My Speech To The Class Of 2013

Hello Class of 2013. As I look out on your young and beautiful faces I see hope, I see promise, and I see the future. I also see panic, fright and I see utter despair and failure. 

For today you all enter into the last chapter of your lives. Because tomorrow you will no longer be high school students, you are ALL going to be adults. You are entering into the world as fresh meat for the world to consume. And I say this with genuine admiration and prayer for you all. Because I have been in your very seat and now I have been into the grinder and I know what you all face and I admire the naiveté with which you all have, as you plunge into this great journey. And I pray for each and every one of your souls, because soon you will be faced with decisions that will compromise your innocence, morals and ethics. You will eat or be eaten. You will destroy and rebuild. You will die and be reborn.

And unfortunately no matter your choice you will shed some of your youth, you will make connections and loose connections. You are going to break your hymen of childhood on the jagged, rough edges of adulthood.

Every once in a while I think back...I think about how it seemed so difficult at the time. But then again, youth built on drama, youth is fueled by tragic moments that when strung together will be the sum of your lives.

I am now 48 plus some days and over 200 pounds and every morning I get up and puke and then on my "kill or be killed" commute to a pathetic foot race with corporate whore mongers, pirates and thieves, I think back to my youth. And I think ‘man that was difficult’, trying to figure out if my mother was going to be with a drunkard or a boxer or fucking worse yet, a drunk angry boxer. And I think this fucking rat race I am in is SOOOOO much easier. I know the rules I know the boundaries and I know that as long as I do not talk too much no one knows what a fucking mess I am.

I fucking hated those times that you are all in right now and am so glad I am beyond that, and then fucktards with some weird ass hair up their ass seems that they want to re-capture those times by trying to contact me. Why?

We were stupid, we knew nothing of how the world worked or existed beyond our poor pathetic sociopathic world. We talked about how we were cool and everyone was not because they were not individuals. We were the future and we were going to make a difference. We looked down on those that looked down on us, and for what? The same reasons they looked down on us. 

And don't start me on the whole kum-bi-ya, group hippy love hug shit, that we all accepted those not like us and embraced those that were different like us. Yeah fucking right! We had cliques and we defended those cliques with fury, hatred and broken bottles. We were just as guilty of snobbery as our educators and protectors. We did, on a smaller scale, the same evil shit that we said we were rallying against. We learned from masters of evil and deception. We copied them but disguised it in youth exuberance. How fucking ignorant were we?

I look back at those times with venom, hatred, uneasiness, and a mounting debt of therapy bills and a hand full of prescribed medications. Yeah I remember everyone single one of them and Jesus H Christ why do they all want to make me touch those things again? Why do they all want to touch those things again?

We were all outcasts but so was everyone else our age and so IS every one of you! We hid in their group and peer structure just as you do. We were rude and cold to everyone that was new that showed up. We were dickheads and twats to the world. We walked around spouting the world owed us and [raising voice] you want to know what? [full on top of lungs yell] the world don’t owe us shit!

And my karma is destroyed by my decisions just as every single one of my generation.

You are not special, you did not earn a single trophy that is in your room right now. You have been coddled, swaddled, and protected from what you are all about to endure.

Life!

Yep, that’s fucking right life is going to eat your mutherfucking lunch if you think you are going to make this world a better place. The world does not want to a better place. The world likes it just the way it is. Cheaters will always win. Liars will always prosper and the thieves will pocket everything you have.

Congratulations class of 2013 you are now in the race and you are not even aware the that there is a pack of wolves already closing in.

[Middle finger] Good fucking luck! And don’t get in my way or I will bite your neck and claw your back to get what is mine.

You Are All Doomed!

Licking the balls

Ball lickers.

I was on the bases; I was into my 5th game. 

I was in "C" (3rd base side of pitcher’s mound)

 I was watching the losing team’s pitcher waiting for the runner on second to steal when I looked up and saw the pitcher with the ball in the glove and his face in the glove getting the signal from the catcher.

When lo' the pitcher was taking his mouth off the ball......? He pitched.

Wait what did I just say? Did I really just see that? Really? No effin way did that just happen!

I shifted over to get a better look into the glove. The pitcher received the throw back and looked right into my eyes. 

If this is just a tick then I am going to just warn him and the Maroon Coach.

The pitcher looks again at me and I see the he gauging me. And he sort of turns a bit to make my view off. I shift up and over. He rests his chin on the ball mouth closed and pitches.

He receives the ball and blows on it????? Nothing wrong here, questionable, but no spit, can't call it.

He repeats this ritual a couple of times and then.....

He rests his chin on the ball opens his mouth and rolls the ball up to his lips. Really? He did that? Really?

Time! 

I take the ball form the pitcher starts towards my partner turn to the pitch eject him, no argument no bewilderment from him he just accepts it. I finish my stride to my partner swap out the ball; tell my partner what just happen. I move the runner to third. The Maroon Coach NOW wants to know what is going on.

To The Maroon Coach "the pitcher put his open mouth on the ball."

The Maroon Coach says "What?"

To The Maroon Coach "the pitcher put his open mouth on the ball."

A dad hollers "He did not lick the ball."

I look at the Maroon Coach as he is about to protest some more.

To The Maroon Coach "I said nothing about licking the ball"

They put another pitcher on the mound and the game continues.

Maroon gets their third out and now goes to bat. The Maroon coach stands at first to coach the base. I am behind him in "A".

Three quick outs, Ball game!

To The Maroon Coach, "Coach I need you to sign the card." 

"I'll sign it later."

"Coach I need you to sign the card."

No I won't sign it. 

Coach I will put 'Refused To Sign card."

He keeps walking.

I get the other signature and we beat it out.

Yes I saw him put his open mouth on the ball.

Yes I do not believe this was a "tick" of some kind.

Yes I know he knew exactly what he was doing.

And no I do not feel bad about throwing a 12 year old out of a game.

I know he was cheating, I know he was taught the cheat by an adult. I do not think the cheat gave him an advantage but he thought it did. And maybe soon it would be giving him an advantage. 

I was told I should have given a warning. I told them if it was a tick it would have been a warning but it was a cheat and he knew it was a cheat. I threw out a cheater.

I taught him nothing because he will not get caught again because no one would even think of watching  him like I did.

He will become the President or a CEO and that day will mean nothing to him.