher picks the ball up looks back and throws to the base but the batter is on base by 3 steps. Runner on third comes in on the throw to first and scores.
Coach calls time.
I expect a talk about the line.
He says "the ball came off the batters toe when he was in the box"
"No it did not"
"Uh YES it did" like duh big red truck tone.
"No it did not"
"Yes it did"
"No coach the call is mine not yours the ball did not touch the batter"
"Yes it did"
"I did not see contact therefore contact did not occur"
"Yes it did”
"You know what this conversation is over"
"You said we would have a positive conversation"
"And the conversation was positive until you said I was wrong"
"I never raised my voice"
"Neither have I yet"
"Now again this conversation is over and this is your warning."
"My warning there was contact and ..."
"Now coach I have stated that this conversation is over AND I have given you your warning
This is your second and last."
He walks away and mutters.
What should have occurred was "coach what the hell you want me to do? Appeal? Come on I 1 umpire doing 1 man mechanics and you want to try and bust my balls on a bullshit call like that fuck you! And tell that loud mouth fucking mom to shut the hell up. She can not see the fucking plate from there so can not tell little Donny that the pitch was a strike. Fuck off and here let me help you to the dugout with a swift kick to the ass."
I remember a time when I liked the game of baseball
The smell of wet grass, the throwing the ball with my son, the "anything can happen" feeling, the thought of how happy and proud my son is when he completes a well played game. Man the great life lessons he is learning.
I was probably the only parent that rooted for the team until the umpire called ball game.
I remember coaching and I remember the umpires and I never argued with the umpires. I knew they were not there to get me but to get the game right. Today coaches watch the sports highlights and think that the umpires are there to abuse. The kids learn that the umpires are blind, stupid, they suck and they are worthless. They could not make a call to save their lives, and the team must not only beat the other team but they must beat the umpires too.
Man these fucking parents and coaches are way the fuck outta control.
FUCK YOU!
The second game was good until a coach asked for time and then asked about my strike zone. I told him that the strike zone is not up for discussion, but are they outside?
You know what coach I will give you a free one. They are outside just as I have motioned through out the game.
But...
No coach a free one does not mean that you can ask another question.
He moves his catcher and wow strike. the kid already has a smoking fast ball and the other team is basically a rec team he could finish the game with 9 pitch innings and we could go home early but know you and that loudmouth bitchy mom gotta play like it is the world fucking series.
BLA BLA BLA BLA
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
stupid quizes
Honestly i have taken 2 now 4 internet quizes the first one is because i liked the retrun of the living dead horror movie. I know it was a bad B movie and it was campy and bla bla bla fuck you.
I liked it.
Which Return of the Living Dead Character Are You???
And then this thing was on the choice list two and well hell i am here so what the fuck!
What kind of Goth would you be?
You're a Denial Goth! You are so not Goth. In fact you're Post-Punk/Darkwave/Whatever lesser-known synonym for goth is popular this week. Give it up, it's obvious you're a Goth.
Take this quiz!
Quizilla |
Join
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
I am an old punk. I was one of the first real hardcores in my town. We would scare little old ladies at stop signs and women woudl clutch their kids and purses in the mall.
I eventually morphed into death rock and my friends did too. they call it grunge. there was some goth to it but not enough to say i was goth. well there were the animal bones and chicken feet strung with blessed rosery beads. but no i was not goth.
I liked it.
Which Return of the Living Dead Character Are You???
And then this thing was on the choice list two and well hell i am here so what the fuck!
What kind of Goth would you be?
You're a Denial Goth! You are so not Goth. In fact you're Post-Punk/Darkwave/Whatever lesser-known synonym for goth is popular this week. Give it up, it's obvious you're a Goth.
Take this quiz!
Quizilla |
Join
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
I am an old punk. I was one of the first real hardcores in my town. We would scare little old ladies at stop signs and women woudl clutch their kids and purses in the mall.
I eventually morphed into death rock and my friends did too. they call it grunge. there was some goth to it but not enough to say i was goth. well there were the animal bones and chicken feet strung with blessed rosery beads. but no i was not goth.
Reality For The Win
The other day I wrote this;
This guy got everything was looking for. Yes Virginia there is a Santa.
He wanted to raise awareness. He wanted to create a ruckus. He wanted to make a freaking statement and he did all of that and now he is famous for it like abbey Hoffman and Patty Hearst. He forever will be the epitome of free thinkers
About the don’t taser me bro video that has become a virus
http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2007/09/dont-tase-me-br.html
And this fella freaks and starts talking about love and universe and koolaid
"If a person enjoys this, they need to check themselves in for a mental check-up.
They would obviously have some serious issues.
They would have to be considered a danger to themselves and society in general.
Necessary or not - not talking about tasering - talking about enjoyment of it.
Would have to be pretty sick
I read your blog on umpiring - it was awesome - is this the same person writing this?
Worried about teaching respect?
Huh..."
Then he makes the kool aid comment about umpiring and questioning my ability to umpire a game.
Teaching respect??? No shoving the lesson of respect down the throats of grown people who can not behave for 1 hour and 40 minutes is more like it.
