Anti meat eaters
I understand that you may not like the texture of meat. I understand that you may not like the feeling of chewing meat.
But to propagandize the fairness in eating non-human animals is too much!
God gave us all sharp teeth when he designed us.
We are meat eaters it was so divined in the beginning of time and space. From the moment the bacteria evolved into something then into us it was decided that we were to eat meat.
God meant us to be dominating of all the animals that is why he made us in his image
Gen 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness, so they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move on the earth.”
Gen 1:27 God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.
We are at the top of the food chain. Now I will admit that god's design did not account for fossil fuels and the like but hey at some point the design of the earth will kick in and we will be culled to a more manageable level. There is nothing that we need to do about that. It will take of itself.
But this site irks me.'
They speak of fairness to animas that if you smacked on the head would forget about it two minutes later. They were design to be food for us and the rest of the planet.
Here you go.
If humans eating animals is wrong then why do other animals eat other animals and why is that not wrong.
Simple.
Answer that and I may put my burger down.
Showing posts with label drunkards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drunkards. Show all posts
Court testimony and the law of god. By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
You are being sued for the injuries that sustain form encounter with the plaintiff
The plaintiff alleges that you assaulted him without provocation and that this assault caused injuries and the arrest of the plaintiff.
The plaintiff further states that the injuries prevented him form gainful employment and the ability to generate an income.
The plaintiff seeks fifty thousand dollars for medical bills and the loss of income, the plaintiff also asks the court to award another fifty thousand dollars for pain and suffering form the attack and humiliation of the arrest.
Mr Sleestaxx would you wish to make a statement?
Your honor, the plaintiff was caught in the act of breaking to my vehicle. At The moment that I approached the plaintiff he was inside my vehicle.
To say our encounter was without provocation is a prevarication.
Second Peter 2:3
And in their greed they will exploit you with deceptive words. Their condemnation pronounced long ago is not sitting idly by; their destruction is not asleep.
My personal possessions were found on his person. He stood and attacked me with a weapon and injured me. I have a knife wound on my arm form the encounter
Judge Shipley: Is the wound still visible?
Yes it is.
Judge Shipley: Will you please approach the bench so that the wound can be witnessed.
Yes you honor
Judge Shipley: Yes that is a serious wound.
Judge Shipley: Are sure that the plaintiff is responsible for the wound?
Yes the knife was recovered by the officers.
Your honor the bible states
PSA 74:3 Hurry and look at the permanent ruins,
and all the damage the enemy has done to the temple!
And Psalms 74:6 reads And now they are tearing down all its engravings with axes and crowbars.
I saw him pop the lock and damage my vehicle
Rev 9:21
Furthermore, they did not repent of their murders, of their magic spells, of their sexual immorality, or of their stealing.
He was riffling through my personal items. I tried to stop him and he became violent and tried to attack me. I just wanted him to stay there for the police to arrest for the damage and attempted theft of my property.
Psa 37:30
The godly speak wise words and promote justice.
Psa 37:28
For the Lord promotes justice, and never abandons his faithful followers. They are permanently secure, but the children of evil men are wiped out.
Jer 37:14
Jeremiah answered, “That’s a lie! I am not deserting to the Babylonians.” But Irijah would not listen to him. Irijah put Jeremiah under arrest and took him to the officials.
I witnessed him breaking into my car and entering it I approached him and attempted to subdue him for the police but he resisted and tried to get away. In the midsts of trying to get away he stabbed me in the arm. During my defense I had to use more force to protect my life and to subdue him for the police. I never tried to exert more than I felt I had to.
Mr. Sleestaxx due to the fact that the plaintiff states in the suit that he was arrested and pled guilty to the vehicle burglary and the past history of this gentleman I am going to dismiss this case and suggest that you bring a case against him for the damage to your vehicle and the injuries that you sustained.
No your honor the bible also states;
Psa 7:17
I will thank the Lord for his justice; I will sing praises to the sovereign Lord!
and in
Psa 36:6
Your justice is like the highest mountains, your fairness like the deepest sea; you preserve mankind and the animal kingdom.
The bible also speaks of the poor and needy
Pro 22:22
Do not exploit a poor person because he is poor and do not crush the needy in court,
I am sure that he was performing the crime because he was needy.
Jer 22:3
The Lord says, “Do what is just and right. Deliver those who have been robbed form those who oppress them. Do not exploit or mistreat foreigners who live in your land, children who have no fathers, or widows. Do not kill innocent people in this land.
Deu 25:2
Then, if the guilty person is sentenced to a beating, the judge shall force him to lie down and be beaten in his presence with the number of blows his wicked behavior deserves.
I will ask you your honor that instead of another law suit tie up your valuable time that maybe during his incarceration he be brought to my church on Thursday for counseling and baptisms. Now although we call them baptisms they are more like physical counseling and behavior therapy. We believe that sometimes behavior therapy is needed and that many counseling hours are needed to bring the unbelievers around to the path of righteousness. Even if he chooses to not follow gods plan for him and decide not to believe in god I believe the therapy will be good for him.
Psa 28:5
For they do not understand the Lord’s actions, or the way he carries out justice. The Lord will permanently demolish them.
Psa 33:5
The Lord promotes equity and justice; the Lord’s faithfulness extends throughout the earth.
