- 09:49 is getting his ass handed to him by by some guy named peesleeper21. there are that many named peesleeper that he had to add 21. #
- 09:50 xbox call of duty 5 not so cool anymore. #
- 11:19 has found out his liver is fatty and has a cyst. is this serious? he does not know. but it don't sound good. #
- 11:19 I may be extra cranky for a bit #
- 11:57 @malflic i should rephrase this 2 fullon on a rage binge. The doctor will not say anything more than it could be serious go 2 the specialist #
- 11:58 can't we just slap that sucker on a tread mill and work it out? #
- 11:58 if i drank a lot i would understand but this is crap. #
- 12:09 @tim_taber why don't you? they cost 3k to 5k. share the trans fee with the courthouse and your in business. i am working a deal with my LL #
- 15:52 @tim_taber no way get in the mud with the rest of the pigs and pirates and the whores beat them at their own slanted oppressive game. #
- 17:31 @Revsleestaxx was here before @oprah herebeforeoprah.com #herebeforeoprah #
- 17:58 Currently Browsing: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatty_liver #
- 17:59 Currently Browsing: tinyurl.com/c8cv9l #
- 17:59 Currently Browsing: tinyurl.com/yeaybf #
- 17:59 Currently Browsing: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corticosteroid #
- 17:59 Currently Browsing: tinyurl.com/c4amhs #
- 17:59 Currently Browsing: www.mayoclinic.com/health/medical/IM03725 #
- 18:00 Currently Browsing: tinyurl.com/d6ayfg #
- 18:01 Currently Browsing: tinyurl.com/cc9arf #
- 18:01 Currently Browsing: tinyurl.com/cjl9ez #
- 18:02 closing for the end of the day have much reading to do tonight! #
- 18:43 @malflic I have whooped the grim reapers ass afew times and I have diverted fate on more than one occasion. #
- 18:50 @tim_taber whos that? the grime reaper of fate? #
- 18:56 @tim_taber sorry i meant grim reaper OR fate or both? #
- 18:57 @tim_taber i may have to send fate your way to divert him again but no one should ever send the reaper to anybody. that Muther is mean #
- 18:57 @tim_taber and he does not fight cleanly. fortunately neither do I #
In my neighborhood #22
In my neighborhood #22
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
The HOA sponsored an Easter celebration for the neighborhood kids. And Easter egg hunt was had. Candy (no brown M&Ms) was handed out and Henry Rollins was in the Easter bunny suit for pictures and entertainment for the kids.
I was done handing out candy and potato plastic Easter baskets so I decided to sit on a bench by the playground equipment.
“hey John you really a reverend?” I turned to see Eminem sitting next to me.
“Yes Marshall I am”
“Can we talk?”
“Sure what about.”
“I have been having anger issues and I have been in the dumps lately. Do you think there is really a god?”
“Yes I know there is because he speaks to me everyday. What has that got to do with your anger and depression?”
“I just want to know if there is really a reason for it all. You know what I mean?”
Just then Henry starts flopping on the ground in front of the kids. He looks like a fish until he starts yelling about grenades and the kids start throwing the hard boiled eggs at him.
He starts talking about his arms and legs being blow’d off. Some of the kids stop giggling and start to look frightened.
Henry starts to lecture the wee tikes about the evil of wars.
“Hey Henry” Eminem yells. “Give it a rest, you’re starting to scare the kids.”
Henry looks at us. “But…” Just then some entourage member of Eminem’s stepped toward Henry.
“Yeah you’re right Em, We should be just celebrating the rise of commercial religion and the monsters that consumerism has breeds.”
Eminem throws an egg at Henry maybe a little too hard and the egg bounces off the left side of Rollins’ head. He yelps and the kids start to giggle and throw the eggs at Rollins a bit harder now, but he plays along acting now like a rabbit, then a duck, and then a rabbit again.
“Marshall what were you saying about being worth it?”
“No,” he says looking straight at me to make the point of the seriousness. “it is worth it but is there a reason for it all. I mean I work hard to write these deep meaning lyrics and the only thing that gets play is the same bubble gum crap. I try to educate the fan base but they all just act like sheep. Why? What is the reason for the fire in me to write real shit and he only thing that gets noticed is me riffing on the stupidity of it all and the insults I make towards other famous people.”
“What has this got to do with god?” I ask.
“Well if there is a god like you say and he has a purpose for me and I am fulfilling that purpose, then why do I still feel so empty and angry all the time?”
