Celebrity Death Predictions 2013

So every year I post a list of 10 or so possible public figures that may pass during the year and sometimes I am right and sometimes I am wrong.

This year’s list is;

Lindsay Lohan: Bet hedging This is a hot mess waiting to be a multicar pileup on the Los Angeles expressway at 6:00p on a Monday no less.

Brittany Spears: Every year this train wreck approaches the abyss and for some reason or another she pulls out. This is a tradition since I started this annual post.

Betty White: Her age and the fact that everyone loves her will be such a devastating blow to all of us. "Like a candle in the wind"

George Bush: Well crap! Someone has to say it, we are due for a dead president and because of his recent illness he appears to be the best candidate. I know we all wish for another but sorry I am going with this one.

Warren Ellis: His health is failing and his work ethic will not let him take time off to mend properly. not to mention this is also the year of the asshole. I am also predicting some sort of genital fungus infection from a late season pumpkin.

Piers Morgan: This is the one I want! Just because I want to be right just once and be happy about it. more like a prayer then a prediction.

Justin Assange: Will be assassinated like Aaron Swartz and we will find it is Kevin Mitnick doing the attacks over the internet. Yeah get out your aluminum hats.

Chitrangda Singh: Because of her work in Bollywood and recent announcement that she is willing to do adult films makes her a perfect martyr for a caste set of entertainers.

Hulk Hogan: Have you seen this man? it is like aliens have been sucking the very life from him. It is only a matter of time before they slurp the bottom of the cup and go "oops".

Al gore: This one is really funny. I am told (by my spiritual guardians) that he is going succumb to heat stroke while talking about global warming and the evils of strip mining in Alaska. Or his plane goes down after spewing dead dinosaur fumes across the globe preaching about the danger of fossil fuels.

Michael Capellas: This escapee from the short bus just ditched is bicycle helmet and stumbled into a board room. It is only a matter of time before the business world realises he his grifting with a game of three card Monte and they all burn him at the stake like the evil, demon humping witch that he is. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Mark Hurd: While the country is underwater in monetary debt, this bitch dog fucker waste of human skin is morally and ethically underwater too and Satan is about to accelerate the debt and foreclose on his ass. So there you go bitch, suck on that while your toes burn in the eternal flames of Hell!