That all of god’s children are in need of second chances. I believe that we may be able to reach this young man and bring him around to see the error of his ways and to be a model citizen. We can call some of the time community service as I can use the extra help around the church.
That sounds like a good idea. And if this is successful maybe you can start a new rehabilitation program for my district.
Oh your honor flatters me. I do not know if I can help this one lost soul let alone have the time to attend to the entire jail and to my congregation. Let us just see how this time with this individual works out.
So on Thursdays we will have an exhibition baptism for 10 mines every hour. Between sessions the nice young gentleman will be assisting in the construction of the youth center.
If you have not been by in a while you might want to come by for this. You do not need to commit a sin to come down. You can just come down for a round or two for fun and just some extra education.
Psa 40:10
I have not failed to tell about your justice; I spoke about your reliability and deliverance; I have not neglected to tell the great assembly about your loyal love and faithfulness.
Psa 9:16
The Lord revealed himself; he accomplished justice; the wicked were ensnared by their own actions.
Psa 40:9
I have told the great assembly about your justice. Look! I spare no words! O Lord, you know this is true.
Now at some point the judge may decide that the work done here is too extreme and decide to remove the youth form the program. Until then i encourage everybody to come one down and witness me saving this little turds souls every Thursday form 6:00am to 6:00pm as well as those in our midst that need and want the savings too.
Psa 35:24
Vindicate me by your justice, O Lord my God! Do not let them gloat over me!
Psa 35:28
Then I will tell others about your justice, and praise you all day long.
Coffee, soft drinks and cookies are in the foyer. While you are all gathering and socializing I am going to get into the parking lot and witness to the first person to honk his horn.
I have repeatedly told you all that the members in the parking lot are your family members but you all seem to forget.
So honk and you will receive a special Sunday dose on my salvation.
The teen minister has announced that he is engaged and will be taking a position at a church closer to his fiancée’s family. I will miss him as he is the first to get a knock down. many of you all remember that epic battle when the church first moved into a building instead of a tent.
Go in peace and feel free to honk today.
Psa 45:4
Appear in your majesty and be victorious! Ride forth for the sake of what is right, on behalf of justice! Then your right hand will accomplish mighty acts!
The plaintiff alleges that you assaulted him without provocation and that this assault caused injuries and the arrest of the plaintiff.
The plaintiff further states that the injuries prevented him form gainful employment and the ability to generate an income.
The plaintiff seeks fifty thousand dollars for medical bills and the loss of income, the plaintiff also asks the court to award another fifty thousand dollars for pain and suffering form the attack and humiliation of the arrest.
Mr Sleestaxx would you wish to make a statement?
Your honor, the plaintiff was caught in the act of breaking to my vehicle. At The moment that I approached the plaintiff he was inside my vehicle.
To say our encounter was without provocation is a prevarication.
Second Peter 2:3
And in their greed they will exploit you with deceptive words. Their condemnation pronounced long ago is not sitting idly by; their destruction is not asleep.
My personal possessions were found on his person. He stood and attacked me with a weapon and injured me. I have a knife wound on my arm form the encounter
Judge Shipley: Is the wound still visible?
Yes it is.
Judge Shipley: Will you please approach the bench so that the wound can be witnessed.
Yes you honor
Judge Shipley: Yes that is a serious wound.
Judge Shipley: Are sure that the plaintiff is responsible for the wound?
Yes the knife was recovered by the officers.
Your honor the bible states
PSA 74:3 Hurry and look at the permanent ruins,
and all the damage the enemy has done to the temple!
And Psalms 74:6 reads And now they are tearing down all its engravings with axes and crowbars.
I saw him pop the lock and damage my vehicle
Rev 9:21
Furthermore, they did not repent of their murders, of their magic spells, of their sexual immorality, or of their stealing.
He was riffling through my personal items. I tried to stop him and he became violent and tried to attack me. I just wanted him to stay there for the police to arrest for the damage and attempted theft of my property.
Psa 37:30
The godly speak wise words and promote justice.
Psa 37:28
For the Lord promotes justice, and never abandons his faithful followers. They are permanently secure, but the children of evil men are wiped out.
Jer 37:14
Jeremiah answered, “That’s a lie! I am not deserting to the Babylonians.” But Irijah would not listen to him. Irijah put Jeremiah under arrest and took him to the officials.
I witnessed him breaking into my car and entering it I approached him and attempted to subdue him for the police but he resisted and tried to get away. In the midsts of trying to get away he stabbed me in the arm. During my defense I had to use more force to protect my life and to subdue him for the police. I never tried to exert more than I felt I had to.
Mr. Sleestaxx due to the fact that the plaintiff states in the suit that he was arrested and pled guilty to the vehicle burglary and the past history of this gentleman I am going to dismiss this case and suggest that you bring a case against him for the damage to your vehicle and the injuries that you sustained.
No your honor the bible also states;
Psa 7:17
I will thank the Lord for his justice; I will sing praises to the sovereign Lord!
and in
Psa 36:6
Your justice is like the highest mountains, your fairness like the deepest sea; you preserve mankind and the animal kingdom.
The bible also speaks of the poor and needy
Pro 22:22
Do not exploit a poor person because he is poor and do not crush the needy in court,
I am sure that he was performing the crime because he was needy.