“Why are my real songs being ignored, why does it depress me about the shady, stealing shifty, fuckers that have latched on to me like a leeches.” He paused looking out over the small crowd of children.
The pause was so long that I thought he was done. And then he restarted
“If there was a god he would make my other stuff noticed and keep the suckers off my back. Right?”
“Well actually no.” I said already sorry for the answer before I could finish. “See the lord gave us all free will and so he can not make other people like your truer songs.”
“You are fulfilling your purpose. It seems that gods plan for you is to be a father better than your father, a performer that entertains and educates, and a voice for the many that are suffering poverty.”
“You are doing all these things. You should be happy and feel fulfilled.
“But I am not.” He sighed visibly frustrated.
“Then I would say you are guilty of something.” I said rather Harsly but he is a man he can handle the truth.
“WHAT?”
“Now it is my experience that if one is doing what one loves to do, then that person is happy, but if that person is not happy then they are guilty of something and in your case it would be your success.”
“What why would I be guilty of my success?” He said puzzled.
“You do not feel you are worth the admiration and accolades that are thrusted upon you. You feel that somewhere there was a point that you should have failed and stayed PWT. But here you are old fat and rich. You grew up fighting for everything and now everything is handed to you and you have all this fight left and no real channel for the energy.” I paused for this to sink in a bit.
“Dude, accept that you are successful, that you are old, you are fat, and you are rich. Accept that you have become all that you despised when you were young and relish in the fact that you can make positive changes in other people’s lives.”
“Is that why Henry is so happy?”
“Well henry is too dumb to be happy because he has never realized that he is old, fat, rich and irrelevant.” We laughed and watch him mock wrestle a stuffed panda bear.
“He still does not have that stupid bird bath and he is happy. I think that maybe he was behind the door when the brains were being handed out.”
Marshall smiled that evil smile he had when he was young.
“Thanks John you were a big help. So there really is a god?”
“Yes there is.” Staring into the sun behind his head. {Fucker}
“Are you sure?” Cocking his head to one side.
“Yes I am, he just told me to tell you to come by on Thursday.”
“Really? What happens on Thursday?
“Just some more education I think you deserve it you old fat man.
“Ha you are older than me John.” He smiled.
“And yet I am happier.” I smiled back to meet his
Marshall scooped up his kids and headed home.
Johnny Cash was playing gospel songs for the crowd. It was a nice day.
Henry came up covered in egg and candy with grass stains on his furry knees.
“Hey John, do you think the HOA will pay for he cleaning bill of my bunny suit?”
“No Henry they will not. They did not ask you to roll on the ground and act like a wounded war vet. They did not ask you to dress up as a bunny. You volunteered. Hey why do you have a bunny suit anyways?”
“My sexual preferences are none of your business.” He shot back in defiance and shame.
“Well you could have said ‘it was a charity thing you do’ but, now we all know you are a sick twisted, bird loving, old punker with little else to do but get kinky in a bunny suit.”
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
The HOA sponsored an Easter celebration for the neighborhood kids. And Easter egg hunt was had. Candy (no brown M&Ms) was handed out and Henry Rollins was in the Easter bunny suit for pictures and entertainment for the kids.
I was done handing out candy and potato plastic Easter baskets so I decided to sit on a bench by the playground equipment.
“hey John you really a reverend?” I turned to see Eminem sitting next to me.
“Yes Marshall I am”
“Can we talk?”
“Sure what about.”
“I have been having anger issues and I have been in the dumps lately. Do you think there is really a god?”
“Yes I know there is because he speaks to me everyday. What has that got to do with your anger and depression?”
“I just want to know if there is really a reason for it all. You know what I mean?”
Just then Henry starts flopping on the ground in front of the kids. He looks like a fish until he starts yelling about grenades and the kids start throwing the hard boiled eggs at him.
He starts talking about his arms and legs being blow’d off. Some of the kids stop giggling and start to look frightened.
Henry starts to lecture the wee tikes about the evil of wars.
“Hey Henry” Eminem yells. “Give it a rest, you’re starting to scare the kids.”
Henry looks at us. “But…” Just then some entourage member of Eminem’s stepped toward Henry.
“Yeah you’re right Em, We should be just celebrating the rise of commercial religion and the monsters that consumerism has breeds.”
Eminem throws an egg at Henry maybe a little too hard and the egg bounces off the left side of Rollins’ head. He yelps and the kids start to giggle and throw the eggs at Rollins a bit harder now, but he plays along acting now like a rabbit, then a duck, and then a rabbit again.
