ATL-OAK-SFO-DEN-CYS
Falcons @ Raiders to BAR @ SFO to BAR @ DEN
Airline personnel: "Sir have you been drinking?"
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "You just watched me walk out of the bar to here. What do you think I was doing?"
Airline personnel: "Sir I think that you may have had too much to drink"
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "Why do you say that?
Airline personnel: "well uh you look as though"
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "as though I hate to travel?"
Airline personnel: "no you ..."
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "listen did you just hear that great sss sound? Just let me on the plane to CYS and I will be a happy man."
Airline personnel: "but you may have had too much to drink."
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "Am I loud? Am I rude? Did I stumble out of the bar? How about?? Did I stagger up to the boarding counter? Do I appear to be a threat?"
Airline personnel: I can not let you on the plane if you have had too much to drink.
The Great Reverend Sleestaxx: "What are your qualifications to make that assessment? Are you a doctor? Are you a licensed officer of the law? Have you had too much school? I think you are either green or you decided that you did not like me and you want to harass me. Listen through this entire interaction I have not raised my voice and I have clearly made a logical argument with you. And the fact that you have not called security and you still have not said that I am drunk and I can not fly means you really do not believe yourself. Just let me on the plane so I can sleep and forget how miserably painful humanity is."
DEN to CYS then TAXI @ CYS to HOME. Hello BED
We need to be competitive
We need to be competitive and we need to make some changes
By Rev J. Sleestaxx
This was thought out as a video lampooning some CEO of some company but I was worried my CEO would think I am lampooning him, I wanted to keep my job and because of safety reasons I have to still maintain some anomitity (a couple more deaths to go.) so let us look at this like a cult talking about individual competition.
We need to get more competitive.
So my plan is to stream line our interests so we will lose weight.
We have lost 10% and that is great can you all feel the new found agility. I know that the process to lose weight created some hardship but the reward is a trimmer, fitter ready-for-competition us.
All though we still need to make some changes. We have been developing some relationships with outside people to help us be more competitive. And since our partners can make stuff and we are right handed we will cut off just our left hand. We can make things with just right hand and I know it can be difficult but we need to adapt to be competitive.
We have made it through the change and it has been great. I know I understand and I appreciate the work that is being done. But since we have we cut off the left hand we will now remove the left arm. The arm served its purpose but these are new faster exciting competitive times. But we are now a one handed community.
We can and do build with just one hand but our partners have two and they can build and make more efficiently than us leaving us to be mobile and able to focus more on being competitive. So we will remove our right hand and from past experience we know that the right arm is not used without the right hand so rather than go through the removal of the hand and then the removal of the arm we will leverage from past experience and remove the arm and hand at the same time.
Well done. Well done! We are now able to focus on being competitive and mobile. We can still think and talk, we can interface well AND be mobile.
Ok we have done much to be competitive, but the challenges ahead are great so we have reviewed our plan and found that there are areas that we do not fit. So, for us to fit in more areas, to be more competitive we have decided to cut off the feet. We will still be mobile and since it was decided to do both feet we will get ahead of the curve.
Good, good fantastic numbers and the move to cut off our feet has help us realize an area that has little competition so that means that the removal of our legs will put us in a better position competitively. We can open partnerships that are more competitive in the overly competitive area of mobility. We will still be able to think and communicate therefore we can still compete in other areas with the help of our alliances and partnerships. This may be difficult but I know we have the ability to persevere and overcome.
Fantastic I told you all this was a good decision. We are now in a whole new field and we are very competitive. I think you all know the next logical step.
It makes sense and it will off load the burden of thinking and communicating that we do and put that on to our partners leaving us to focus on our core we will be the only ones so there will be no competition which is the goal of any competition and that is to win.
By Rev J. Sleestaxx
This was thought out as a video lampooning some CEO of some company but I was worried my CEO would think I am lampooning him, I wanted to keep my job and because of safety reasons I have to still maintain some anomitity (a couple more deaths to go.) so let us look at this like a cult talking about individual competition.
We need to get more competitive.
So my plan is to stream line our interests so we will lose weight.
We have lost 10% and that is great can you all feel the new found agility. I know that the process to lose weight created some hardship but the reward is a trimmer, fitter ready-for-competition us.
All though we still need to make some changes. We have been developing some relationships with outside people to help us be more competitive. And since our partners can make stuff and we are right handed we will cut off just our left hand. We can make things with just right hand and I know it can be difficult but we need to adapt to be competitive.
We have made it through the change and it has been great. I know I understand and I appreciate the work that is being done. But since we have we cut off the left hand we will now remove the left arm. The arm served its purpose but these are new faster exciting competitive times. But we are now a one handed community.
We can and do build with just one hand but our partners have two and they can build and make more efficiently than us leaving us to be mobile and able to focus more on being competitive. So we will remove our right hand and from past experience we know that the right arm is not used without the right hand so rather than go through the removal of the hand and then the removal of the arm we will leverage from past experience and remove the arm and hand at the same time.
Well done. Well done! We are now able to focus on being competitive and mobile. We can still think and talk, we can interface well AND be mobile.
Ok we have done much to be competitive, but the challenges ahead are great so we have reviewed our plan and found that there are areas that we do not fit. So, for us to fit in more areas, to be more competitive we have decided to cut off the feet. We will still be mobile and since it was decided to do both feet we will get ahead of the curve.
Good, good fantastic numbers and the move to cut off our feet has help us realize an area that has little competition so that means that the removal of our legs will put us in a better position competitively. We can open partnerships that are more competitive in the overly competitive area of mobility. We will still be able to think and communicate therefore we can still compete in other areas with the help of our alliances and partnerships. This may be difficult but I know we have the ability to persevere and overcome.
Fantastic I told you all this was a good decision. We are now in a whole new field and we are very competitive. I think you all know the next logical step.
It makes sense and it will off load the burden of thinking and communicating that we do and put that on to our partners leaving us to focus on our core we will be the only ones so there will be no competition which is the goal of any competition and that is to win.
Tragic circumstances and tennis shoes
Tragic circumstances and tennis shoes
By Rev. John Sleestaxx
Little Yo Yan pat worked in the shadows and light of the little factory. Yo missed her family and wondered why they had sold her to these evil men that make her work long hours.
Her fingers hurt from the needle both from pinching the needle as it pasted through the white leather but also form the many pricks she endured because the light was so poor that early in the morning.
Every day it was the same thing. Rancid rice cakes for breakfast then to work. she was made to sleep and work in the same location so the only time she was able to really move I mean really move was that one time a month when she was allowed to shower and use a proper toilet.
The men would joke about how she smelled bad like rotten leather but they would not let her shower or clean herself properly after relieving herself in the bucket they brought to her twice a day.
They were not allowed to talk to one another. So they spent the days when there was enough light to see past their station just looking at each other and giving each other warning glances when the shop boss was coming down. At night some times the bosses would get to drinking and the girls could talk they would whisper their distress to each other and how they missed their families.
Some thought they were doing their families great honor by working at the factory making the shoes of Americans. That the money they brought to their families was enough to help the farm through the drought that had set upon their village.
Others felt trapped and doomed and they would tell each other that once the debt was paid they would be allowed to leave and join their families again. And they would find themselves strong men to marry and they would bare male children so they would have a strong back to work the farm and not a weak girl that would have to be sold to evil men.
Now and again a girl would try to run away because the factory was too terrible and the bosses too rough.
But the bosses always brought the girls back and the girls would beg for forgiveness and say they would never try to leave before their debt was paid. These girls would talk of the evil that was in the land. Of how men would force them selves into the women and then the men would laugh at the girl’s humiliation.
One girl Sho Yen Phuc said that while she was away she stopped in this village and she worked for food and shelter. And while in the village a car with Americans stopped and the Americans got out and took pictures. She tried to talk to the Americans but they did not understand her and their escort refused to translate. Called her crazy and disturbed told the Americans she was the village retard.
The Americans did not offer any assistance. They just took their pictures and talked of the poverty that had come to this providence and how terrible it was and how they were there to help by providing an industry to which everyone could get jobs and get paid money and bring up the standard of living. But they refused to offer assistance.
They then got in the car and drove off. Soon after though, one the bosses arrived. She said she was hiding in this old woman's house but she saw the old woman talking to the boss and the boss held out some money and the old woman took the money and pointed at the house where Sho was hiding. The boss and a couple of his helpers walked in with out taking off their shoes and grabbed her. They drug her out and they put her in the car. More villagers came out because she was screaming and crying. The boss began handing out money to all the villagers and then the boss and his men got in the car and they drove off. They stopped once to let her relieve herself but they would not let her have privacy and they watched her pee. Then they grabbed her and forced her back into the car and then they..... Sho trailed off into sobs crying into her hands, shoulder heaving and the dirt on her face staining her hands. She was going to have to wash her hands before touching the shoe leather tomorrow morning.
Sho said they told her that her debt was started over because they had to find her. Little Yo laid on her floor thinking, ‘poor Sho she had to start over.’ Little Yo was not going to run away ever. She was not going to start her debt over, ever! Her family’s debt was going to get paid and she was going to leave and never come back. Little Yo began to cry. She cried for Sho and she cried for herself. But mostly she cried for herself.