Jer 22:3
The Lord says, “Do what is just and right. Deliver those who have been robbed form those who oppress them. Do not exploit or mistreat foreigners who live in your land, children who have no fathers, or widows. Do not kill innocent people in this land.
Deu 25:2
Then, if the guilty person is sentenced to a beating, the judge shall force him to lie down and be beaten in his presence with the number of blows his wicked behavior deserves.
I will ask you your honor that instead of another law suit tie up your valuable time that maybe during his incarceration he be brought to my church on Thursday for counseling and baptisms. Now although we call them baptisms they are more like physical counseling and behavior therapy. We believe that sometimes behavior therapy is needed and that many counseling hours are needed to bring the unbelievers around to the path of righteousness. Even if he chooses to not follow gods plan for him and decide not to believe in god I believe the therapy will be good for him.
Psa 28:5
For they do not understand the Lord’s actions, or the way he carries out justice. The Lord will permanently demolish them.
Psa 33:5
The Lord promotes equity and justice; the Lord’s faithfulness extends throughout the earth.
That all of god’s children are in need of second chances. I believe that we may be able to reach this young man and bring him around to see the error of his ways and to be a model citizen. We can call some of the time community service as I can use the extra help around the church.
That sounds like a good idea. And if this is successful maybe you can start a new rehabilitation program for my district.
Oh your honor flatters me. I do not know if I can help this one lost soul let alone have the time to attend to the entire jail and to my congregation. Let us just see how this time with this individual works out.
So on Thursdays we will have an exhibition baptism for 10 mines every hour. Between sessions the nice young gentleman will be assisting in the construction of the youth center.
If you have not been by in a while you might want to come by for this. You do not need to commit a sin to come down. You can just come down for a round or two for fun and just some extra education.
Psa 40:10
I have not failed to tell about your justice; I spoke about your reliability and deliverance; I have not neglected to tell the great assembly about your loyal love and faithfulness.
Psa 9:16
The Lord revealed himself; he accomplished justice; the wicked were ensnared by their own actions.
Psa 40:9
I have told the great assembly about your justice. Look! I spare no words! O Lord, you know this is true.
Now at some point the judge may decide that the work done here is too extreme and decide to remove the youth form the program. Until then i encourage everybody to come one down and witness me saving this little turds souls every Thursday form 6:00am to 6:00pm as well as those in our midst that need and want the savings too.
Psa 35:24
Vindicate me by your justice, O Lord my God! Do not let them gloat over me!
Psa 35:28
Then I will tell others about your justice, and praise you all day long.
Coffee, soft drinks and cookies are in the foyer. While you are all gathering and socializing I am going to get into the parking lot and witness to the first person to honk his horn.
I have repeatedly told you all that the members in the parking lot are your family members but you all seem to forget.
So honk and you will receive a special Sunday dose on my salvation.
The teen minister has announced that he is engaged and will be taking a position at a church closer to his fiancée’s family. I will miss him as he is the first to get a knock down. many of you all remember that epic battle when the church first moved into a building instead of a tent.
Go in peace and feel free to honk today.
Psa 45:4
Appear in your majesty and be victorious! Ride forth for the sake of what is right, on behalf of justice! Then your right hand will accomplish mighty acts!
Zombies and The Lord By Rev J. Sleestaxx
This being the Halloween week I thought a bit of Halloween bible would be appropriate.
So we will talk about what the bible has to say about zombies and cannibalism. But first is it cannibalism for a zombie to eat the living.
To eat the corpses of the dead is called Necrophagy. And cannibalism is the killing and eating of the same species. The bible states that this is practiced in the past.
Lam 4:10 The hands of tenderhearted women cooked their own children, who became their food, when my people were destroyed.
WOW their own children that is harsh. But you got to do what you got to do.
John 6:54 The one who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.
The bible also speaks of zombies. Celebrating Zombies even;
Isa 26:19
Your dead will come back to life; your corpses will rise up. Wake up and shout joyfully, you who live in the ground! For you will grow like plants drenched with the morning dew, and the earth will bring forth its dead spirits.
Wow even the lord and god believe that the dead are allowed to come back and walk and dance and sing. Although zombie purists would say that true zombies can not articulate at all. But the bible's zombies can shout joyfully about being a zombie and grow like plants.
It would appear that being a zombie would be a state in which one would be happy about.
The bible also speaks about feeding zombies and zombie residency.
Deu 14:21
You may not eat any corpse, though you may give it to the resident foreigner who is living in your villages and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner.
So I guess that if you are a zombie you are no longer a resident of your country. I would guess that that would make sense and that you would automatically become a member of the zombie nation. the lord loves everyone so i imagine that when Jesus died and then became a zombie it was also for the salvation of the undead also.
1Cor 15:29 Otherwise, what will those do who are baptized for the dead? If the dead are not raised at all, then why are they baptized for them?
Mat 22:13 Then the king said to his attendants, ‘Tie him up hand and foot and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth!’ 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.”
For one to be "thrown to zombies", sounds to me, to be a celebrated position and one that should relished and a position of pride and stature.
I would think that this is because at some point in the feeding you are now a zombie too and the other zombies stop eating you and then you begin to look for live flesh to consume.