“Marshall what were you saying about being worth it?”
“No,” he says looking straight at me to make the point of the seriousness. “it is worth it but is there a reason for it all. I mean I work hard to write these deep meaning lyrics and the only thing that gets play is the same bubble gum crap. I try to educate the fan base but they all just act like sheep. Why? What is the reason for the fire in me to write real shit and he only thing that gets noticed is me riffing on the stupidity of it all and the insults I make towards other famous people.”
“What has this got to do with god?” I ask.
“Well if there is a god like you say and he has a purpose for me and I am fulfilling that purpose, then why do I still feel so empty and angry all the time?”
“Why are my real songs being ignored, why does it depress me about the shady, stealing shifty, fuckers that have latched on to me like a leeches.” He paused looking out over the small crowd of children.
The pause was so long that I thought he was done. And then he restarted
“If there was a god he would make my other stuff noticed and keep the suckers off my back. Right?”
“Well actually no.” I said already sorry for the answer before I could finish. “See the lord gave us all free will and so he can not make other people like your truer songs.”
“You are fulfilling your purpose. It seems that gods plan for you is to be a father better than your father, a performer that entertains and educates, and a voice for the many that are suffering poverty.”
“You are doing all these things. You should be happy and feel fulfilled.
“But I am not.” He sighed visibly frustrated.
“Then I would say you are guilty of something.” I said rather Harsly but he is a man he can handle the truth.
“WHAT?”
“Now it is my experience that if one is doing what one loves to do, then that person is happy, but if that person is not happy then they are guilty of something and in your case it would be your success.”
“What why would I be guilty of my success?” He said puzzled.
“You do not feel you are worth the admiration and accolades that are thrusted upon you. You feel that somewhere there was a point that you should have failed and stayed PWT. But here you are old fat and rich. You grew up fighting for everything and now everything is handed to you and you have all this fight left and no real channel for the energy.” I paused for this to sink in a bit.
“Dude, accept that you are successful, that you are old, you are fat, and you are rich. Accept that you have become all that you despised when you were young and relish in the fact that you can make positive changes in other people’s lives.”
“Is that why Henry is so happy?”
“Well henry is too dumb to be happy because he has never realized that he is old, fat, rich and irrelevant.” We laughed and watch him mock wrestle a stuffed panda bear.
“He still does not have that stupid bird bath and he is happy. I think that maybe he was behind the door when the brains were being handed out.”
Marshall smiled that evil smile he had when he was young.
“Thanks John you were a big help. So there really is a god?”
“Yes there is.” Staring into the sun behind his head. {Fucker}
“Are you sure?” Cocking his head to one side.
“Yes I am, he just told me to tell you to come by on Thursday.”
“Really? What happens on Thursday?
“Just some more education I think you deserve it you old fat man.
“Ha you are older than me John.” He smiled.
“And yet I am happier.” I smiled back to meet his
Marshall scooped up his kids and headed home.
Johnny Cash was playing gospel songs for the crowd. It was a nice day.
Henry came up covered in egg and candy with grass stains on his furry knees.
“Hey John, do you think the HOA will pay for he cleaning bill of my bunny suit?”
“No Henry they will not. They did not ask you to roll on the ground and act like a wounded war vet. They did not ask you to dress up as a bunny. You volunteered. Hey why do you have a bunny suit anyways?”
“My sexual preferences are none of your business.” He shot back in defiance and shame.
“Well you could have said ‘it was a charity thing you do’ but, now we all know you are a sick twisted, bird loving, old punker with little else to do but get kinky in a bunny suit.”
- 10:17 @Tekdiff LOL good stuff #
- 11:37 #freakangels just got a little deeper. the human side of living in groups just made it's way into paradise. let see them work with blood. #
- 11:38 Sorry that link is www.freakangels.com/?p=84 #
- 11:40 @malflic both both neither knows what they are talking about but they get treated like they speak the gospel. F* them and their sh't #
- 11:41 @malflic they will have a special place in hell being the sex slaves of rats and ticks. ha ha ha ha yeah that will teach them yeah! #
- 12:37 just leave the #octo-mom alone. why is this penis hating femnist attacking her. #CNN is like #TMZ now. #
- 12:39 @malflic of course because no travel means virtual meetings #
- 14:01 @IngenBio -.-. --- -. - .-. --- .-.. / .---- ..--- / .-.. . - / -- . / .... . .-.. .--. .-.-.- #
- 15:33 @drkiki yeah. but the lord will lose this time as the current trend is to kill god when ever given the chance #
- 18:00 @SteveIsaacs 'bout time they were the ugliest things to come out since Berkenstalks #
- 20:14 13 games of baseball this weekend. I am going down and will not be up for air until 7PM sunday. #
Fear is what keeps us civilized.
