In my neighborhood #6 By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

This morning in my neighborhood the power went out at like 6 am. Thank god I was already up because I did not want to be late to work.
 I have already shaved and brushed my teeth and was about to shower when the power went out. I showered in the dark I think I know my old fat body well enough to shower in the dark. lulz
 Anyway everyone was there to fix the power. The cops had my street blocked off. The garbage men were there as it was garbage day, the cable guys were there as they had to reroute some cables and shit. The gas man was there as they felt that maybe the gas line was in jeopardy if they had to do some digging.
 Something like 50 people crowded around the manhole cover in front of my house. Only 5 of them had orange hats the rest had white.
 Pamela had come over to ask for some candles. We talked about the power being out and how the last time this happened she went to Wendy’s door for candles and the "bitch" had handed her two sticks of dynamite. I laughed at the joke, but Pam still does not find it funny.
 Rollins was screaming about living off the grid and some stupid shit like that.
 Mc Hammer was in his pajamas drinking a cup of coffee. Or maybe he was wearing a new outfit. I have the toughest time telling the difference.
 I gave Pamela some tea candles and I closed the door. I got dressed for work and thought that maybe I could get the cops and everybody to let me out of the drive way.
 I was about to leave and there was a knock on the door. It was Johnny Cash. I opened the door and he began to babble about the inconvenience of it all.
 Just the some guy poked his head out of the hole in the ground and pointed towards my house. There was a long discussion and the supervisors turned to wards my house.
 so here I have a cop, a cable guy, a telephone repairman, a gas line supervisor and construction looking dude walking up to my house.
 I totally back grounded Johnny for a minute and he knew it and turned around.
 “Damn it!” he says There are too many people to fix this shit!”
 “What” I ask
 He says, “There are too many witnesses to stop the Village People from moving in.”
 

 

Currently reading Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007

Mr. Rollins Thanks You By John Sleestaxx

Mr. Rollins thanks you

Dear Mr. Sleestaxx,

Henry is very busy and he can not visit your myspace page.
Mr. Rollins appreciates that you have been impacted by his work and although he likes fan fiction.
He would like to remind you that his name and likeness is his brand and he would like to remind you that any negative fiction should not be published.

Hymen, Heflin, or some other girly German Nazi name

Oh now let me tell you something about this whole Henry Rollins neighbor fiction thingy.
I see him online "Oh fuck bush this" and "fuck bush that" and "blah blah blah."
"Oh the end is near."
"Commercialism is eating our souls alive."
"Buy my album"
"Oh love me define me."
"Where's my dog? I want water. Bring me water! Oh I look fat don't I? Oh please somebody bring me some damn water. Do I still have it?"
"Oh I want you to like me."
"Oh I want to like you too but you are not in my zip code."
HENRY! I bought your goddamn albums 12+ dollars apiece.
Back then I had to work at a vet cleaning dog shit at min wage of 3.35 hour so your album was 4 hours of cleaning dog shit from sick dogs!
And then I would risk getting killed by rockers going downtown to see you live at the profilatica 2000. And then I risked getting killed by skinheads that followed you around.
The whole time being told corporate America is bad.
Corporate America is a war machine and has to be stopped.
Corporate America is killing our free speech.
We hear Henry does not do drugs or drinks and I say well if that is good for Henry then that has to be the way to go, he is so versed on the world and everything.
Then you exercise your free speech and you do a commercial for a clothing store.
A store that sells the clothes for the enemy, cookie cutter, kill individuality, same as the guy next to me clothes.
You do a commercial for the enemy.
You sold out to the other side.
Oh the despair I was flung into.
The depression that my mind sunk into
The maddening fever of betrayal that burned in my mind and caused so much self loathing that I wanted to die.
I had wasted so many years of my life.
I began to drink and do coke. I had to make up for lost time. 5 years I spent on my coke fueled binge.
The places I would wake up.
The depraved memories that would haunt me all day, until I could get fucked up again, would be oh animals and fruit of the loom underwear, things that Robert Downey Jr. could never ever have portrayed.
Oh man (LOL) the women I would find on my flop house mattress.
The sick and depraved things I did to get the money to get high. I no longer cleaned dog shit I ate dog shit!
I ATE SHIT IN A FUCKING SIDESHOW!
I ate shit in a freak sideshow held in the basement of a night club on Castro Street.
I was known as "Bubo The Dog Shit Eating Monkey Boy" three demeaning shows a night 7 nights a week.
Hook worms, round worms, whip worms. Dysentery, depression, dystopia, and distemper.
I had it all man yeah I was a fucking nut case then.
But I got better.
I found the way out of the depths of hell that was cocaine and drinking.
I learned about hate and rage and I learned that I was responsible for my self.
Then I get this E-mail today.