John 6:55 For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.
The bible even speaks of a whole city of undead.
Eze 11:6
You have killed many people in this city; you have filled its streets with corpses.
Can you imagine the film prospects and television shows that could be generated from a city like this today? There could be a competition reality show of contestants having to navigate though a city of zombies with out becoming one for cash and prizes. All the prizes you obtained could be given to your loved ones should you not make it!
Deu 25:5
If brothers live together and one of them dies without having a son, the dead man’s wife must not remarry someone outside the family. Instead, her late husband’s brother must go to her, marry her, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law.
You could have a MTV real life in Zombieville and the dysfunctional teenagers can fornicate and drink to excess and sin in zombie town. They can have the sinners of the show date some of the zombies. They should not mind since the bible protects them from marring the zombies.
Luk 20:35
But those who are regarded as worthy to share in that age and in the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage.
The sinners and felons in prison who worry about the injection being too painful can be thrown into zombie city. There they can carve out an existence with the undead until they succumb to the ways of the zombie. This would take care of the prison problem, and the zombie feeding problem that would arise.
Eze 39:18
You will eat the flesh of warriors and drink the blood of the princes of the earth – the rams, lambs, goats, and bulls, all of them fattened animals of Bashan.
I could also see the nut cases starting a zombie advocacy group saying the television shows and movies were taking advantage of the zombies and that someone had to speak for them since they can only say brains.
I would imagine this city of zombies is not unlike the malls in the movies, You know where the mall is filled with zombies looking for more flesh and brains to consume. Why the mall?? I personally would try to get away from the rest of the zombie pack and maybe hide in the bushes by like the IRS office. Then I would leap out and grab the auditors as they came by.
No one knows why living flesh is needed but zombies have needed living flesh since the dawn of time. There must be something in the flesh that appeals to zombies. But the bible states that living flesh is indeed needed by zombies.
John 6:53 Jesus said to them, “I tell you the solemn truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in yourselves.
To eat the flesh of the son of man is to give life. So both life and a zombie state is talked about in the bible as being a state one would not mind being in.
But the bible also has instructions on how to kill a zombie. This was written before the shotgun was invented to blow the heads off of fucking bad zombies.
I say bad zombies because I can not think of a reason why the lord would instruct in how to kill a zombie after speaking so highly of the creation and care of zombies. But how to kill a zombie is also talked about.
So I will say these instructions are fro a time when there was only one way to kill a sinning zombie.
Jdg 4:21 Then Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg in one hand and a hammer in the other. She crept up on him, drove the tent peg through his temple into the ground.
The bible also speaks of the living eating zombies and the dead. I can imagine during war and great famines when the lord was angry, that his people would need to eat something and eating the dead and the evil sinners that entered you city or domicile would make complete sense to me and the lord.
Eze 11:7
Therefore, this is what the sovereign Lord says: ‘The corpses you have dumped in the midst of the city are the meat, and this city is the cooking pot.
To be sure that your in fact dealing with a zombie and to be sure that anyone who has comein contact with a zombie is not or is a zombie the bible also leave provisions or a test when one comes in contact with a zombie.
Num 19:11
“‘Whoever touches the corpse of any person will be ceremonially unclean seven days.
I imagine that 7 days is a sufficient time to be sure that the zombie infection has not taken a hold of you. So if you are in a situation where you think that a loved one has been in contact with a zombie you must keep them away for 7 days. if after 7 days they are showing sign of zombie ism then you may break bread and have them in your domicile.
There was a time in history that the lord created 185 thousand zombies over night. I am willing to bet that this was around Halloween.
Isa 37:36
The Lord’s messenger went out and killed 185,000 troops in the Assyrian camp. When they got up early the next morning, they were all corpses!
Now did he bring them back after Halloween? The bible does not say so. But I can imagine that it would suck to wake up and be dead.
Maybe we will find out on the morning of the 31st. Maybe the lord will turn us all into the undead for Halloween. We can wake up dead on one day and wake up alive on the next. We will all have a better appreciation for being alive after being dead for a day.
Plus I bet you can get a free personal day from work if you can say that you were dead.
So when the 31st rolls around do not be surprised if you wake up dead. Do not be surprised by the dead knocking at your door. And be mindful of the malls during this time also.
The church will be offering candy at a Halloween fair for the kids since there are too many fucking freaks out there. If you do not want to risk taking your wonderful devils witches angels and movies heroes out in the neighborhood bring them on down to the fair.
We will have a haunted house, a jumping thingy and we will also have a marathon boxing lesson for any of the kids.
The street evangelizing has been very successful and we have beat the lord into many of the thugs and sinners in the city over the past month.
We have had a large turnout in the applications for deaconship and I would like to announce that the first female deacon has been accepted.
Please welcome Shannon Lark as the first female deacon. I am sure that you will all make her feel welcome.
Please find the time to stop in the foyer and welcome slash congratulate her on the position
So we will talk about what the bible has to say about zombies and cannibalism. But first is it cannibalism for a zombie to eat the living.
To eat the corpses of the dead is called Necrophagy. And cannibalism is the killing and eating of the same species. The bible states that this is practiced in the past.