Fear is what keeps us civilized.
By Rev. John Sleestaxx
Fear of god's judgment
Fear of peer judgment
Fear of hell
Fear of no hell
Fear of god
Fear of no god
The fear of knowing that once this is all done and over we are all just meat to be consumed by the bugs and the bacteria in the ground.
So we go through life thinking about if I do this what will be the outcome?
But the human animals, the beasts, the mouth breathers, the sinners, the bankers and the pirates of this great world that was once a glorious place to be a part of have realized that they do not care about tomorrow or the outcome. It is about today and what can they steal from us, what harm can they do to us and what can they do for themselves.
These are the criminals that we allow to walk among us and we hide our eyes from their view because we are afraid of them and hope they pass us by and steal from our neighbor instead. We have let them run amuck and get too much control. We need to wrest the helm from these doers of ill and sin and take back what is ours. We shall start with our dignity and finish with a pound of flesh nearest their heart.
We shall say "NO MORE!" “You shall take no more! You shall leave our sight! You are banished to the outside. Leave our city and leave our lives. Go now and scratch your existence from the dirt and clay whence you came from.”
“Go now without your goods, your belongings, your coat and robes of wealth and ill gotten goods. Be known that your are now marked as a thief and you shall be treated as such. Let no man give you work and let no women feed you. See what you have wrought on the rest of the world and let god judge you for you have been judge and found not worthy to be human nor animal and not worth the wood to burn you as you deserve.
You beasts you criminals you evil men of industry pirates and privateers all of you. You all make me sick you all make me hate the human race again and again and again.
By Rev. John Sleestaxx
Fear of god's judgment
Fear of peer judgment
Fear of hell
Fear of no hell
Fear of god
Fear of no god
The fear of knowing that once this is all done and over we are all just meat to be consumed by the bugs and the bacteria in the ground.
So we go through life thinking about if I do this what will be the outcome?
But the human animals, the beasts, the mouth breathers, the sinners, the bankers and the pirates of this great world that was once a glorious place to be a part of have realized that they do not care about tomorrow or the outcome. It is about today and what can they steal from us, what harm can they do to us and what can they do for themselves.
These are the criminals that we allow to walk among us and we hide our eyes from their view because we are afraid of them and hope they pass us by and steal from our neighbor instead. We have let them run amuck and get too much control. We need to wrest the helm from these doers of ill and sin and take back what is ours. We shall start with our dignity and finish with a pound of flesh nearest their heart.
We shall say "NO MORE!" “You shall take no more! You shall leave our sight! You are banished to the outside. Leave our city and leave our lives. Go now and scratch your existence from the dirt and clay whence you came from.”
“Go now without your goods, your belongings, your coat and robes of wealth and ill gotten goods. Be known that your are now marked as a thief and you shall be treated as such. Let no man give you work and let no women feed you. See what you have wrought on the rest of the world and let god judge you for you have been judge and found not worthy to be human nor animal and not worth the wood to burn you as you deserve.
You beasts you criminals you evil men of industry pirates and privateers all of you. You all make me sick you all make me hate the human race again and again and again.
My Christmas season was quiet
My Christmas season was quiet
By Rev. john Sleestaxx
My note: There are times that I am told flat out do not post that until after the court date. Or this would be a very bad image for everyone involved.
Or the church’s contract restricts your post of that material.
After having the blood sucking vampires (not the emo Edward type) picked over this like mites pick the meat off of bones I was given the green light to post.
If you followed my twitter feed you got wind of some Christmas violence.
Self loathing mouth breathing sinners the entire lot should be placed in a large meat grinder and turned until there is no more whining and you can not tell the eyeballs from the adrenals.
I plunged head long into the fray in hopes to make it through the ordeal with only a few scars. I was not going to pick a fight and I had resolved that this year I would be more tolerant.
Incident #1
I had almost made it but then at the last hour I was hungry and in the "red zone"
I came across a kiosk type sales point I was thinking that hey my wife may enjoy a specialty gift of soap or moisturizer. You know something special to show how special she was and the sales lady bitch shoved a bar of lye soap under my nose.
I bit her hand. Plain and simple I just bit down and she screamed and I bit harder. It was funny at first I meant to bit like a lover would you know playfully on her thumb but like I said I was in the red zone and I got a holt of that hand and I bit down. There was no blood and I did not break the skin but she had to pull twice to get free.