Mr. Sleestaxx,

Although the gap is always looking for fresh topical celebrities to promote our brand we have to admit that the demographic that would identify with "Bubo The Dog Shit Eating Monkey Boy" is too small to be of interest to us.

Thank you
Some buttmuncher whose has no clue of what is cool and what is not.

Man I hope one legged Pete is still in the same projects he was 10 years ago.

Seven Deadly Sins: Lust By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Today I would like to talk about lust.
Lust is the desire that wells in your soul so fiercely that it pushes the lord from your heart.
Lust is not just sex and sexual relations but also the desire and need to obtain or achieve something.
There are some whose lust is money and material things. Now although they are not thinking of fornicating bodies. They do not spend hours masturbating to images in their heads of hot naked sex. Jerking and rubbing their organs raw thinking of hard nude sweaty bodies, bodies licking and touching, tasting the perspiration and juices from one another in a twisted fleshy pile of carnal knowledge. Heaving and undulating, grinding and panting, slamming one body into another tearing one's soul from the other, screaming god's name and the names of a thousand other lovers as they climax and spill their seed onto one another.

Eze 23:11
“Her sister Oholibah watched this, but she became more corrupt in her lust than her sister
had been, and her acts of prostitution were more numerous than those of her sister.

But those fuckers are weird and twisted. They get off on money, they masturbate to pictures of dead presidents. They sold their soul to Satan so that they could have more material things. These material things and all things of this earth can not be taken into the kingdom of heaven. So they sold their soul for not.
Lust is a desire and the strongest desire is sex. God wanted his children to multiply and dominate the world so he created a strong sex drive.
This desire to have sex is lust. And lustful desires lead you to commit great tragic sins.
Whole operas are based on the twisted desires fueled by lust.
Entire 1 hour and 15 minute porno films are there to entice lustful feelings. Watching these films will cause your skin to inflame and your head drunk with desire. The feelings can become such that the air moving across your sweaty skin can drive you mad.

Eze 23:22
“Therefore, Oholibah, this is what the sovereign Lord says: Look here, I am about to stir
up against you the lovers with whom you were disgusted; I will bring them against you from every side:

Eze 23:36
The Lord said to me: “Son of man, are you willing to pronounce judgment on Oholah and
Oholibah? Then declare to them their abominable deeds!

When we are children our lust appears as a sweet tooth or a habit for junk food. Entire mega corporate empires are built on this lust. They inundate us and our children everyday with advertisements for junk food and candy.
Then when we grow hair and become adolescences and enter puberty we find that certain areas make us happy. Our lust changes to rubbing and touching these areas with other people’s areas.
The desire to rub with another becomes intense and an addiction. We get light headed, we begin to think unclear, and we begin to justify doing wrong things and sinful things to sedate this lust, this demon.

Exo 32:21
Moses said to Aaron, “What did this people do to you, that you have brought on them so
great a sin?”

Exo 32:30
The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a very serious sin, but now I will go up to the Lord – perhaps I can make atonement on behalf of your sin.”