Lam 4:10 The hands of tenderhearted women cooked their own children, who became their food, when my people were destroyed.
WOW their own children that is harsh. But you got to do what you got to do.
John 6:54 The one who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.
The bible also speaks of zombies. Celebrating Zombies even;
Isa 26:19
Your dead will come back to life; your corpses will rise up. Wake up and shout joyfully, you who live in the ground! For you will grow like plants drenched with the morning dew, and the earth will bring forth its dead spirits.
Wow even the lord and god believe that the dead are allowed to come back and walk and dance and sing. Although zombie purists would say that true zombies can not articulate at all. But the bible's zombies can shout joyfully about being a zombie and grow like plants.
It would appear that being a zombie would be a state in which one would be happy about.
The bible also speaks about feeding zombies and zombie residency.
Deu 14:21
You may not eat any corpse, though you may give it to the resident foreigner who is living in your villages and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner.
So I guess that if you are a zombie you are no longer a resident of your country. I would guess that that would make sense and that you would automatically become a member of the zombie nation. the lord loves everyone so i imagine that when Jesus died and then became a zombie it was also for the salvation of the undead also.
1Cor 15:29 Otherwise, what will those do who are baptized for the dead? If the dead are not raised at all, then why are they baptized for them?
Mat 22:13 Then the king said to his attendants, ‘Tie him up hand and foot and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth!’ 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.”
For one to be "thrown to zombies", sounds to me, to be a celebrated position and one that should relished and a position of pride and stature.
I would think that this is because at some point in the feeding you are now a zombie too and the other zombies stop eating you and then you begin to look for live flesh to consume.
John 6:55 For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.
The bible even speaks of a whole city of undead.
Eze 11:6
You have killed many people in this city; you have filled its streets with corpses.
Can you imagine the film prospects and television shows that could be generated from a city like this today? There could be a competition reality show of contestants having to navigate though a city of zombies with out becoming one for cash and prizes. All the prizes you obtained could be given to your loved ones should you not make it!
Deu 25:5
If brothers live together and one of them dies without having a son, the dead man’s wife must not remarry someone outside the family. Instead, her late husband’s brother must go to her, marry her, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law.
You could have a MTV real life in Zombieville and the dysfunctional teenagers can fornicate and drink to excess and sin in zombie town. They can have the sinners of the show date some of the zombies. They should not mind since the bible protects them from marring the zombies.
Luk 20:35
But those who are regarded as worthy to share in that age and in the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage.
The sinners and felons in prison who worry about the injection being too painful can be thrown into zombie city. There they can carve out an existence with the undead until they succumb to the ways of the zombie. This would take care of the prison problem, and the zombie feeding problem that would arise.
Eze 39:18
You will eat the flesh of warriors and drink the blood of the princes of the earth – the rams, lambs, goats, and bulls, all of them fattened animals of Bashan.
I could also see the nut cases starting a zombie advocacy group saying the television shows and movies were taking advantage of the zombies and that someone had to speak for them since they can only say brains.
I would imagine this city of zombies is not unlike the malls in the movies, You know where the mall is filled with zombies looking for more flesh and brains to consume. Why the mall?? I personally would try to get away from the rest of the zombie pack and maybe hide in the bushes by like the IRS office. Then I would leap out and grab the auditors as they came by.
No one knows why living flesh is needed but zombies have needed living flesh since the dawn of time. There must be something in the flesh that appeals to zombies. But the bible states that living flesh is indeed needed by zombies.
John 6:53 Jesus said to them, “I tell you the solemn truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in yourselves.
To eat the flesh of the son of man is to give life. So both life and a zombie state is talked about in the bible as being a state one would not mind being in.
But the bible also has instructions on how to kill a zombie. This was written before the shotgun was invented to blow the heads off of fucking bad zombies.
I say bad zombies because I can not think of a reason why the lord would instruct in how to kill a zombie after speaking so highly of the creation and care of zombies. But how to kill a zombie is also talked about.
So I will say these instructions are fro a time when there was only one way to kill a sinning zombie.
Jdg 4:21 Then Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg in one hand and a hammer in the other. She crept up on him, drove the tent peg through his temple into the ground.
The bible also speaks of the living eating zombies and the dead. I can imagine during war and great famines when the lord was angry, that his people would need to eat something and eating the dead and the evil sinners that entered you city or domicile would make complete sense to me and the lord.
Eze 11:7
Therefore, this is what the sovereign Lord says: ‘The corpses you have dumped in the midst of the city are the meat, and this city is the cooking pot.
To be sure that your in fact dealing with a zombie and to be sure that anyone who has comein contact with a zombie is not or is a zombie the bible also leave provisions or a test when one comes in contact with a zombie.
Num 19:11
“‘Whoever touches the corpse of any person will be ceremonially unclean seven days.
I imagine that 7 days is a sufficient time to be sure that the zombie infection has not taken a hold of you. So if you are in a situation where you think that a loved one has been in contact with a zombie you must keep them away for 7 days. if after 7 days they are showing sign of zombie ism then you may break bread and have them in your domicile.
There was a time in history that the lord created 185 thousand zombies over night. I am willing to bet that this was around Halloween.
Isa 37:36
The Lord’s messenger went out and killed 185,000 troops in the Assyrian camp. When they got up early the next morning, they were all corpses!
