In the darkest depths of myself I have a monster.

In the darkest depths of myself I have a monster. This monster is the alter ego of yours truly. When rage anger and hate well up into the back of my throat and choke out any resemblance of reason and logic. The monster comes to life.
This is the time the monster bursts into my gray matter ravaging and screaming about the injustices that have befallen me over the course of my terrible rotten life.
This beast puffs and bellows to the point that all real vision is obscured and eclipsed. I begin to operate on "the force" I can not really see any more but I can "feel" the world around me.
My senses go on crimson alert. I hear every child being abused, I hear every women being hit. My whole body is aflame and I very calmly beat the living shit out of people.
I say calmly because they can "tap" out. They can feign unconsciousness and they have the option to not get up.
For some reason they think they should keep moving, they feel that at some point they will get the upper hand. They are wrong. Christ they are wrong. And when I am done they will know they were wrong for weeks and weeks.
Just such an episode occurred yesterday at the mall.
I was shopping for a pair of umpire pants heather grey with a nice cuff. They were going to be my field pants for when I do the bases so I can look a bit sharper. The season is starting in a few weeks
I was heading to Sears and I was passing a gentleman and his wife, who was crying, he turned and grabbed her arm real hard like and yelled at her through clenched teeth.
As he turned back into a forward position I slammed into his shoulder.
“Oops sorry.” I said.
“Watch where you are going asshole!”
“Now listen here you fucking piece of shit, you fucking retard with a small dick I said I was sorry”
“What did you say?”
“I said that you were a retard, you had a small dick, and I said you were a piece of shit and that I was sorry.” The biggest smile on my face.
He swung, I ducked and came up with an upper cut to the solar plexus, just below the breast bone, I felt my fist embed into the abdomen and he lifted off his feet and then fell.
I said “Do not get up. I will have to defend myself.”
He got up and said I am going to beat your ass.
No you are not and I began to box his forehead, his nose and his left cheek.
I jabbed and crossed and jabbed some more. I would stop and step back. He would totter and then he would lunge at me.
And I would do this again.
On the second lunge he more like fell on me and I threw an arm into the crotch and the left over his shoulder and I picked him up and slammed him to the ground.
He stopped moving his chest heaving and his woman crying.
She dropped to his side, "Richard oh Richard are you ok?" then she looked at me and said "What is your problem? He did nothing to you"
“What did you miss the part where he swung at me?"
“So? You did not have to beat him up.”
“Hey lady he gave him every opportunity to step down.” Came from some guy behind me.
I looked and there was a considerable crowd gathering.
“Fuck it and fuck you bitch” and I turned to go.
The crowd looked at me and at first was not going to part but I made a motion like I was going to charge and they jumped, what a bunch of sheep.
You see I have a monster in me. I like this monster and I enjoy visiting with the monster now and again.
I enjoy the buzz I get from touching the emotions that feed it. Why?? I do not know. Some freaks like pain. Some freaks like to inflict pain. There are some that like to see food being destroyed by pretty feet. I knew a guy that liked to wax his whole body and wear women’s undergarments. I like to get very angry. I do not have to beat anyone. I can just get enraged and enjoy the hot flush that covers my body. The heat that burns in my chest. Hell maybe I am a freak too. But who cares. Not you! And not anyone else.
Hate, anger, and rage is my porn, what is yours??

Currently reading

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007

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