Did you know that lust is controlled by a demon? Yes a demon! The demon’s name is Asmodeus. When you become so inflamed, so drunk with desire, you allow Asmodeus and opportunity to enter your body.
When Asmodeus enters you are no longer in control. You are now at the mercy of Satan’s harbingers of evil. Many of the children in today’s world have born because of the control of Asmodeus.
You girls here today need to watch for Asmodeus.

Exo 20:14
You shall not commit adultery.

You boys need to say no to Asmodeus.

Gen 39:10
Even though she continued to speak to Joseph day after day, he did not respond to her invitation to have sex with her.

You teenagers parking in cars need to not park in such private areas as that leaves an opportunity for Asmodeus to enter your vehicle and then you have sex!

Eze 23:8
She did not abandon the prostitution she had practiced in Egypt; for in her youth men had sex with her, fondled her virgin breasts, and ravished her.

You all are hot and dripping in sweat sex. Undulating and pressing sliding on the vinyl backseat sex. Thumping and bumping breathless panting wet sex. Grinding and pulsing nails racked across the back sex. In and out, teeth biting shoulders sex. Up and down fingers fumbling dark areas sex. Pelvic grinding pelvic like one huge fuck machine in the back seat of your daddy’s car. The two of you humping like animals with the windows fogged and the radio blaring Iron Butterfly’s “Ina-goda-da-vida”.

Col 3:5 So put to death whatever in your nature belongs to the earth: sexual immorality, impurity, shameful passion, evil desire, and greed which is idolatry.

Come to confession and confess your sins. Tell me of your sins and we will work to have you repent and have the darkness on your soul absolved.
Come to confession and tell me of you transgressions and we will work to keep Asmodeus at bay.

Exo 32:32
But now, if you will forgive their sin…, but if not, wipe me out from your book that you
have written.”

Do not let the sin of lust seal your fate. Do not get thrown into the lake of fire. For the burn you will feel from the lake will be mightier and more painful that the burn lust puts on your flesh. These lustful thoughts and feelings can be stopped. You can beat Asmodeus, you can whoop Satan’s ass just as I do everyday. But the first step is to get control of your head, your heart, and happy places.

Exo 32:34
So now go, lead the people to the place I have spoken to you about. See, my angel will go before you. But on the day that I punish, I will indeed punish them for their sin.”

There is time! [Bang On The Podium]
Now today! [Bang On The Podium]
Right this very moment stand and say “No I will not let my lust get the better of me.”
[Bang On The Podium] DO IT NOW!!!
I want every one of you all standing right now to see me, TODAY, and tell me of every moment that lust has been in control of your decisions and in control of your life. We will go over every detail and work through this together.

Rom 13:13
Let us live decently as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in discord and jealousy.

I do not care how vile, or how hot, or how perverted your tales are. We will work this out. We may have to meet more than once if your tales are long or many. But we will do this and we will get to the end. We will get relief from Asmodeus. We will vanquish the lust demon together. You do not have to do this alone.

Gen 18:20
So the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so
blatant

You know which one of you needs to stand this moment. You know you have been lustful and you have been rubbing your body with another.
Even you who has been rubbing yourself in the dark under the covers, head back silently screaming with ecstasy. Your fingers wrinkled from the wetness of you perspiration and spit. Rubbing and sliding over the same nervous areas that excite you. Up and down biting your lip as you think those evil thoughts. Gasping and panting while you play those hot images in the porno theatre of your mind.

Deu 13:6
Suppose your own full brother, your son, your daughter, your beloved wife, or your
closest friend should seduce you secretly and encourage you to go and serve other gods that neither you nor your ancestors have previously known,

Torturing that spot with little slippery circles while run scenarios of hot flesh rubbing yours. You think of the taste of flesh in your mouth. You recall the tastes of your salty lovers skin on your tongue. Like your mind recalls the images of the last time your failed to restrain yourself and how the sliding of their flesh on yours raised the hairs on your neck. Your fingers move faster as the images are played faster. Your breath quickens and you kick the covers off because the heat in the sheets is too much and your skin is aflame with desire for relief. Relief is coming, you know it is coming, but you want to wait just a little longer as your brain boil with images of naked people melting into more naked people. Your lust is mounting and you can no longer hold the tide. Your body shakes as waves of lustful pleasure roll over you.
Yeah you know who you are. You too need to come see me. We need to talk.