Now did he bring them back after Halloween? The bible does not say so. But I can imagine that it would suck to wake up and be dead.
Maybe we will find out on the morning of the 31st. Maybe the lord will turn us all into the undead for Halloween. We can wake up dead on one day and wake up alive on the next. We will all have a better appreciation for being alive after being dead for a day.
Plus I bet you can get a free personal day from work if you can say that you were dead.
So when the 31st rolls around do not be surprised if you wake up dead. Do not be surprised by the dead knocking at your door. And be mindful of the malls during this time also.
The church will be offering candy at a Halloween fair for the kids since there are too many fucking freaks out there. If you do not want to risk taking your wonderful devils witches angels and movies heroes out in the neighborhood bring them on down to the fair.
We will have a haunted house, a jumping thingy and we will also have a marathon boxing lesson for any of the kids.
The street evangelizing has been very successful and we have beat the lord into many of the thugs and sinners in the city over the past month.
We have had a large turnout in the applications for deaconship and I would like to announce that the first female deacon has been accepted.
Please welcome Shannon Lark as the first female deacon. I am sure that you will all make her feel welcome.
Please find the time to stop in the foyer and welcome slash congratulate her on the position
I am My Brother's Keeper
Jer 30:17
Yes, I will restore you to health. I will heal your wounds. I, the Lord, affirm it! For you have been called an outcast, Zion, whom no one cares for.”
My friends I have another story to relate to you all. This is about
“I am My Brother’s Keeper.”
I was in the gas station this weekend and there was this guy, this guy must have weighed 400-450lbs.
He is standing there in line in front of me waiting to buy a 44oz coke, Twix, Twinkies, and one of those travel cups of resses swoops.
I am looking at this guy and listening to him huff and wheeze and I am thinking how can this guy take a crap and not think about how he looks. I am willing to bet that he has not seen his feet or his penis for years. I know that the shower stall in my house would be hard pressed to have him fit in and I know that my tub could not fit him and water at the same time.
Where are the cops to stop this man???
I have cops standing at intersections giving out tickets for seatbelts. Why are they not making this a law?? I think that these people should be held accountable fro their actions like motorcycle riders without helmets and car occupants without seat belts.
I decided to do the right thing and I smacked his hand holding the candy and made him drop it. As he turned I brought my hand up under the 44oz cup and sent it flying. He looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was but it did not matter. He looked at the candy on the ground and the soda puddle next to it and asked me "What was that for." I smiled and said I was performing an act of good citizenship and saving his life. I also said that I thought that his size did not warrant such crappy food.
Then I slapped my right hand, the one that was touched by God himself, on his forehead and said, “You need to get down to Bally's Total Fitness and get buff, because if you are fat you will not be able to get through the Pearly Gates even turned sideways.”
Then I said, “Your lard will be burned up in the Lake of Fire along with ... dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie. Revelation 22:15”
He said it was none of my business and to mind my own affairs. I explained that under the same premise as the seat belt laws and helmet laws that his size and willful neglect of his health was placing a strain on the health care system that ultimately I am going to have to shoulder since he will not live long enough to pay for enough insurance to cover his debt.
Abdul Seheem Shamire began yelling at us about the mess. I threw a twenty at him and told him that that should cover the problem on the floor. But he continued to scream and yell as though he was in prayer. I deftly stepped around the fat man and reached the counter in two steps. I grabbed the twenty and the back of Abdul's head and slammed the Middle Eastern cranium into the scratcher ticket window on the counter. Abdul began to stop yelling and just whimper. I will make it up to him and his family like I always do.
The fat man stepped back away from me for fear that I was going to hurt him next. Just as I was about to say that I was not going hurt him he slipped in the coke and candy puddle and fell down.
He began to wallow on his back and scream "don't hurt me don't hurt me."
I yelled for him to shut up.
He did but the fear in his eyes was tremendous.
I asked if he was alright.
He said “yes.”
I asked if he could get up from that position.
He said “no.”
I asked, “Do I need to roll you over to your stomach so you can get up.”
He nodded.
I grabbed a hand and pulled him over to his side and he huffed and wheezed for a minute or two and then he began the laborious process of getting up.
When he was on his hands and knees he reached out and picked up that fucking Twix bar. I kicked him in the ribs and yelled "What the hell are you doing, you dip shit?"
He "uffed" and let go of the candy bar. When he was back on his feet I told him that he had better make right his body as his body was a temple of the lord and that God and Jesus do not need that much room.
He nodded and left the station.
I helped Abdul to the back room and made sure that the first aid kit had the proper size bandages and I told him that his family would be receiving a gift to make up for this terrible grievous error on my part.
I also told him that his sister made a wonderful wife and has brought much pride and honor to his family.
I did not have the heart to tell him that his sister is a harlot and a skank. And that I have to beat her daily for committing adultery while I’m at work.
Please remember that your body is a temple for the lord and that it should be fit and ready for him to enter at all times. Also remember that your health is also a burden on the rest of us. Everyone should do their part in making the world a blessed place and as stress free as possible.
Friends I want to remind you all again about the Thursday night bible beat downs. And that you do not have to be a “Lost soul” to get your ass stomped by me, you can just need some good old fashion encouragement and path straitening.