That night a radioactive praying mantis flitted into her work area and bit her ......................
No no no that was not what happened........
While she laid there crying a mantis demon flitted into her work area. The mantis was looking for a meal but the sobs of little Yo were too grand and too loud. And the quiet wailing caught the attention of the mantis demon.
Why do you cry little Yo?
Wha?? How do you know me?
I know many and I know you. I am Shen Shi the great mantis demon. Why do you cry? You have some to bring you food and a bucket to use as a toilet. Surely a queen needs not to cry.
Oh great Shen Shi, mantis demon I am no queen I am but a lowly farm girl sold into a shoe factory where I make shoes that cost Americans more than my family will ever see in a life time. It is terrible awful work and the needle pricks my fingertips and I bleed.
Oh then why do you stay?
Because my family needed the money and they sold me to these evil men. And she began to cry some more the sadness renewed.
What would I have to do to get you to stop being so sad.
What can you do insect lord? You are so small
Why I told you I am a demon and all demons have great powers. Tell me your wish and I shall grant it to prove I am great!
Oh Great Shen Shi I want to be out of the factory and my family to be rich so they never have to sell me to the factory again.
Then that is what you shall be, but, you must do me a favor too.
What does a mantis demon need from a poor little farm girl.
I want you to be my wife.
Oh great mantis demon why do you want me for a wife?
Because I have been watching you since you arrived and I have fallen in love.
You love me?
Yes I want to be married to you for all eternity
So I trade one prison for another?
I am a mantis demon Little Yo. Many girls in here would love to be my wife.
Yes I know that but what of my family and what of my dreams to marry a strong man and bare his children.
I am a great demon and although I can not give you any children I can provide you with a happy life, I can make sure that your family is always taken care of.
I am still very young mantis demon.
Yes this is true. I tell you what.. In 5 years I will take you as my wife. And you will have to come live with me in the magic world for all eternity.
Will I have to become a mantis also?
Of course not child you will be a human lady
A human lady with an insect husband.
There are many girls that would love to be the wife of a mantis demon.
So you have told me.
Let me think on this Shen Shi.
That is fine you have until dawn tomorrow
And at that the mantis demon moved to the left and turned into a whiff of smoke in the moon light.
Little Yo put her head down on the mat to sleep.
A cockroach scurried across the floor and stopped at the edge of her sleeping mat.
Little Yo do not marry the mantis demon. He is liar and a trickster.
Why cockroach what do you know of my matters?
I am king of the cockroaches and I have been watching you since you arrived and I have seen the mantis demon talking to the bosses many times.
What? Are you serious roach king.
Yes the mantis is evil as all demons are evil.
But what am I to do?
I do not want to be here forever making shoes.
Yes but to marry the mantis demon will be a mistake.
He just wants to marry a mortal woman so that he has more power in the mortal world.
Given enough power he can become human. And once the mantis is human there will be no end to the havoc and destruction he will bring to your world. Right now he can be stopped by just biting his head off but once human there will be only one way to stop him. His reign will be brutal and terrible to humans and insects alike.
And what way is that?
Just then a boss came by. He was drunk and he was looking to touch Yo as she was beginning to blossom into a young lady.
Yo tried to pretend she was asleep but the boss did not care. He started to knell down. Yo could smell the liquor on his breath and clothes. He smelled of cigarettes too.
The boss placed the right knee on the sleeping mat and then his left knee landed on the roach king and with a crunch the king was dead. The boss began to grope Yo. He touched her and she began to fight. And he hit her. And she cried and he told her to be quiet. And then he began to pull her shirt off. She whimpered and then she made her decision.
Oh great mantis demon I will marry you, I will marry and I will make you the happiest insect husband in all the world.
there was a great flash and she was no longer on the dingy dirty factory floor, she was no longer dirty and in rags she was in a bright sunny room covered with beautiful woven blankets and the fragrance of hot tea filled the air.
Little Yo stretched and rolled to one side and there was the mantis demon on her pillow.
Little Yo I have rescued you from the factory, I have ensured that you family will forever be prosperous and all I ask is that in 5 years you hold up your end of the bargain.
Yes mantis demon I will.
Yo got up and dressed and went out side and found she was on a hilltop over looking a great valley.
She could see that there were many farms and lush green forests as far as the eye could see.
Are you happy Yo? Said the mantis demon.
Yes yes but what shall I do for the next five years? Where is my family?
You are to remain here getting the education that a mantis demon wife must have. Your family has a farm in the valley. You can go see them every afternoon.
Now eat breakfast and meet your teacher.
Yo ate breakfast of breads and pastries and drank heartedly of the tea that was offered.
Soon she was full and she wanted to go back to sleep but a fat engorged tick crawled into the room.
Little Yo it is time for your training.
What training cold I possibly need to be the wife of a mantis demon?
Well now not even a full day out of the factory and Little Yo is already too good to learn something. She already knows everything, she knows what and when the mantis demon eats, she knows how to walk with her soon to be husband, and most important of all she knows her place in the scheme of the demon world and in the insect kingdom.
And the tick began to turn. Well that makes my job an easy one for the next five years.
No wait I am sorry I was very brash and rude. I shall never speak to my teacher like that again.
The tick stopped and with out turning said over his shoulder ‘and you will always do as I say without question?’
Yes master tick yes.
The tick turned and smiled. He took two steps and halted.
Why you are very beautiful I see what the mantis sees in you.
Little Yo blushed.
So today we will learn the proper way to greet a mantis.
And so the lessons went until 3 o'clock every day. And at 3:30 Yo would go down to the village to visit with her family. They never asked her about the factory.
They never talked about the fact she refused to wear shoes and they never ever spoke about the times before she had promised the mantis demon marriage.
One evening while in her garden she heard voices. She recognized the tick, and the mantis but the third voice she did not recognize. She crept to the garden wall and ever so slightly peeked over the wall into the garden of the mantis demon. The garden was unkempt and dark. The plants and flowers looked to be on the verge of dying. In the center was the tick, the mantis demon, and a wasp.
Oh great liege, wondrous wasp devil, said the mantis demon I think the plan is going quite well. The sacrifice of the roach king was what sealed the deal. She made her choice freely knowing the full consequences of her actions and she still choose to be my wife.
Yes said the tick she still made the decision to better herself and her family rather than to suffer to save the world. Silly that she refuses to wear shoes even though her choice was as selfish as the Americans that buy the shoes.
ZZZZZZZ said the wasp with a impatient gesture of the wings. Clearly the wasp devil had no love or patience for the tick. The roach king told her everything she needed to know?
Yes said the mantis demon except how to kill me once I am in human form.
Good said the wasp devil well then next week when you are married in the cherry orchard I will grant you the human form so that you may open the door to their world and we shall finally rule as we did so long ago.
Yo, not so little now, held her breath and backed away from the wall and went to her room. What had she done? They were right the choices she had made were for her betterment and her families. She knew that to marry the mantis demon would be dangerous to the rest of the world but she so wanted the drunken boss to stop touching her.
What can she do now? There is now way she can break the promise.
The last week went by in a blur.
she told her family of the marriage to be, they were happy to know that they would always be taken care of.
But mama and papa they will do terrible things to the world when he is in human form.
What do you care of strangers Yo they did not care for you as you made shoes, they did not care that you were fed the garbage of everyone else, they just wanted you to make shoes. Why care for them now?
No there has to be a way.
The night before the wedding Yo and the mantis demon ate dinner togerther.
Do you regret your decision to marry me Yo?
Why no mantis demon why do you ask. Have I not been happy and grateful for all that you have done for my family.
Yes you have but in the last week you seem to be thinking about something.
No I have been thinking about my life as the wife of a mantis demon and different it would have been if I had chosen to stay at the factory.
Yes laughed the mantis demon it would have different alright. Let me show you the difference. And the room went dark and then light and there was Yo with two children one about 5 and a newborn nursing. She beamed at the little one attached to her breast.
Why you look happy Yo.
Yes I do I wonder who my husband is.
And just then came in the drunken boss from the night she made her decision.
Is that my husband?
Yes said the mantis demon he forced you to have sex and then you got pregnant. His boss was mad because you could not sew anymore and made him marry you and he works now to pay your debt.
The child ran up to the man Daddy! And then little boy accidentally stepped on the man’s bare toes. The man came in kicked the 5 year old child and her child cried. Yo laughed at the little boy and told him to stop being so clumsy.
Yo cried and said she did not need to see anymore. and the dinning room came back into focus.
Yes I am glad I made my decision.
Good tomorrow we marry and things will be ever better.
In a cherry orchard she stood in the finest silks of a bride and a spider lord hung from a branch.
The mantis demon stood on her shoulder and her family just behind her.
The spider lord asked them if they knew the meaning of love and marriage and they both replied yes.
The spider lord made them promise to be faithful and they did.
He said "it is with great joy and pride that I proclaim you two to be man and wife"
Yo turned to her husband, he smiled the best smile a mantis demon can muster and she leaned over as if to kiss him. He leaned in and she bit his head off.
By Rev. John Sleestaxx
Little Yo Yan pat worked in the shadows and light of the little factory. Yo missed her family and wondered why they had sold her to these evil men that make her work long hours.