Exo 32:30
The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a very serious sin, but now I will go up to the Lord – perhaps I can make atonement on behalf of your sin.”

I want you all to think about how any times you invite Asmodeus into your lives. How many times does the television invite Asmodeus into your lives? What foods and what images are the ones that trigger the lustful thoughts. I know of a man that literately looses all control when he sees his wife vacuum. Seems simple enough but think about how many days there are and how many rooms there are in a house. Now think about how many times Asmodeus can get his wife to vacuum. Yeah that is what I am talking about. Asmodeus is a powerful demon but I know with confession and counseling we can turn this demon back and send him back to hell!

Gen 20:9
Abimelech summoned Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? What sin did I commit against you that would cause you to bring such great guilt on me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should not be done!”

I am here to hear your sins. I am here to counsel your transgressions. I am here.
The teen center is near completion but Satan himself must have a hold on the contractor because that fucker has held up construct for the past two weeks. I would like the knights and the men under 30 to go visit this shit head at the construction shack tomorrow morning. Now I am not saying that you should beat the shit out of him but I think that if he knew the force I command beside god’s he may step up the pace.
Now let us turn to our neighbor and shake their hand. Tell them that you are not worthy to be nest to them because you are going to go out into the parking lot and act the ass.

Amen

Revivalism in the bathroom. By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

God is everywhere

I was in court today and I could not pass the opportunity to evangelize a little while I was there. I went into the rest room on the 8th floor and I found all the stalls full. At first I thought, ‘What are the chances to find an audience like this.’
So I cleared my throat. And let the lord speak to the captured masses that were there.

I have you all here for a reason. Hear me as I tell you all the gospel of the lord.
You all sit there and contemplate the ideas and plans of men. You ignore the plans of the lord.
The lord told Hosea to marry a prostitute.
Hosea 1:2-1:5 When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, he said to him, “Go marry a prostitute who will bear illegitimate children conceived through prostitution, because the nation continually commits spiritual prostitution by turning away from the Lord.” So Hosea married Gomer, the daughter of Diblaim. Then she conceived and gave birth to a son for him. Then the Lord said to Hosea, “Name him ‘Jezreel,’ because in a little while I will punish the dynasty of Jehu on account of the bloodshed in the valley of Jezreel, and I will put an end to the kingdom of Israel. At that time, I will destroy the military power of Israel in the valley of Jezreel.”
Hosea married the prostitute, fathered a child and named the child as the lord has said to.
The lord has told you all to help your fellow man. But do you help your fellow man? No you think of devious and deceptive was to take advantage of man and god's children. You lawyers and judges and tax collectors you all forget gods way, gods love and gods plan for all of man kind. You all fleece the poor as if they are your sheep. Nay they are not your sheep they are the lord’s sheep for he is their Sheppard.
You not only steal; from god but you ignore his word.
Shame on you all and shame on your families. Shame that you reap from the sadness and despair of the weak and shame on you for you oppress and provide no relief for the poor.
You are heads of your community and you provide nothing back to the community.

Hosea 1:6-1:9 she conceived again and gave birth to a daughter. Then the Lord said to him, “Name her ‘No Pity’ (Lo-Ruhamah) because I will no longer have pity on the nation of Israel. For I will certainly not forgive their guilt. But I will have pity on the nation of Judah. I will deliver them by the Lord their God; I will not deliver them by the warrior’s bow, by sword, by military victory, by chariot horses, or by chariots.” When she had weaned ‘No Pity’ (Lo-Ruhamah) she conceived again and gave birth to another son.