Why just last Thursday deacon Timothy was in need of some guidance because he was having lustful thoughts for a woman at work. But he talked to his wife and she recommended that he come down and see me. After counseling the two I brought the kind deacon into the ring and we went 2 rounds before he saw the light and errors of his ways.
The deacon’s wife went one round before she realized that she should make herself more available to the deacon and maybe spend a little more time on her morning makeup routine.
Cookies, cakes, and coffees have been arranged by the women’s auxiliary and are out in the foyer for a short Sunday morning social please stop have some and talk to your fellow worshiper before going home today.
Thank you and God bless.
Yes, I will restore you to health. I will heal your wounds. I, the Lord, affirm it! For you have been called an outcast, Zion, whom no one cares for.”
My friends I have another story to relate to you all. This is about
“I am My Brother’s Keeper.”
I was in the gas station this weekend and there was this guy, this guy must have weighed 400-450lbs.
He is standing there in line in front of me waiting to buy a 44oz coke, Twix, Twinkies, and one of those travel cups of resses swoops.
I am looking at this guy and listening to him huff and wheeze and I am thinking how can this guy take a crap and not think about how he looks. I am willing to bet that he has not seen his feet or his penis for years. I know that the shower stall in my house would be hard pressed to have him fit in and I know that my tub could not fit him and water at the same time.
Where are the cops to stop this man???
I have cops standing at intersections giving out tickets for seatbelts. Why are they not making this a law?? I think that these people should be held accountable fro their actions like motorcycle riders without helmets and car occupants without seat belts.
I decided to do the right thing and I smacked his hand holding the candy and made him drop it. As he turned I brought my hand up under the 44oz cup and sent it flying. He looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was but it did not matter. He looked at the candy on the ground and the soda puddle next to it and asked me "What was that for." I smiled and said I was performing an act of good citizenship and saving his life. I also said that I thought that his size did not warrant such crappy food.
Then I slapped my right hand, the one that was touched by God himself, on his forehead and said, “You need to get down to Bally's Total Fitness and get buff, because if you are fat you will not be able to get through the Pearly Gates even turned sideways.”
Then I said, “Your lard will be burned up in the Lake of Fire along with ... dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie. Revelation 22:15”
He said it was none of my business and to mind my own affairs. I explained that under the same premise as the seat belt laws and helmet laws that his size and willful neglect of his health was placing a strain on the health care system that ultimately I am going to have to shoulder since he will not live long enough to pay for enough insurance to cover his debt.
Abdul Seheem Shamire began yelling at us about the mess. I threw a twenty at him and told him that that should cover the problem on the floor. But he continued to scream and yell as though he was in prayer. I deftly stepped around the fat man and reached the counter in two steps. I grabbed the twenty and the back of Abdul's head and slammed the Middle Eastern cranium into the scratcher ticket window on the counter. Abdul began to stop yelling and just whimper. I will make it up to him and his family like I always do.
The fat man stepped back away from me for fear that I was going to hurt him next. Just as I was about to say that I was not going hurt him he slipped in the coke and candy puddle and fell down.
He began to wallow on his back and scream "don't hurt me don't hurt me."
I yelled for him to shut up.
He did but the fear in his eyes was tremendous.
I asked if he was alright.
He said “yes.”
I asked if he could get up from that position.
He said “no.”
I asked, “Do I need to roll you over to your stomach so you can get up.”
He nodded.
I grabbed a hand and pulled him over to his side and he huffed and wheezed for a minute or two and then he began the laborious process of getting up.
When he was on his hands and knees he reached out and picked up that fucking Twix bar. I kicked him in the ribs and yelled "What the hell are you doing, you dip shit?"
He "uffed" and let go of the candy bar. When he was back on his feet I told him that he had better make right his body as his body was a temple of the lord and that God and Jesus do not need that much room.
He nodded and left the station.
I helped Abdul to the back room and made sure that the first aid kit had the proper size bandages and I told him that his family would be receiving a gift to make up for this terrible grievous error on my part.
I also told him that his sister made a wonderful wife and has brought much pride and honor to his family.
I did not have the heart to tell him that his sister is a harlot and a skank. And that I have to beat her daily for committing adultery while I’m at work.
Please remember that your body is a temple for the lord and that it should be fit and ready for him to enter at all times. Also remember that your health is also a burden on the rest of us. Everyone should do their part in making the world a blessed place and as stress free as possible.
Friends I want to remind you all again about the Thursday night bible beat downs. And that you do not have to be a “Lost soul” to get your ass stomped by me, you can just need some good old fashion encouragement and path straitening.
Why just last Thursday deacon Timothy was in need of some guidance because he was having lustful thoughts for a woman at work. But he talked to his wife and she recommended that he come down and see me. After counseling the two I brought the kind deacon into the ring and we went 2 rounds before he saw the light and errors of his ways.
The deacon’s wife went one round before she realized that she should make herself more available to the deacon and maybe spend a little more time on her morning makeup routine.
Cookies, cakes, and coffees have been arranged by the women’s auxiliary and are out in the foyer for a short Sunday morning social please stop have some and talk to your fellow worshiper before going home today.
Thank you and God bless.
Pink You Ignorant Slut!