Her sales mate ran over, and I just kept walking. Fucking bitch should not have touched me.
Incident #2
So here I was in wal-mart, I know I should not be shopping here and if I did not have a kid that wanted COD WAW I would have shopped at a mom and pop shop. I was walking by the toys and I heard little kids yelling and one crying.
If you have kids you this sound as the signal that they are 1.) Too hungry. 2.) too tired 3.) fucking screwed for the next 30 mins it takes to get them home and into bed.
I turned the corner on a long isle of toys and there was a dad type in camo tee shirt, and three kids also in camo tee shirts. One was about 2 and in the seat of the cart one was about 4 in the merchandise section of the cart and then there was the crier he was 6 and he was looking at the ceiling of the store wailing “please please”.
As I got closer I saw the dad type was pissed and ignoring the kid. And as I got 10 feet away he looked at me, got an embarrassed look on his face and bent over and grabbed the boy’s arm and shook hard. “ I told you to shut up!” I was now 6 feet away “listen you are giving me a head ache” now three feet away “this is why your dad left.” I brought my knee up into his face so fucking hard he did not even straighten out. In a 90ยบ shape he flipped back onto his back. The boy stopped with a mid scream stuck in his throat. The dad hit the floor with a wufff! And I kept walking to the electronic department. Found the glass doors open grabbed the WAW case and left to purchase the damn thing.
At the register line I end up behind dad and his kids. No one is crying, no one was yelling.
The 6 year old looked at me, looked at his dad, tugged his dad’s arm and pointed at me. The dad turned, looked at me, and smiled a nervous smile and said, “hey about back there, I just want to…” “no do not mention anything” I cut him off.
“But I want to..” he said.
“no listen it is a terrible season, the economy is pooched and the corporate fuckers are just laughing at the rest of us.” And I turned to go to another line.
“Hey you big dummy you hurt my dad.”
I turned and smiled at the boy “ho ho ho” I laughed “merry Christmas. Son merry Christmas.”
By Rev. john Sleestaxx
My note: There are times that I am told flat out do not post that until after the court date. Or this would be a very bad image for everyone involved.
Or the church’s contract restricts your post of that material.
After having the blood sucking vampires (not the emo Edward type) picked over this like mites pick the meat off of bones I was given the green light to post.
If you followed my twitter feed you got wind of some Christmas violence.
Self loathing mouth breathing sinners the entire lot should be placed in a large meat grinder and turned until there is no more whining and you can not tell the eyeballs from the adrenals.
I plunged head long into the fray in hopes to make it through the ordeal with only a few scars. I was not going to pick a fight and I had resolved that this year I would be more tolerant.
Incident #1
I had almost made it but then at the last hour I was hungry and in the "red zone"
I came across a kiosk type sales point I was thinking that hey my wife may enjoy a specialty gift of soap or moisturizer. You know something special to show how special she was and the sales lady bitch shoved a bar of lye soap under my nose.
I bit her hand. Plain and simple I just bit down and she screamed and I bit harder. It was funny at first I meant to bit like a lover would you know playfully on her thumb but like I said I was in the red zone and I got a holt of that hand and I bit down. There was no blood and I did not break the skin but she had to pull twice to get free.
Her sales mate ran over, and I just kept walking. Fucking bitch should not have touched me.
Incident #2
So here I was in wal-mart, I know I should not be shopping here and if I did not have a kid that wanted COD WAW I would have shopped at a mom and pop shop. I was walking by the toys and I heard little kids yelling and one crying.
If you have kids you this sound as the signal that they are 1.) Too hungry. 2.) too tired 3.) fucking screwed for the next 30 mins it takes to get them home and into bed.
I turned the corner on a long isle of toys and there was a dad type in camo tee shirt, and three kids also in camo tee shirts. One was about 2 and in the seat of the cart one was about 4 in the merchandise section of the cart and then there was the crier he was 6 and he was looking at the ceiling of the store wailing “please please”.
As I got closer I saw the dad type was pissed and ignoring the kid. And as I got 10 feet away he looked at me, got an embarrassed look on his face and bent over and grabbed the boy’s arm and shook hard. “ I told you to shut up!” I was now 6 feet away “listen you are giving me a head ache” now three feet away “this is why your dad left.” I brought my knee up into his face so fucking hard he did not even straighten out. In a 90ยบ shape he flipped back onto his back. The boy stopped with a mid scream stuck in his throat. The dad hit the floor with a wufff! And I kept walking to the electronic department. Found the glass doors open grabbed the WAW case and left to purchase the damn thing.