Her fingers hurt from the needle both from pinching the needle as it pasted through the white leather but also form the many pricks she endured because the light was so poor that early in the morning.
Every day it was the same thing. Rancid rice cakes for breakfast then to work. she was made to sleep and work in the same location so the only time she was able to really move I mean really move was that one time a month when she was allowed to shower and use a proper toilet.
The men would joke about how she smelled bad like rotten leather but they would not let her shower or clean herself properly after relieving herself in the bucket they brought to her twice a day.
They were not allowed to talk to one another. So they spent the days when there was enough light to see past their station just looking at each other and giving each other warning glances when the shop boss was coming down. At night some times the bosses would get to drinking and the girls could talk they would whisper their distress to each other and how they missed their families.
Some thought they were doing their families great honor by working at the factory making the shoes of Americans. That the money they brought to their families was enough to help the farm through the drought that had set upon their village.
Others felt trapped and doomed and they would tell each other that once the debt was paid they would be allowed to leave and join their families again. And they would find themselves strong men to marry and they would bare male children so they would have a strong back to work the farm and not a weak girl that would have to be sold to evil men.
Now and again a girl would try to run away because the factory was too terrible and the bosses too rough.
But the bosses always brought the girls back and the girls would beg for forgiveness and say they would never try to leave before their debt was paid. These girls would talk of the evil that was in the land. Of how men would force them selves into the women and then the men would laugh at the girl’s humiliation.
One girl Sho Yen Phuc said that while she was away she stopped in this village and she worked for food and shelter. And while in the village a car with Americans stopped and the Americans got out and took pictures. She tried to talk to the Americans but they did not understand her and their escort refused to translate. Called her crazy and disturbed told the Americans she was the village retard.
The Americans did not offer any assistance. They just took their pictures and talked of the poverty that had come to this providence and how terrible it was and how they were there to help by providing an industry to which everyone could get jobs and get paid money and bring up the standard of living. But they refused to offer assistance.
They then got in the car and drove off. Soon after though, one the bosses arrived. She said she was hiding in this old woman's house but she saw the old woman talking to the boss and the boss held out some money and the old woman took the money and pointed at the house where Sho was hiding. The boss and a couple of his helpers walked in with out taking off their shoes and grabbed her. They drug her out and they put her in the car. More villagers came out because she was screaming and crying. The boss began handing out money to all the villagers and then the boss and his men got in the car and they drove off. They stopped once to let her relieve herself but they would not let her have privacy and they watched her pee. Then they grabbed her and forced her back into the car and then they..... Sho trailed off into sobs crying into her hands, shoulder heaving and the dirt on her face staining her hands. She was going to have to wash her hands before touching the shoe leather tomorrow morning.
Sho said they told her that her debt was started over because they had to find her. Little Yo laid on her floor thinking, ‘poor Sho she had to start over.’ Little Yo was not going to run away ever. She was not going to start her debt over, ever! Her family’s debt was going to get paid and she was going to leave and never come back. Little Yo began to cry. She cried for Sho and she cried for herself. But mostly she cried for herself.
That night a radioactive praying mantis flitted into her work area and bit her ......................
No no no that was not what happened........
While she laid there crying a mantis demon flitted into her work area. The mantis was looking for a meal but the sobs of little Yo were too grand and too loud. And the quiet wailing caught the attention of the mantis demon.
Why do you cry little Yo?
Wha?? How do you know me?
I know many and I know you. I am Shen Shi the great mantis demon. Why do you cry? You have some to bring you food and a bucket to use as a toilet. Surely a queen needs not to cry.
Oh great Shen Shi, mantis demon I am no queen I am but a lowly farm girl sold into a shoe factory where I make shoes that cost Americans more than my family will ever see in a life time. It is terrible awful work and the needle pricks my fingertips and I bleed.
Oh then why do you stay?
Because my family needed the money and they sold me to these evil men. And she began to cry some more the sadness renewed.
What would I have to do to get you to stop being so sad.
What can you do insect lord? You are so small
Why I told you I am a demon and all demons have great powers. Tell me your wish and I shall grant it to prove I am great!
Oh Great Shen Shi I want to be out of the factory and my family to be rich so they never have to sell me to the factory again.
Then that is what you shall be, but, you must do me a favor too.
What does a mantis demon need from a poor little farm girl.
I want you to be my wife.
Oh great mantis demon why do you want me for a wife?
Because I have been watching you since you arrived and I have fallen in love.
You love me?
Yes I want to be married to you for all eternity
So I trade one prison for another?
I am a mantis demon Little Yo. Many girls in here would love to be my wife.
Yes I know that but what of my family and what of my dreams to marry a strong man and bare his children.
I am a great demon and although I can not give you any children I can provide you with a happy life, I can make sure that your family is always taken care of.
I am still very young mantis demon.
Yes this is true. I tell you what.. In 5 years I will take you as my wife. And you will have to come live with me in the magic world for all eternity.
Will I have to become a mantis also?
Of course not child you will be a human lady
A human lady with an insect husband.
There are many girls that would love to be the wife of a mantis demon.
So you have told me.
Let me think on this Shen Shi.
That is fine you have until dawn tomorrow
And at that the mantis demon moved to the left and turned into a whiff of smoke in the moon light.
Little Yo put her head down on the mat to sleep.
A cockroach scurried across the floor and stopped at the edge of her sleeping mat.
Little Yo do not marry the mantis demon. He is liar and a trickster.
Why cockroach what do you know of my matters?
I am king of the cockroaches and I have been watching you since you arrived and I have seen the mantis demon talking to the bosses many times.
What? Are you serious roach king.
Yes the mantis is evil as all demons are evil.
But what am I to do?
I do not want to be here forever making shoes.
Yes but to marry the mantis demon will be a mistake.
He just wants to marry a mortal woman so that he has more power in the mortal world.
Given enough power he can become human. And once the mantis is human there will be no end to the havoc and destruction he will bring to your world. Right now he can be stopped by just biting his head off but once human there will be only one way to stop him. His reign will be brutal and terrible to humans and insects alike.
And what way is that?
Just then a boss came by. He was drunk and he was looking to touch Yo as she was beginning to blossom into a young lady.
Yo tried to pretend she was asleep but the boss did not care. He started to knell down. Yo could smell the liquor on his breath and clothes. He smelled of cigarettes too.
The boss placed the right knee on the sleeping mat and then his left knee landed on the roach king and with a crunch the king was dead. The boss began to grope Yo. He touched her and she began to fight. And he hit her. And she cried and he told her to be quiet. And then he began to pull her shirt off. She whimpered and then she made her decision.
Oh great mantis demon I will marry you, I will marry and I will make you the happiest insect husband in all the world.
there was a great flash and she was no longer on the dingy dirty factory floor, she was no longer dirty and in rags she was in a bright sunny room covered with beautiful woven blankets and the fragrance of hot tea filled the air.
Little Yo stretched and rolled to one side and there was the mantis demon on her pillow.
Little Yo I have rescued you from the factory, I have ensured that you family will forever be prosperous and all I ask is that in 5 years you hold up your end of the bargain.
Yes mantis demon I will.
Yo got up and dressed and went out side and found she was on a hilltop over looking a great valley.
She could see that there were many farms and lush green forests as far as the eye could see.
Are you happy Yo? Said the mantis demon.
Yes yes but what shall I do for the next five years? Where is my family?
You are to remain here getting the education that a mantis demon wife must have. Your family has a farm in the valley. You can go see them every afternoon.
Now eat breakfast and meet your teacher.
Yo ate breakfast of breads and pastries and drank heartedly of the tea that was offered.
Soon she was full and she wanted to go back to sleep but a fat engorged tick crawled into the room.
Little Yo it is time for your training.
What training cold I possibly need to be the wife of a mantis demon?
Well now not even a full day out of the factory and Little Yo is already too good to learn something. She already knows everything, she knows what and when the mantis demon eats, she knows how to walk with her soon to be husband, and most important of all she knows her place in the scheme of the demon world and in the insect kingdom.
And the tick began to turn. Well that makes my job an easy one for the next five years.
No wait I am sorry I was very brash and rude. I shall never speak to my teacher like that again.
The tick stopped and with out turning said over his shoulder ‘and you will always do as I say without question?’
Yes master tick yes.
The tick turned and smiled. He took two steps and halted.
Why you are very beautiful I see what the mantis sees in you.
Little Yo blushed.
So today we will learn the proper way to greet a mantis.
And so the lessons went until 3 o'clock every day. And at 3:30 Yo would go down to the village to visit with her family. They never asked her about the factory.
They never talked about the fact she refused to wear shoes and they never ever spoke about the times before she had promised the mantis demon marriage.
One evening while in her garden she heard voices. She recognized the tick, and the mantis but the third voice she did not recognize. She crept to the garden wall and ever so slightly peeked over the wall into the garden of the mantis demon. The garden was unkempt and dark. The plants and flowers looked to be on the verge of dying. In the center was the tick, the mantis demon, and a wasp.