This is total liberal celebrity crap. Let me ask you bitch what do you do for the fucking homeless?? What do you do to support the troops? What are you doing to help make the world a better place?? Yeah that is what I fucking thought! you are out to get what you can for pink and you will use what ever you can to get it! You use your celeb status to take a few fucking shots at a job that is always ridiculed by everybody. I would like to your pansy pampered ass do the job. Making the tough decisions that need to be made, I would like to see you make the decision to storm another country and disrupt their economy and then find that the old wood administration had dropped the fucking ball and you made a mistake. He admitted that there was a mistake we all know that he made the best decision based on the best data he had at the time.
What would you have done when the fuckers dropped the towers?? ' now that is not right you guys you all should stop that rough play before more people get hurt.' yeah fucking right! How about when you were given the information that some crazy person had dangerous weapons and was know to attack other countries?? 'Now Saddam you really need to find the inner child and learn to love everybody.'
Why don't you stick to making bubble gum records, and trying to look hardcore. And leave the politics to the rest of the world that really cares. You do not care, your real concern is, am I getting paid? Who is stealing from me? And when do I get to eat? when did you wake up and say 'you know what I have the cash to help out 1000+ people by donating to habitat for humanity and I will swing a hammer for a week to build a few homes.' No you meet with some people and you eat lunch and you talk shit about some people.
Now I know you worked hard to get where you are and to do the things you do and want to do. But the president asked to have the job of running the country, asked to make the toughest decisions in the country and in the worlds best interest, and we as a group said yeah go ahead. Now when the decisions are made there are the pussies that want to complain, and cash in on his job right or wrong better or worse. why don't you take your fucking pop album divide it up by the number of songs and take the "GROSS" percentage of that one song and donate that to a charity that will help the homeless, the war displaced, the hungry children of the single mothers who made bad decisions and had babies that they should have not had yet. then you and your record company can then split the remainder for the costs and royalties.....
Yeah I thought not, you fucking, greedy, bitch fucker, spit in your face, whore, duce bag, fake, wanna be human!
kasdbfpiqwbfiyqwisjbdefash aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Bring Your Best Game Bitch
Humasn are evil
I umpire youth baseball. If you have ever doubted the human race, do that (umpire) for a few games. Every time I think the human race is a decent species I end up with a team that reminds me that we as a species are inherently evil and there can be no doubt about the fact that we killed the missing link and ate their remains. We would eat the children of our neighbors if we thought no one was looking.
Trust me, your co-worker is right now plotting your death, and the guy in the car next to you on the way home tonight is imagining what it would be like to bath in your blood and rape your entire family line.
Fuck them all.
Human race is not civilized at all. We are able to use verbal indicators to convince ourselves that we care about everyone else.
We do not care about anyone else; we only want to find a way to take what does not belong to us. "Fuck everyone else man, it is all about what I can do for myself."
here let me piss in your mouth and tell you its
medicine.
You all who think that if you do the right thing and stay the straight and narrow, toe the company line that you will be rewarded. Did you not hear about the Enron fuckers. Jesus they raped the entire market, they raped the entire work force, and they get way. They fake their death and live in Brazil. fuck fuck fuck fuck you fucking spit in your mouth and stick you in the ribs with a plastic butter Knife. ahhhhhhhhhhhhrhrrrrrrrrgggggggg
ja;jklebnsfaJKLQBWF'[UIOQHAJIOSBHDF;AJBSDABNSDIPUGAS;KFNDPAISUBF;IASEDF
DAMN IT AND DAMN YOU ALL FUCK YOU FUCK YOU ALL hahahahahahahah YOU are all fucking yourselves and you all do not care.
One day a terrible rain will come and wash all the trash, dirt, and shit from the streets. Then the world will be made clean and righteous, just as God intended. The meek will not be there though as they will have been eaten and shat out as so much refuse and waste.
Trust me, your co-worker is right now plotting your death, and the guy in the car next to you on the way home tonight is imagining what it would be like to bath in your blood and rape your entire family line.
Fuck them all.
Human race is not civilized at all. We are able to use verbal indicators to convince ourselves that we care about everyone else.
We do not care about anyone else; we only want to find a way to take what does not belong to us. "Fuck everyone else man, it is all about what I can do for myself."
here let me piss in your mouth and tell you its
medicine.
You all who think that if you do the right thing and stay the straight and narrow, toe the company line that you will be rewarded. Did you not hear about the Enron fuckers. Jesus they raped the entire market, they raped the entire work force, and they get way. They fake their death and live in Brazil. fuck fuck fuck fuck you fucking spit in your mouth and stick you in the ribs with a plastic butter Knife. ahhhhhhhhhhhhrhrrrrrrrrgggggggg
ja;jklebnsfaJKLQBWF'[UIOQHAJIOSBHDF;AJBSDABNSDIPUGAS;KFNDPAISUBF;IASEDF
DAMN IT AND DAMN YOU ALL FUCK YOU FUCK YOU ALL hahahahahahahah YOU are all fucking yourselves and you all do not care.
One day a terrible rain will come and wash all the trash, dirt, and shit from the streets. Then the world will be made clean and righteous, just as God intended. The meek will not be there though as they will have been eaten and shat out as so much refuse and waste.
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