Then the Lord said: “Name him ‘Not My People’ (Lo-Ammi), because you are not my people and I am not your God.”

Hosea did as the lord asked even though it was humiliating to him. He fathered a second child so that the lord could show his anger for the land of Israel because Israel had forgotten god’s word and god's plan.
They had strayed and became large in their own minds and thought they were beyond god's law just as you all think you are above the lord and above the other children of god.

[Kicking the wall of a stall] Repent now!
[Kicking the wall of a stall] NOW!
[Kicking the wall of a stall] I can not hear you!
[Kicking the wall of a stall] You are all going to hell and you will all burn for eternity

It is the community that carried you to here. It is community that welcomes your children and you wives and mistresses. You are all false men. You are all sad and I weep for you and your future

Jer 22:3
The Lord says, “Do what is just and right. Deliver those who have been robbed from those who oppress them. Do not exploit or mistreat foreigners who live in your land, children who have no fathers, or widows. Do not kill innocent people in this land.

A toilet flushes and I exit.

Memories and darker places

I was touching bad memories and evoking disturbing emotions the other day and thought that hey this ruined my Sunday how about I ruin everybody’s Tuesday. I am sorry but this is a bit of therapy for me and I now think I can start putting this to down I a tangable format.

I remember lying in bed at night praying that I would get to sleep before they got home. She would be too drunk to occupy him and once she fell asleep and he found me awake....well never mind that horror show. But I remember lying in bed thinking that there has to be a better place than this. Some place that did not hurt. Some place that was warm and nothing was threatening.
I used to think that I could remember a time when that was true. That if I squinted just right and pulled on the edges of my young memory I could see my real dad and my mom smiling and the sun out and there is a fish on the end of my line on my bamboo pole.
I remember laughing at my mom running from the fish as I pulled it out of the water too fast. I remember my dad, my real dad and how brave he was grabbing the squirming flopping fish without hesitation and pulling the hook out of the mouth that made the OH but never spoke.
Another time
I remember the principle coming to my house. I felt so proud when I opened the door and he was there. Man he seemed tall in the door way.
I remember the smile he greeted me with. I remember my mother asking if I was in trouble and him laughing and saying "John? Heavens no."
Then my square headed “Frankenstein” step dad coming in from the back yard and grumbling "who is this"
And my principle introduced him self.
My mother asking if he would like a drink or something. And he said that would not be necessary.
I got embarrassed then because principles do not eat or drink anything, and this must be a special occasion for him to leave school. Man, Mom you had to have known that!
My step father demanding to know why he was here.
He said 'he was here to talk about john'
I was told to go to my room.
I heard the principle say that last week there was test and
The dip shit failed...
No..... I shut the door.
There was murmuring and laughter
Then I heard my step father yelling and then I heard a slap
Then I heard my name being called
And I came out and I was asked what my name was and I told him “John Sleestaxx”.
My mother just sat there with her hand on her cheek and the principle sat there uncomfortable looking at his shoes.
Then my step father said, "there you go he's a Sleestaxx and there is no way a Sleestaxx is smart his real daddy is stupid and he is too.
You made a mistake and I want you all at the school to forget it. There will be no more tests for him and you will leave him in the class he is in." Leave me in my class? Man I must have really failed bad. They wanted to put me back into third grade.
I was glad about that because Miss Meyers was pretty and I liked being in her class.
Mom just sat there as the principle got up, looked at me and smiled, and said that he was sorry for intruding. He shook my hand and I remember my hand just disappearing in his.
And then my step father said that he had overstayed his welcome.
The principle said that he was sorry again and left.
The door closed and I wondered what had happened
I asked my mom as she got up to make dinner "why did Mr. Steiner come over?"
But she said that it was mistake and my stepfather said, "You know Johnny you are just a Sleestaxx and if you were special your daddy would have you at his house with his new wife and kids."
At that moment I knew my step father was right. If I was special I would be with my father, he would have kept me. I would not be here.
But that is as far too happy or proud as I ever get.
I can not recall anything happy about my child hood from that point on.
Just dodging the drunk and the angry mom.

