A job Interview That Goes Horribly Bad

I should have never quit smoking. Smoking was the only networking tool that is allowed to me in my position.

Let me give some background, I Perform reliability tests and studies on products in development. I talk to design engineers who have spent 6 months to a year developing a product. And they come see me with their prototype. I discuss with them their concerns and what they think are the weakest parts of their design. They leave and I place the unit into a chamber that will freeze the unit to -60ºC and then bake the unit to 70ºC and then after the unit has been frozen and baked I start vibrational stresses. I step the unit through random 3 axis vibration from 5gs to 60gs.

Needless to say when I am done I have destroyed this engineer's work in about 5 days. I have put the unit through hell that is way out of spec and something that will not ever be seen in real life. But I can tell the engineer what the weakest part of his design is and what the likely hood of his unit failing in the field.

Some hate me; some see the value add to the process. I have done this for 13 years and I would like a change.

I do not think many would give me a job in their group. My documented skill set is very narrow. So when a position opens up, I am seen as the guy with the hammer and they are looking for the guy with the ability to negotiate and influence.

What does smoking have to do with all of this??

I am getting to that.

In the smoking area I get to meet many people from many different business groups. Also many of them are from different levels of management. I am known to be the one to ask about viruses and spyware and hardware problems. I speak geek and I can speak geek to the non-geek.

I helped this director once, who was at a site that hosed his computer really bad. I walked him through some things and then he ended up just bringing his computer to my lab and I fixed it in like 2 hours. It was no big deal and I told him how it happened and how to avoid many attacks.

I quit smoking like a year ago. And I guess he had a laptop that someone had given his kid and the unit began cratering. He looked for me out there for like 3 months and when I did not show he thought I was rif'd. He asked about me the other day and someone told I had quit smoking and I was still in the lab. He came by as asked if I could fix this laptop. I said yeah sure no problem. When he brought it by he told me how he thought I was gone. I mentioned that I was finishing my BSM and would be out of the lab soon he asked if I was interviewing yet I said no.

Dave said that after the laptop is fixed he would take me to lunch for payment.

Knowing where this was going I said sure.

We meet at this restaurant and sat on the patio so he can smoke.

We are flirting with the position thing because if this was a real interview I would have to tell my supervisor. There would have to be a REQ already opened, bla bla bla.

So we are blah blah blahing about school, grades, subjects, hobbies, and I see this guy walking in the parking lot by my car. He stops at the tailgate and turns towards my truck. He walks up to the door pulls out a screwdriver and hammer jams the lock into the door.

Honest to God I am watching my car get broken into 30 feet away. How fucking bold are the thieves today?

I tell Dave to call the police. He asks why and I point to the guy now leaning into my car going through the glove box. I get up and hop the railing on the patio. I run smoothly over to my car and the thief is still head down, leaning in. [Edit: I fucking told you. The fuckers are all to get me]