A Stinky Contraption

 The shoes were a stinky contraption of leather, rubber and canvas held together by man made threads. The logo design was no longer important because they just hung on the wire. On the wire the shoes told everybody that a bad man lived here and to stay away.

Everyday they were a constant reminder to him that he let a banger take his shoes. Shoes his daddy bought for him, just before he left. His momma was so mad when he came home that she beat him.

 And now he hides under the porch smoking pot barefooted in the mud.

Licking the balls

Ball lickers.

I was on the bases; I was into my 5th game. 

I was in "C" (3rd base side of pitcher’s mound)

 I was watching the losing team’s pitcher waiting for the runner on second to steal when I looked up and saw the pitcher with the ball in the glove and his face in the glove getting the signal from the catcher.

When lo' the pitcher was taking his mouth off the ball......? He pitched.

Wait what did I just say? Did I really just see that? Really? No effin way did that just happen!

I shifted over to get a better look into the glove. The pitcher received the throw back and looked right into my eyes. 

If this is just a tick then I am going to just warn him and the Maroon Coach.

The pitcher looks again at me and I see the he gauging me. And he sort of turns a bit to make my view off. I shift up and over. He rests his chin on the ball mouth closed and pitches.

He receives the ball and blows on it????? Nothing wrong here, questionable, but no spit, can't call it.

He repeats this ritual a couple of times and then.....

He rests his chin on the ball opens his mouth and rolls the ball up to his lips. Really? He did that? Really?

Time! 

I take the ball form the pitcher starts towards my partner turn to the pitch eject him, no argument no bewilderment from him he just accepts it. I finish my stride to my partner swap out the ball; tell my partner what just happen. I move the runner to third. The Maroon Coach NOW wants to know what is going on.

To The Maroon Coach "the pitcher put his open mouth on the ball."

The Maroon Coach says "What?"

To The Maroon Coach "the pitcher put his open mouth on the ball."

A dad hollers "He did not lick the ball."

I look at the Maroon Coach as he is about to protest some more.

To The Maroon Coach "I said nothing about licking the ball"

They put another pitcher on the mound and the game continues.

Maroon gets their third out and now goes to bat. The Maroon coach stands at first to coach the base. I am behind him in "A".

Three quick outs, Ball game!

To The Maroon Coach, "Coach I need you to sign the card." 

"I'll sign it later."

"Coach I need you to sign the card."

No I won't sign it. 

Coach I will put 'Refused To Sign card."

He keeps walking.

I get the other signature and we beat it out.

Yes I saw him put his open mouth on the ball.

Yes I do not believe this was a "tick" of some kind.

Yes I know he knew exactly what he was doing.

And no I do not feel bad about throwing a 12 year old out of a game.

I know he was cheating, I know he was taught the cheat by an adult. I do not think the cheat gave him an advantage but he thought it did. And maybe soon it would be giving him an advantage. 

I was told I should have given a warning. I told them if it was a tick it would have been a warning but it was a cheat and he knew it was a cheat. I threw out a cheater.

I taught him nothing because he will not get caught again because no one would even think of watching  him like I did.

He will become the President or a CEO and that day will mean nothing to him.

A Letter To New York After Sandy

Dear Mayor Bloomberg,

 I would like to be the first in Texas to write you and extend our deepest sympathies over the tragic hurricane attack your shitty has fallen victim too. Rivalry aside, this is a terrible time for you all.

 We down in the gulf region know all too well the terrible devastation a hurricane attack can cause. Cheer up though you are a resourceful bunch, resilient in your strength and tenacious in the face of adversity and strong in your convictions. We here in Texas applaud you all and are certain that if you all stick together you can get the "Big Apple" on its feet in now time.

 I do want to say though, please do not come down here. We in Texas are still reeling from the welfare influx from Katrina the support we are still giving New Orleans is crippling and time consuming. We do not need or want your criminals mixing with the criminals from New Orleans. We do not need to be handing out any more welfare to any from your part of the United States, seriously the burden on our already hobbled budget is too taxed as it is and there are many other states that have the resources and the cash to accept your troubled citizenship. And quite frankly you all talk kinda funny.

 You all should stay up there focus on rebuilding "the city that never sleeps". Yeah that's the ticket, if you all work 24 7 like you all claim you could probably rebuild in the half the time it take New Orleans to recover (recovering).

 So um yeah that's all I really wanted to say. "Stay up there. DO NOT come down here!" and see if that fancy pants guy in the big house can send you all some help.

 Some advice though, don’t let those FEMA guys try to help they are more trouble than they are worth.

Sincerely

Rev. John Sleestaxx

 A Texas citizen.

White Favoritism by Major League Home Plate Umps Lowers Minority Pitcher Performance and Pay, Baseball Study Finds

I call absolute shenanigans!

“The finding builds on an earlier study that discovered Major League Baseball's home plate umpires called strikes more often for pitchers in their same ethnic group -- except when the plate was electronically monitored by cameras, Sulaeman said”

Southern Methodist University (2011, September 7). White favoritism by Major League home plate umps lowers minority pitcher

Bullshit bullshit bullshit.

That means the umpires performance and his correctness is decided by who when the plate is not monitored electronically?

And you are saying that the umpire is concisely deciding to be bias. Again I call shenanigans.

And then you are saying that the minority pitcher is scaling back his risk taking because he fears the white guy behind the plate.

OMG what a fucking load of crap!

You sir are a hack and a pencil whipping dirty data pusher. You suck as a scientist and a author of papers.

The plate umpire is not going to be judgmental based on race. His concern at the plate is the freaking ball.