Oh great liege, wondrous wasp devil, said the mantis demon I think the plan is going quite well. The sacrifice of the roach king was what sealed the deal. She made her choice freely knowing the full consequences of her actions and she still choose to be my wife.
Yes said the tick she still made the decision to better herself and her family rather than to suffer to save the world. Silly that she refuses to wear shoes even though her choice was as selfish as the Americans that buy the shoes.
ZZZZZZZ said the wasp with a impatient gesture of the wings. Clearly the wasp devil had no love or patience for the tick. The roach king told her everything she needed to know?
Yes said the mantis demon except how to kill me once I am in human form.
Good said the wasp devil well then next week when you are married in the cherry orchard I will grant you the human form so that you may open the door to their world and we shall finally rule as we did so long ago.
Yo, not so little now, held her breath and backed away from the wall and went to her room. What had she done? They were right the choices she had made were for her betterment and her families. She knew that to marry the mantis demon would be dangerous to the rest of the world but she so wanted the drunken boss to stop touching her.
What can she do now? There is now way she can break the promise.
The last week went by in a blur.
she told her family of the marriage to be, they were happy to know that they would always be taken care of.
But mama and papa they will do terrible things to the world when he is in human form.
What do you care of strangers Yo they did not care for you as you made shoes, they did not care that you were fed the garbage of everyone else, they just wanted you to make shoes. Why care for them now?
No there has to be a way.
The night before the wedding Yo and the mantis demon ate dinner togerther.
Do you regret your decision to marry me Yo?
Why no mantis demon why do you ask. Have I not been happy and grateful for all that you have done for my family.
Yes you have but in the last week you seem to be thinking about something.
No I have been thinking about my life as the wife of a mantis demon and different it would have been if I had chosen to stay at the factory.
Yes laughed the mantis demon it would have different alright. Let me show you the difference. And the room went dark and then light and there was Yo with two children one about 5 and a newborn nursing. She beamed at the little one attached to her breast.
Why you look happy Yo.
Yes I do I wonder who my husband is.
And just then came in the drunken boss from the night she made her decision.
Is that my husband?
Yes said the mantis demon he forced you to have sex and then you got pregnant. His boss was mad because you could not sew anymore and made him marry you and he works now to pay your debt.
The child ran up to the man Daddy! And then little boy accidentally stepped on the man’s bare toes. The man came in kicked the 5 year old child and her child cried. Yo laughed at the little boy and told him to stop being so clumsy.
Yo cried and said she did not need to see anymore. and the dinning room came back into focus.
Yes I am glad I made my decision.
Good tomorrow we marry and things will be ever better.
In a cherry orchard she stood in the finest silks of a bride and a spider lord hung from a branch.
The mantis demon stood on her shoulder and her family just behind her.
The spider lord asked them if they knew the meaning of love and marriage and they both replied yes.
The spider lord made them promise to be faithful and they did.
He said "it is with great joy and pride that I proclaim you two to be man and wife"
Yo turned to her husband, he smiled the best smile a mantis demon can muster and she leaned over as if to kiss him. He leaned in and she bit his head off.
To the Church in Ephesus
Letters to the church from the lord #1
To the Church in Ephesus
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
The lord becomes very upset with us in the future.
I never want to see us receive a letter like this,
To the Church in Ephesus
Rev 2:1 “To the angel of the church in Ephesus, write the following:
“This is the solemn pronouncement of the one who has a firm grasp on the seven stars in his right hand – the one who walks among the seven golden lampstands: Rev 2:2 ‘I know your works as well as your labor and steadfast endurance, and that you cannot tolerate evil. You have even put to the test those who refer to themselves as apostles (but are not), and have discovered that they are false.
Rev 2:3 I am also aware that you have persisted steadfastly, endured much for the sake of my name, and have not grown weary.
Rev 2:4 But I have this against you: You have departed from your first love!
Rev 2:5 Therefore, remember from what high state you have fallen and repent! Do the deeds you did at the first; if not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place – that is, if you do not repent.
Rev 2:6 But you do have this going for you: You hate what the Nicolaitans practice – practices I also hate.
Rev 2:7 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers, I will permit him to eat from the tree of life that is in the paradise of God.’
The church of Ephesus has been a rock in the teaching of the lord but in their fervor they have forgotten the love of the lord. They have forgotten to be passionate and compassionate. They tested everyone that came to them, they became cynical and did not believe the miracles that god had bestowed upon them. They became martyrs; they suffered on purpose and used the lord’s name as a reason to suffer. They brought much suffering upon themselves in the name of the lord.
And then look to the heavens and said look oh lord what we endure for you and in your name.
They need to get into the game. They need to realize that the lord provide many convinces for his people for a reason. Look to the miracles around you and realize that the lord has been there for you through the hard times but does not expect you to suffer needlessly.
Yes pay your penance. Pay what you are due to pay but do not pay more.
Rev 3:3
Therefore, remember what you received and heard, and obey it, and repent. If you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will never know at what hour I will come against you.
Act 8:22
Therefore repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that he may perhaps forgive you for the intent of your heart.
But do not wander this world going oh poor me I have this huge cross to bare because I am a Christian. Oh poor me I may never achieve financial freedom because I have to contribute to the church. I am Christian and god’s children must always suffer.
Hell No! Get thee into the game! Get into the fucking mud and dirt and get into the game. Play the game as the game was meant to be played. And on Sunday repent for your mistakes during the game
Act 3:19
Therefore repent and turn back so that your sins may be wiped out
But do not sit on the side and cry "poor me, oh lo lord look at the terrible suffering I do in your name" he knows suffering and you have not suffered he knows pain and he knows blood shed but you do not know shit!
So stop trying to pretend to know and get into the fucking game.
Think about it! If you succeed then you can contribute that much more to the church and the church then prospers and the good word of the lord becomes louder and mightier. People will look at you and not say oh look at the Christian suffering NO! They will say look at the lord's child prospering because of the lord, Look at the children of god making a difference.
Stop your weeping. Stop crying foul! And get your ass into the mix. Find your hole and exploit it! If some piece of shit fucking in your office steps on your hand then gouge his fucking eye. If he steps on your tow while punching you then lift his nut sack with your other foot.
Lev 21:20
or a hunchback, or a dwarf, or one with a spot in his eye, or a festering eruption, or a feverish rash, or a crushed testicle.
But do not come on Thursday and take the beating from me and then cry oh I get beat all day long at work by the heathens and the sinful masses and then I come here and I have to pay for my sins but I do this because that is what the lord wants.
No the lord wants you to step up. I want you to step up. My game does not improve unless yours does.
Deu 9:4 Do not think to yourself after the Lord your God has driven them out before you, “Because of my own righteousness the Lord has brought me here to possess this land.” It is because of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord is driving them out ahead of you. 9:5 It is not because of your righteousness, or even your inner uprightness, that you have come here to possess their land. Instead, because of the wickedness of these nations the Lord your God is driving them out ahead of you in order to confirm the promise he made on oath to your ancestors, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 9:6 Understand, therefore, that it is not because of your righteousness that the Lord your God is about to give you this good land as a possession, for you are a stubborn people!
I want you all to start the next week with a promise to succeed. I want to hear that you are up for a promotion and that you stepped up to your boss and asked "What do I need to do to get to the next level?" and then you can repent any acts that you have committed to get there. The ends justify the means. If you commit a sin to get to the next level then you can always come to me and I will hear your sins and I will give you penance to pay and you can repent and start the next week fresh and ready to kick that office bully's ass.
Eph 6:13
For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand.
Do not play the part of the victim, do not play the part of the martyr, and do not fucking come to me and ask why do I have to suffer?
Fuck yeah that the lord did the suffering for you. The lord took three shots for you. The lord was beaten down and spit on for you. Now get your asses up and kick some ass.
The only people that will survive in the future are those that get up and take what is theirs. If it belongs to you then no one will fault you for taking what is yours. If some one wants to take what is yours then kick the godless ass and tell them the lord told you to smite them. Nothing scares the sinners more than a Christian who kicks ass in the name of god. Trust me on this. I get e-mails all fucking day from those that think I am too over the top and I get some from the whiners that say I am suppose to suffer and not be the strong reverend. And that these sermons are blasphemous.
I laugh and ask them what was the last thing the lord did for you? They can not answer. I tell them the lord gave me the power to kick ass and every ass I kicked the lord thanked me for by letting me kick another.
Get off the side of the track. Look at the rule book and figure where the rule is exploited and exploit it. That is the way it is done now. That is how anybody is going to make it.
If it is yours take it, if it does not belong to anybody take it. If you take it and it does not belong to you then ask for forgiveness.
I have given up on the rocks and I now have a baseball bat. After today we will all know who the sinners are in the parking lot.
Eph 6:23 Peace to the brothers and sisters, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 6:24 Grace be with all of those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.
The food bank is looking for donations to assist in the thanksgiving holiday food baskets that will be handed out to the legal residents that are in need of assistance. So please either donate time or donate food. If you think that you maybe in need of assistance then ask and volunteer some time to help.
The daycare and Sunday school center is looking for assistance. If you have patience and time on Sunday please consider helping out. The boxing gloves fro the toddlers are the cutest things you should see them. We have pink for the girls and blue for the boys.