At the register line I end up behind dad and his kids. No one is crying, no one was yelling.
The 6 year old looked at me, looked at his dad, tugged his dad’s arm and pointed at me. The dad turned, looked at me, and smiled a nervous smile and said, “hey about back there, I just want to…” “no do not mention anything” I cut him off.
“But I want to..” he said.
“no listen it is a terrible season, the economy is pooched and the corporate fuckers are just laughing at the rest of us.” And I turned to go to another line.
“Hey you big dummy you hurt my dad.”
I turned and smiled at the boy “ho ho ho” I laughed “merry Christmas. Son merry Christmas.”
Inauguration Prayer
I wrote this months ago in case I was asked to give the inauguration prayer
Inauguration Prayer
By Rev. John Sleestaxx
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. - Ezekiel 25:17
Oh lord I know I am not your son Jesus but I do know I am your favorite. How much longer do I have to endure the agony of these whinny sinners?
Oh lord dear god our god on high how long do I have to temper my frustration and rage for these blasphemers and pirates of industry, these fascists of economics and slave traders of banking.
When oh dear lord will you make them pay for their sins and their transgressions on their fellow man. When dear lord will they be shown the way to my door? So that I may start them on the long painful path of retribution and penance?
I am ready lord oh dear god I am ready. I have been training my whole life for this moment this monumental beating for this baptism I know their my be some blood shed I know there will be tears of shame and joy but in the end these agents of Satan will see the light and they will be over come with the joy that your light brings and they will be repentant.
I am just saying it is time, it is time to put you humble servant, your most sharpest tool to work.
Dear god coach, put me in, I will carry this rag tag lot of mouth breathers to glory.
But I am here to open this ceremony for the new president.
The Americans have chosen their champion for the next four years.
Please lord protect this man as he fights for me, he fights for all Americans and he fights to spread Christian beliefs across the globe to the corners of the sinful world. He will be the chosen one to force these beliefs unto the unwashed masses fore their own good mind you.
Forget that I question his sexual preference (not that there is anything wrong with that). Forget that some of his beliefs ring of communism? Which is fine since Christianity will be included in these laws of man.
Please guide his hand as he signs and does not Sign the laws of man.
Guide us and him.
Temper his heart in the case we are attacked so that his head is clear when he decides how to act in regards of protecting our beloved homeland building that was built on the backs of outcasts from all walks of life.
Please keep his eye sharp ad his aim is true in regards to piloting this ship of thieves, pirates, and sinners that we call the united states of america.
Please help him separate the chafe (cheaters) from the wheat (good people of this county) when fixing the convoluted fucked up mess of this economy.
Help him beat the retards and liars of the house into remembering why the fuck they are there in the first fucking place like you help me beat the non-believers into seeing your glorious light.
Remember this is their champion their leader to which all eyes are on and all are looking for guidance and leadership.
We are preparing to do battle in your name. These blasphemers we are about to face are right now talking evil about your humble servants, Lord. We are now going to do your will, we are now going out onto the field of war and kick their asses Lord, oh yes we are going to kick their asses. We are going to beat the snot out of them. So that they will know that you are the true Lord, the righteous Lord, and because we will let them live they will know that you are a fair and kind Lord.
We now embark on a righteous path to your glory. We carry you name and strength in our hearts. We are to be victorious in your name Lord. We are to beat and stomp the shit out of our opponents, Lord. We will tattoo your name in their buttocks as we kick them down the field.
And when they have realized their loss they will be sorry they opposed you Lord they will utter pleas of forgiveness and repentance. They will ask you to take them back into your fold and let them suckle on you generosity and forgiveness.
The heathens and the unwashed have challenged your word and your will. They have stepped onto our field. They have defiled the sacred ground that was blessed by you Lord. Right now Lord they speak terrible untruths and blasphemous accusations about you humble servants. They say we are not worthy of being champions, they say you are not with us Lord. Help us to show them the path Lord, help us show them the error of their ways, let us be your muscle and your sinew. Lets us deliver your punishment to the evil that is our competition, Lord.
Let us carry your word with our strength and our hearts. Let us shine with your glory that is so bright that the evil that opposes us will be blinded. Let your voice be so loud that the sinners that are the other team be deafened from your word. Let those that came to watch your servants perform your will on this field be proud of us like you are proud of us now.
