Gog and Magog

Gog and Magog
By Rev. John Sleestaxx

The lord looked down from the heavens and saw the Wal-Mart’s, the baseball parents, the evil corporate leaders and the two faced banking pirates, economic raiders, and insurance privateers. And he wept from the sorrow that was more than the heavens could bear.
And then god looked down upon the world he witness such great greed that he shed a tear for the captains of industry and the heads of corporations. He saw the leaders of banks and economies and an emotion of anger came upon him so strong that he became enraged.
So the sadness over flowed into the Great Reverend Sleestaxx and that much sadness burned his soul and made him mad with anger and rage.
The great reverend began to sermonize and preach about the anger and rage that lived in his soul.
But was not enough for the lord he was too angry, he was too hurt, he was just plain pissed off.
He witnessed great leaders of multitudes of Huumans rubbing themselves on everything they came across and the rubbing created such a strong lustful passion that the great leaders smelled the musty lust of one another and they too became enflamed and they too began to rub and grind on one another. And the children witnessed the sex and began mating with Huumans and animals and members of the same sex. The fornication enraged the lord and he struck down upon the fornicators and sinners with great malice and might. Like a column of fire from the sky the lord destroyed the cities and churches and places of sex worship. God became disgusted and disappointed with us. God gave up on us.
God turned his back on us and let us fall victim to Gog and Magog.
The ailing and crying and the blasphemous prayers is what woke the great lords Gog and Magog. These two vile lords were nothing more than glorified demons that did the dirty evil work that god and Jesus can not do.
They are thing one and thing two for the heavens.
Gog and Magog winked against the mortal sunlight. On the winds they smelled prospering mortals and the riches of many kings.
But it was the smell of decadence and evil debauchery that warmed their skin from the millions or years of sleep. They looked to the west and saw the gleaming multitudes of rich kings and wasted opportunities. They could see the on the horizon the resources squandered and they could taste the sweet candy of oppression.
Gog said to Magog “Well I guess the lord is tired of these mortals. Oh great lord what is it you wants us to do to the mortals?
And the lord spoke "these mortal Huumans have bored me to no end it is time to reformat and reinstall once again.
Yes I too can smell the wasted lives and the down trodden of the masses. Do you wish to devour them like so many millennia ago?
No lets us make them pay for their greed and corruption. I want you to eat their last remaining resources. Let us force noting upon them.
Let us make them see what their greed has wrought.
Yes oh great lord.
And so Gog and Magog set upon the human race with a thirst and hunger never witnessed by mortal man yet.
Gog went to the east and Magog went to the west. They devoured everything in sight but leaving the mortals untouched. Like a thief in the night Gog and Magog began to devour everything the Huumans created and everything the Huumans needed. They devoured the luxuries and the needs. They ate the porn and they drank the seas, fishes and all.
Gog and Magog swooped down for the hills and ravaged the remains of the human race like scavengers or wild dogs.
Gog and Magog crunched the bones of men and children alike. They feasted on the innards and entrails. Gog and Magog raped the women and then ate the unborn children they created. Gog and Magog feasted and destroyed much of the lands of the Huumans. They caused much fear across the face of the earth. And soon the remaining Huumans began to leave sacrifices and offerings at the gates of the cites in hopes that Gog and Magog would pass them by and spare them. Soon there became men that claimed that they could talk to Gog and Magog and they demanded the men and women to pay tribute to them so that they could administer the sacrifices and offerings in a way that would please the great gods Gog and Magog.
And so soon Gog and Magog became figures for the Huumans to respect worship and fear. Gog and Magog began to spare certain cities and Gog and Magog began to think they were gods. They began to believe the Huumans and their propaganda.
They began to demand that great temples and edifices be erected in their likenesses. They began to devour only the ones that would defy them. They began to describe themselves to each other as gods as immortals as beings of worship and power.
One day Gog decided that Magog was less a god than him and he demanded that Magog supplicant submit and prostrate himself to Gog.
Magog also felt at the same time that he was the more powerful of the two and thought Gog spoke heresy. And the two began to fight then the fight turned to war. Divisions between the Huumans began. One group in the east began to worship just Gog and villainies Magog.
And the same happened in the west with Magog.
So now the Huumans had new gods and Satans and a new reason to war. And Gog and Magog were too distracted to continue their mission from god to devourer the human race.
The new religions and wars gave new purpose to the Huumans and they stopped their decadent behavior and began to focus on quality of life and creating a word that pleased Gog in the east and Magog in the west.
God looked down because the quiet nature of the earth captured his attention. God looked down from the heavens and saw that the Huumans had forgotten him and worshipped Gog and Magog. He was angry, and when he realized that Gog and Magog thought they were gods he became enraged again.
Damn you Huumans and your detractor ways. Damn you Huumans and your sinning and your corrupting forked tongues. You have not only turned your back on me but you now worship the very things that I sent down upon you in the first place.
Then a voice rose up to the heavens; “do not forsake us lord for we are but children who are spoiled and mischievous.” We know you when you speak to us but when you are away we are distracted and disjointed. We let our genitals lead us and our hearts can not love when our genitals are engorged so.
Please take Gog and Magog away and spare us like you have in the past.
No
Yes oh lord, listen to your humble servant when I tell you that we do love you we are just stupid animals who forget from where we came.
Oh Great Reverend Sleestaxx I know you are truly talking for everyone but I tire of the Huumans and their fickle ways.
No lord gives us another chance.
Oh alright but this is the last chance.
The world owes you a great many thanks John Sleestaxx a great many thanks.
You all hear that? I want the sacrifices over here and the tributes over there and all statues in my honor to resemble me in my younger years.