Crackers and porn.

 The angry gods sat at the table made from the bones and skin of humans.

 They rallied and railed on the loss of devotees. What can we do? They just sit there looking at "internet porn".

 The succubus quietly brought in cheeses from all regions.

 Bloggers! Harrumphed another one.

 Yahweh stood and raised a hand. "I believe it's time for a complete reinstall."

 “Of course you would” said Zeus “you always like that. But seriously who here has the time for such a project.”

 “I do. said Satan.

 Then let Satan do it and let us see what he gets.

Demons From My Past

 I have been assaulted by some demons from my past. I was asked to join facebook and join some grouping of evil people.

 I have lost touch with many of them because we have nothing in common.

 I feel this is the natural progression of unhealthy relationships and poorly managed healthy ones. I have been a poor friend to many and a bad enemy to even more.

 I moved away. I have a family. This family means more to me than anything else. I will protect this family and I eat anything that threatens this family. Yes I said eat!

Diapers and revenge

 When my children were potty training they would yell from the bathroom “I am done. Come wipe my butt.”

 My wife and I would play rock paper scissors to elect the butt wiper. When I would lose she would smile. And when I won I would smile. It was love pure and simple.

 Now as I get older I now realize that there will be a time when I will be in need of bathroom assistance.

 I do not look forward to the day that I have to yell, “I am done come wipe my butt.” But will they smile?

Eat the dog

The chant was so unison it was almost one voice.

 It was his first band camp.

 He wanted to make new alliances, this was to be his year, he was going to be the man, he was going to get a girlfriend AND kiss her.

 And then his parents sent him to this camp.

 Now he’s in the circle, with the whole camp chanting and watching him.

 What's this going to accomplish?

 It's a team building exercise. Now you will share in their strength and share a bond that can not be broken.

 Now it’s simple, just Eat The Dog

Hour glass sand

 The last grain of her sand dropped into the bottom bell and she drew in her last breath and expired.

 At her side was her lover.  At her end, he wailed and cried. He angrily shook his fists at god. And he yelled never again do you hear me? NEVER!