Though our win Lord, the blasphemers and the unrighteous will see you your strength and your might, and they will bow and beg forgiveness. For on this day Lord through you we will be victorious and we will be the champions you made us.
Inauguration Prayer
By Rev. John Sleestaxx
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. - Ezekiel 25:17
Oh lord I know I am not your son Jesus but I do know I am your favorite. How much longer do I have to endure the agony of these whinny sinners?
Oh lord dear god our god on high how long do I have to temper my frustration and rage for these blasphemers and pirates of industry, these fascists of economics and slave traders of banking.
When oh dear lord will you make them pay for their sins and their transgressions on their fellow man. When dear lord will they be shown the way to my door? So that I may start them on the long painful path of retribution and penance?
I am ready lord oh dear god I am ready. I have been training my whole life for this moment this monumental beating for this baptism I know their my be some blood shed I know there will be tears of shame and joy but in the end these agents of Satan will see the light and they will be over come with the joy that your light brings and they will be repentant.
I am just saying it is time, it is time to put you humble servant, your most sharpest tool to work.
Dear god coach, put me in, I will carry this rag tag lot of mouth breathers to glory.
But I am here to open this ceremony for the new president.
The Americans have chosen their champion for the next four years.
Please lord protect this man as he fights for me, he fights for all Americans and he fights to spread Christian beliefs across the globe to the corners of the sinful world. He will be the chosen one to force these beliefs unto the unwashed masses fore their own good mind you.
Forget that I question his sexual preference (not that there is anything wrong with that). Forget that some of his beliefs ring of communism? Which is fine since Christianity will be included in these laws of man.
Please guide his hand as he signs and does not Sign the laws of man.
Guide us and him.
Temper his heart in the case we are attacked so that his head is clear when he decides how to act in regards of protecting our beloved homeland building that was built on the backs of outcasts from all walks of life.
Please keep his eye sharp ad his aim is true in regards to piloting this ship of thieves, pirates, and sinners that we call the united states of america.
Please help him separate the chafe (cheaters) from the wheat (good people of this county) when fixing the convoluted fucked up mess of this economy.
Help him beat the retards and liars of the house into remembering why the fuck they are there in the first fucking place like you help me beat the non-believers into seeing your glorious light.
Remember this is their champion their leader to which all eyes are on and all are looking for guidance and leadership.
We are preparing to do battle in your name. These blasphemers we are about to face are right now talking evil about your humble servants, Lord. We are now going to do your will, we are now going out onto the field of war and kick their asses Lord, oh yes we are going to kick their asses. We are going to beat the snot out of them. So that they will know that you are the true Lord, the righteous Lord, and because we will let them live they will know that you are a fair and kind Lord.
We now embark on a righteous path to your glory. We carry you name and strength in our hearts. We are to be victorious in your name Lord. We are to beat and stomp the shit out of our opponents, Lord. We will tattoo your name in their buttocks as we kick them down the field.
And when they have realized their loss they will be sorry they opposed you Lord they will utter pleas of forgiveness and repentance. They will ask you to take them back into your fold and let them suckle on you generosity and forgiveness.
The heathens and the unwashed have challenged your word and your will. They have stepped onto our field. They have defiled the sacred ground that was blessed by you Lord. Right now Lord they speak terrible untruths and blasphemous accusations about you humble servants. They say we are not worthy of being champions, they say you are not with us Lord. Help us to show them the path Lord, help us show them the error of their ways, let us be your muscle and your sinew. Lets us deliver your punishment to the evil that is our competition, Lord.
Let us carry your word with our strength and our hearts. Let us shine with your glory that is so bright that the evil that opposes us will be blinded. Let your voice be so loud that the sinners that are the other team be deafened from your word. Let those that came to watch your servants perform your will on this field be proud of us like you are proud of us now.
Though our win Lord, the blasphemers and the unrighteous will see you your strength and your might, and they will bow and beg forgiveness. For on this day Lord through you we will be victorious and we will be the champions you made us.
Death predictions for 2009
Death predictions for 2009
Many of you will remember the gift I was given last year. The two spirit guides Rajkumar and Izumi Sarkaio Well they were chatting up a freaking storm in my head on the first. At first I thought it was my blood rushing into my eye sockets and I contemplated jabbing a fork or a knife to stem the screaming and pain. But then I was given flashes and images and I figured out what the headache was.
It was Raj telling me who was going to die in 2009. Not just the famous ones but EVERY ONE, by name.
Man that bastard can sure talk fast.
