By Rev J. Sleestaxx
I went to Hawaii the other week. I do not advertise my travels and that is for safety for myself and my family. I have enemies and bad people that would love to find me and mine.
My trip to Hawaii was a family thing and I had to work 2 full time jobs for the past four months to pay for this trip. Needless to say I love Hawaii it is beautiful and warm and time does not exist as we know it.
If you were traveling or in Hawaii and would have like to see me you might have.
If you were in DFW and heard "Jesus h Christ what the hell is wrong with you" from an old fat man yelling at a teenager that stepped on my wife’s toes you got to see me. if you were in LAX and heard a fat man exclaim that it was his god given right to drink beer before boarding a plane you got to see me. if you went on a snorkel trip to Molokai crater and saw a fat old man screaming "holy shit! Do you see all the fucking coral down there?". If you heard an old fat man boo at the sunrise on from the crater look out you got to see me. If you heard someone ask if the turtles tasted good, that was me.
If you saw an angry fat man at the Ulla beach parking lot, screaming at the top of his lungs about his GPS device being stolen you got to see me.
If you stole my GPS device woe be to you and your soul should I EVER find your ass mutherfucker!
I am sure that by now the regulars can attest that I am not a "tree hugging, dirt munching, fur kissing druid but I am not an eco-terrorist either.
now I am a bit of a process engineer, logistics manager, and supply chain geek, I love to think about how did they do that, or why did they do that that way. And what was the reasoning fro that sticker or that part number appendix. Is the extra tape reactionary or precautionary (there is a world of difference). So when you get to the island you are informed about the resources being limited and when given a choice you use salt water before fresh and to recycle when you can. So I appreciated this and understood. I do not normally practice these rituals at home as the resources at home are renewable but finite at the island.
When some fucking local piece of shit faggot muther fucker steals from me.
I ranted and I raved (not a fucking clandestine dance party either smart asses) I stomped and I shook my fist at the Hawaiian gods. I cursed the day the fuckers were born and I put such a voodoo curse upon them and theirs that the entire linage will just fizzle out into strokes and aneurisms and fiery foot burnings in lava.
I went back to my room and turned on all 6 facets and left them running for the rest of the 6 days I was there.
I mixed my garbage into one bag and buried the bags in the landscape trimmings bin that was destined to go to the city compost.
At night after drinking drinks in plastic cups (A new one every time I got a refill damn it!) I went around my resort and dumping everyone’s garbage out on the walk ways as if an animal had gotten into it.
I took rocks off the beach. They say there is a curse that follows you if you do but I know this is a false story to keep the visitors from taking the island home piece by piece
Fucking cock suckers get me my fucking GPS back and I will give you back the island I took.
Oh “drive friendly”, oh, “fuck you”
Oh “save resources” every chance at the beach I turned on the fresh water and walked away. Yeah fuck you all and the fucking boat you came in on.
Eat the peanuts out of my shit if you want to recycle.
Yeah that is the ticket I am holding the island hostage until you return my GPS. Until then a curse of bad luck and strokes to you and your whole family until the GPS is returned.
You are not the only ones with power to melt out curses.
And you do not think so huh?
Well give a week or a month of bad luck and your mind will changes bitches!
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..