That reminds me. Boys if you all lose again this week I will get you all pinkly gloves and take away the reds ones until you can hold your own. I think the boys are fighting with their hearts and not their heads. I know that the girl’s champion is HOT! But you think that she wants to date a guy that she beat up??
Hell no! Step up! Show her that you are a man that can take what is his and she will be putty in your hands. I promise, so you can provide and she will show you she can care for your household. Because that is what it is all about!
I tell you all to keep your pimp hand strong for a reason.
To the Church in Ephesus
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
The lord becomes very upset with us in the future.
I never want to see us receive a letter like this,
To the Church in Ephesus
Rev 2:1 “To the angel of the church in Ephesus, write the following:
“This is the solemn pronouncement of the one who has a firm grasp on the seven stars in his right hand – the one who walks among the seven golden lampstands: Rev 2:2 ‘I know your works as well as your labor and steadfast endurance, and that you cannot tolerate evil. You have even put to the test those who refer to themselves as apostles (but are not), and have discovered that they are false.
Rev 2:3 I am also aware that you have persisted steadfastly, endured much for the sake of my name, and have not grown weary.
Rev 2:4 But I have this against you: You have departed from your first love!
Rev 2:5 Therefore, remember from what high state you have fallen and repent! Do the deeds you did at the first; if not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place – that is, if you do not repent.
Rev 2:6 But you do have this going for you: You hate what the Nicolaitans practice – practices I also hate.
Rev 2:7 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers, I will permit him to eat from the tree of life that is in the paradise of God.’
The church of Ephesus has been a rock in the teaching of the lord but in their fervor they have forgotten the love of the lord. They have forgotten to be passionate and compassionate. They tested everyone that came to them, they became cynical and did not believe the miracles that god had bestowed upon them. They became martyrs; they suffered on purpose and used the lord’s name as a reason to suffer. They brought much suffering upon themselves in the name of the lord.
And then look to the heavens and said look oh lord what we endure for you and in your name.
They need to get into the game. They need to realize that the lord provide many convinces for his people for a reason. Look to the miracles around you and realize that the lord has been there for you through the hard times but does not expect you to suffer needlessly.
Yes pay your penance. Pay what you are due to pay but do not pay more.
Rev 3:3
Therefore, remember what you received and heard, and obey it, and repent. If you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will never know at what hour I will come against you.
Act 8:22
Therefore repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that he may perhaps forgive you for the intent of your heart.
But do not wander this world going oh poor me I have this huge cross to bare because I am a Christian. Oh poor me I may never achieve financial freedom because I have to contribute to the church. I am Christian and god’s children must always suffer.
Hell No! Get thee into the game! Get into the fucking mud and dirt and get into the game. Play the game as the game was meant to be played. And on Sunday repent for your mistakes during the game
Act 3:19
Therefore repent and turn back so that your sins may be wiped out
But do not sit on the side and cry "poor me, oh lo lord look at the terrible suffering I do in your name" he knows suffering and you have not suffered he knows pain and he knows blood shed but you do not know shit!
So stop trying to pretend to know and get into the fucking game.
Think about it! If you succeed then you can contribute that much more to the church and the church then prospers and the good word of the lord becomes louder and mightier. People will look at you and not say oh look at the Christian suffering NO! They will say look at the lord's child prospering because of the lord, Look at the children of god making a difference.
Stop your weeping. Stop crying foul! And get your ass into the mix. Find your hole and exploit it! If some piece of shit fucking in your office steps on your hand then gouge his fucking eye. If he steps on your tow while punching you then lift his nut sack with your other foot.
Lev 21:20
or a hunchback, or a dwarf, or one with a spot in his eye, or a festering eruption, or a feverish rash, or a crushed testicle.
But do not come on Thursday and take the beating from me and then cry oh I get beat all day long at work by the heathens and the sinful masses and then I come here and I have to pay for my sins but I do this because that is what the lord wants.
No the lord wants you to step up. I want you to step up. My game does not improve unless yours does.
Deu 9:4 Do not think to yourself after the Lord your God has driven them out before you, “Because of my own righteousness the Lord has brought me here to possess this land.” It is because of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord is driving them out ahead of you. 9:5 It is not because of your righteousness, or even your inner uprightness, that you have come here to possess their land. Instead, because of the wickedness of these nations the Lord your God is driving them out ahead of you in order to confirm the promise he made on oath to your ancestors, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 9:6 Understand, therefore, that it is not because of your righteousness that the Lord your God is about to give you this good land as a possession, for you are a stubborn people!
I want you all to start the next week with a promise to succeed. I want to hear that you are up for a promotion and that you stepped up to your boss and asked "What do I need to do to get to the next level?" and then you can repent any acts that you have committed to get there. The ends justify the means. If you commit a sin to get to the next level then you can always come to me and I will hear your sins and I will give you penance to pay and you can repent and start the next week fresh and ready to kick that office bully's ass.
Eph 6:13
For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand.
Do not play the part of the victim, do not play the part of the martyr, and do not fucking come to me and ask why do I have to suffer?
Fuck yeah that the lord did the suffering for you. The lord took three shots for you. The lord was beaten down and spit on for you. Now get your asses up and kick some ass.
The only people that will survive in the future are those that get up and take what is theirs. If it belongs to you then no one will fault you for taking what is yours. If some one wants to take what is yours then kick the godless ass and tell them the lord told you to smite them. Nothing scares the sinners more than a Christian who kicks ass in the name of god. Trust me on this. I get e-mails all fucking day from those that think I am too over the top and I get some from the whiners that say I am suppose to suffer and not be the strong reverend. And that these sermons are blasphemous.
I laugh and ask them what was the last thing the lord did for you? They can not answer. I tell them the lord gave me the power to kick ass and every ass I kicked the lord thanked me for by letting me kick another.
Get off the side of the track. Look at the rule book and figure where the rule is exploited and exploit it. That is the way it is done now. That is how anybody is going to make it.
If it is yours take it, if it does not belong to anybody take it. If you take it and it does not belong to you then ask for forgiveness.
I have given up on the rocks and I now have a baseball bat. After today we will all know who the sinners are in the parking lot.
Eph 6:23 Peace to the brothers and sisters, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 6:24 Grace be with all of those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.
The food bank is looking for donations to assist in the thanksgiving holiday food baskets that will be handed out to the legal residents that are in need of assistance. So please either donate time or donate food. If you think that you maybe in need of assistance then ask and volunteer some time to help.
The daycare and Sunday school center is looking for assistance. If you have patience and time on Sunday please consider helping out. The boxing gloves fro the toddlers are the cutest things you should see them. We have pink for the girls and blue for the boys.
That reminds me. Boys if you all lose again this week I will get you all pinkly gloves and take away the reds ones until you can hold your own. I think the boys are fighting with their hearts and not their heads. I know that the girl’s champion is HOT! But you think that she wants to date a guy that she beat up??
Hell no! Step up! Show her that you are a man that can take what is his and she will be putty in your hands. I promise, so you can provide and she will show you she can care for your household. Because that is what it is all about!
I tell you all to keep your pimp hand strong for a reason.
In my neighborhood #18
In my neighborhood #18
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Trent Reznor came to my door asking if knew anything about Marilyn
It seems that Marilyn boasted to Trent that he had bought a house and he was very proud of this purchase
However, when Trent went to the door to see his good friend’s house and give him a house-warming present of a rotting meat sculpture, Marilyn was not home and Vanilla Ice was answering the door.
This was very odd to Trent as he was not aware of Vanilla and Marilyn being friends.
What did Vanilla say to you? I asked
That he was the owner and he had never heard of Marilyn living there but from the door, I could see the taxidermy cow hanging on the wall. Therefore, I pressed Vanilla about this and Vanilla finally broke down and said that he was just borrowing the house and he would give it up as soon as he was asked to leave. However, he still did not know anything about Marilyn’s disappearance.
Trent said that he had spoken to Henry who knew nothing (no surprise there). And he had spoken to Pamela Anderson who was having a very blonde day as he put it.
I introduced myself and invited Trent in for lemonade (Miley Style) he was gracious and polite but when he stepped inside he began to asked pointed questions and made accusations of cover ups and conspiracies. Saying things like this is so typical no-one understands Marilyn he is just too far ahead of his time.
Trent I told him Marilyn is not ahead of anybody. He PISSES on his audience for Christ sakes and he maneuvered his band mates out of a very successful gig.
Trent began to get a little frantic in his speech, his arms began to wave about in crazy windmill circles, and spittle and saliva foam began to fly from his lips.
And honestly I was regretting inviting him in. he was getting scary like crazy scary and I was beginning to mentally calculate how fast can I get to the butcher knife in the kitchen.
He was screaming now about how he needed to find "Mare". That mare would know what to do. Then he lunged at me like a crack addict. Honestly, it was not a surprise though because he was in the red zone long before he attacked me.
I held up one arm to fend the attack and began to back-peddle into the kitchen. I hit the dining room table with my right hip and fell down to one knee, that was enough for Trent to really put on the full court press, and he jumped on me. I fell back pulling the bible I had at the edge of the table. Trent pressed his whole body on mine and brought his face real close to me and then he got very calm and said that my breath was salty just like he likes it and he stuck out his tongue.
