Barking spiders

 The little gnome opened the door. He had two bowls in his hand. One with last nights stew and another with water.

 He was greeted by a hoard of little creatures. Alll of them jumping up and down clammering for his attention, or was it the food?

 Aww he knew this venture was a gold mine. Why the humans all kept talking about these little creatures.

 Why not breed them and sell them. He asked his gnome wife.

 Who is going to want barking spiders? Was her only reply.

 She did not stay the smell was too much for her.

Go eat a sandwich

There are evil men among us.

That’s right we have evil men here right here this very moment. They are here to question my authority.

Question my sincerity. They all ask themselves, ‘why does he get to say the things he says?’’

Tell them, ‘Because he wants to!’

That’s right bitches I want to, I do the bible research, I chose to go out and open my life and my heart in front of God and everyone.

Now you may not like some of what I have to say.

And some may not like any of what I have to say.

But damn it I have it to say!

I want to say it!

And I will not hold back because some hypersensitive Pee See whiner is going to complain.

We have been driven into a position of caring too much about how something is being said instead of what is being said.

Some things can not be prettied up. They are ugly, offensive, and not nice.

But they are the truths none the less.

If you do not like what is being said then do not listen. Make an argument against what is said. But DO NOT THINK THAT YOU CAN SHUT ME UP WITH A, “My feelings are hurt by what you said.”

Do you think that anybody cared about my feelings when my step father beat me.

Do you think that my mother mad him stop when he was caught with his pants down?

Do you think anybody cared when I ran away.

Where were the fucking whiners when the pot growing hippy in the commune started to do the same things my step father did? I DO NOT THINK THAT WAS WHAT WAS MEANT WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT THE DECADE OF FUCKING LOVE!

And where was the caring and sharing love we all must have when that fat fucker in San Francisco said he had a place for me, and turned out to be a place for those that chose to walk the street for him. Yeah the only fuckers that cared about the feelings of a 14year old boy were the salesman too fucking weak to admit they were gay and hated themselves for it too. The only feelings they wanted to take care of, was to create my own self loathing and beat me for their own fucking weakness.

Fuck them all and fuck you all with your whiner fucking ‘oh poor me and my sensibilities.’ You do not like what is said move the fuck on and fuck yourself while you’re at it!

I have learned long ago. They will not change the rules for you. They will change them for themselves. But they do not care about you. These whiners, these censors, these pussies, they do not care about my anger, they do not care about why I am angry, they only care about themselves and how they fucking feel.

If your fucking feelings are hurt and you have the right to bitch then I have the right to say what I want. You have the ability to move on. You have the ability to change how you feel. I fucking did.

So your feelings are hurt.

What about my childhood. My childhood hurts you gonna fix that?? Yeah I fucking thought so.

You know what? You all with your ‘everybody needs to be included and nobody should be offended’ attitude is way outta control. You want to muzzle my feelings and suppress my hurt for the good of yourself?

FUCK YOU!!

Come get some bitch. I will show you how to make your bones. And get even with your step father at the same time.

I will look into your pussy eyes and see you hurt and I promise it will not be nearly the same as mine every god damn day.

Every god damn fucking day.

Every fucking day the alarm clock wakes me up and the pain of my life comes crashing in on me. The thought that today I have to get up and chase that goddamn dollar again and there are literally hundreds of thousands of fuckwads that want to separate me from my money.

I get no reward from turning my life around.

I get no relief from the pain and guilt of my life.

I get no break from the race I am in.

I get e-mails from fucking whinny ass strangers who say that I can not say what I have to say.

You know what? You do what I have done in my life and say that you can tell me that.

You suck for a buck and then see how normal your fucking rants are.

You find a way out of the hell you are in at 15 with no fucking tools and make it to where I am today and then tell me what to fucking say and what to fucking do.

I may not be any place that is all that great but compared to where I was and what I have done with the shit that was handed to me I have done pretty fucking good for myself

You do what I have done start to finish and then you can even think that you can talk to me.