So I think hey maybe this whinny tree huggin fur kissin dirt munchin druid has me confused with someone else and well I am all about fair play so to be sure his umpire hero is not maligned because he can't pay attention to which porn window is open I message him.
I ask him which umpire blog he is speaking about.
Yeah its mine but I can not think of a single kool aid moment in anything I speak about umpiring.
“Umpire in the blog on myspace!
Yes that is me. And there is nothing wrong if you look at the comments and see the point. "
And more love and universe and hug a tree shit later
"I thought what you said as an umpire was great. About the respect. About living by the rules going for one as well as the other. Talking about acceptance here... common ground... being a grown up in a grown-up's body...
Troubles me that the same person who wrote this could be so calloused to this kid getting tased.
Just hearing his voice, whether he's faking it or not, at the end, crying out, disturbs my soul. Even though I feel like he's a whiny baby. It’s still disturbing, and I hate it.
We can't have one set of rules for us and another for everyone else. Just like your buddy in the dug-out. We can't have our feet on both sides of the fence. We may be deceived into thinking it is possible, but I assure you that it isn't.
Be aware: God offers a choice:
"Choose life, or choose death."
Then He offers a little hint... "Choose life"
He who has ears to hear - let him hear - I will trouble you no further.
God Bless you brother – Name withheld because it is my soap box."
And I reply
"Do not be mistaken I have no friends in the dugout. No I never wrote any of that about being an umpire.
Umpiring is great in that I can be in control. And it is stressful and I love stressful situations they make you feel alive.
The guy is asking for what he got. Plain and simple.
I am sorry that life has been so good to you that you can think that everything is fair. Read my blog about evil among us and another sandwich.
You are too soft for me"
I will wipe them out and beat them to death; the can not get up; they will fall at my feet
Samuel 22:39
Regards
Rev. John Sleestaxx
And then this is where the funny stuff starts.
He try’s to show how tough he is
You know NOTHING about me my friend (wait I never invited him to be a friend)
NOTHING hah
Try me
Try me
Soft?
Don’t kid yourself
Nor am I so afraid that I hide behind a cartoon picture and use the name of the biggest coward out there
The biggest liar out there
Why don't you grow up and be a man -
You’re 42 for God's sake
Fucking whiney little babies. You know if the sound of someone being tasered makes you ill then you are too soft. Your sensibilities are mush! You think that life is fair.
You think that the cops should not be aloud to yell. And you think that children should not be spanked.
Well "buddy" where was your thinking when my step father was abusing me? Where was your perfect fair world when I finally ran away and the next grownup I met did the same thing to me? And how about when I left that nut job and ended up in San Francisco, The hippie nirvana. And there some other nut job thinks that I should get paid for the abuse huh??
Yeah you know what fuck you and your perfect fucking world.
My world is the real world, in my world people get hurt for no reason, and people get hurt when they do the wrong thing, people die for no reason, and wives nearly die over a fucking common cold. You rack up bills you can not pay just to live and then you fucking work forever. In my world 8 year old boys are taught things that would make pussies like you vomit. Fuck you and your sensibilities and your “disturbed to the soul shit” I have been through the fires, I have lived in a hell, I have crawled clawed and fought my way out of a hell and you want to tell me about fair and respect and grownups. LOL yeah uh oh fucking kay sure tell me another faerie tell uncle whiner. Yeah fucking right!
Eat a pile of shit and maggots and go for rides with traveling sales men. Let them park their rented car in a alley or parking lot and tell you about their son your age and how proud of them they are. Let them talk about how important they are and how this car is nothing like the one they have home.
They will bla bla bla about everything about themselves but never ask why is a twelve year old expected to….
Then there are the freaks that lose control of their anger and get angry at you for doing what they asked in the first place.
Are these twisted fuckers in you world brother?? Huh?? Are they?? I bet you had no idea that this fucking twisted shit happens at all in this wonderful country.
Your world is great and so wonderful. And the sun always shines and there is never a dead body on the side of the fucking road in your fucking world.
[Showing my middle finger at you] Your world of unicorns and elves and fairies has been deforested and paved over so that my world can put in a fucking Wal-Mart and a race track.
Have a sandwich and such the fuck up.
Reality For The win
This guy got everything was looking for. Yes Virginia there is a Santa.
He wanted to raise awareness. He wanted to create a ruckus. He wanted to make a freaking statement and he did all of that and now he is famous for it like abbey Hoffman and Patty Hearst. He forever will be the epitome of free thinkers
About the don’t taser me bro video that has become a virus
http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2007/09/dont-tase-me-br.html
And this fella freaks and starts talking about love and universe and koolaid
"If a person enjoys this, they need to check themselves in for a mental check-up.
They would obviously have some serious issues.
They would have to be considered a danger to themselves and society in general.
Necessary or not - not talking about tasering - talking about enjoyment of it.
Would have to be pretty sick
I read your blog on umpiring - it was awesome - is this the same person writing this?
Worried about teaching respect?
Huh..."
Then he makes the kool aid comment about umpiring and questioning my ability to umpire a game.