I rolled him to one side and brought the bible up under his chin forcing him to bite his own tongue.
He screamed and began to thrash about on the floor as if he was in a seizure or something. I jumped to my feet and started to the phone but he was in between me, the phone, me, and the only exit. I was freaking trapped.
He stopped convulsing and looked at me sideways.
You kilbed maberilyn bdibdm't myou!
No I did not
And then in a low hoarse whisper he was said he was going to eat me.
I backed into the kitchen to put the island between me and the crazy guy. He started to get up and I remember opening the drawer and the next thing you know Trent is on the floor with the butcher’s knife steel sticking in his eye.
Yes officer I dragged his body out the front door right away.
Because if he was to be pronounced dead IN my house I would have to disclose it to the potential buyers but if he was to be dead OUTside well that is a whole other loop hole.
Marilyn? No he is probably on an animal sex binge with drugs and liquor out in some god forsaken Midwest barn sneezing from all the hay pollen.
Vanilla? I guess he was house sitting and decided that a crazy Trent Reznor was not worth the free shelter and vamoosed.
Would you like some lemonade?
Sure I have no plans to leave town and if I am needed down at the station for anymore questions I would be more than happy to come down.
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Trent Reznor came to my door asking if knew anything about Marilyn
It seems that Marilyn boasted to Trent that he had bought a house and he was very proud of this purchase
However, when Trent went to the door to see his good friend’s house and give him a house-warming present of a rotting meat sculpture, Marilyn was not home and Vanilla Ice was answering the door.
This was very odd to Trent as he was not aware of Vanilla and Marilyn being friends.
What did Vanilla say to you? I asked
That he was the owner and he had never heard of Marilyn living there but from the door, I could see the taxidermy cow hanging on the wall. Therefore, I pressed Vanilla about this and Vanilla finally broke down and said that he was just borrowing the house and he would give it up as soon as he was asked to leave. However, he still did not know anything about Marilyn’s disappearance.
Trent said that he had spoken to Henry who knew nothing (no surprise there). And he had spoken to Pamela Anderson who was having a very blonde day as he put it.
I introduced myself and invited Trent in for lemonade (Miley Style) he was gracious and polite but when he stepped inside he began to asked pointed questions and made accusations of cover ups and conspiracies. Saying things like this is so typical no-one understands Marilyn he is just too far ahead of his time.
Trent I told him Marilyn is not ahead of anybody. He PISSES on his audience for Christ sakes and he maneuvered his band mates out of a very successful gig.
Trent began to get a little frantic in his speech, his arms began to wave about in crazy windmill circles, and spittle and saliva foam began to fly from his lips.
And honestly I was regretting inviting him in. he was getting scary like crazy scary and I was beginning to mentally calculate how fast can I get to the butcher knife in the kitchen.
He was screaming now about how he needed to find "Mare". That mare would know what to do. Then he lunged at me like a crack addict. Honestly, it was not a surprise though because he was in the red zone long before he attacked me.
I held up one arm to fend the attack and began to back-peddle into the kitchen. I hit the dining room table with my right hip and fell down to one knee, that was enough for Trent to really put on the full court press, and he jumped on me. I fell back pulling the bible I had at the edge of the table. Trent pressed his whole body on mine and brought his face real close to me and then he got very calm and said that my breath was salty just like he likes it and he stuck out his tongue.
I rolled him to one side and brought the bible up under his chin forcing him to bite his own tongue.
He screamed and began to thrash about on the floor as if he was in a seizure or something. I jumped to my feet and started to the phone but he was in between me, the phone, me, and the only exit. I was freaking trapped.
He stopped convulsing and looked at me sideways.
You kilbed maberilyn bdibdm't myou!
No I did not
And then in a low hoarse whisper he was said he was going to eat me.
I backed into the kitchen to put the island between me and the crazy guy. He started to get up and I remember opening the drawer and the next thing you know Trent is on the floor with the butcher’s knife steel sticking in his eye.
Yes officer I dragged his body out the front door right away.
Because if he was to be pronounced dead IN my house I would have to disclose it to the potential buyers but if he was to be dead OUTside well that is a whole other loop hole.
Marilyn? No he is probably on an animal sex binge with drugs and liquor out in some god forsaken Midwest barn sneezing from all the hay pollen.
Vanilla? I guess he was house sitting and decided that a crazy Trent Reznor was not worth the free shelter and vamoosed.
Would you like some lemonade?
Sure I have no plans to leave town and if I am needed down at the station for anymore questions I would be more than happy to come down.
In my neighborhood #17
In my neighborhood #17
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
My family was over at Henry’s for movie night. It is something we do occasionally because we are neighbors and I poke fun at him. The movie was “Falling Down”, it was wonderful film of a man snapping, of a man who had enough shit and he went on a walk about. kind of Australia LA style.
Henry starts to talk about how he identifies with the main character played by Michael Douglas. And he pauses the movie to stand in the living center and start a recitation of one of his pieces. Wendy goes to the bathroom and Kidd starts to nod off on Pam’s chest.
Henry starts to speak to my son about corporate rapers and devourers of the common man's soul. And how one morning while shaving his head he came to realization that singing for Black Flag was not his true calling but a prelude to what he must do with his life.
I have that voice, the voice of the common man I can reach multitudes and let them know that the common man is pissed and poor and tired of being someone else’s bitch. The common man works all week at a job he does not enjoy so that he can barely provide for his family and put just enough gas in his tank to go to work another day to do it all over again.
I speak for the average Joe because I identify with him I know him he is my base and I am his champion. He knows that I fight his fight for him.
No, you speak so much and so loud that you only hear your voice, you only know your thoughts. You then stand up there on stage for your high paid speaking engagements and regurgitate your thoughts and your ideals onto the stage like it is the gospel and we all think that way. but you do not speak for me and you do not speak for many of the common man.
You do not struggle?
oh yes I do struggle I struggle against discrimination, I struggle against entitlement. I struggle against oppression and I endure lie after lie after lie. I wade through vomit of “This is for you, It is good for you and I have done this great thing for you”. Much of the same puke and shit you spewed just now. But the fact is you know nothing of my struggle. You work in a field that enjoys you and pays you a beyond average salary. You speak of things you have never ever been in touch with or it has been so long since you have been in touch that you have forgotten the weight of failure, the weight of trudging to a Jay Oh Bee, the god awful beatings at the gas pump knowing that it is all a conspiracy.
A conspiracy? Henry asked
Yes the war, the gas prices, the economy recession and inflation. It is all a great controlling play to guide and heard the masses into a class based society controlled by the rich and supported by the poor.
I know that is what I am talking about.
Well stop talking and do something. The revolution is mounting; the tides of change are ebbing to a wave of evolution. It is just waiting for a spark, a leader, a starter of the fire that would burn the old wood and create a landscape of equality and happiness. But instead you just poke it with a stick and dance around the issue with the step and grace of an ignorant native worshiping the eclipse like it was a great god devouring the sun.
You need to step up and fight, get the ball rolling. Start a channel on youtube tell everyone on youtube who you are voting for and why. Point out platform points and tell them why they are good for the nation, why they are good for the world, and most importantly of all why they are good for me. Then if your champion is elected you have to speak once a month about your candidates actions, you have to explain why your candidate failed to execute and not in the criticizing why that all talking heads do, but in a informative educational way. That way when your candidate succeeds or fails you can be accountable for the awful state that you will bitch about. If you speak for the common man because your voice is the loudest and you have this great platform to speak from, you can be accountable for you choices because that is the problem with the corporate rapers and the politicians that devour the souls and cultures of foreign lands, they are not truly accountable. No-one is and that is the shame. That is the failure in world globalization no-one person is accountable for the mistakes or the colossal failures. China is the terrible un-doer of centuries of human rights progression, but they still get the contracts to make the items that we buy and in turn China buys our countries debt.
If our country would invest in the people they would not have debt, they would have a resource, but they want to starve us into submission. They have failed to follow the simple rules of economy since the 80's and it is all to drag our middle down to the level of the global middle so that the global population is equally poor. The rich will be in charge.
You need to tell people of the tragic opera that is being played out on the global stage and get them to drop the curtain before the fat lady sings.
Wow, Henry said all wide eyed like a kid who fired his first gun, that is a tall order I do not know if I can handle that responsibility. I do not know if my voice is loud enough to be heard.
You go to foreign countries and talk shit about you home team all the time.
Get out there and make a change and not pretend anymore.
Yeah! Henry said with belief raising in his throat, I am no poser, I am hardcore, he yells as he gets pumped up, yeah! he begins to hop about, yeah!
You are old but you are hardcore. I yelled.
He beings to pace like the old Henry I remember
And he starts to slap his head.
Yeah fuck yeah.
And he charges out the door and down the street.
Henry is on a world tour go see him and encourage him, I think he might get a little scared from time to time.
Me? I am watering his lawn and his plants.
I pile his mail up on the dining room table and make sure that his two cats “Spoon” and “Mr. Snuggles” are watered and fed.
The movie??
