Death predictions for 2009

Death predictions for 2009

Many of you will remember the gift I was given last year. The two spirit guides Rajkumar and Izumi Sarkaio Well they were chatting up a freaking storm in my head on the first. At first I thought it was my blood rushing into my eye sockets and I contemplated jabbing a fork or a knife to stem the screaming and pain. But then I was given flashes and images and I figured out what the headache was.
It was Raj telling me who was going to die in 2009. Not just the famous ones but EVERY ONE, by name.
Man that bastard can sure talk fast.


Entertainment Celebrities

Sharron Osborne I can not say why other than her loss would be a very said story for the entire world and the other Osbornes would be expected. She has always been a ray of sunshine and hope for every person she has every been filmed talking about. So much so it makes me ill when she is voting talent off the stage. Sharron, just tell them that they suck and be done with it! Stop telling them how they could suck less.

Margot Kidder Just because it is time for her to escape and get hit by a tourist bus on the Los Angeles Express way

Brittany Spears This is just a train wreck and I am hedging my bet is all.

Lars Ulrich Just wishful thinking. (@larsulrich whine some more you foreign queer)

Rush Limbaugh It won’t be the oxycodone demons or his private fetishes that will claim him, nor will it be a car accident on a back road in Rio Linda. It will be the were-wolves that eat him alive while he trapped in his Lexus with an 18 year strawberry and a 5 year old box of Twinkies.

Jeff Conaway Have you seen this zombie? Sheesh! Maybe he will do a zombie version of Grease first. OOOOH that sounds kind of do-able. I get 2.5% of gross payable to my paypal account [cwtstraydog-splat-yahoo.com].

Warren Ellis He will either swallow his own ego in his sleep and choke to death or he will swallow his own penis and choke to death I just can’t tell right now.


In Business

Warren Buffett and the sad thing is I think he knows too.

Michael Capellas Satan only gives your soul so many extensions before he comes to claim what is his.

Jeffrey K. Skilling his prison husband will catch him in another cell and toss his salad for the last time. His husband will then create many fake inmates to hide the death from prison officials.

Alan Greenspan will commit suicide. His note will read “@world LOL”

Alfonso John Romero Will be working a temp warehouse job and be crushed under a palate of PS3’s when the forklift driver is trying to get “Doom” to run on his iPhone.

Disclaimer: So I have decided to post a list of death predictions for 2009. Please note all attorneys and FBI Agent types these are for humor and entertainment only. These are in no way a threat, a promise, a plan, or a hit list. They are just predictions for entertainment purposes only.