Bloody boogers A Sermon

Friends today I shall go easy on you as I was asked to marry someone last night and well the services, reception and appreciation went well into the night.
I was standing at the urinal at work the other day and there were boogers on the wall by the urinal.
Why were there boogers on the wall?
They were bloody boogers at that. Someone should see their ENT and right away.
What sick, twisted, territory marking practice, are these fuckers up to? Does this mean that this urinal is their’s.
Do they like the smell of THAT urinal cake and do not want anybody to prevent them from inhaling the sticky sweet and tangy smell of lilac, strawberries and urine?
Do they suffer from autism or OCD that they can not piss at any other urinal? Is the whole bathroom theirs??
Are these the same long haired pony tail mother fuckers that can not make coffee?
Are they trying to tell me thanks for the coffee here is a gift. like cats brig in the occasional dead bird or rat?
Am I trespassing? Is one of those fuckers going to try to rough me up in here??
Bring it bitch! I will let taste some of god's righteous power like i did when i was in school and the O Line thought they would tell me to get a "normal" hair cut. Yeah that must have fucking hurt and surprised the fuck out of them. This one lone punker who has no friends went ape shit on their house. They found themselves falling into toilets and steel toes lifting their nut sacks. Man that was fucking great. That tackle faggot found that a forearm on the throat is pretty effective.
Yeah so you IT guys want to fucking tell me that I "a lab rat" can't use the bathroom, Then you had better hope I am sleeping when you come knocking at my fucking door bitch.

Num 22:36

When Balak heard that Balaam was coming, he went out to meet him at a city of Moab which was on the border of the Arnon at the boundary of his territory.

Psa 37:6

He will vindicate you in broad daylight, and publicly defend your just cause.

Psa 72:4

He will defend the oppressed among the people; he will deliver the children of the poor and crush the oppressor.

If I leave a snotty booger in a room does that make the room mine?
Should I go home and smear snot on my wife and kid?
Blow my nose on my car and couch? What does it mean when I shit on my neighbors yard. (He pissed me off two years ago and every six months I take a dump in his yard.)
Are the boogers, tags declaring I have been here? Hey John Sleesatxx took a piss here.
You all should feel honored that your penis has been in the same general vicinity as mine and that you are pissing into the same ceramic wall decoration that I have peed into.
That you are touching the same handle that I touched right after touching my magnificent penis, my glorious miracle granting penis. My external pee spout blessed by God himself and the giver of joy to so many women and whose urine could quite possibly be the holiest urine.
Can urine be holy?

1Ki 6:18

The inside of the temple was all cedar and was adorned with carvings of round ornaments and of flowers in bloom. Everything was cedar; no stones were visible.

1Ki 6:35

He carved cherubs, palm trees, and flowers in bloom and plated them with gold, leveled out over the carvings.

1Ki 7:31

Inside the stand was a round opening that was a foot-and-a-half deep; it had a support that was two and one-quarter feet long. On the edge of the opening were carvings in square frames.

Eze 8:8

He said to me, “Son of man, dig into the wall.” So I dug into the wall and discovered a doorway.


When I was a lost soul I would ride the public transit system and defile the backs of seats with a magic marker. I and my co-conspirators battled for battled for space with RPMS, Regan Kids, VATO, Cholo, Mr. Vela and ACDC. The closer to the drive you got the bolder the move and the greater the badge of honor. Now if one would mark the window behind the driver it was obvious that one had broken into the bus yard and vandalized the bus. This would not count.
We would cause pools to be emptied and then during the day while the owners were working we would go into the backyard and skate the pool. Some of the others would decorate the bottom of the pool for free.
We would write our bands names on the walls in the bathroom over the names of other bands in the Mabuhay Gardens. These would be free advertisement for the band flavor of the month. The bands that stayed up the longest received the record deals while the rest reshuffled and reformed new versions of the same shit until the heroin habits became too grand and they all began to fall by the road side to success. Rest In Peace you stupid losers and drug addicts. The weak and soulless fucktards of my past, I told you all you were on the wrong fucking train and now you are full of fucking worms and bugs and dirt. Now you are all sucking the sweet sulfur smell of hell. You all had the opportunity to reach out but chose to reach back instead. Fuck you all for leaving me here alone.
BASTARDS!
These were terrible times and awful actions perpetrated by me and my friends, but they are the best parts of me and they are what makes me the one with the conviction (misdemeanors only) to be the one that leads you all to the righteous path.