No we never got to finish it and that is fine because I wanted to my son to think about the parts he saw and not the conclusion of the movie.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
My family was over at Henry’s for movie night. It is something we do occasionally because we are neighbors and I poke fun at him. The movie was “Falling Down”, it was wonderful film of a man snapping, of a man who had enough shit and he went on a walk about. kind of Australia LA style.
Henry starts to talk about how he identifies with the main character played by Michael Douglas. And he pauses the movie to stand in the living center and start a recitation of one of his pieces. Wendy goes to the bathroom and Kidd starts to nod off on Pam’s chest.
Henry starts to speak to my son about corporate rapers and devourers of the common man's soul. And how one morning while shaving his head he came to realization that singing for Black Flag was not his true calling but a prelude to what he must do with his life.
I have that voice, the voice of the common man I can reach multitudes and let them know that the common man is pissed and poor and tired of being someone else’s bitch. The common man works all week at a job he does not enjoy so that he can barely provide for his family and put just enough gas in his tank to go to work another day to do it all over again.
I speak for the average Joe because I identify with him I know him he is my base and I am his champion. He knows that I fight his fight for him.
No, you speak so much and so loud that you only hear your voice, you only know your thoughts. You then stand up there on stage for your high paid speaking engagements and regurgitate your thoughts and your ideals onto the stage like it is the gospel and we all think that way. but you do not speak for me and you do not speak for many of the common man.
You do not struggle?
oh yes I do struggle I struggle against discrimination, I struggle against entitlement. I struggle against oppression and I endure lie after lie after lie. I wade through vomit of “This is for you, It is good for you and I have done this great thing for you”. Much of the same puke and shit you spewed just now. But the fact is you know nothing of my struggle. You work in a field that enjoys you and pays you a beyond average salary. You speak of things you have never ever been in touch with or it has been so long since you have been in touch that you have forgotten the weight of failure, the weight of trudging to a Jay Oh Bee, the god awful beatings at the gas pump knowing that it is all a conspiracy.
A conspiracy? Henry asked
Yes the war, the gas prices, the economy recession and inflation. It is all a great controlling play to guide and heard the masses into a class based society controlled by the rich and supported by the poor.
I know that is what I am talking about.
Well stop talking and do something. The revolution is mounting; the tides of change are ebbing to a wave of evolution. It is just waiting for a spark, a leader, a starter of the fire that would burn the old wood and create a landscape of equality and happiness. But instead you just poke it with a stick and dance around the issue with the step and grace of an ignorant native worshiping the eclipse like it was a great god devouring the sun.
You need to step up and fight, get the ball rolling. Start a channel on youtube tell everyone on youtube who you are voting for and why. Point out platform points and tell them why they are good for the nation, why they are good for the world, and most importantly of all why they are good for me. Then if your champion is elected you have to speak once a month about your candidates actions, you have to explain why your candidate failed to execute and not in the criticizing why that all talking heads do, but in a informative educational way. That way when your candidate succeeds or fails you can be accountable for the awful state that you will bitch about. If you speak for the common man because your voice is the loudest and you have this great platform to speak from, you can be accountable for you choices because that is the problem with the corporate rapers and the politicians that devour the souls and cultures of foreign lands, they are not truly accountable. No-one is and that is the shame. That is the failure in world globalization no-one person is accountable for the mistakes or the colossal failures. China is the terrible un-doer of centuries of human rights progression, but they still get the contracts to make the items that we buy and in turn China buys our countries debt.
If our country would invest in the people they would not have debt, they would have a resource, but they want to starve us into submission. They have failed to follow the simple rules of economy since the 80's and it is all to drag our middle down to the level of the global middle so that the global population is equally poor. The rich will be in charge.
You need to tell people of the tragic opera that is being played out on the global stage and get them to drop the curtain before the fat lady sings.
Wow, Henry said all wide eyed like a kid who fired his first gun, that is a tall order I do not know if I can handle that responsibility. I do not know if my voice is loud enough to be heard.
You go to foreign countries and talk shit about you home team all the time.
Get out there and make a change and not pretend anymore.
Yeah! Henry said with belief raising in his throat, I am no poser, I am hardcore, he yells as he gets pumped up, yeah! he begins to hop about, yeah!
You are old but you are hardcore. I yelled.
He beings to pace like the old Henry I remember
And he starts to slap his head.
Yeah fuck yeah.
And he charges out the door and down the street.
Henry is on a world tour go see him and encourage him, I think he might get a little scared from time to time.
Me? I am watering his lawn and his plants.
I pile his mail up on the dining room table and make sure that his two cats “Spoon” and “Mr. Snuggles” are watered and fed.
The movie??
No we never got to finish it and that is fine because I wanted to my son to think about the parts he saw and not the conclusion of the movie.
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Also reading 
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..
Letters to the church from the lord #4 To the Church in Thyatira By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Letters to the church from the lord #4
To the Church in Thyatira
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
2:18 “To the angel of the church in Thyatira write the following:
“This is the solemn pronouncement of the Son of God, the one who has eyes like a fiery flame and whose feet are like polished bronze:
Rev 2:19 ‘I know your deeds: your love, faith, service, and steadfast endurance. In fact, your more recent deeds are greater than your earlier ones.
Rev 2:20 But I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and by her teaching deceives my servants to commit sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols. Rev 2:21 I have given her time to repent, but she is not willing to repent of her sexual immorality. Rev 2:22 Look! I am throwing her onto a bed of violent illness, and those who commit adultery with her into terrible suffering, unless they repent of her deeds. Rev 2:23 Furthermore, I will strike her followers with a deadly disease, and then all the churches will know that I am the one who searches minds and hearts. I will repay each one of you what your deeds deserve. Rev 2:24 But to the rest of you in Thyatira, all who do not hold to this teaching (who have not learned the so-called “deep secrets of Satan”), to you I say: I do not put any additional burden on you. Rev 2:25 However, hold on to what you have until I come. Rev 2:26 And to the one who conquers and who continues in my deeds until the end, I will give him authority over the nations – Rev 2:27 he will rule them with an iron rod and like clay jars he will break them to pieces, Rev 2:28 just as I have received the right to rule from my Father – and I will give him the morning star. Rev 2:29 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’
Fiery flame for eyes and bronze feet. The lord is saying that he is the strong one and he sees all. He seeing into the hearts of all men and knows what evil lurks in the soul of everyone of god's children. That is why god created jesus and sent him. god was tired of looking into our hearts and minds and seeing the evil and sickness that is ourselves.
We are an evil, evil twisted race. we deserve every beating that god gives us. If you are looking at me right know and you are thinking "no that is not true! I do not have evil thoughts" Then you are lying to yourself and to god. But god knows the truth. he sees into your weak pitiful little pea fucking brain and knows that you think about ramming your car into that fucker that cut you off on the way to work.
Isa 47:10
You were complacent in your evil deeds; you thought, ‘No one sees me.’ Your self-professed wisdom and knowledge lead you astray, when you say, ‘I am unique! No one can compare to me!’
and you thought about what it would be like to bash the head in of that old lady that cut in your line at the grocery store and then pretended to be sorry and you let her stay because she was old and you hoped that when you are old like her that someone will be nice to you. But on the inside you thought about the crow bar you have in the trunk and you thought about "How blood can there be in the brain really?"
Job 40:12
Look at every proud man and abase him; crush the wicked on the spot!
Isa 53:10
Though the Lord desired to crush him and make him ill, once restitution is made, he will see descendants and enjoy long life, and the Lord’s purpose will be accomplished through him.
"I know the movies make it seem like a lot of blood, but really would there be a big mess or a little mess?" "would the skull just crush and the skin not break or would the head open up like a melon?" would the sound of the skull sound like a bundle sticks broken on the knee or would it sound more wet and splintery"
The church tolerated sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. We all want to live selfishly and we all want to just do what ever feels good and take care of our own pleasure needs. This evident in the way corporate America is run and the way the government controls the economy. But in the end is this the way god intended us to behave?
[Bang On the podium] NO!
And
[Bang On the podium] HELL NO!
Rom 13:13
Let us live decently as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in discord and jealousy.
Mat 15:19
For out of the heart come evil ideas, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
Num 25:1
When Israel lived in Shittim, the people began to commit sexual immorality with the daughters of Moab.
He wanted us to behave with dignity and respect. He wanted us to go forth and prosper. He wanted us to care for our fellow man. But instead we fuck our neighbor. we screw our employees and we just down right commit terrible terrible twisted sins of unimaginable scale against the planet and then we think we can say we are sorry and the gates will open and god will say "eh he said he was sorry"
[Bang On the podium] NO!
And
[Bang On the podium] HELL NO!
Right! The lord is saying he sees when you are sorry and he can tell when you are lying. He is not going to tolerate this crap any fucking longer.
[Bang On the podium]
You "captains of industry" had better get you houses in order because the day of reckoning is coming and god is fucking pissed. He is pissed at how you all fuck the little guy and how you rape the market and run around like selfish little kids.
You all better get your fucking houses in order because the good lord is coming to pay you all back for your perverted sick pleasure sins that you all have perpetrated on the rest of us and he is going to dish it out like no other punishment on this god forsaken piece of fucking dirt has ever been mended out.