Cause right now you are just fucking noise.

Buzz buzz buzz. What an annoying fucking sound and what annoying fucking sound you make when you want to talk about somebody else to me. Fuck off

Fuck off

Eat shit and fucking die you god damn whiny little school girl.

Go make your bones, go make a life outta shit go fuck off.

Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you

Zombies and The Lord By Rev J. Sleestaxx

This being the Halloween week I thought a bit of Halloween bible would be appropriate.
So we will talk about what the bible has to say about zombies and cannibalism. But first is it cannibalism for a zombie to eat the living.
To eat the corpses of the dead is called Necrophagy. And cannibalism is the killing and eating of the same species. The bible states that this is practiced in the past.

Lam 4:10 The hands of tenderhearted women cooked their own children, who became their food, when my people were destroyed.

WOW their own children that is harsh. But you got to do what you got to do.

John 6:54 The one who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.

The bible also speaks of zombies. Celebrating Zombies even;

Isa 26:19
Your dead will come back to life; your corpses will rise up. Wake up and shout joyfully, you who live in the ground! For you will grow like plants drenched with the morning dew, and the earth will bring forth its dead spirits.

Wow even the lord and god believe that the dead are allowed to come back and walk and dance and sing. Although zombie purists would say that true zombies can not articulate at all. But the bible's zombies can shout joyfully about being a zombie and grow like plants.
It would appear that being a zombie would be a state in which one would be happy about.

The bible also speaks about feeding zombies and zombie residency.

Deu 14:21
You may not eat any corpse, though you may give it to the resident foreigner who is living in your villages and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner.

So I guess that if you are a zombie you are no longer a resident of your country. I would guess that that would make sense and that you would automatically become a member of the zombie nation. the lord loves everyone so i imagine that when Jesus died and then became a zombie it was also for the salvation of the undead also.

1Cor 15:29 Otherwise, what will those do who are baptized for the dead? If the dead are not raised at all, then why are they baptized for them?

Mat 22:13 Then the king said to his attendants, ‘Tie him up hand and foot and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth!’ 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.”

For one to be "thrown to zombies", sounds to me, to be a celebrated position and one that should relished and a position of pride and stature.
I would think that this is because at some point in the feeding you are now a zombie too and the other zombies stop eating you and then you begin to look for live flesh to consume.

John 6:55 For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.

The bible even speaks of a whole city of undead.

Eze 11:6
You have killed many people in this city; you have filled its streets with corpses.

Can you imagine the film prospects and television shows that could be generated from a city like this today? There could be a competition reality show of contestants having to navigate though a city of zombies with out becoming one for cash and prizes. All the prizes you obtained could be given to your loved ones should you not make it!

Deu 25:5
If brothers live together and one of them dies without having a son, the dead man’s wife must not remarry someone outside the family. Instead, her late husband’s brother must go to her, marry her, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law.

You could have a MTV real life in Zombieville and the dysfunctional teenagers can fornicate and drink to excess and sin in zombie town. They can have the sinners of the show date some of the zombies. They should not mind since the bible protects them from marring the zombies.

Luk 20:35
But those who are regarded as worthy to share in that age and in the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage.

The sinners and felons in prison who worry about the injection being too painful can be thrown into zombie city. There they can carve out an existence with the undead until they succumb to the ways of the zombie. This would take care of the prison problem, and the zombie feeding problem that would arise.

Eze 39:18
You will eat the flesh of warriors and drink the blood of the princes of the earth – the rams, lambs, goats, and bulls, all of them fattened animals of Bashan.

I could also see the nut cases starting a zombie advocacy group saying the television shows and movies were taking advantage of the zombies and that someone had to speak for them since they can only say brains.
I would imagine this city of zombies is not unlike the malls in the movies, You know where the mall is filled with zombies looking for more flesh and brains to consume. Why the mall?? I personally would try to get away from the rest of the zombie pack and maybe hide in the bushes by like the IRS office. Then I would leap out and grab the auditors as they came by.