Entertainment Celebrities
Sharron Osborne I can not say why other than her loss would be a very said story for the entire world and the other Osbornes would be expected. She has always been a ray of sunshine and hope for every person she has every been filmed talking about. So much so it makes me ill when she is voting talent off the stage. Sharron, just tell them that they suck and be done with it! Stop telling them how they could suck less.
Margot Kidder Just because it is time for her to escape and get hit by a tourist bus on the Los Angeles Express way
Brittany Spears This is just a train wreck and I am hedging my bet is all.
Lars Ulrich Just wishful thinking. (@larsulrich whine some more you foreign queer)
Rush Limbaugh It won’t be the oxycodone demons or his private fetishes that will claim him, nor will it be a car accident on a back road in Rio Linda. It will be the were-wolves that eat him alive while he trapped in his Lexus with an 18 year strawberry and a 5 year old box of Twinkies.
Jeff Conaway Have you seen this zombie? Sheesh! Maybe he will do a zombie version of Grease first. OOOOH that sounds kind of do-able. I get 2.5% of gross payable to my paypal account [cwtstraydog-splat-yahoo.com].
Warren Ellis He will either swallow his own ego in his sleep and choke to death or he will swallow his own penis and choke to death I just can’t tell right now.
In Business
Warren Buffett and the sad thing is I think he knows too.
Michael Capellas Satan only gives your soul so many extensions before he comes to claim what is his.
Jeffrey K. Skilling his prison husband will catch him in another cell and toss his salad for the last time. His husband will then create many fake inmates to hide the death from prison officials.
Alan Greenspan will commit suicide. His note will read “@world LOL”
Alfonso John Romero Will be working a temp warehouse job and be crushed under a palate of PS3’s when the forklift driver is trying to get “Doom” to run on his iPhone.
Disclaimer: So I have decided to post a list of death predictions for 2009. Please note all attorneys and FBI Agent types these are for humor and entertainment only. These are in no way a threat, a promise, a plan, or a hit list. They are just predictions for entertainment purposes only.
Many of you will remember the gift I was given last year. The two spirit guides Rajkumar and Izumi Sarkaio Well they were chatting up a freaking storm in my head on the first. At first I thought it was my blood rushing into my eye sockets and I contemplated jabbing a fork or a knife to stem the screaming and pain. But then I was given flashes and images and I figured out what the headache was.
It was Raj telling me who was going to die in 2009. Not just the famous ones but EVERY ONE, by name.
Man that bastard can sure talk fast.
Entertainment Celebrities
Sharron Osborne I can not say why other than her loss would be a very said story for the entire world and the other Osbornes would be expected. She has always been a ray of sunshine and hope for every person she has every been filmed talking about. So much so it makes me ill when she is voting talent off the stage. Sharron, just tell them that they suck and be done with it! Stop telling them how they could suck less.
Margot Kidder Just because it is time for her to escape and get hit by a tourist bus on the Los Angeles Express way
Brittany Spears This is just a train wreck and I am hedging my bet is all.
Lars Ulrich Just wishful thinking. (@larsulrich whine some more you foreign queer)
Rush Limbaugh It won’t be the oxycodone demons or his private fetishes that will claim him, nor will it be a car accident on a back road in Rio Linda. It will be the were-wolves that eat him alive while he trapped in his Lexus with an 18 year strawberry and a 5 year old box of Twinkies.
Jeff Conaway Have you seen this zombie? Sheesh! Maybe he will do a zombie version of Grease first. OOOOH that sounds kind of do-able. I get 2.5% of gross payable to my paypal account [cwtstraydog-splat-yahoo.com].
Warren Ellis He will either swallow his own ego in his sleep and choke to death or he will swallow his own penis and choke to death I just can’t tell right now.
In Business
Warren Buffett and the sad thing is I think he knows too.
Michael Capellas Satan only gives your soul so many extensions before he comes to claim what is his.
Jeffrey K. Skilling his prison husband will catch him in another cell and toss his salad for the last time. His husband will then create many fake inmates to hide the death from prison officials.
Alan Greenspan will commit suicide. His note will read “@world LOL”
Alfonso John Romero Will be working a temp warehouse job and be crushed under a palate of PS3’s when the forklift driver is trying to get “Doom” to run on his iPhone.
Disclaimer: So I have decided to post a list of death predictions for 2009. Please note all attorneys and FBI Agent types these are for humor and entertainment only. These are in no way a threat, a promise, a plan, or a hit list. They are just predictions for entertainment purposes only.
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