2Th 1:9
They will undergo the penalty of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his strength,
Rom 1:27
and likewise the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed in their passions for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
You are all going to feel the wrath of god for the sins you have committed and you all are going to cry and say girly things like “I did not know, I did not mean it, it is not my fault,” and the best “everybody else was doing it too.”
But you know what?? Everyone else will be burn in hell too. And no this is not the hell mark twain comments about this is the fiery pits and the demons eating your soul over and over again.
Jer 50:15
Shout the battle cry from all around the city. She will throw up her hands in surrender. Her towers will fall. Her walls will be torn down. Because I, the Lord, am wreaking revenge, take out your vengeance on her! Do to her as she has done!
This is the same hell that criminals will be sent to and the same hell rapists will be sent to because you are no different in the eyes of god. You are just the same twisted tragic lost fucking soul as the murders and child predators.
[Loud]
Yes god in heaven will weep for the loss of your soul but the tears will not be enough to extinguish the flames that will roast and toast your pansy ass feet and blister your scalp. You fucktards!
[YELL]
You all fucken piss me off more that I can ever portray in this sermon.
[LOUDEST YELL]
Bring it bitch! I will thump you the word of god until the words "holy bible" are tattooed into your forehead.
You fuckers make me sick!
I would like everyone to stand and welcome the guests we have here today.
Today the cardinal and arch bishop of the Cheyenne catholic diocese stopped by as well as the minister from the second Baptist church of Buzzard Breath. Apparently some of the ministering I have been doing has been carried to other denominations and they came by to see how my style is compared to theirs.
They asked me to come by their churches in the next couple of weeks and after my sermon I will see if they still would like me to come by.
There is good news coming from the boy’s camp. It seems that the friendly competition between the girls and the boys have taken some what of a soap opera type turn. The boys are crying foul and saying that the girls are using steroids.
The girls insist they are not but after the tests comeback we will decide the punishment for the camp that is wrong.
And trust this old reverend, the punishment will make the one crying foul or the one cheating wishing they had been gathered up by the rapture the day before.
Please stop ion the foyer to partake of the cookies and coffee. Please stop and talk to our guests and make them feel welcome.
The choir is in need of a throaty raspy bass to complete the album, “The lord loves death metal too”. The last singer has developed a bad case of laryngitis and the album is about complete.
DO NOT HONK TODAY. I want to make sure that our first impression on our guests is a good one!
Go in peace and have a nice day!
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
To the Church in Thyatira
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
2:18 “To the angel of the church in Thyatira write the following:
“This is the solemn pronouncement of the Son of God, the one who has eyes like a fiery flame and whose feet are like polished bronze:
Rev 2:19 ‘I know your deeds: your love, faith, service, and steadfast endurance. In fact, your more recent deeds are greater than your earlier ones.
Rev 2:20 But I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and by her teaching deceives my servants to commit sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols. Rev 2:21 I have given her time to repent, but she is not willing to repent of her sexual immorality. Rev 2:22 Look! I am throwing her onto a bed of violent illness, and those who commit adultery with her into terrible suffering, unless they repent of her deeds. Rev 2:23 Furthermore, I will strike her followers with a deadly disease, and then all the churches will know that I am the one who searches minds and hearts. I will repay each one of you what your deeds deserve. Rev 2:24 But to the rest of you in Thyatira, all who do not hold to this teaching (who have not learned the so-called “deep secrets of Satan”), to you I say: I do not put any additional burden on you. Rev 2:25 However, hold on to what you have until I come. Rev 2:26 And to the one who conquers and who continues in my deeds until the end, I will give him authority over the nations – Rev 2:27 he will rule them with an iron rod and like clay jars he will break them to pieces, Rev 2:28 just as I have received the right to rule from my Father – and I will give him the morning star. Rev 2:29 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’
Fiery flame for eyes and bronze feet. The lord is saying that he is the strong one and he sees all. He seeing into the hearts of all men and knows what evil lurks in the soul of everyone of god's children. That is why god created jesus and sent him. god was tired of looking into our hearts and minds and seeing the evil and sickness that is ourselves.
We are an evil, evil twisted race. we deserve every beating that god gives us. If you are looking at me right know and you are thinking "no that is not true! I do not have evil thoughts" Then you are lying to yourself and to god. But god knows the truth. he sees into your weak pitiful little pea fucking brain and knows that you think about ramming your car into that fucker that cut you off on the way to work.
Isa 47:10
You were complacent in your evil deeds; you thought, ‘No one sees me.’ Your self-professed wisdom and knowledge lead you astray, when you say, ‘I am unique! No one can compare to me!’
and you thought about what it would be like to bash the head in of that old lady that cut in your line at the grocery store and then pretended to be sorry and you let her stay because she was old and you hoped that when you are old like her that someone will be nice to you. But on the inside you thought about the crow bar you have in the trunk and you thought about "How blood can there be in the brain really?"
Job 40:12
Look at every proud man and abase him; crush the wicked on the spot!
Isa 53:10
Though the Lord desired to crush him and make him ill, once restitution is made, he will see descendants and enjoy long life, and the Lord’s purpose will be accomplished through him.
"I know the movies make it seem like a lot of blood, but really would there be a big mess or a little mess?" "would the skull just crush and the skin not break or would the head open up like a melon?" would the sound of the skull sound like a bundle sticks broken on the knee or would it sound more wet and splintery"
The church tolerated sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. We all want to live selfishly and we all want to just do what ever feels good and take care of our own pleasure needs. This evident in the way corporate America is run and the way the government controls the economy. But in the end is this the way god intended us to behave?
[Bang On the podium] NO!
And
[Bang On the podium] HELL NO!
Rom 13:13
Let us live decently as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in discord and jealousy.
Mat 15:19
For out of the heart come evil ideas, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
Num 25:1
When Israel lived in Shittim, the people began to commit sexual immorality with the daughters of Moab.
He wanted us to behave with dignity and respect. He wanted us to go forth and prosper. He wanted us to care for our fellow man. But instead we fuck our neighbor. we screw our employees and we just down right commit terrible terrible twisted sins of unimaginable scale against the planet and then we think we can say we are sorry and the gates will open and god will say "eh he said he was sorry"
[Bang On the podium] NO!
And
[Bang On the podium] HELL NO!
Right! The lord is saying he sees when you are sorry and he can tell when you are lying. He is not going to tolerate this crap any fucking longer.
[Bang On the podium]
You "captains of industry" had better get you houses in order because the day of reckoning is coming and god is fucking pissed. He is pissed at how you all fuck the little guy and how you rape the market and run around like selfish little kids.
You all better get your fucking houses in order because the good lord is coming to pay you all back for your perverted sick pleasure sins that you all have perpetrated on the rest of us and he is going to dish it out like no other punishment on this god forsaken piece of fucking dirt has ever been mended out.
2Th 1:9
They will undergo the penalty of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his strength,
Rom 1:27
and likewise the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed in their passions for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
You are all going to feel the wrath of god for the sins you have committed and you all are going to cry and say girly things like “I did not know, I did not mean it, it is not my fault,” and the best “everybody else was doing it too.”
But you know what?? Everyone else will be burn in hell too. And no this is not the hell mark twain comments about this is the fiery pits and the demons eating your soul over and over again.
Jer 50:15
Shout the battle cry from all around the city. She will throw up her hands in surrender. Her towers will fall. Her walls will be torn down. Because I, the Lord, am wreaking revenge, take out your vengeance on her! Do to her as she has done!
This is the same hell that criminals will be sent to and the same hell rapists will be sent to because you are no different in the eyes of god. You are just the same twisted tragic lost fucking soul as the murders and child predators.
[Loud]
Yes god in heaven will weep for the loss of your soul but the tears will not be enough to extinguish the flames that will roast and toast your pansy ass feet and blister your scalp. You fucktards!
[YELL]
You all fucken piss me off more that I can ever portray in this sermon.
[LOUDEST YELL]
Bring it bitch! I will thump you the word of god until the words "holy bible" are tattooed into your forehead.
You fuckers make me sick!
I would like everyone to stand and welcome the guests we have here today.
Today the cardinal and arch bishop of the Cheyenne catholic diocese stopped by as well as the minister from the second Baptist church of Buzzard Breath. Apparently some of the ministering I have been doing has been carried to other denominations and they came by to see how my style is compared to theirs.
They asked me to come by their churches in the next couple of weeks and after my sermon I will see if they still would like me to come by.
There is good news coming from the boy’s camp. It seems that the friendly competition between the girls and the boys have taken some what of a soap opera type turn. The boys are crying foul and saying that the girls are using steroids.
The girls insist they are not but after the tests comeback we will decide the punishment for the camp that is wrong.
And trust this old reverend, the punishment will make the one crying foul or the one cheating wishing they had been gathered up by the rapture the day before.
Please stop ion the foyer to partake of the cookies and coffee. Please stop and talk to our guests and make them feel welcome.
The choir is in need of a throaty raspy bass to complete the album, “The lord loves death metal too”. The last singer has developed a bad case of laryngitis and the album is about complete.
DO NOT HONK TODAY. I want to make sure that our first impression on our guests is a good one!
Go in peace and have a nice day!
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
Also reading
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..
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