Coffee drinking, soccer mom zombies

On my way to work I realized why my commute miles are added to the equation to calculate my life insurance policy. I am surrounded by morons, frufru coffee drinking, houty touty gas guzzling SUV driving soccer moms, and all of them are fucking idiots.
I know these people I drive on the road with them I may not recognize them but I know I have looked into their zombie faces before either as they pass or as they try to cut me off, the muther fuckers. Just because I make eye contact does not mean to take my place in my lane. Eye contact is not a secret commute signal that I want to slam on my brakes, so that you can make a 5 lane sweep across the freeway, to make that exit that you forgot to take. You know the one you take five fucken days a week but forgot this time because you were;
1.) Painting lipstick to that ugly slash of a penis receptacle opening under you nose.
2.) You were talking to your “down low” partners about the “poker night” this weekend.
3.) You were talking to the therapist about your mother and how she never loved you.
Hint: it is true that she did not love you because you were an asshole and you were inconsiderate of her feelings. You treated her like a table and you should fucking call her and apologize on a cell phone on a different freeway in a different state on your way over a fucking cliff you god damn piece of shit.
4.) Looking at the porn you have stashed on you iPOD.
5.) No other excuse other than the fact that you are a inconsiderate dick head and although you are surrounded by family now when you die you will be alone and there will be no-one to hold your old withering hand because anybody around you is just as selfish and just as much of a dick head as you.
When I honk at you do not look like you do not know why I am wavy my middle finger at you. Keep that look of “I just woke up and realized that I am behind the wheel of a weapon.” Mouth ‘I am sorry’ and ‘you have saved my life again [CWT]Straydog. Thank you.”
The middle finger is the [CWT] signal that I have acknowledged you, you exist, now get your god damn head on straight and get in the game.
Do not be a pussy and try to give it (the finger signal) back, that is not the correct response. The proper response is to get smart for the rest of the time that you and I are on the road together. The proper response is to wave admit that you lapsed back to your selfish childhood and now as an adult you are sorry and will try not to be such a fucking asshole any more.

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