No one knows why living flesh is needed but zombies have needed living flesh since the dawn of time. There must be something in the flesh that appeals to zombies. But the bible states that living flesh is indeed needed by zombies.

John 6:53 Jesus said to them, “I tell you the solemn truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in yourselves.

To eat the flesh of the son of man is to give life. So both life and a zombie state is talked about in the bible as being a state one would not mind being in.

But the bible also has instructions on how to kill a zombie. This was written before the shotgun was invented to blow the heads off of fucking bad zombies.
I say bad zombies because I can not think of a reason why the lord would instruct in how to kill a zombie after speaking so highly of the creation and care of zombies. But how to kill a zombie is also talked about.

So I will say these instructions are fro a time when there was only one way to kill a sinning zombie.

Jdg 4:21 Then Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg in one hand and a hammer in the other. She crept up on him, drove the tent peg through his temple into the ground.

The bible also speaks of the living eating zombies and the dead. I can imagine during war and great famines when the lord was angry, that his people would need to eat something and eating the dead and the evil sinners that entered you city or domicile would make complete sense to me and the lord.

Eze 11:7
Therefore, this is what the sovereign Lord says: ‘The corpses you have dumped in the midst of the city are the meat, and this city is the cooking pot.

To be sure that your in fact dealing with a zombie and to be sure that anyone who has comein contact with a zombie is not or is a zombie the bible also leave provisions or a test when one comes in contact with a zombie.

Num 19:11
“‘Whoever touches the corpse of any person will be ceremonially unclean seven days.

I imagine that 7 days is a sufficient time to be sure that the zombie infection has not taken a hold of you. So if you are in a situation where you think that a loved one has been in contact with a zombie you must keep them away for 7 days. if after 7 days they are showing sign of zombie ism then you may break bread and have them in your domicile.

There was a time in history that the lord created 185 thousand zombies over night. I am willing to bet that this was around Halloween.

Isa 37:36
The Lord’s messenger went out and killed 185,000 troops in the Assyrian camp. When they got up early the next morning, they were all corpses!

Now did he bring them back after Halloween? The bible does not say so. But I can imagine that it would suck to wake up and be dead.
Maybe we will find out on the morning of the 31st. Maybe the lord will turn us all into the undead for Halloween. We can wake up dead on one day and wake up alive on the next. We will all have a better appreciation for being alive after being dead for a day.
Plus I bet you can get a free personal day from work if you can say that you were dead.
So when the 31st rolls around do not be surprised if you wake up dead. Do not be surprised by the dead knocking at your door. And be mindful of the malls during this time also.
The church will be offering candy at a Halloween fair for the kids since there are too many fucking freaks out there. If you do not want to risk taking your wonderful devils witches angels and movies heroes out in the neighborhood bring them on down to the fair.
We will have a haunted house, a jumping thingy and we will also have a marathon boxing lesson for any of the kids.
The street evangelizing has been very successful and we have beat the lord into many of the thugs and sinners in the city over the past month.
We have had a large turnout in the applications for deaconship and I would like to announce that the first female deacon has been accepted.
Please welcome Shannon Lark as the first female deacon. I am sure that you will all make her feel welcome.
Please find the time to stop in the foyer and welcome slash congratulate her on the position

Still Pissed Off

You all want to know what ??
I am still fucking pissed off.

If you do not like here move the fuck on.
No I am not going to give the pussies a moment on my board, on my stand, at my podium.
Henry Rollins does not. Pink does not. Dixie (traitor) Chicks do not offer a opposing view point when they decide to rant and rant and piss and moan.
Why would I let one of you whinny babies an opportunity.
Go fuck yourselves.
LOL
fuck yourselves
ROFLMAO
That is just what you need for perspective and good fucking from yourself.
Try having a couple of those against your will
and then a couple more just to survive
and then fuck yourself some more
and then have a nice day.

6350-070820-923485-710

© 2007 All Rights Reserved.