You even stated he is not when the plate is monitored. So when the plate is monitored he is being judged without bias and he is found to be not bias, but, when his only judge is the person or observer is in a booth or on a bench or in the stands with an agenda, and a very poor angle and perspective he, the umpire, is found to be bias.

That alone shows your data is dirty and you have gathered data and written a paper with an agenda and bias to start.

I say your paper shows favoritism and racial biasing and you have cherry picked your data and whipped your statements into a flaming pile of pooh.

Now I will admit that if you looked into the past historical relationships of umpires, pitchers, batters, and managers, you may find some biasing based on run-ins and conflict.

But not race.

I can tell you the plate umpire is only concerned about that 100mph ball and a invisible box that has to stay consistent regardless of hour, jeering, and earlier mistakes.

Go read this piece of filth first and then you will understand this rant more.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/09/110907124351.htm

Pink You Ignorant Slut!

This is total liberal celebrity crap. Let me ask you bitch what do you do for the fucking homeless?? What do you do to support the troops? What are you doing to help make the world a better place?? Yeah that is what I fucking thought! you are out to get what you can for pink and you will use what ever you can to get it! You use your celeb status to take a few fucking shots at a job that is always ridiculed by everybody. I would like to your pansy pampered ass do the job. Making the tough decisions that need to be made, I would like to see you make the decision to storm another country and disrupt their economy and then find that the old wood administration had dropped the fucking ball and you made a mistake. He admitted that there was a mistake we all know that he made the best decision based on the best data he had at the time.

What would you have done when the fuckers dropped the towers?? ' now that is not right you guys you all should stop that rough play before more people get hurt.' yeah fucking right! How about when you were given the information that some crazy person had dangerous weapons and was know to attack other countries?? 'Now Saddam you really need to find the inner child and learn to love everybody.'

Why don't you stick to making bubble gum records, and trying to look hardcore. And leave the politics to the rest of the world that really cares. You do not care, your real concern is, am I getting paid? Who is stealing from me? And when do I get to eat? when did you wake up and say 'you know what I have the cash to help out 1000+ people by donating to habitat for humanity and I will swing a hammer for a week to build a few homes.' No you meet with some people and you eat lunch and you talk shit about some people.

Now I know you worked hard to get where you are and to do the things you do and want to do. But the president asked to have the job of running the country, asked to make the toughest decisions in the country and in the worlds best interest, and we as a group said yeah go ahead. Now when the decisions are made there are the pussies that want to complain, and cash in on his job right or wrong better or worse. why don't you take your fucking pop album divide it up by the number of songs and take the "GROSS" percentage of that one song and donate that to a charity that will help the homeless, the war displaced, the hungry children of the single mothers who made bad decisions and had babies that they should have not had yet. then you and your record company can then split the remainder for the costs and royalties.....

Yeah I thought not, you fucking, greedy, bitch fucker, spit in your face, whore, duce bag, fake, wanna be human!

kasdbfpiqwbfiyqwisjbdefash aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

P!NK - Mr. President

Aliens adn rights

The whinny bleeding heart piece of shit judge says that an Alien is allowed the same right and privileges as an American citizen. That is not right! They are not of this country they do not get the rights that were secured for the people of this country. They are visitors and they should not be allowed the same as the citizens.
Do you let your visitors in your home go through your mail?
Do you discuss your personal life with the vacuum sales man at your door?
Would you think that your family was rude if they came over and began scrolling through you caller ID?
Hell no to all of the questions and the point is made. Visitors are allowed to come in and stay for a bit but they are just that, visitors. If they are thought to be criminals then they are allowed the same legal rights as they would have they been home. So if they look to be here to kill people then run them through the same kangaroo court system they have at home and then shoot them in the head! Their and then send the bill of the bullet to the government of the piece of shit country that allowed the fucker to leave and be done with the whole problem.
You see that is the problem they (the terrorists) know that we are pussified that there are too many wimps that want to scream unfair.
The rules are to keep the ones following the rules out of the competition. The ones winning the game are ones that ignore the rules. Kill the fucker send the fucker back to his lousy spit of land and be done with the whole problem!
Man this planet needs an enema!

Katrina losers get ANOTHER helping hand

Housing aid for Katrina victims extended until 2009

Here



fucking bastards
2004 to 2008 4 years free living expense for some wind and rain. Hurricane lottery! What a fucking joke. These fuckers need to get a fucking job, They need to go the fuck home and be a burden on their fucking states welfare program. they need to stop whining about how they lost everything. Fuck that your shit has been replaced. you have been given more money that i made when i got married and moved to the great state. eat shit and stop fucking whining man do they make pussies in Louisiana or what? get your head in the fucking game and get your shit stowed right. get to work, keep up, build yourself a future and pay me back some of my goddamn tax money. Get that faggot mayor to pay the feds back for the dome rebuild because he used his voters for an excuse for a rebuild. he was not out to make a safe shelter he knew that dome was not meant to house refugees and he also knew you fuckers would trash the place and the storm would be a reason to have tax money to rebuild.
Fuck that and fuck you all.
Go back to eating bugs and shrimp. what a fucking waste of human skin. what drag on the forward progress of our country. fuck this is why god is going to kill us all with frogs and boils. This is why the fucking Chinese are going to own the world and we are all going to be their slaves. fuck fuck fuck
get a fucking clue you dip shits!
ahh fuck it!
it all does not matter i am the only one that is sane and sees the shit going on. everyone else is yeah ok fuck me in ass some more please. i do not even know i am getting screwed oh what a lovely day hey i am going to go to walmart and perpetuate the support of the Chinese global conquest.
Fuck it gimme that damn cup of kool-aid. maybe if i drink enough i can get high like the rest of the fucking world and not care any more.

Bla bla bla bla