Teaching respect??? No shoving the lesson of respect down the throats of grown people who can not behave for 1 hour and 40 minutes is more like it.
So I think hey maybe this whinny tree huggin fur kissin dirt munchin druid has me confused with someone else and well I am all about fair play so to be sure his umpire hero is not maligned because he can't pay attention to which porn window is open I message him.
I ask him which umpire blog he is speaking about.
Yeah its mine but I can not think of a single kool aid moment in anything I speak about umpiring.
“Umpire in the blog on myspace!
Yes that is me. And there is nothing wrong if you look at the comments and see the point. "
And more love and universe and hug a tree shit later
"I thought what you said as an umpire was great. About the respect. About living by the rules going for one as well as the other. Talking about acceptance here... common ground... being a grown up in a grown-up's body...
Troubles me that the same person who wrote this could be so calloused to this kid getting tased.
Just hearing his voice, whether he's faking it or not, at the end, crying out, disturbs my soul. Even though I feel like he's a whiny baby. It’s still disturbing, and I hate it.
We can't have one set of rules for us and another for everyone else. Just like your buddy in the dug-out. We can't have our feet on both sides of the fence. We may be deceived into thinking it is possible, but I assure you that it isn't.
Be aware: God offers a choice:
"Choose life, or choose death."
Then He offers a little hint... "Choose life"
He who has ears to hear - let him hear - I will trouble you no further.
God Bless you brother – Name withheld because it is my soap box."
And I reply
"Do not be mistaken I have no friends in the dugout. No I never wrote any of that about being an umpire.
Umpiring is great in that I can be in control. And it is stressful and I love stressful situations they make you feel alive.
The guy is asking for what he got. Plain and simple.
I am sorry that life has been so good to you that you can think that everything is fair. Read my blog about evil among us and another sandwich.
You are too soft for me"
I will wipe them out and beat them to death; the can not get up; they will fall at my feet
Samuel 22:39
Regards
Rev. John Sleestaxx
And then this is where the funny stuff starts.
He try’s to show how tough he is
You know NOTHING about me my friend (wait I never invited him to be a friend)
NOTHING hah
Try me
Try me
Soft?
Don’t kid yourself
Nor am I so afraid that I hide behind a cartoon picture and use the name of the biggest coward out there
The biggest liar out there
Why don't you grow up and be a man -
You’re 42 for God's sake
Fucking whiney little babies. You know if the sound of someone being tasered makes you ill then you are too soft. Your sensibilities are mush! You think that life is fair.
You think that the cops should not be aloud to yell. And you think that children should not be spanked.
Well "buddy" where was your thinking when my step father was abusing me? Where was your perfect fair world when I finally ran away and the next grownup I met did the same thing to me? And how about when I left that nut job and ended up in San Francisco, The hippie nirvana. And there some other nut job thinks that I should get paid for the abuse huh??
Yeah you know what fuck you and your perfect fucking world.
My world is the real world, in my world people get hurt for no reason, and people get hurt when they do the wrong thing, people die for no reason, and wives nearly die over a fucking common cold. You rack up bills you can not pay just to live and then you fucking work forever. In my world 8 year old boys are taught things that would make pussies like you vomit. Fuck you and your sensibilities and your “disturbed to the soul shit” I have been through the fires, I have lived in a hell, I have crawled clawed and fought my way out of a hell and you want to tell me about fair and respect and grownups. LOL yeah uh oh fucking kay sure tell me another faerie tell uncle whiner. Yeah fucking right!
Eat a pile of shit and maggots and go for rides with traveling sales men. Let them park their rented car in a alley or parking lot and tell you about their son your age and how proud of them they are. Let them talk about how important they are and how this car is nothing like the one they have home.
They will bla bla bla about everything about themselves but never ask why is a twelve year old expected to….
Then there are the freaks that lose control of their anger and get angry at you for doing what they asked in the first place.
Are these twisted fuckers in you world brother?? Huh?? Are they?? I bet you had no idea that this fucking twisted shit happens at all in this wonderful country.
Your world is great and so wonderful. And the sun always shines and there is never a dead body on the side of the fucking road in your fucking world.
[Showing my middle finger at you] Your world of unicorns and elves and fairies has been deforested and paved over so that my world can put in a fucking Wal-Mart and a race track.
Have a sandwich and such the fuck up.
Reality For The win
Questions for the universe
Are farts suppose to be lumpy??
Manage time, save time, but we all die anyways??
Manage time, save time, but we all die anyways??
http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2007/09/dont-tase-me-br.html
This guy got everything was was looking for. Yes virginia there is a santa.
He wanted to raise awareness. He wanted to create a ruckus. he wanted to make a freaking statement and he did all of that and now he is famous for it like abby hoffman and patty hearst. he forever will be the epitomy of free thinkers
This guy got everything was was looking for. Yes virginia there is a santa.
He wanted to raise awareness. He wanted to create a ruckus. he wanted to make a freaking statement and he did all of that and now he is famous for it like abby hoffman and patty hearst. he forever will be the epitomy of free thinkers
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