Psa 18:8

Smoke ascended from his nose; fire devoured as it came from his mouth; he hurled down fiery coals from the deep flared nostrils.

Gen 7:22

Everything on dry land that had the breath of life in its nostrils died

Eze 37:9

He said to me, “Prophesy to the breath, – prophesy, son of man – and say to the breath: ‘This is what the sovereign Lord says: Come from the four winds, O’ breath, and breathe on these corpses so that they may live.’”

I have been pulled over for picking and flicking. I was driving down the freeway and I see this lady speeding on my left and not far back is a trooper pacing her speed.
As she passed my I reached out and started waving my hand she saw it slowed down some and went on.
The trooper pulled me over.
He told me that he could arrest me for inference with a police investigation.
"What investigation?" I ask.
He said "I was pacing that yellow car for speeding."
I asked "What car?"
He said "The car that you waved at."
Oh no officer I was not waving at any car i was trying to flick a sticky booger off my finger. He laughed handed me back my license and said that I had better be careful in the future.

Anger Management

We need to celebrate anger, wallow in anger, and be angry. Somebody or some people made us angry why do we need to control this. It was their fault they need to figure out the whys and the hows.

"My anger management"

God made us in his image. God is an angry vengeful God.

Deu 29:23
The whole land will be covered with brimstone, salt, and burning debris; it will not be planted nor will it sprout or produce grass. It will resemble the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Admah and Zeboiim, which the Lord destroyed in his intense anger.

Holy crap! Brimstone! Salt!, Burning debris! Nothing will fucking grow!
Yes I would say that God is an angry Vengeful God. Why is my anger wrong then and why do I have to manage my anger? God does not attend group therapy. He smites those that have offended him!

Lev 26:21
If you walk in hostility against me and are not willing to obey me, I will increase your affliction seven times according to your sins.

Shit! Seven times according to your sins.
He states that we are to smite those that offend us or have taken a position against him! How can one smite another without anger?

Judges 15:6
So the Philistines went up and burned her and her father. Samson said to them, “Because you did this, I will get revenge against you before I quit fighting.” He struck them down and defeated them.

He later whoop their asses with just the jaw bone of a donkey. But mind you he was pissed they had killed his best girl and her father. They had offended him. No one said 'hey Samson, Dude, I can empathize with your feelings and I can see where you are coming from but this anger is not good. You should learn to control your anger, manage it.'
Yeah fucking right! God said here you should beat them down, whoop their girly asses with a bone, just a freakin’ bone. And that is exactly what Samson did! God gave him the strength to do so.
So why am I told that I have to control, quell and stop an emotion that is so close to God, so revered by God so encouraged by God? Because it is God's enemies that want me to be pacified, pussified, whimpified. The enemies of God want me controllable. Because, if I am controllable then they can control me. And that is what all this anger management shit is about.
I...nay we should not try to stop our anger or control our anger, we should wallow in it bath in the wondrous power of the felling of anger. We should celebrate the anger with parties and beatings and make total festivals for anger.
That is anger management! That is what we should do.

Let me share another passage with you...
Isa 5:25
So the Lord is furious with his people; he lifts his hand and strikes them. The mountains shake, and corpses lie like manure in the middle of the streets. Despite all this, his anger does not subside, and his hand is ready to strike again.

If we act on our righteous God given anger it will become stronger and better attuned. This is the anger management that God would want. This is the type of anger that God has. And we all know that the premise of worship and learning is to be more like God and the way that God wants us to be. So to better own the anger you should act on it, encourage it, train it to be there for you. This is anger management that is right with God and in Gods way.

Isa 9:17
So the sovereign master was not pleased with their young men, he took no pity on their orphans and widows; for the whole nation was godless and did wicked things, every mouth was speaking disgraceful words. Despite all this, his anger does not subside, and his hand is ready to strike again.

Again another example of God's anger being there when it was needed. We all know that our God is an angry God and a vengeful God. The bible has many lessons for us to read and take to heart.

Isa 13:9
Look, the Lord’s Day of judgment is coming; it is a day of cruelty and savage, raging anger, destroying the earth and annihilating its sinners.

"Annihilating its sinners." WOW! No seriously WOW! He is coming to kick their asses. And it is our duty to help the Lord when ever possible. But if we let them and their "anger management" and their "politically correctness" control our lives and the way we feel then we will not be ready to purge the earth of the unholy, unwashed, evil hordes that are the enemies of God. And this is their plan with the propaganda and the "oh we have to LOVE everybody" "We need to be more compassionate to our neighbors, especially our neighbors to the south."

NO! [HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] If the have offended me I do not have to be compassionate, I do not have to provide them health care when I can not provide health care to myself.

NO! [HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] If someone has pissed me off then I have the right to express that anger.
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] It is my anger. I own that anger
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] God gave me that anger
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] It is mine to do with what I want
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] Stop fucking telling me to manage it!
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] fucking manage this bitch! [Show the middle finger]
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] this is my right [hold the finger up again] and you will not take it from me!
[HIT THE PODIUM HARD and yell loud] you want to control something control your desire to control me
I will not be your patsy, I will not be your hey boy, I will not be your bitch!
I will make them pay for what they have done. Just as the Lord makes all sinners pay. Because it is my God given right.
Do not think that I am a man who will give up my fucking rights with out a fight. God would be very disappointed in me No all of us if we did not stand up for ourselves.
Think about it! If child is being bullied would you want him to let the bully own him or would you be proud of your child standing up for himself??
DAMN Skippy! You want him to be assertive, you want him to take what is his, it belongs to him he should have it!
God feels the same about us. We are his children and he wants us to succeed. We can not succeed if we are taken out of the game by weird rules, rules that the winners do not follow. Why do they not follow because the rules are only there to keep the competition down?
Get off your asses and compete. Get off your asses and find that middle finger and let that finger be seen. Show that you have a back bone. Use the jaw bone a donkey. That is what your middle finger is it is your donkey jaw bone. Beat their asses and take what is yours. Celebrate in your anger and be free from the evil that tries to bind.

Gen 20:9
Abimelech summoned Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? What sin did I commit against you that would cause you to bring such great guilt on me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should not be done!”

So I want to leave you with some things to think about. If you make someone angry realize that this is their feeling and you should ask for forgiveness, if they do not want to forgive you then that are just tough shit. You forked up and well what your back. If someone makes you mad then let them know they made you mad and that they should watch their back.
It is your feeling and they mad you feel it is their fucking fault.

Some items that need to be passed along.
Thursday baptismal beatings are still very popular and we are starting to have to reschedule some of the converts to another night. We will now hold the ring open earlier on Thursday no-one should have to wait to be right with the lord.
The teen’s club is beginning to flourish and become quite the place to be instead of cruzing, making babies, and doing drugs. The girls have their champion in the ring and she may have shot at taking the title from the boys. The girls keep trying every Friday night but they just need that little extra upmph.
The food bank is actually overflowing so if you are aware of any legal citizens, not H1B visas either I mean Real Americans have them contact Judy McFugly for assistance.
Now lets us turn to our neighbor and show them the finger. HA HA ha